Demidolll - Demidoll

I feel like someone is standing next to me talking about how I'm dead

People make a lot of good "thank god I'm not a kid anymore" posts about like school bullies or homework or puberty. But actually my #1 top of the "thank god I'm not a kid anymore" list is the fact that I can leave the event when I want to.

Any event I'm at! I can say "okay well I'm tired I'm going home goodbye." Could not do that shit as a kid. If you're a kid it's like yeah you will sit here at your brother's soccer game in the cold for the next 1.5 hours. You will sit here at your sibling's football practice. You will stay at this BBQ until the whole family is done with the BBQ. You are stuck at the mall until mom finds the pants she needs. You are stuck at the grocery store. No we don't know how long. You are stuck at band practice. It's running late but you're not allowed to leave. You are stuck at the party that the adults said you're leaving soon but they keep talking to these 2 people who showed up late. What the Fuck.

And that shit is on top of having homework.

“It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

Think of me - 20240619

Think of my name as the sirens you hear fleeting by,

you always hear it, but you never know why.

Think of my laughter as music you hear, birds singing as the day starts anew.

Think of my beliefs as something to be discarded, as are you.

Think of my body not as a temple, but mother nature that bounces back every time you try to hurt her,

always surviving any problems you stir, any attempt at murder.

Think of my face as a shirt you have of a band you've never heard,

you show it to everyone, but your lack of understanding of it is absurd,

after all, you don't realise the hours of effort I've put into making it pretty –

hours wasted in an attempt to make you less shitty.

Think of my mind as the ocean. The surface is shallow and fun with the beaches,

but no one has ever seen how deep it really is.

No one knows what monsters lie at the bottom, and the density there is too intense to escape without death.

Just like the ocean, my mind is of incomprehensible depth.

Think of me as a paradox, a living contradiction, an enigma, questions without end,

I'll see chaos as the answer, the only thing I can understand.