Trinkets, Books, 13: An Eclectic Library Of Dusty Tomes, Fictional Textbooks, Pocketbooks, Paperbacks,

Trinkets, Books, 13: An eclectic library of dusty tomes, fictional textbooks, pocketbooks, paperbacks, hardcovers, booklets, leaflets and magical manuals. Paper leaves and the binding surrounding them can help define a character, kick off a subplot, fuel a fetch quest or simply serve as a generic macguffin. Commonly seen in video games such as Baldur’s Gate, Neverwinter Nights, World of Warcraft and Skyrim, book items are a way to subtly world build while still handing out sellable loot. A wizard has a spellbook, a cleric has a holy text and now you have a trinket list.

A pulpy horror book filled with short stories made to terrify adolescents and thrill young adults. A creature who reads the book suffers from a Random Nightmare later the next time they sleep.

A large reference book on the subject of minted coinage within the realm. The top of each page has an illustration of both sides of a coin from a rubbing of the original, lovingly and delicately inked. Below is everything anyone could possibly want to know about the coin: number of dies in the designs, the date each went into service, the date each was taken out and destroyed, dates of repairs and re-engravings on each, quantities of each kind of coin struck. There is even a statement about whether or not there are known counterfeits. According the inside cover, the tome belongs to the Royal Assay of the city of TunFaire in the kingdom of Karenta.

A brand new copy of “Volo's Guide to What to Expect When You’re Expecting” with a couple of pages dog-eared in and “Congratulations!” written on the inside cover.

On the Sending Out of the Soul: An eight-page pamphlet on astral projection. The first seven pages of the pamphlet contain vague mystic writing; however, the eighth page details a formula for effecting astral travel. Among the required ingredients are a brazier and a mild hallucinogenic herb. The formula is always successful but has an unforeseen side effect: it invokes the horrid Outer God the Hydra. Knowledgeable PC’s are aware that the pamphlet first appeared a few generations ago and circulated among occult groups. Most copies were destroyed in the wake of a series of grisly murders.

Dictionnaire Infernal: A full description of the hierarchies of demons. This edition includes sixty-nine illustrations of demons by Louis Le Breton a skilled warlock, infamous for trading his soul for legendary artistic talent rather than arcane power or material wealth.

A journeyman’s guide to the proper practices of the guild who oversees the use of Random Artisan Tools. The travel volume includes how to care for your tools and how to interact with other crafters to seek replacement tools and have worn ones maintained. Other chapters detail acceptable prices for goods sold and services rendered along with advice on any specific ethical concerns the guild may have on trading. Most of the book contains descriptions and diagrams on how to perform basic tasks with the tools to the guild’s standards.

A small book, entitled "The Torrid Affair of Knight Gawain,". When placed on its spine it automatically falls open to particularly risqué page.

A personal journal owned by a psychiatrist who was studying the concept of nightmares and their metaphysical properties. The doctor recorded dozens of firsthand accounts of her patient’s slumbering terrors within this volume as well as notes on the patients themselves and how the dreams affected them. A person who peruses the journal for more than a few minutes suffers from a Random Nightmare the next time they sleep. Upon waking they feel compelled to document their experience on one of the blank pages left near the end of the book.

Alchemy of the Flesh: A dark green tome describing how to use a plethora of humanoid viscera and organs to enhance standard potion brewing techniques.

Tome Of The Endless Tale: A small, worn book with fanciful creatures or locales on battered leather covers, the tome’s pages fill with serialized stories that engage and distract the reader. The Tome focuses on a specific genre (See Note) but the stories crafted within the pages are unique to each reader, tailored by the magic from their own imagination and so vibrant that the book’s tales seem to come to life in the mind’s eye. Once per day, the reader can speak the command word written on the book's inside cover to fill its its pages with a serial story tailored to the speaker. This story typically takes 1 hour to read, continuing from where the last tale completed. ---Note: The DM can choose a genre or roll at random; 1, Adventure 2, Romance 3, Mystery / Crime 4, Horror 5, Thriller / Suspense 6, Fantasy 7, Science Fiction 8, Historical fiction.

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—Note: The previous 10 items are repeated for easier rolling on a d100.

A pulpy horror book filled with short stories made to terrify adolescents and thrill young adults. A creature who reads the book suffers from a Random Nightmare later the next time they sleep.

A large reference book on the subject of minted coinage within the realm. The top of each page has an illustration of both sides of a coin from a rubbing of the original, lovingly and delicately inked. Below is everything anyone could possibly want to know about the coin: number of dies in the designs, the date each went into service, the date each was taken out and destroyed, dates of repairs and re-engravings on each, quantities of each kind of coin struck. There is even a statement about whether or not there are known counterfeits. According the inside cover, the tome belongs to the Royal Assay of the city of TunFaire in the kingdom of Karenta.

A brand new copy of “Volo's Guide to What to Expect When You’re Expecting” with a couple of pages dog-eared in and “Congratulations!” written on the inside cover.

On the Sending Out of the Soul: An eight-page pamphlet on astral projection. The first seven pages of the pamphlet contain vague mystic writing; however, the eighth page details a formula for effecting astral travel. Among the required ingredients are a brazier and a mild hallucinogenic herb. The formula is always successful but has an unforeseen side effect: it invokes the horrid Outer God the Hydra. Knowledgeable PC’s are aware that the pamphlet first appeared a few generations ago and circulated among occult groups. Most copies were destroyed in the wake of a series of grisly murders.

Dictionnaire Infernal: A full description of the hierarchies of demons. This edition includes sixty-nine illustrations of demons by Louis Le Breton a skilled warlock, infamous for trading his soul for legendary artistic talent rather than arcane power or material wealth.

A journeyman’s guide to the proper practices of the guild who oversees the use of Random Artisan Tools. The travel volume includes how to care for your tools and how to interact with other crafters to seek replacement tools and have worn ones maintained. Other chapters detail acceptable prices for goods sold and services rendered along with advice on any specific ethical concerns the guild may have on trading. Most of the book contains descriptions and diagrams on how to perform basic tasks with the tools to the guild’s standards.

A small book, entitled "The Torrid Affair of Knight Gawain,". When placed on its spine it automatically falls open to particularly risqué page.

A personal journal owned by a psychiatrist who was studying the concept of nightmares and their metaphysical properties. The doctor recorded dozens of firsthand accounts of her patient’s slumbering terrors within this volume as well as notes on the patients themselves and how the dreams affected them. A person who peruses the journal for more than a few minutes suffers from a Random Nightmare the next time they sleep. Upon waking they feel compelled to document their experience on one of the blank pages left near the end of the book.

Alchemy of the Flesh: A dark green tome describing how to use a plethora of humanoid viscera and organs to enhance standard potion brewing techniques.

Tome Of The Endless Tale: A small, worn book with fanciful creatures or locales on battered leather covers, the tome’s pages fill with serialized stories that engage and distract the reader. The Tome focuses on a specific genre (See Note) but the stories crafted within the pages are unique to each reader, tailored by the magic from their own imagination and so vibrant that the book’s tales seem to come to life in the mind’s eye. Once per day, the reader can speak the command word written on the book's inside cover to fill its its pages with a serial story tailored to the speaker. This story typically takes 1 hour to read, continuing from where the last tale completed. ---Note: The DM can choose a genre or roll at random; 1, Adventure 2, Romance 3, Mystery / Crime 4, Horror 5, Thriller / Suspense 6, Fantasy 7, Science Fiction 8, Historical fiction.

A cloth-bound book of short stories by famous pulp novelist Cissifin Judeel. The volume is in excellent physical condition.

A bound section that includes chapters six, seven, and nine of some kind of book on mechanical engineering, seemingly torn from a larger work. They describe in enormous detail how to construct an intricate clockwork mechanism, but what it’s supposed to do is left unclear – and, besides, with chapter eight missing you wouldn’t know how to build one of the most important parts…

A cookbook, containing stunningly delicious recipes which, unfortunately, require extraordinarily rare and hard to find ingredients to make. It is no doubt someone's life’s ambition to cook and eat all of them at least once.

An anonymous epic poem about the Brass Spear Prince, full of stirring speeches and descriptions of battle scenes. For many noble travellers, this inspiring story is the reason why they became an adventurer in the first place.

An old bestiary, full of detailed information about monsters and magical beasts. Its sources appear to be approximately one-third hard evidence, one-third rumour or hearsay, and one-third the author's own fevered imagination, with no indication in the text as to which is which. It's information could easily save your life one day if you can only work out which parts of it are actually true...

A strange book whose pages are thin, blank stone tablets bound with knotted leather cords. Skeletons and zombies bow and grovel in the presence of the book.

Phoenix Breviary: A hand-size book bound in what appears to be black ostrich hide. Its pages are empty. Placed in a fire, the book will be unharmed and reveal the canonical hours of a banned cult for as long as it is surrounded by flame. Anything written in it will disappear until revealed similarly.

A joke book, full of genuinely hilarious (If rather mean-spirited) jokes. There are enough one liners alone for hours of belly-laughs and the text would be extremely valued to a jester or entertainer.

An anonymous journal, which records in obsessive detail the suspicious activities of a variety of seemingly-innocuous local citizens, whom the author seems to have been keeping under close observation. Either he was totally paranoid, or they are engaged in some kind of conspiracy. Maybe both.

An instruction manual, which describes in lunatic detail how to build a giant mechanical owl in order to further the cause of righteousness in the land. (The causal relationship between these two things is not made clear.) Chapters 3 through 9, which cover the construction of the owl’s internal mechanisms, have been ripped out.

A book of abstruse speculative philosophy, heavily annotated by some previous student. The annotations to the early chapters are detailed and lucid, but as the book goes on they grow increasingly incoherent, finally lapsing into ravings about a Beast and a City made of Red Steel. Due to the quantity of crazy annotations on its final pages, the last sections of the book are effectively illegible. You've never seen another copy.

An antiquarian manuscript whose author attempts, from the surviving literary and numismatic evidence, to deduce where the major strongholds of the local sorcerer-kings were back in the Age of Wonders. If she’s right, then there are at least three in the area which have been completely forgotten about, one of which is now buried under the streets of a major city…

The memoirs of a famous explorer, describing his many travels. The last chapter describes his plans for his final expedition, from which he never returned. But if the reader can work out where he went wrong, then maybe they'll have better luck…

A catalogue of birds found in this and adjacent kingdoms. Holding the book makes you want to obsessively tick off every species you manage to spot. A former owner of the book seems to have ticked off far more of the really rare ones than you, which causes oddly strong feeling of jealousy. One day, you will surpass him!

A child's sketchbook. On every page that isn't just unintelligible scribbling is a horrific monster.

A book of rather moving and helpfully non-specific love poetry. Memorize some of it for next time you need to persuade someone just how much you adore them!

A notebook in which someone has recorded, in great detail, the gastronomic preferences of a whole range of important and powerful people who live in a nearby large city. Very handy if you want to make a good impression - or to set someone else up to make a bad one!

An extremely spicy erotic novel about the life and loves of a famous courtesan. You keep it with you for, um, further research purposes.

A book of woodcut illustrations, more than a century old, depicting various fantastical monsters. One of them shows a particularly grotesque many-tentacled beastie fighting with a figure in spiked armour, who (Unlike every other figure in the book) has a string of nonsense words engraved beneath them. Disturbingly, these words form an anagram of one of the PC's names.

A book of heretical, politically seditious, and intermittently obscene drinking songs, complete with musical scores. Owning it is highly illegal, but you can’t bear to part with it: after all, it might well be the only copy which survived the purge…

A children's story book with a pressed faerie sprite between the pages...

An engrossing and well-written mystery novel: it's not very deep or clever, but pick it up and you'll soon be wondering where the last six hours went. Handy if you need someone to be distracted without realizing it.

Naga Naga Yo Fraga Blaga: A book whose cover is designed to look as if it was made from green scales, and its pages have golden edges. The volume talks at great length about an ancient race of serpentine creatures of great intellect and natural mastery of sorcery.

Of Gospels and Prophets: A stark white leather cover with gold filigree encompasses this religious reference book. The book does not delve deeply into any specific topic, rather approaches the “mile wide, inch deep” style with no more than 3-5 sentences on any of its entries.

Demozain: A book written by a dozen ur-priests. It makes no attempt to hide the ritual that would summon a sentient black hole to consume a world, but between the lines it reveals secrets of where the gods truly get their power.

A palm-sized notebook that always has at least one more blank page.

A blank spellbook bound in scarred wyvern hide.

Libro Venenum: A vile text filled with pages of aged papyrus and wrapped in dried lizard hide. Translated it proclaims to be the Book (of) Poisons and must be handled with absolute care. The reader is insight into the long-forgotten art of toxic magic, practised primarily by hags.

Folio Malevolence: A profane book whose spine is crafted from the bones of tormented fairies. The pages are all exposed with no actual cover and emit a foul odor. Upon close examination one can see skin has been stretched and matted onto the parchment. The runes on these pages make the reader feel uneasy and waves of hatred flow over them. Good aligned characters will feel immediate aversion to the text. The text itself orders the reader to let malevolence overwhelm then and to lead a life of malice and constant all-consuming rage at the world and everything in it.

A diary that begins quite normal, even boring, but becomes increasingly nonsensical, and the final few pages are indecipherable scrawlings.

A heavy book titled “The Many Faces of Perun”. Dozens of flowers are pressed between its pages.

Opuscule Covetous: A small notebook created with haphazard pieces of vellum tied together with gold wire. If the pages are spread out they appear to be covered in numbered pictures. Anyone who puts the pages in the correct order will see the drawings magically animate. The story they show will be capturing and include scenes of immense wealth and decadence. Those viewing will be intoxicated with avarice and immediately desire the treasures presented in the story. Unbeknownst to the cursed readers this is an elaborate trap set by a witch. What appear to be treasures are actually items the witch herself desires but cannot obtain. Examples would be a sacred holy relic, a newborn child or perhaps a lock of hair from a person pure of heart. No matter what the item they will always appear as something else to the afflicted character. The curse will cease once one or all of the items are obtained and presented to the witch.

A bound album of various portraits and sketches of individual local people and families. Someone went through and meticulously clipped out the heads of all the people in the pictures, leaving the rest of the scenes intact.

A ledger listing quantities and types of Random humanoid Race bones and teeth along with dates, costs, and prices of sales and purchasing.

A book of anatomy with detailed drawings on xenomorphic creatures completely alien to this plane of existence.

A book of genealogical research of a prominent family in the nearby city, mostly consisting of a bound collection of public announcement posters and firsthand accounts of the local historical society.

The Parchments of Pnom: A manuscript written by Hyperborea's leading genealogist and soothsayer. It is written in the "Elder Script" of that land and contains a detailed account of the lineage of the Hyperborean gods, most notably Tsathoggua.

A beginner’s guide for people learning to play the Random Musical Instrument. The slim volume includes diagrams with all the parts of the instrument along with instructions for proper maintenance and care. Past the introduction the book contains the basics of how to play, along with a dozen simple songs that even someone who is unskilled in the performing arts could learn to play by reading the book and putting in a few weeks of regular practice.

A lengthy tome that boasts as its title “A complete history of the Random Humanoid species”. The thick tome is dense with small, fine handwriting and goes into impressive (If dry) detail on the known origins of the people along with the high and lows of their past.

A military historical reference book focusing on the construction, maintenance and historical and modern use of the Random Weapon as it pertains to various forms of warfare.

Book of Dzyan: This work is an ancient text from a far away land, which contains “unwelcome truths”—cosmic revelations inimical to any human mind, which the Book tries to reconcile. As such, it describes accounts of mental and physical rites which are protective to mortals, as well as otherworldly threats and how to deal with them. Anyone who casts bard spells can research the spell contrary melody in this book to learn it in place of a 5th-level spell known.

A child’s sketchbook that features named stick figures of various people in a dozen different hands. The cover is marked with a surprisingly ornate rune, almost beautiful, though reading it makes one’s eyes droop.

De Vermis Mysteriis: An eldritch and bizarre spellbook, written by Ludvig Prinn, an ancient alchemist and necromancer who was burnt alive as punishments for his crimes against nature. Its pages are full of spells and rituals that summon strange entities, familiars, and creatures from beyond space and time. It also has a number of rituals for contacting and dealing with Great Old Ones, Outer Gods, and their minions.

A tiny leather bound book that contains a piece of writing such as a story, a poem, a manuscript, or a recipe. Each day, a new piece of writing magically replaces the previous one.

A cookbook, heavily bookmarked and written on, with pictures to accompany each recipe in the book. Licking the pictures allows you to find out how each dish tastes. Writing new ingredients in the recipes alters how the pictures taste. The back of the cookbook has empty pages to allow people to write down their own custom recipes. A few of the pages already have recipes written on them, some of which sound absolutely revolting.

A small novel, in which its 100 pages are used to describe a pebble. It consists of a single run-on sentence, and the description is often repeated throughout the book.

A leather bound book that bursts into flames when opened and extinguishes itself when closed. The book itself is completely fireproof.

A translation manual that teaches the basics for a long lost language. The guide assists the reader in translating basic words and phrases from the lost language into a commonly known language. This manual has significant values in archeological and research circles.

A bible that contains the founding texts of a now extinct religion that was wiped out long ago. This tome chronicles the origins of a murderous and wild sect that broke off from a popular, but now dead, religion. It gives notes on famous individuals this sect claims to have killed, their method in doing so and gives small insight into where more information about this sect may be.

A humble prayer-book bound in homespun cloth. Even with all your knowledge and sophistication, these simple hymns still have an almost supernatural power to soothe your troubled mind.

The Book of The Keeper of The World: A yellow book that is almost as bright as the sun itself. A bloody skeleton is on the cover with a text in an unreadable arcane language, presumably the title. Eating pages of this makes something in the world just disappear out of everyone's mind, a nothingness filling the place it used to be.

A reprint of a banned book, the last copy thought destroyed decades ago.

A ratty journal overflowing with loose sheets of yellowed paper. They are filled with maddened scrawl and diagrams and calculations and degenerate ranting.

A heavy book filled with Holy Scripture from the Loregiver and proclamations of Fate.

A holy text containing the sacred oaths of the first paladins from each paladin order in the multiverse, listing those of Good alignment as examples to strive for while warning against falling to the dark temptations of those who made their oaths for personal gain or other dark desires.

A book containing a list of artifacts designed for dark purposes, primarily those associated with Evil deities, as well as instructions on how to destroy these items. Several items on this list have already been crossed off, presumably destroyed by previous holders of this book.

A large tome that contains what is likely the largest repository of knowledge on healing salves in existence. It lists out materials, costs, where to find each ingredient, and how to combine these ingredients. There is virtually no ailment that cannot be cured by at least one of these restorative mixtures should the text prove accurate.

A small prayerbook that contains a single long incantation that can be used to contact a celestial who specializes in helping unfortunate souls tricked into a contract with a devil find a way out of their unfair bargains.

Book of Ashur: An arcane tome, bound in ancient dragon hide that contains much wisdom on the conjuring and subjugation of spells.

Liber Noctus: A decrepit tome that bristles with dark secrets and eldritch powers. Reading from the grimoire summons dark thoughts and grim deeds.

A blessed tome containing tales of ancient valour, glory, and self-sacrifice are bound to inspire those of noble heart to greater deeds.

A large book, bound in human skin according to the note tied to it, supposedly it was owned by an ancient necromancer during the age of thunder but its impossible to open as the spirits bound by it will lash out at the carrier. At the bottom it reads that it's currently on loan from Candlekeep.

A thick, heavy leather-bound book that contains illustrations and descriptions of over 3000 different kind of animals, plants, fungi, and minerals that can be used as alchemical ingredients, and how to safely collect, preserve, and store them. It was written by a renowned dark elf alchemist and explorer in the north lands. He spent decades studying and experimenting with the various creatures and plants that inhabit that environment, and compiled his findings and recipes in this book.

A worn-out leather book that has a map of the southern land on its cover. It contains detailed descriptions and directions on how to find and harvest rare and expensive alchemical ingredients that grow in remote, dangerous or hidden locations in the southern land.

A green book that has a dwarven hammer as symbol on its cover. It contains detailed secret information on how to use dwarven alchemy, with a specialized focus on creating oils and elixirs to mix into liquid metal alloys during the forging of weapons and armor.

An old yellowish book that has an elegant symbol on its cover. It was written by a legendary elven alchemist who mastered the art of creating healing potions, over the course of more than half a millennia of dedicated focus.

A collection of slim volumes on a variety of topics, including a registry of the nobility, City Watch commanders, and other notable citizens. Blank pages, a vial of ink, a pen. A number of interesting maps.

A single tome that is a combined multi-volumed summa of unified theory of arcane & divine magic, mechanical physics, psionics, and the cosmos.

An old, small, leather-bound, time-worn book with a goat’s head tooled into its cover. The leather is badly foxed and the pages are barely readable. If studied carefully it seems to be the journal of a fiendish cult.

A sketchbook half-filled with disturbingly accurate anatomical studies of various people, the copper plates that cover it etched with a pleasingly abstract rendering of a human heart.

A strange esoteric translation manual that teaches the basics for a long lost language. The guide assists the reader in translating basic words and phrases from the lost language into a commonly known language. This manual has significant values in archeological and research circles.

A hand-written guide by a purportedly self-taught monk on how to manifest and nurture ki powers. Although the information is not grounded in traditional aesthetic principals, anyone with knowledge of ki will recognize some validity to the methods being discussed. It is from an unknown author.

A religious text of an extinct cult that was wiped out long ago. This tome chronicles the origins of a murderous and wild sect that broke off from a popular, but now dead, religion. It gives notes on famous individuals this sect claims to have killed, their method in doing so and gives small insight into where more information about this sect may be.

A bound set of written texts, recording the beliefs of a famous lone wanderer and philosopher. The individual is well-known throughout the land for his beliefs and exploits but it was previously unknown that he had personally committed any of these things down on writing.

A book of spells with particularly elaborate verbal components written in an unknown but important-looking script. Arcane PC's can determine that only one or two minor spells actually work. Extremely close inspection will reveal that the rest of the "incantations" and "magic words" are actually disguised and encoded reports from a deep-cover spy

A worn, leather-bound journal filled with notes and sketches, offering insights into the daily life of its previous owner. There are many blank pages. Reading from the journal causes miniature illusions to appear for others showing the details of the event written, whether truthful or fanciful.

An alchemical codex containing the formulae for various poisons.

A dusty, ancient tome filled with arcane knowledge and forbidden secrets, written in a strange serpentine language and illuminated with intricate flowing illustrations.

A notebook that contains private notes from a psychiatrist about a patient. The first two pages are banal and clinical; by the fifth, they are inscrutable ramblings.

An identifiable book with a dozen assorted silver nails impaling it. The nails look disorderly and haphazardly hammered, with many bent in strange angles. The book is constantly wet, and the title is illegible.

An arcane spellbook that doesn’t seem to have belonged to a single wizard, bearing many different hands and styles across undoubtedly centuries. Many pages are damaged, arcane scribblings made illegible by time and deterioration. On the pages that remain, it seems that many of the spells appear modified in some way.

A well-worn and obviously fake booklet on how to talk to ghosts.

A bound journal filled with sketches of plants and animals.

A medical journal written in a dead language. It's filled with diagrams and drawings of medical dissections of inhuman alien creatures.

The Book of Fate's Mercies: A book that details incidents where people were saved from death by random chance. For example, a barking dog caused someone to walk just a little quicker down the street, which moved them out of the path of a stampeding horse. The last story in the book is about you, potentially causing you to be extremely aware and reactive but utterly paranoid and agoraphobic.

An inconspicuous diary of a young girl named Fyla. At a young age Fyla's talents allowed her to see into the abyss and corrupted her mind. She wrote in detail about the monsters under her bed and her fears of what awaited her when they would finally come for her on her 18th birthday.

The Book of Wisdom: A tome that contains a collection of sayings, stories, poems, and hymns from every known culture, religion, and philosophy. New entries appear at random, as new Wisdoms are collected and recorded by other disciples carrying a copy of the Book of Wisdom.

A spellbook made from high quality blank parchment is covered in tiny runes. When one of these small inscriptions is pressed the parchment changes color.

Tome Of The Spellblade: A soft-covered leather bound treatise containing writings describing, in the most basic terms possible, methods of magical fighting. Even so, the material is fairly dense and requires definition and reiteration of various terms and ideas. Fortunately, it also contains many detailed diagrams.

Fearful Codex of Ancient Wisdom: A weighty volume bound in pale, scaled leather of unknown origin. This magical tome contains a wealth of knowledge both mundane and esoteric, and is inhabited by an archival spirit that will direct the reader to their desired content on request. Unfortunately, the spirit has undergone a great deal of trauma over the millennia and the "fearful" part of the title is now literal. Attempting to simply open the codex and read normally will reveal nothing but blank pages, with perhaps a fleeting glimpse of text slithering away to pages deeper in the book. Only through persuasion can you access the codex. The book has definite dislikes, some of which follow: Being read by firelight is terrifying - paper burns! Natural light is better, but being read outside in the weather is undignified and risky. Magical illumination is best, preferably indoors and someplace quiet. Any kind of liquid nearby is alarming - ink runs and paper is ruined! Don't even think about eating while you peruse the codex. The book doesn't really like to travel either and would prefer to tucked away safely in a library somewhere when not in use. It enjoys the company of other books but isn't fond of other magical tomes, even non-sentient ones. It's also really, really phobic about the number eight, and invariably uses constructions like "two cubed" or "nine less one" in its own text when needed.

Beedle & Goodfellow

Goodfellow is a warforged barbarian dnd character I want to use if I ever get to play someday. Figured I'd draw his backstory even if I never do 😊

Villain: The Gleebringer Battalions

Gallard Gleebringer only ever wanted to make people happy. By using his skills as a toymaker and inventor he sought to fill the world with devices that would bring wonder, and save people from the drugery of labor to give them more time for play.

Seeking to save his neighbours from the horrors of war, and under the patronage of the battlehungry local margrave, Gallard has a constructed an autonomous army of toy soldiers that in some weeks time will go berserk and begin rampaging across the land, playing out an inexplicable war-game that will leave villages sacked and the entire region destabilized.

It’s up to the party to notice the looming crisis and do something about it before the toys begin their march, As the powers that be are not only blind to the looming crisis but actively dismissive of any

Adventure Hooks:

Scraping together enough coin to fund a construct army has left the margrave’s treasury more than a little tight pursed, leading them to skimp on things like repairing infrastructure, public festivals, and resupplying their garrisons. There’s plenty of opportunities for adventurers as bandits and monsters propagate through the wilderness, and the lesser nobles rely on mercenaries to guard their holdings. Its only so long before the cracks begin to show however, as roads wash out and the realms defenders turn to brigandry. 

The party end up in a tavern drinking with an old military officer previously employed by the margrave. She’s iresome and illtempered, but she’ll crawl out of her cups long enough to tell the tale of how after twenty years of loyal service she was let go for protesting when some of the troops under her command were killed in a training exercise.  If the party press a little she might just let it slip that it wasn’t training so much as a field test of Gleebringer’s machines, which her boss insisted be against real troops. Later on, they’ll find an official bounty posted for the woman, who’s rallied some of her fellow discontented soldiers and started on a campaign of sabotage. 

For his part Gleebringer is quite blind to the looming threat, having been carried by his ever shifting attention to yet another new project once the design and manufacture of the armies were complete. The party might get a chance to talk to him however if they manage to sneak into the excursive exposition he's hosting in the province's capital, either by riding in on the coattails of a wealthy patron, or by sneaking in among the serving staff. Actually getting an audience with the toymaker will be even more difficult as the margrave has set his agents to watch and protect Gleebringer, and it's only so long before they notice the uninvited guest have crashed the private function.

Setup: While many gnomes dabble in artifice, it was early in his apprenticeship with the village toymaker that a young Gallard discovered both his love and prodigious talent for the technical arts. It wasn't just a magical knack, it was an eye for detail that had people saying that the gnome's creations seemed to be alive long before he figured out how to make them move on their own.

Soon Gleebringer toys were in demand across kingdoms, and Gallard found himself not only patronized by innumerable wealthy merchants and nobles but sought out by engineers and craftsfolk of all kinds who realized the genius packed away in his creations.

Gallard didn't let the fame or the fortune go to his head, instead using his growing connections and commission budget to experiment with even more complex designs. For example: scaling up from music boxes to clockwork bands, and eventually an automated opera house.

As a man who dreamed all his life of building a flying town, it was safe to assume that Gallard had his head in the clouds. He hated to see people suffer but seldom thought through the implications of his inventions, Such as when an automated lumber mill intended to supply materials for his projects put an entire town of foresters out of work. This penchant for distraction was only encouraged by the margrave, who saw the military applications of Gleebringer's gifts from the moment a clockwork dragon bought for one of his children ended up badly maiming one of the servants who saught to tidy up the toyblock castle it had been charged with guarding.

Over the past ten years, the Margrave has become Gallard's most generous patron, supplying him with workshops ( staffed by apprentaces who's loyalty can be counted on) and an endless series of new projects ( which always end up increasing the margrave's power and standing at the cost of the common good).

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Villain: Ardos, Pillager of the Lost Shore

The pirate walked down the seamless marble stair and held his prize to the light. Just like the city itself, the bauble was beautiful and delicate wirework, the product of generations of craftsmanship that bent and smudged at the touch of his ash covered hands. “Wait until the folks back home get a load of this” he thought, too enraptured by the glimmering of treasure to smell the scent of burning temple on the wind. 

Setup: A hapless smuggler all his life, Ardos lucked into becoming pirate of the century after guiding his ship through an ocean spanning storm and discovering an unknown continent full of riches to plunder. After filling his hold with riches stolen from a foreign land, he sailed home, recruited a small fleet of other seadogs to help him in his theft, and sailed back to the forgotten shore to plunder again. 

Heady off his successive contests, rich with holy artifacts wrested from foreign temples, and at the head of what might be the most well provisioned pirate fleet in history,  Ardos is looking to settle some old scores against the maritime nations that harried him during his humble beginnings. 

Adventure hooks: 

A vessel of Ardos’s fleet wrecks on a beach nearby the player’s home, scattering odd treasures and marooned pirates across the shore.  Apparently the pirates are driven into factions: The Captain is dead, the navigator and many others have become obsessed with the worship of an arcane idol, the quartermaster and her men are scavenging what they can to get a boat back in the water, and the rest of the crew is happy to maraud on dry land for a bit and wouldn’t mind pillaging the player’s village on the way. 

Just as peacetalks are underway between the home nation and its cheif seagoing rival, Ardos’s fleet rolls in with an offer to side with the highest bidder. The goverments of both sides are slow to overcome their grudges and oust this interloper, while agitators within both nations begin to court the pirate’s favor.  Should the offer sit on the table too long, Ardos will send out saboteurs and agitators of his own, hoping to push both factions to the brink of war once again in order to encourage them to deal. 

After making an enemy of the Pirate lord, the players will be approached by a towering figure who speaks little common but shares their emnity against Ardos. If they trust him, this goliath (Starcounter is his name) will lead them and their ship across the ocean to the lands the marauder plundered to fuel his assertion.  

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Hey Dapper! As an avid follower of- and equally avid inspiration-taker from your work, first of all, thank you for the work you've put into all this. It is a treasure-trove of knowledge and inspiration that has certainly made me very happy. Can I ask for your thoughts on Tharizdun? I've been trying to form a concept of it for in my own world, but I've had little success.

Monsters Reimagined: Tharizdun, the Whisperer in Darkness

Being the default "god of madness" Tharizdun brings together two of my enduring gripes with d&d: gods that no one would actually worship and the enduring legacy of depicting people with mental illness as dangerous lunatics devoid of empathy and reason.

As he currently exists in the DM's toolbox, the whole point of including Tharizdun in your campaign is to act as the powersource behind whichever final fantasy style endboss wants to start the apocalypse before unleashing a mass of offband lovecraftian tentacles. Derivative, trite, his singular desire to inspire others to end the world is MCU levels of failing to give villains proper motivations.

We can do better

TLDR: Far In the wildest depths of the astral sea the ur-god Tharizdun is formless and thoughtless, yet dreaming. Resembling nothing so much as a cosmic nebula of oily clouds, a vast and shapeless expanse of churning primordial chaos that pulses with synapses of psychic lighting containing a consciousness older than time itself. Like a sleeper beset with sleep paralysis the chained oblivion thrashes against a reality it can only barely perceive, sending shockwaves of destruction across the cosmos.

While scholars of all worlds debate the true origins and nature of Tharizdun they can agree on two things:

It is more powerful than all the pantheons of creation, and it is terrified.

Inspiration: I wasn't originally going to do a whole monsters reimagined on Tharizdun, instead simply gesturing on what Matt Mercer has done with the deity (using the roiling chaos as a throughline for much of his Exandrian worldbuilding) and leaving it at that.

Around the same time I got this ask though I was considering doing my own take on Azathoth, the so called "blind idiot god" of the lovecraft mythos, inspiration struck and I decided to alloy the two concepts into what I think is a stronger whole. There's a lot of overlap in the two formless horrors, partly due to Tharizdun being a d&d's attempt to dip its toe into eldritch horror, without quite understanding the thematic framework involved.

Like many other things ( Minorities, the sea, decay, air conditioning) Lovecraft was terrified of objective reality. This might sound like a joke, but fundamental to his mythos is the fear that earth and the white men that lived upon it were not the centre of the universe created by a loving god. Lovecraft lived in increasingly scientific times and the science supported the idea of a universe in which humanity's existence was the meaningless product of random chance. Azathoth was this anxiety embodied in its most extreme scale: the capital G god of the universe which sat in the middle of all creation that was not only uncaring towards humanity (as many of Lovecraft's creations were) but the embodiment of ultimate unthinking chaos.

Trying to port Azathoth (and most of the other lovecrafitan pantheon) doesn't work because the conceits of the genre fundamentally clash. D&D DOES propose a moral universe, and goes out of its way to simplify morality down to such a cartoonish level that it has objective answers. In Lovecraft the horror comes from the fact that the cultists and their fucked up alien gods exist, where as the moral christian god doesn't... in d&d there's no reason for the cultists to worship the fucked up alien gods because the regular gods are both existent and quite nice.

The default d&d cosmology has multiple infinite voids of chaos including limbo, the abyss, and the far realm. I've already given my take on one of these, but I wanted an alternative for the origins of the weird that wasn't specifically focused on entropic decay.

There's a fascinating (and very depressing) history over the term hysteria and the connotations of mental crisis with feminine fragility. The word itself comes from the greek word for womb and there's something about the idea of "primal birthing chaos" that's worth playing with insofar as it makes weird rightoids Jordan Peterson deeply afraid.

Taking these thoughts as well as my earlier gripes in mind, its going to take a bit of an overhaul to make Tharizdun/Azathoth as a credible antagonistic force for a campaign. Also, this might be my own bias as an author showing through here but I don't go in for the lovecrafitan "truths too terrible to be understood". I think the universe is a fundamentally knowable place and if things exist outside our means of perceiving them then we'll just bullrush through and work out a temporary explanation on our way.

Here's my Fix/Pitch: Both Tharizdun and Azathoth are supposed to represent primordial chaos and formless madness. D&D's less than stellar history with mental health issues aside, we know that "madness" isn't evil and it isn't the antithetical opposite of order: It's flawed reason, it's an inability to comprehend, and it's deeply scary for those going through it.

THAT ended up reminding me of a famous quote from lovecraft himself; "The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown".

What if we make THAT FEAR into the god? Imagine the panicked sensation of being woken from the deepest slumber by a sudden noise, the door opening or a loud bang going off somewhere on your street..... the phantom horror of something touching you, crawling over you in the middle of the night before you have any of your senses or reason or memory to tell you that it's just your partner or your pet or your own bed sheets. That's the stuff sleep paralysis is made of and it's been haunting us humans since the dawn of time. It's also the same horror of being born, of being a non-thing and then coming into existence in fits and starts without any understanding of the world that you're now

Now imagine there's something out there in the astral sea, the plane of dreams and thoughts... powerful beyond all imagining but created without the ability to ever fully wake up. It is stuck in that first moment of existence because it may well have been the first thing to ever exist and it's been trapped in the shapeless nightmare of an infant since the dawn of time

THAT is how you make a god about the horror of the unknown. A god that is antagonistic to us because it is sacred of us, and it is scared because it has no way of knowing us, knowing the reality it inhabits beyond its own fear.

Adventure Hooks:

The greatest threat Tharizdun presents to most beings in the universe is having a nightmare about them. Through the inexplicable paths of sleep an individual's mind may find themselves connected to the entity's own... receiving terrible visions as the thinking clouds of Tharizdun's body churn in a variable brainstorm. Some aspect of this communion will be twisted into something terrible, birthed into the cosmos with the same shrieking fear and confusion that inspired its creation. Some desperate few seek out this communion, thinking in their hubris that they can give shape to Tharizdun's creation, that the terror beyond time suffers collaborators or requests. (Yes, I'm yoinking the dream-spawning ability of beholders. They were already weird enough before they started getting involved with dream stuff)

Despite being a living entity, Tharizdun is also a place, a plane unto itself streaking through the multiverse like a collossal ameoba through the primordial soup. There are landscapes within the god, whole continents that form and erode through seasons of surreality as the paroxyc titan dreams them into being. One can create portals into these landscapes, even fly a jammership across them, but the act of doing so invites an even more chaotic backlash than visiting the chained oblivion in dreams, letting its terror leak out into the waking worlds.

The name "chained oblivion" dates back to an eon when forces of celestial order attempted to keep Tharizdun contained in the hopes of preventing the escape of its creations or its contact with other minds. This period of the multiverse oft refereed to as the "Time of Quiet" sadly came to an end when the entity's bindings were shattered by a collective of villains and horrors today refereed to as the "Court of Fools" or "Troupe of the Final Void". The Troupe are a motley bunch, unable to agree on a theology but all wanting to pick at the slumbering titan like it was a scab on the skin of heaven. Some serenade Tharzidun with cacophonous music, others hurl saints and sacrifices into its body, some worship or hunt the god's offspring while others stab it with cosmic pokers, just to get a reaction. They want to wake the chained oblivion and don't care how much of the multiverse they have to burn to do it.

Like a mollusc producing pearls as a means of containing an irritating bit of grit, Tharizdun's roiling cosmic body will occasionally spit out an entire world or strange demiplanes as a means of dislodging something it could not pallet. While this has been the genesis of many realms both beautiful and terrible throughout the astral timeline, of late all these worlds worth taking have been colonized by the Troupe. Woe and pity to any mortal who calls such a world home, ruled over by tyrants who care only for destruction, unaware of a cosmos not coloured by Tharizdun's wake.

Titles: The chained oblivion, the spiraling titan, sire of stars, the Paroxsmal god, Lord of all Hysterics.

Signs: Stormclouds that look oily and churn with otherworldly light, formless nightmares and pervasive sleep paralysis, mass delusion, darkness that echoes with the god's muttering and the sound of distant flutes.

Worshippers: Ad hoc worship of Tharizdun tends to congregate around those who have received unwanted visions of the chained oblivion, as the harrowing experiance often bestows those that suffer it with an otherworldy weight to their words, to say nothing of occasional psychic powers. Many abberations likewise pay heed to the chained oblivion, either for directly giving them life or for its great and insuppressable power. Among these include Grell who refer to Tharizdun as "storm mother", The nightmarish Quori follow in the wake of the god's psychic emanations and make up a large faction of the court of fools, and the Kaorti, terrifying mage-things remade by exposure to the spiralling titan's heart who claim to be heralds for the entity.

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The Metalsmith’s Workshop Battle Map

Our new map is now available for download! The home, forge, and store of a renowned smith. Tell me, what might this place be called?

Download it here!