Demidolll - Demidoll

When you understand that kids and teenagers being salty about literary symbolic analysis comes from a very real place of annoyance and frustration at some teachers for being over-bearing and pretentious in their projecting of symbolism onto every facet of a story but you also understand that literary analysis and critical thinking in regards to symbolism is extremely important and deserves to be not only taught in schools, but actively used by writers when examining their own work to see if they might have used symbolism unintentionally and to make sure that they are using symbolism effectively:

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my eyes - 20231225

I may seem dark, but come a little closer

Make me happy, I’ll reflect your light

You'll see silhouettes of warm summer days near forests and green lakes

Specks of black stay, but aren't they pretty?

Very few see my green truth, I don't allow others to see anything but black

Soften me, make me forget what I lack

You've shone it on me, the light

Both our faces, now painted with delight

Think of me - 20240619

Think of my name as the sirens you hear fleeting by,

you always hear it, but you never know why.

Think of my laughter as music you hear, birds singing as the day starts anew.

Think of my beliefs as something to be discarded, as are you.

Think of my body not as a temple, but mother nature that bounces back every time you try to hurt her,

always surviving any problems you stir, any attempt at murder.

Think of my face as a shirt you have of a band you've never heard,

you show it to everyone, but your lack of understanding of it is absurd,

after all, you don't realise the hours of effort I've put into making it pretty –

hours wasted in an attempt to make you less shitty.

Think of my mind as the ocean. The surface is shallow and fun with the beaches,

but no one has ever seen how deep it really is.

No one knows what monsters lie at the bottom, and the density there is too intense to escape without death.

Just like the ocean, my mind is of incomprehensible depth.

Think of me as a paradox, a living contradiction, an enigma, questions without end,

I'll see chaos as the answer, the only thing I can understand.

meliora couldn't tell you where it went wrong if you asked her.

maybe it was when her mom died, leaving her father and five year old self alone.

maybe it was when her father did things just to lose himself, to dilute himself with other substances.

maybe when she wasn't allowed to leave the house anymore?

when she started reading about gods; maybe that was it.

when she started reading about gods and their tales, their victories and their losses, their smiles and their tears. their wants and their needs.

she didn't know why it was eleutheria, really. maybe it's because she hadn't left the house in a decade? nonetheless, she worshipped her. made her a secret altar with what she had, and honoured her.

or maybe everything went wrong when her god gave her what she wanted; freedom.

or maybe it was just another form of being trapped. moving a bird from one cage to another.

though this place wasn't as bad as home. there was no alcohol-father mix to torment and trap her, no loneliness. no, these people were nice to her. she even made a few friends for the first time in years!

the grass beneath her feet seemed greener, the paradisiacal world's saturation values seemingly turned up in contrast to the place she used to call home.

used to; this was her home now. Collatio, the place Eleutheria had led — or, technically, kidnapped — her to.

a place far away from humans (except the five she was staying with, though she liked them). a place no one could reach.

she'd almost called her new friends crazy when they asked for her help to leave.

leave? leave Collatio? leave this perfect home?

...leave her?

no. that's what she'd told them; no. this place, these people, it was all too good to seperate from. she won't help them ruin a good thing.

and then owen got taken.

the group had gotten overwhelmed during battle for the first time, and since meliora had decided not to come along, they'd lost the battle. lost owen.

when they came back home to meliora, the group was frantic. understandably so; one out of six humans in this realm had just gotten captured.

killed? they didn't know.

meliora didn't know.

and fuck if it didn't feel terrible. she tried to stick to her values, she really did. but a voice in the back of her head kept telling her it was her fault owen was taken. that if she'd helped her friends, they'd all be here now, happy and safe.

so of course she joined the rest of the humans to go back to the boss and save owen. how couldn't she?

you know how the story goes. meliora went with her friends, they all saved owen, then meliora decided to join the humans in their endeavour.

not because she was happy they'd leave, but because she know it'd hurt more if her friends got hurt again because of her.

and so, the weeks went by. she trained, she talked, she lived, she laughed. some might even say she loved these new friends of her.

oh, how silly she was.

because then she found out there was a traitor amongst her new merry band of humans. one of her friends was not a human. no, they were a spy. one sent by god knows who, for who-knows-what reason. all she knew is that they didn't want the humans to leave Collatio.

but surely it wouldn't be an issue. surely, as long as she stayed focused, she could still help her friends leave.

notice how i said something went wrong? you wanna know what it was?

meliora and her friends were fighting the king. all eyes were on the king, when-

“meliora.”

SLASH.

“my sincerest apologies,”

a sword behind her lifted once more.

“and my deepest condolences.”

she could barely feel like a piece of paper getting stapled, before the idyllic world went black.

« GAME OVER »