The Sword And The Pen - Tumblr Posts
Day 5: Build. This took me a while, I was stuck until early on Monday morning, London in rush hour - not usually the most inspirating time and place - when, walking into Trafalgar Square with the beat of the Samba band drumming at my back, I suddenly felt that things were things were finally, actually, changing.
Rebels everywhere, thank you.
/
turn up, build a band:
from that, a movement rises.
We Are The Water.
/
AKB 2019
Day 5: Build. This took me a while, I was stuck until early on Monday morning, London in rush hour - not usually the most inspirating time and place - when, walking into Trafalgar Square with the beat of the Samba band drumming at my back, I suddenly felt that things were things were finally, actually, changing.
Rebels everywhere, thank you.
/
turn up, build a band:
from that, a movement rises.
We Are The Water.
/
AKB 2019
Day 5: Build. This took me a while, I was stuck until early on Monday morning, London in rush hour - not usually the most inspirating time and place - when, walking into Trafalgar Square with the beat of the Samba band drumming at my back, I suddenly felt that things were things were finally, actually, changing.
Rebels everywhere, thank you.
/
turn up, build a band:
from that, a movement rises.
We Are The Water.
/
AKB 2019
Day 5: Build. This took me a while, I was stuck until early on Monday morning, London in rush hour - not usually the most inspirating time and place - when, walking into Trafalgar Square with the beat of the Samba band drumming at my back, I suddenly felt that things were things were finally, actually, changing.
Rebels everywhere, thank you.
/
turn up, build a band:
from that, a movement rises.
We Are The Water.
/
AKB 2019
Day 6: Husky. Getting my flu jab next week! Vaccinate yourself and your kids, people! Been out in the rain all week and haven't got sick yet so long may that luck last, but I ain't about to rely on something so fickle when the wonders of Science!™ can help me.
Also, Calpol makes me nostalgic, so, yeah...
/
Her voice husky with
Flu season and cigarettes -
Drink your medicine!
/
AKB 2019
Thoughts on coming out
/
What I thought would happen, or, what happened every other damned time I tried to tell you:
Sit in the pit of my stomach
Get stuck in the tunnel of my throat
Lodge in the chasm of my mouth
Prickle and weigh on my tongue
Press against the blockade of my teeth
And finally,
Mangled and aching,
Shredded and bleeding,
Pummeled and pulsing,
Emerge
Changed
On my lips
Like cracked skin and warm breath
As words.
The wrong fucking words.
What actually happened:
I said it, downplayed it.
You dismissed me, and kissed me.
You still want me. You don't know me.
The response too easy; now I'm waiting for it to sink in.
How the hell do I show it, own it, glow with it
When I don't feel any
Pride.
You didn't listen.
/
AKB 2019
Thoughts on coming out
/
What I thought would happen, or, what happened every other damned time I tried to tell you:
Sit in the pit of my stomach
Get stuck in the tunnel of my throat
Lodge in the chasm of my mouth
Prickle and weigh on my tongue
Press against the blockade of my teeth
And finally,
Mangled and aching,
Shredded and bleeding,
Pummeled and pulsing,
Emerge
Changed
On my lips
Like cracked skin and warm breath
As words.
The wrong fucking words.
What actually happened:
I said it, downplayed it.
You dismissed me, and kissed me.
You still want me. You don't know me.
The response too easy; now I'm waiting for it to sink in.
How the hell do I show it, own it, glow with it
When I don't feel any
Pride.
You didn't listen.
/
AKB 2019
Day 7: Enchanted. No longer sure why my brain catalogued this as Extremely Urgent To Be Written Down Immediately falling asleep a week ago but I have done as commanded by forces beyond my control in the realms of my subconscious. Perhaps I was unwittingly enchanted...
/
ENCHANTED NUMBERS
FALL INTO PLACE LIKE GRAVESTONES;
TRAGIC AND HEAVY.
/
AKB 2019
Day 7: Enchanted. No longer sure why my brain catalogued this as Extremely Urgent To Be Written Down Immediately falling asleep a week ago but I have done as commanded by forces beyond my control in the realms of my subconscious. Perhaps I was unwittingly enchanted...
/
ENCHANTED NUMBERS
FALL INTO PLACE LIKE GRAVESTONES;
TRAGIC AND HEAVY.
/
AKB 2019
Day 8: Frail. Except nah, frail has too much of weakness in it for me, so actually let's use fragile instead. Because breakable doesn't mean broken, and broken doesn't mean unfixable. Not so much a Plot Twist as a loop-the-loop going on with the haiku. And yep, it's late for Inktober! Start where you can, stories are circles.
/
HELL yeah I'm fragile.
As a fucking FREIGHT TRAIN, girl.
Made brittle by rust.
/
AKB 2019
Photo reference here:
Day 8: Frail. Except nah, frail has too much of weakness in it for me, so actually let's use fragile instead. Because breakable doesn't mean broken, and broken doesn't mean unfixable. Not so much a Plot Twist as a loop-the-loop going on with the haiku. And yep, it's late for Inktober! Start where you can, stories are circles.
/
HELL yeah I'm fragile.
As a fucking FREIGHT TRAIN, girl.
Made brittle by rust.
/
AKB 2019
Photo reference here:
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Fireworks in Space
/
Speak pride to power:
Show truth and love and magic;
Into the void, let colour flow
Where once only lies tried to fill the vacuum.
There is no air here.
We bring our own oxygen, and enough to share.
You try to set us on fire,
We laugh and burn and fizz and dance,
We are the sparks,
You gave us fuel.
Fool.
/
AKB 2019
" • "
" • "
" • "
" • "
" • "
" • "
" • "
Fireworks in Space
/
Speak pride to power:
Show truth and love and magic;
Into the void, let colour flow
Where once only lies tried to fill the vacuum.
There is no air here.
We bring our own oxygen, and enough to share.
You try to set us on fire,
We laugh and burn and fizz and dance,
We are the sparks,
You gave us fuel.
Fool.
/
AKB 2019
/
what do I do when I disappear?
instagram is empty
and the devils are here
/
AKB 2019
/
what do I do when I disappear?
instagram is empty
and the devils are here
/
AKB 2019
Words From Before
/
Women power my body:
they are neither consumed for calories
- eat their love and labour -
nor burned for fuel on pyres
- their bodies have always fueled hatred -
yet they are the force behind
every action, each choice.
/
My mitochondria: powerhouse of the cell.
We consist of cells and stars and oceans;
we subsist on truth and tales and lies.
My mother told me I have in me
my grandmothers' mitochondria
- I don't know who told her -
but she wants to believe it so I believe it too
- my mother told me so I want it to be true...
/
Being a woman is just:
[inherits mother's dreams and trauma][inherits grandmother's trauma and mitochondria][inherits great-grandmother's dreams and trauma][inherits]
...
I never research for poems or I start writing essays;
I just listen to my elders,
listen to my ancestors,
and get lost there instead.
Listen to my self and my body and the 'verse.
/
In the shower I let my body be
itself
its curves not hidden by tucks and layers,
not displayed in heels and high-waisted jeans,
not stuffed into bras
and smuggled into knickers;
I just let the water run, let my calloused hands smooth my soft body, wash and stroke away the hurts I've caused.
My hair tangles, it wants to be short.
But my body just is
as it is
as it is.
/
Powered by the mitochondria of my grandmothers
and their grandmothers
and theirs
and the 'verse.
/
AKB 2020
Words From Before
/
Women power my body:
they are neither consumed for calories
- eat their love and labour -
nor burned for fuel on pyres
- their bodies have always fueled hatred -
yet they are the force behind
every action, each choice.
/
My mitochondria: powerhouse of the cell.
We consist of cells and stars and oceans;
we subsist on truth and tales and lies.
My mother told me I have in me
my grandmothers' mitochondria
- I don't know who told her -
but she wants to believe it so I believe it too
- my mother told me so I want it to be true...
/
Being a woman is just:
[inherits mother's dreams and trauma][inherits grandmother's trauma and mitochondria][inherits great-grandmother's dreams and trauma][inherits]
...
I never research for poems or I start writing essays;
I just listen to my elders,
listen to my ancestors,
and get lost there instead.
Listen to my self and my body and the 'verse.
/
In the shower I let my body be
itself
its curves not hidden by tucks and layers,
not displayed in heels and high-waisted jeans,
not stuffed into bras
and smuggled into knickers;
I just let the water run, let my calloused hands smooth my soft body, wash and stroke away the hurts I've caused.
My hair tangles, it wants to be short.
But my body just is
as it is
as it is.
/
Powered by the mitochondria of my grandmothers
and their grandmothers
and theirs
and the 'verse.
/
AKB 2020
Rock Climbing
/
Bruised knees purple like my nail varnish,
chipped and jagged like the fingers of mountains
carressing the clouds,
callouses where I grip at the rock face like it's your hand.
I hold myself up on you but my wrists ache and my arms spasm and I fall.
You are not my safety mat.
Not basecamp but heady heights.
I climb and retreat. You are unmoved.
There is no give when I crash into you.
No mitigating yourself for my presence.
I cannot live my life where you are.
The air too thin, the sights so dizzy, the light bright enough to make my eyes blink
and I have to look away.
No space for mortals in these craggy halls open under the sky.
Just the risk of exposure. No tent,
No shelter here.
/
AKB 2020
Rock Climbing
/
Bruised knees purple like my nail varnish,
chipped and jagged like the fingers of mountains
carressing the clouds,
callouses where I grip at the rock face like it's your hand.
I hold myself up on you but my wrists ache and my arms spasm and I fall.
You are not my safety mat.
Not basecamp but heady heights.
I climb and retreat. You are unmoved.
There is no give when I crash into you.
No mitigating yourself for my presence.
I cannot live my life where you are.
The air too thin, the sights so dizzy, the light bright enough to make my eyes blink
and I have to look away.
No space for mortals in these craggy halls open under the sky.
Just the risk of exposure. No tent,
No shelter here.
/
AKB 2020
/
A tree is growing
In a place it shouldn't be;
But it's beyond me.
/
AKB 2020