Trans Anger Is Justified. I Have Been Told My Entire Life That Who I Am Was Less Important Than How People

Trans anger is justified. I have been told my entire life that who I am was less important than how people feel about me and when I came out, I was bombarded with denial. I've been told that I'm predatory simply because I am trans, I've been called names, I've been put under the microscope dozens of times.

If trans anger makes you uncomfortable, know that transphobia has made millions of trans people uncomfortable and unsafe.

People call autistic and other specific groups of disabled people “fae” and use that to justify literally murdering us for hundreds of years, and now they get mad when we reclaim that language and they say we’re disrespecting Fae (like how folks disrespected us by hurting us and saying it’s justified because we’re Fae?) or say we’re disrespecting what is oftentimes our own cultures or the cultures of our own people.

I’m very much not joking on this. If you admonish someone (especially a disabled person) for calling themself fae in some way, even if you think you’re defending your culture or fae themselves, you need to think very critically about the history of fae with disabled people and about your dynamic in that.

This is a real, very long history that still has affects today, and the moment some disabled people have started to reclaim it, some of y’all have turned around and said we have no right to it.

Tumblr isn't social media, it's a habit. Like smoking. We're all gathering by the dumpster in the cold, reblogging posts.

My whole queer experience has been ✨denial✨

the “softboy” aesthetic isn’t inherently infantilizing, the infantilization comes from how other people treat those who use the aesthetic or apply it to people who don’t. It’s okay to not like the softboy aesthetic, it’s okay to feel uncomfortable with using it, it’s okay to remind people not to apply the term to people (especially trans people) without confirmation that they’re comfortable with it

however, the fact that Every Single Time someone complains about the term it’s “uwu softboi ittle wittle babies that are okay with infantilizing themselves” is actually, infantilizing people who use the softboy aesthetic because you don’t like it. the constant mocking and othering of the term has made it actively uncomfortable for me to use it, which is rather Unfortunate considering I was drawn to the term because it helped me feel confident in presenting the way that I wanted to while easing my social dysphoria. it’s comforting to me, a 5′3 gnc trans masc person, to be told that I’m Allowed to not be traditionally masculine. it’s comforting for my dysphoria to embrace my presentation as not undercutting my identity. it’s then, of course, Very Uncomfortable for people to constantly pick at the term and the people who used it. 

what it comes down to is treating people like they’re infantile because they happen to be feminine, which is particularly gross in trans spaces. I absolutely understand that trans men deserve the space to be unapologetically masculine, everyone Deserves to present and be treated in a way that they feel comfortable, but I Really wish the expression of this didn’t come at the expense of people who aren’t.