Personality| So Empty Yet Wishing To Be Overfilled With Emotion; Keep Chasing The Adrenaline High - Tumblr Posts
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If you were a deity, what would you be the God of?
winter and death
you’re known for your self-discipline and rigidity. although you may be perceived as cold and intimidating by those who don’t directly worship you, you’re actually quite fair and polite. your followers pray to you for a safe winter and peaceful death.
What does your heart look like?
iced over, out of the sun
Your heart is very lonely, isn’t it? Is your fortress of ice self-made? Are others afraid of you, or are you afraid of them? Are you afraid of hurting them, or of being hurt? Vulnerability and connection can be frightening, but that’s no reason to shy away from their light, to tuck yourself small into corners, to build up frigid walls to keep yourself from feeling. You will heal when you allow yourself to draw closer to the flames and thaw.
What character archetype are you?
The Innocent
You are...the victim of this tale. Did the villain use you? Did the hero fail to protect you? Were you dead before the story even began? How many scares do you have waiting for someone, anyone to come save you? All that is known is that you didn't deserve what happened to you, the heros will remember you and ensure it never happens to anyone else. Will you stay innocent waiting for your happy ending, will you become the villain realizing you'll never be saved, or is death the only thing that awaits you?
Which unpopular archetype are you?
the dark horse
who would’ve guessed it’d be you? after all this time, it’s really you? when you were little, nobody knew your name. for so long, you’ve lived as a shade amongst shades. written off, cast aside, overlooked. you did your best work in the shadows. it took you so long to bloom, some thought you would never emerge at all. but now’s your time in the spotlight. all the heroes have failed, but you’re still standing. in the darkest hour, you came in to save the day. you’re our last hope, dark horse!
personality: clever, determined, quiet counterpart: the killer
(Thoughts: way too accurate, I only object the quiet, as when alive, she definitely wasn't. That aside, it perfectly describes her backstory, she would've lived a relatively normal life if her parents weren't killed when she was 10. Sparks of vengeance ignited and slowly transformed her into a killer, a bounty hunter and she only made her grand entrance when she was 110% sure about her skills and unwavering aim. She was written off as the sad little orphan while she was cutting open corpses to examine the damage dealt by bullets, customized her pistols from the best revolvers available and showed up like a lightning strike. And being the fourth horseman of the apocalypse, after conquest, war and famine ravaged the people, she in a twisted way is really the last hope to end the misery.)
NEGATIVE QUALITIES: ZODIAC EDITION.
bold what definitely applies to your muse. italicize what somewhat applies to your muse. ( repost, don’t reblog! )
ARIES : tries to do everything at once, doesn’t know when to stop and take care of themselves, bends over backwards for everyone even if someone did them dirty, has entirely too much on their plate.
TAURUS : idealistic, spends a lot of time trying to impress others, doesn’t like to apologize, eating is a coping mechanism or just addictive personalities in general, a tad codependent.
GEMINI : the most flip floppy people ever, what’s today’s mood?, never apologizes, in denial 90% of the time, their way is the highway, desperately needs a break, they have a hard time setting goals because their goals scare them.
CANCER : the literal meaning of I’ll give you the shirt off my back, isolates themselves in fear of someone hurting them, wants to change but is scared of change, complains a lot but never takes advice people give them.
LEO : no one takes them seriously because they feel they always have to portray themselves as the fun one, is actually really sad inside, honestly needs a hug, exhausted always.
VIRGO : can dish it but can’t take it, rushes everything, anxious, plans their future but forgets to live in the moment, sometimes ignores their friends because they have so much on their mind, talks about themselves a lot and sometimes forgets to ask the other person how they are.
LIBRA : solves everyone’s problems but their own, is actually really sad and lonely, gets easily heartbroken but tries not to show it, will do anything to justify bad decisions, honestly just wants everyone to love them but doesn’t really love themselves.
SCORPIO : easily set off, will give anyone the cold shoulder at any time even without reason, keeps a lot in, so observant that they oftentimes find out things that hurt them, too many “what ifs” swirling in their heads, has trouble showing their true selves.
SAGITTARIUS : impatient, brash, commitment issues, body issues, doesn’t realize they don’t need to change for anyone, has a lot of different goals to a point where they get overwhelmed, just wants to disappear and do what they want without anyone questioning them.
CAPRICORN : scared people won’t like them unless they’re at the top of their game 24/7, takes a LOT for them to talk about their feelings, secretly struggling, fake happy, needs a plan but doesn’t know what that plan is, confident but insecure at the same time, wants to be stable but sometimes wishes they could drop everyone’s expectations of them and live normally.
AQUARIUS : gets heartbroken like 30 times a week, trust issues, can be unmotivated and disinterested, feels they have to adapt to every person they meet so they can be liked, doesn’t know how to tap into their emotions despite being very intuitive, confused, expects little.
PISCES : empathetic often to a point of no return, plays the victim, doesn’t know when to say no, cynical, hermit, is very impatient, trusts everyone too much, can be secretly very critical and judgmental, can only tolerate maybe ten minutes of social interaction, needs a lot of validation.
Who are you in a found family?
the silent sufferer
you love your friends, but the truth is, you go through most of the real things alone. it's better that no one sees you like this. you'll be fine, really, because you're used to feeling this way. it'll pass. it always does. that's what you believe, anyway. you're more likely to give someone advice on a lesson you've learned without telling them how you learned it. you've come to realize that, if they're coming to you for advice, they'll be too preoccupied to ask. it stings, but it's... that's just the way feelings work sometimes. when you're around others, most of these problems seem to vanish, and you're better able to love the person you are. only on the worst days do you continue to hear that insistent whisper that it's, "all a lie because they don't know what's *really* going on." it's not a lie. you are loved. those moments together are real. there are times when you can afford not to be so strong.
Stolen from @rubbcrhose
How are you ruined?
ruined by apathy
you cant bring yourself to care. you hate that you cant feel what you used to be able to feel. you hate that you cant be happy. you hate that you cant bring yourself to actually hate. your apathy has swallowed you and immersed you in a well of nothingness. you cant feel what you cant forget. you cant see what you close your eyes to. you choose to feel nothing, and you have lost everything because of it.
Once you're stripped clean what's at your core?
animal intuition
loyalty is the saint you pray to. if you ever were stabbed in the back by your beloved, you'd probably apologize. to your enemies, you're fierce. to your allies, even fiercer. you cultivate a thick inner circle built on promises and devotion, fit only for the best of the best. it's impossible for most to even begin to dissect the type of person you are, owing to your unbreakable emotional walls and confusing philosophies. dream careers? body guard, movie star, unwitting pawn. don't let people get the best of that loyalty.
Lost the link. Shit happens
men, raise the drawbridge
when you're angry, all your defenses go up. the unfortunate person or thing that managed to piss you off is suddenly talking to a wall. On the inside, you're screaming and crying and cussing them out, but somehow you can't express it. you're blank. emotionless. to anyone's knowledge, you could be zoning out of a lecture. because of this, it's hard to express how you're feeling when the person asks for your thoughts. you've choked your feelings down, and they won't come back up.
which tragic character from ancient greek literature are you?
orestes
you are orestes from the oresteia by aeschylus, and you are haunted by a cycle of pain. you try your hardest to be a better person, but sometimes you wonder if you will stop feeling trapped by your past. you have a strong sense of justice, you are quick to protect and defend those you love, and you are not afraid to compromise your morals if that means you are settling the score. eventually though, the consequences of your deeds will catch up to you, but that's okay, because sometimes looking your ugliness right in the eye is the greatest release.
Stolen from @iobartach
Steal it!
What color is your aura?
Wine
plums, nail polish, planners, theaters, pursed lips, mosaics, sewing thread. your essence is wine: you are ruled by determination to bring your grand vision to life. you are a pillar of your chosen family; reliable and moral, there is never a situation for which you are not prepared. you are an idealist and accept nothing less of yourself. you are the activist. you are the dutiful. you find kinship in like-minded individuals of amaranth, pearl, grey, and pink, who share your need to devote to a cause. you are also drawn to the expressive orchid and mauve, who will help you grow and learn it is okay to not live up to expectation. however, you may struggle to get along with the excessive personalities of jade and fire who do not know what they truly want.
HOW DOES YOUR MUSE CARRY EMOTIONS? Rules : please repost, don’t reblog! Bold and italicize what applies accordingly!
Tagged by: stolen.
ANGER: jaw clenching, hands balling into fists, teeth grinding, yelling, going nonverbal, vocalisations (growls, snarls, hisses etc) stuttering speech, rushed speech, slow concise speech, rambling, quiet, arms crossing, shaking head, curling lip upwards, baring teeth, tearing up, animated, expressionless, projects, internalizes, vents, withdraws, tighter movements, passive aggressive, direct, physical outbursts, verbal outbursts, pacing, going still, anger boils over in the heat of the moment but cools down quickly afterwards, anger brews slowly but lingers longer, will act out of impulse when angry, will stew on their anger and plot revenge, holds grudges, forgives easily, forgives but never forgets
JOY: Easy smiles, fighting back grins, suppressed laughter, loud laughter, giggles, chuckling, smirks, whole body laughs, covers mouth when laughing/giggling, throws head back when laughing, slaps leg, touches people around them when laughing, looks down when laughing, looks for eye contact when laughing, sparkling eyes, bubbly happiness, quiet subtle happiness, obnoxious happiness, wants to spread joy, quietly savors joy.
SADNESS: crying, bottling it up, seeks distractions, wallows, meditates and processes, avoidance, seeks out comfort, withdraws, swallowing thickly, talks it out, internalizes it, sad smiles, depression naps, uses alcohol, uses drugs, seeks out sources of joy, fidgets with sentimental item, sits in silence, broods, gets moody, wants someone to share the misery, tries to hide negative emotions, nurtures others to make themselves feel better.
EMBARRASSMENT / SHAME: Blushing, looking away, rubbing at back of head, running hand through hair, clearing throat, covering face, laughing nervously, laughs it off, overthinks, lets it go, self deprecating humor, deflects, gets irritated, smiles, withdraws, crossing arms over stomach, crossing arms over chest, hands in pockets, shoulders sinking, shrugs, falling into silence until comfortable again, talking a lot to compensate.
GUILT: avoiding eye contact, shoulders sinking low, head hanging down, crying, chest aches, lashes out, internalizes, apologizes, deflects, communicates, withdraws, grand gestures for forgiveness, accepts fault easily, punishes themselves, martyrdom, victim complex, over-active guilt complex, healthy conscience, internalizes even after forgiveness, seeking redemption, moves on easily, denial, shuts off empathy to cope, lack of guilt/conscience, sorry they got caught more than caused harm, can’t handle knowing they hurt others.
FEAR/ANXIETY: Trembling, crying, sarcasm/sass to cope, humour to cope, rambles, goes quiet, goes nonverbal, gets angry, fidgeting, freezes up, impatience, clenching jaw, picking at nails, chewing at lip, pulling at clothes, adjusting jewelry/clothing/hair, pacing, swallowing thickly, eyes widening, over-reacts, under-reacts, calm, logical, panic, irrational, overthinks, carefully analyzes, talks to themselves, breathing exercises, flight, fight, withdraw, fawn.
What type of villain are you?
No Moral Compass
You are cold, analytical, and you strive to be as objective as a person of flesh and blood can be. Either don't understand the concepts of good and evil, or you understand it perfectly and think it's a load of bull. Some may call you selfish, some may call you unfeeling, but you're just doing what you believe will yield the best results, plain and simple. Why bother with petty ideals of right or wrong when you can do what will actively help those you give a fuck about? Your goals may be selfish or noble or anything in between, but you will not let anyone make you feel like garbage for going after them. You couldn't care less about what people brand you as. You just care about getting shit done by any means necessary.
If you were a deity, what would you be the God of?
winter and death
you’re known for your self-discipline and rigidity. although you may be perceived as cold and intimidating by those who don’t directly worship you, you’re actually quite fair and polite. your followers pray to you for a safe winter and peaceful death.
what does love feel like to you?
nothing
it's been so long since you've felt anything. do they make you happy? or do they just fill the void in you? you're so tired. you just want to remember how it feels. anything is better than this; this emptiness that feels as if it will never end. they ask you if you're okay. you don't know. you can't tell.
What type of villain are you?
Duality
You have a constant inner struggle between right and wrong. There is a side of you that does not want to be doing what you are doing in the slightest, but once you've tasted the forbidden fruit and done something wrong, you're hungry for more. Perhaps this evil side of you takes shape as simply talking to yourself, a sort of Jekyll and Hyde split, or perhaps its voice is backed up by a demon within you, a parasite that whispers temptations, or a monster that your body reshapes itself into when your own desires become too great. Whatever the case you take great care to keep the evil within a closely guarded secret. Nobody can know, lest the monster you are take complete control.
&
Second round in the chamber
The Corruptible
Who was the one that put you so high up on a pedestal? Usually, one might believe that your descent into darkness would be a quick one, but you know better. You might plead to the contrary, but you know that their influence allowed you to stumble down that declining path at your own pace. You brought them into your life, you allowed them to make a home in your subconscious. The more you try to discover who they are, the more that you allow yourself to lose a part of who you are while consequently letting in a part of them, allowing them to develop and fester like an infected wound just below the surface of your psyche. You brought them into your world, and now you are a part of theirs. What is the point of clinging to your useless mirage of virtue, of righteousness? You know better now. You are just as complicit in producing this demented reality as they are. So throw away your concepts of good and evil, they are not useful here, and spread your arms open in the defiance of morality.
what ghost haunts you?
the ghost of the damned
you rot with the need for something more than what you have. the ghost is built up of the feeling of stagnation. you find it staring at the ceiling with sleep - blurred vision ; this is the third night you have met its eyes in the early hours of the morning. you tear yourself apart looking for comfort, for validation, for acceptance. but it never feels quite enough. you ruin everything you touch, despite every attempt to be more than what you have always been. you would sculpt yourself as something perfect for those around you, but you are no artist. when albert camus wrote, “be silent, heart; there is no hope!” when lucille clifton wrote, “maybe i should’ve wanted less. maybe i should’ve ignored the bowl in me, begging to be filled.” when taylor swift said, “i’m still on that tightrope, i’m still trying everything to get you looking at me.”
What kind of love are you?
Love as a Flaw
Cowering, your love hides in the dark. In shadows and under cover of night, your love runs from corner to corner, afraid to linger, afraid to be caught. Afraid, afraid, afraid of everything. When you fall in love, it is with alarm bells ringing. Your love is a mistake, a flaw in the code, a purchase you don’t remember making and desperately want to return. You didn’t ask for this. You didn’t want this. It’s a problem–– your problem ––and you would do anything to pass it off, burn it away, scoop it out of you with bare hands, or carved out with hooked knives before it can destroy you. Get it out, just get it out now. You don’t care who you hurt in the process, only that you can’t afford to be hurt first. Being loved by you is to be loved by a figment of the imagination. It is to be loved in halves, or not at all.
what soft romance cliché are you?
/oh./
the italicized oh. often seen in romance novels and fanfics. when a character looks at someone, wondering why their chest tightens when they're near, why their heart beats quicken at the slightest touches, why they lose their breathe at the sight of them and suddenly realization dawns on them— oh. they've been in love for a long time now. you are soft and quiet, probably the most overlooked. though when you love, you fall deeply. i'm sure you have a lot of anxieties when it comes to love, and you're more inclined to fall in love with a longtime friend than a stranger. though, your love is pure. and maybe if you have someone in mind, this is your sign to tell them.