Theyre So Handsome

they’re so handsome

Tumblr isn't social media, it's a habit. Like smoking. We're all gathering by the dumpster in the cold, reblogging posts.

you wanna take this outside bro???? you wanna watch the stars with me bro????? confess our feelings under the moon bro?????

the “softboy” aesthetic isn’t inherently infantilizing, the infantilization comes from how other people treat those who use the aesthetic or apply it to people who don’t. It’s okay to not like the softboy aesthetic, it’s okay to feel uncomfortable with using it, it’s okay to remind people not to apply the term to people (especially trans people) without confirmation that they’re comfortable with it

however, the fact that Every Single Time someone complains about the term it’s “uwu softboi ittle wittle babies that are okay with infantilizing themselves” is actually, infantilizing people who use the softboy aesthetic because you don’t like it. the constant mocking and othering of the term has made it actively uncomfortable for me to use it, which is rather Unfortunate considering I was drawn to the term because it helped me feel confident in presenting the way that I wanted to while easing my social dysphoria. it’s comforting to me, a 5′3 gnc trans masc person, to be told that I’m Allowed to not be traditionally masculine. it’s comforting for my dysphoria to embrace my presentation as not undercutting my identity. it’s then, of course, Very Uncomfortable for people to constantly pick at the term and the people who used it. 

what it comes down to is treating people like they’re infantile because they happen to be feminine, which is particularly gross in trans spaces. I absolutely understand that trans men deserve the space to be unapologetically masculine, everyone Deserves to present and be treated in a way that they feel comfortable, but I Really wish the expression of this didn’t come at the expense of people who aren’t. 

it doesnt matter what all of the intricacies of your identity are, if lesbian resonates with you, if lesbianism is where you find your home, your a lesbian through and through. you can have the most complex, confusing, or even "contradicting" gender and/or orientation, and youre still just as valid as any other lesbian! you dont need to worry about how others perceive you, or how others try to define words for the whole community, because they dont have an actual say in how you can identify or how anyone can use a word (bc words arent static and dont mean just one thing all the time and everywhere).

all queer labels can be open and fluid! all of them are available to the messy, complex existences so many of us fall into! just because we dont fall into cookie cutter molds that society wants of us, doesnt mean we dont exist, that we have to force ourselves to fit them- we deserve to exist in our own way and be our incredible, unique selves 💖

heres to every lesbian with complex identities, i love you and im here for you! 🌙🌙🌸

oh my god will it fucking kill you to say “they”