bisexual, any pronouns, disabled, white, twenties | playing dice with my small corner of the universe | reblogs from @diceystealstheinternet
63 posts
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A tree is growing
In a place it shouldn't be;
But it's beyond me.
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AKB 2020
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mandrellaeffect liked this · 1 year ago
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[Image Description: a meme which has a painting of Greek philosophers who are talking, gesturing, and carrying books on one side which is labeled "Talking about disability with disabled people", and across from that is a photo of an adult showing a toddler a toy labeled "Talking about disability with abled people." End ID/]
Rock Climbing
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Bruised knees purple like my nail varnish,
chipped and jagged like the fingers of mountains
carressing the clouds,
callouses where I grip at the rock face like it's your hand.
I hold myself up on you but my wrists ache and my arms spasm and I fall.
You are not my safety mat.
Not basecamp but heady heights.
I climb and retreat. You are unmoved.
There is no give when I crash into you.
No mitigating yourself for my presence.
I cannot live my life where you are.
The air too thin, the sights so dizzy, the light bright enough to make my eyes blink
and I have to look away.
No space for mortals in these craggy halls open under the sky.
Just the risk of exposure. No tent,
No shelter here.
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AKB 2020
hearing aids day 1 (2nd march 2022)
crunchy
loud
lots wow just so many sounds
Ss!!! so much sibilance, oof is that annoying - might develop a lisp in preemptive retaliation/ self-defence
see also: whispering really carries
i can hear my hair and i am not happy about it
scratchy staticky sounds from hair moving, jaw opening/closing, breathing
does the air make sound??? i am confused
i feel high oh my gods on earth
too much behind the ear - ow
masks are a fucking pain right now
voice sounds funny, very conscious of every sound i make - just existing creates so much noise
under water at the cinema - loud crisp too much but also aware of thing in my ear, layer between me and the world, every slightly unreal and held at a distance
spooky
disorienting
music - especially classical so far but haven't tested much - everything else stops/ disappears/takes a back seat - andres rieu ftw - it's incredible, just entrancing and all-ecompassing, holy shit
my voice may change in relation to this (avoid s sounds, lower pitch and volume, kinda drawly because i can hear myself and it slows me down, usually speak very quickly)
everything is sooooo distracting!!!! the world is happening all around me
bereft when i took them out the first time, where has the world gone? everything so dim and distant, genuinely might cry
honestly kinda high key relieved after i took them out the second time jesus wept did i need a break
very tiring but in a different way from how straining not being able to hear is tiring - just so much new stuff to process! brain making ALL the connections wowzer oh boy
did i mention crunchy? because yeah if i could pick one word that'd be it, we're going iceberg lettuce on this
CRONCH
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Fireworks in Space
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Speak pride to power:
Show truth and love and magic;
Into the void, let colour flow
Where once only lies tried to fill the vacuum.
There is no air here.
We bring our own oxygen, and enough to share.
You try to set us on fire,
We laugh and burn and fizz and dance,
We are the sparks,
You gave us fuel.
Fool.
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AKB 2019
Day 3: Bait. To reel 'em in. Another poem to go with my sketch and I'm falling for Inktober. Hook, line, and sinker.
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My heart on a hook,
Such sweet bait to catch a crook.
My soul on a string.
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AKB 2019