If You Were Mine

Do Kyungsoo x Reader (afab) (she/her)

A/N: So I wrote a D.O. fic, first time posting on Tumblr because I don't totally hate this story. I apologize for it being so long, I don't know how to use the 'keep reading' option on my phone. Also, all of this is clearly fictional.

Genre: Angst. Hanahaki disease

Warnings: Major character death. Sehun says some bad words. MDNI

“Sure thing, I’ll let her know you called,” Sehun promised, unaware that you had just come through the apartment door. You quietly set up Vivi’s leash so as to not disturb Sehun’s phone call. You had a rough idea what the phone call was about, but you really wanted to sneak past and into your room.

All you wanted lately was to be alone. You weren't yourself and you knew that, this was something you had to deal with yourself. No meddling roommate and best friend would be able to help.

“Don’t you dare try to run away.” Sehun could be intimidating when the time called for it. As much as you wanted to be alone, you couldn't take Sehun's consistent pestering.

"I just got off the phone with Kyungsoo, what the hell is going on with you two?"

There was only so much you were willing to share with Sehun. You and Kyungsoo had recently started growing apart; you weren't seeing each other as much, the phone calls and text messages had started to die down. The intimacy had become next to nothing once you started to get sick. In Sehun's eyes you were pushing Kyungsoo away without a valid reason and he was only trying to help.

Kyungsoo was amazing; he was extremely intelligent, hard working and hilarious. He was also an amazing cook, and as someone who lacked the basic ability to cook even the simplest dishes, it was something that you looked for in a partner, it was non negotiable. Kyungsoo was your number one fan; he was always there to support your dreams, he was there to pick up the pieces when you failed your law class exam and encouraged you to try again. Kyungsoo felt less like a boyfriend and more like a partner, someone you were meant to conquer life with. You couldn't wait to spend the rest of your life with him. There was no doubt in your mind that Kyungsoo would be an amazing husband and father when the time came….if it came.

Sehun really tried to compose himself, he really cared for you and the friendship you two had together. The friendship he had with Kyungsoo also meant the world to him.

"Okay, listen. I don't know what's going on with you because you never speak to me anymore. Or even the man you always claim is your soulmate for that matter. But it needs to stop. If you took ten fucking minutes out of your day to even speak to Kyungsoo you would realize he is also sick!"

"I cant-" "-I can't see him." Your heart began to race, you could feel it pulsate in your chest. Your throat had begun to feel hoarse, there was a lingering taste of copper on your tongue. You were going to be sick and Sehun would be there to witness it.

"You're being extremely selfish and entitled. You can't just push people away."

You took off before Sehun could say anymore. Although there wasn't much more he could say. Deep down you knew he was right, which had only made the pain worse. You claimed to love Kyungsoo, you would swear on your life. Any sane person would fall in love with him in a heartbeat and it made you sick to know that maybe you weren't the one to love him. But you wanted to. You loved him, past, present and future. You would do it a thousand times over.

Jongdae held Kyungsoo as he cried for you and your relationship. Kyungsoo missed you and wanted nothing more than to be with you and hold you. He knew though, he knew when he became sick and his throat would become irritated with the thorns that decorated your birth flower that you weren't his. He wouldn't be able to hold you, kiss you, carry on with the life plans like you two had decided on. You were no longer his to love. It was slowly killing him to know you were in love with someone else. He wanted nothing more than to see you one last time before he couldn't see you any longer.

"Kyungsoo, I'll take you to her. She might change her mind. Maybe once she sees you in person she'll listen to you-" Jongdae cleared his throat, unsure if he even wanted to finish that sentence. "Before it's too late."

Kyungsoo didn't want to say goodbye. He didn't feel like he had the strength to carry himself to get to you, to form the words. There was so much he wanted to say to you. There was so much the two of you wanted to do. There wasn't enough time to accomplish those things, there wasn't enough time to say goodbye.

It felt insignificant but Kyungsoo grabbed some lozenges on the way out. At this point he wasn't sure if it was to ease the pain from the coughing and the scratching from the thorns of the flowers or if it was to ease his throat to be able to form coherent sentences.

Sehun was ready to admit defeat with you, he couldn't help you if you weren't going to help yourself. He was aware that Jongdae was on his way with Kyungsoo and busied himself with the task of making tea. He knew he had been too hard on you, and a warm cup of tea had always been an offer of peace in your shared apartment.

The knock on the apartment door seemed to ease Sehun's mind. There was finally someone else to talk some sense into you. Sehun gladly let his two friends into the apartment, there wasn't time to exchange pleasantries, Kyungsoo took off to find you.

Sehun grabbed Jongdae's arm to hold him from going further. You and Kyungsoo really didn't need someone else getting involved. Whatever was going on you two had to work out amongst yourselves.

"Jongdae, do you have any idea what's going on? I haven't been able to get a proper sentence out of her for days."

"I assume you know about the flower disease?" Sehun nodded in confirmation. The current moment didn't seem like the time to interrupt, but he knew he would have so many questions later. "Well you see, you cough up your soulmate's birth flower. Which is exactly what Kyungsoo has been doing. He has been coughing up her birth flower….but he's not getting better. He's actually getting sicker. More petals, I've seen him cough up whole flowers. He's in so much pain, Sehun. He's coughing up so much blood. I'm scared."

"Do you think?" Sehun couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence. The silence that swept over the two men was plenty of confirmation.

Kyungsoo was greeted with the sight of you embracing the toilet. You were running hot and the ceramic was helping to cool you down.

"Kyungsoo-" "I'm so sorry."

Kyungsoo dove to grab you up off the floor. He held you in his arms all the while you sobbed and soaked his chest with tears. Tears that were filled with love, sorrow, heartbreak and gratitude.

"Kyungsoo, I love you. I swear. I don't know why this is happening."

"Shhh. Just let me hold you."

Being held in Kyungsoo's arms has always been your favourite place to be. He was warm and comforting. Kyungsoo would gently hum your newest favourite song while you laid on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. Kyungsoo would intertwine your hands as he rubbed your back with his free one while you started to list all the things you loved about him just so you could hear his heart race.

"I've been coughing up your birth flower. It really hurts."

"I'm so sorry. I should have told you why I was sick. I didn't think you would get sick. I thought I would just handle things by myself and you would stay healthy."

Kyungsoo gently placed his hands on either side of your face. As much as you didn't want this to end you knew you had to say goodbye. The love you and Kyungsoo shared was no more. His lips against yours were the most gentle they had ever been, like one wrong move and it was over.

"Knowing you're in love with someone else almost hurts more than my throat bleeding or having to actually cough up these flowers. I'm glad you're my soulmate. I don't think I could have loved a better person. I know you love me, but you're no longer in love with me. I wish you told me how you felt."

The look in Kyungsoo's eyes was enough to make you fall in love with him all over again. He wiped the tears from your eyes like he had a thousand times before with no care of your makeup staining his white sleeve. "Your happiness is more important than a silly shirt. I don't want to see you cry" He had told you the first time.

"Do Kyungsoo. Thank you for everything. I wish I could have loved you more, I wish I could have loved you longer. I want nothing more than for you to find someone who loves you more than you think is possible. You're the one person that deserves it. I would give you the world if you asked for it. I love you Kyungsoo. I'm sorry I couldn't be that person for you."

Kyungsoo held you close as he felt your body give away. Almost as if your soul physically left your body. He lowered you both to the ground where he noticed the full flowers of Aster littering the bathroom floor.

Jongdae.

"Help!"

If You Were Mine

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