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GUESS WHOS DONE
(Well technically I still need to put a Velcro patch on the back of his head and the back of his shell so the head can stay up independently BUT)
Here’s some more glamour shots because I am SO proud of this boy.
(Also ft. Him being my twins new favorite fidget toy)
I’m losing followers for reblogging a post rejecting the notion that butch and femme are “lesbian exclusive” terms, and...Look, I was swayed by the wave of thinly-veiled lesbian separatist rhetoric on here and twitter, too, back when I was just coming into my identity as a lesbian and didn’t know enough to identify that rhetoric for what it was—but it’s all a lie. I did my own reading, and the undeniable truth is that women who now would probably identify as bi were part of lesbian butch/fem(me) bar culture. The undeniable truth is that the terms butch and fem(me) were used in the ball scene. The undeniable truth is that anyone saying otherwise is repackaging white, upper-class second wave lesbian separatist rhetoric, which is inherently colonial and white. There is a reason why Black American feminists of the second wave went so far as to start their own movement (Womanism), that being that these white university educated upper-middle to upper-class feminists were full of shit.
Give me some time and I’ll write a cited essay on it this weekend.
hmk. i feel like the conversation around nonbinary ppl bein included in attraction is. not quite what it shuold be
“nonbinary people are inherently included in all orientations!!!” is a disgusting, misgendering concept.
“all orientations have the possibility of including some nonbinary people” is a more accurate, still probably problematic, alternative.
explanation: a gay man’s orientation does not inherently include all nonbinary people, because not all nonbinary people are masc-aligned fem-aligned, transfem, nonaligned, and MANY MANY MORE are not necessarily included. this applies to any and every orientation. HELL, even masc-aligned enbies might not be comfortable being included in a gay man’s orientation.
orientation and its relationship to gender, especially nonbinary genders, is messy and the language we currently have is not sufficient.
saying “it’s possible you were already attracted to a nonbinary person, so enbies are included in all orientations” is stil the same problem. it’s not as woke as you think it is. it just shows how people will still assign genders to people based on outward presentation, and assumes a certain presentation expectation of nonbinary people. just because a trans man wears a dress and a lesbian finds him attractive doesn’t mean he’s included in said lesbian’s attraction, to make a possibly unhelpful analogy.
this might seem like a nitpick of wording, but it’s fucking important.
edit: changed “male-lite” to “masc-aligned” to avoid being reductionist!
(also for anyone curious, i used male-lite ironically, i think the term is offensive too grnoigrng)
Hey there, so something that's been on my mind a while but have had trouble articulating is how in terms of trans discourse, and understanding of our issues, it often feels like people only focusing on the people who have it worst in their minds, trans women, makes the true picture of how transphobia and other oppresions intersect incomplete. Without the consideration of transmasc oppression, it's a picture that is incomplete, but people try and get stuff done with this incomplete picture anyway, and its interesting, because once you add in more voices, it should theoretically help our understanding of everything,? Right? I hope that you see what I'm getting at here, but if you red this, thank you, ^^ -transmascnotes85
Absolutely! And I think it goes beyond just a focus on trans women- because a lot of transfemme issues get ignored, too. Like, their experiences while closeted, their interactions with feminism before they realize they’re trans, the way being seen as a man impacts them- or being seen as a feminine man. This article, written by a closeted trans woman about her experiences, really covers that. I think the reason folks tend to pick up trans women specifically is because there’s easy-to-digest overlap between misogyny, and transmisogyny. It’s easy to constrain understandings of their experiences to “woman plus trans”, say they’re your queens, your sisters, and then pat yourself on the back for being a good trans ally & call it a day. It allows cis women to focus on the overlap of experiences between them and trans women; misogyny. And then they focus on misogyny. “The patriarchy only hates trans women because “choosing” to be a woman is the worst thing you can do”, they say, and it lets them ignore the fact that cis women oppress trans women, too. Anyway, all of this to say that it’s not even just about the focus on trans women’s issues- because it falls short of that, too. It’s a way of ignoring the fact that transphobia as a system even exists, that it’s something they, too, benefit from as a system. The reason they don’t like to think about transmascs as a whole, or even AMAB nonbinary people, is because we complicate things so they aren’t able to do that. If a woman is the worst thing someone can be, why then are trans men oppressed? Why are nonbinary people oppressed? And their answer tends to be: well, they aren’t. If the patriarchy hates trans women ONLY because they “choose” to be women, then it must reward transmascs for “choosing” to be men- and nonbinary transfemmes, and AMAB nonbinary people in general, don’t really fit this narrative, so they’re ignored. Obviously, that doesn’t make any sense. Provably. Quantifiabley. We know transphobia is real; we know it doesn’t reward trans men. We know nonbinary people suffer under it, too. But cis people don’t like that, and they don’t want to talk about it, so they’ve found another convenient way to ignore it while seeming just as “woke” as if they didn’t.
first of all, i absolutely adore your blog & posts. you put into words a lot of anxieties and thoughts i already had for Years over the weird way people - in and outside trans/nb communities - treat trans manhood (+ manhood in general, spec. queer manhood), but didn't knew how/was afraid to express. thank you so much. that being said, i would like to ask if you have any reading recs on the topic of internalized homophobia and trans manhood, i can't find much on it, sadly. thank you in advance!!
Ahh thanks! You’re really sweet to say that. I’m glad I’ve been able to say things that resonate with you.
I really like One Hating Men (And Becoming One Anyway); it’s got some funky parts I don’t agree with in the second half, but overall it really resonated with me.
And this is just on my reading list- I haven’t gotten around to it yet- but Becoming a Visible Man was recommended to me as a great book on transmasc experiences.
If folks have other recommendations, let me know! I think I saw @saint-dionysus kicking a reading list around recently too, but my bookmarks from pawing through it apparently did not save.
dysphoria-induced Chaos Haircuts are Valid^tm
From Wikipedia: Familiar stranger
“ A familiar stranger is an individual who is recognized by another from regularly sharing a common physical space such as a street or bus stop, but with whom one does not interact. First identified by Stanley Milgram in the 1972 paper The Familiar Stranger: An Aspect of Urban Anonymity ”
Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban: Stills (2004)
you’re not annoying!!! ur not annoying when u talk about what u love!! ur not annoying when u double text!!! ur not annoying when u share ur feelings or call that person or laugh at that joke!!! ur not annoying!!!!
Aww how cute.. wait
(via)
Hey, if you genuinely believe that men are trash, if you really think that men can’t love as deeply and as authentically as women, if you think that women are inherently better than men in any way, if you think men deserve any less love and compassion and kindness than women, or if you think that men should be excluded from body positivity and forms of support,
I’m really sorry you haven’t had good men and boys in your life. I’m sorry that something happened to you that made you believe these lies. I’m really sorry. But saying these things is untrue, hurtful, unkind, and cruel.
Boys and men can be as good and kind and loving and worthy as women. Full stop.
younger me, trying to figure out if I'm trans: that would be so expensive though
My whole queer experience has been ✨denial✨
ok like. when you reblog a “men are trash” post by a terf shes literally talking about both trans women AND cis men. there is no distinction for the terf, don’t promote or give terfs a platform period.
fuck why do my EYEBROWS give me dysphoria?
Dude you know the question you asked what do conservatives get out of supernatural? So yesterday I found out that a friend of mine from high school who is a 22yo white cishet right-leaning Roman Catholic dude who is currently serving in the military watched all 15 seasons of supernatural. Apparently he liked the guns and the fighting and he also felt like Sam and Deans’ relationship with each other and with their father reflected a lot of his own experiences growing up with 5 brothers and a military father who was gone more often than not. When he started watching, his fav character was Sam but by the end, that had shifted to Dean although he disliked the fact that Dean was, and this is a direct quote, “such a whore.” I asked him if he liked the ending and he said that it was okay, that Dean’s death was “bullshit” but that the brothers got to enter heaven together and that’s what was most important. I additionally asked him what he thought of Castiel and he said that he thought his character was boring and he disliked it when the show tried to make Cas the center of episodes. He had absolutely no memory of what happened in 15x18 and had to look up the synopsis again to remember that Cas died. **********ADDITIONAL FACTS ABOUT MY FRIEND THAT MAKE ALL OF THIS ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL: we met through ballet, one of his other favorite shows is Hannibal, he is an absolutely lethal jujitsu fighter, he has no idea what tumblr is, he works on motorcycles and vintage cars for fun which his dad taught him how to do, and when he was 18, after his gf at the time cheated on him, he decided to give up on women and he dated a gay friend of his for 3 months. Apparently he figured out pretty quickly that he was “definitely straight” but he kept dating/having sex with his friend/boyfriend until they both moved away because “he was a genuinely good dude” and he “didn’t have to catch so it was fine.” Yes he did suck dick. I asked
HELLO????????