I Was Bullied Too, So Why Didnt I Turn Out Like Severus Snape?

I Was Bullied Too, So Why Didn’t I Turn Out Like Severus Snape?

I came across an anti-Snape post where someone shared their experience of being bullied in school. They said that even though they were bullied, they were able to overcome it, which is why they admired James Potter—because he changed and stopped being a bully. However, they hate Snape for not being able to move on from his past.

Everyone has the right to hate or love the characters based on their taste but What bothers me is how people often compare their own trauma to others' and disregard the genetic and environmental differences that shape us as individuals. I’ve decided to write a long post comparing my own life with Snape’s—two people who were both bullied as children. it was difficult for me to write this post, but I hope this comparison shows that not everyone who experiences bullying ends up the same. The variances in our upbringing and support systems play a crucial role in shaping who we become.

When I was seven years old, I was mocked and humiliated by a group of older girls on the school bus (they were eleven at the time). They made it clear that they bullied me because I was smaller and weaker than them. They treated me in a way that made me believe I deserved their bullying. I thought a weak and ugly girl like me was deserving of all their humiliation. They would mess up my hair, pull it, and ridicule me for having messy and ugly hair. Whenever I cried, they laughed. They didn't even let me be friends with other girls. To torment me further, they would point at me, whisper to each other, and giggle, making me feel even more isolated. I had allergies and a runny nose, and they wouldn’t let me wipe it, which they used as another reason to belittle me, saying I was disgusting. Even if there was an empty seat, they wouldn’t let me sit with them because I was "gross." I was terrified of them, hated school because of them, and cried every morning, begging not to go to school.

But why didn’t I turn out like Severus Snape?

1- I grew up like a normal child in every other aspect of my life. I was cared for and valued. I always had birthday parties with cake and gifts. I was praised when I got good grades. I had friends outside of school to play with, went on family vacations, and had fun times. From childhood to adulthood, I’ve had a safe home, enough sleep, good food, and a loving family.

2- I had parents who loved and cared about me. When my mother found out about the bullying, she went to the school and demanded they stop it. My parents also enrolled me in a private school to protect me from further bullying. When I started having nightmares and trouble sleeping, they took me to a child therapist.

3- My grandparents adored me. I would stay at their house when my parents were at work, and they made my childhood even more joyful. I always had safe arms to run to. Plus, my aunts and uncles cared for me and regularly took me to parks and other fun places, showering me with gifts and making sure I enjoyed my time.

4- My family had a respectable place in society, and I was never shamed or humiliated because of my family's circumstances. My father cared for me, my sister, and my mother, and he worked hard to provide for our needs. He respected my mother, and I never witnessed any abuse from him toward her.

5- My family had a stable income, and I always had new, appropriate clothes to wear. I never had to worry about poverty, hunger, or wearing hand-me-downs that would make me feel inferior to my peers.

6- My bullies mocked me, but they never caused me serious physical harm. I never feared for my life or sexual assault at school. The bullying was short-lived, lasting less than two years, and by the time I was a teenager, it had completely stopped. As I grew older, I made plenty of good friends and was popular among them. I have many fond memories from high school with my friends.

7- As a teenager, I didn’t worry about my future. My concerns were not about surviving a war, avoiding humiliation, or escaping poverty. I was free to plan my life, knowing I would go to university and study what I loved. Whenever I needed help, I knew I could count on my family—they were always there to support me.

8- I’m a psychology student, and studying this field has completely shifted my perspective on myself and others. It has allowed me to see the world with greater depth and empathy. I’ve become better at recognizing not only my own psychological wounds but also those of others, which has helped me connect with people on a deeper level. I've also sought therapy, both in-person and online, and have seen positive results. While I still struggle with some issues from my past—like feeling insecure about my appearance, doubting people’s motives, and having a hard time trusting—I’ve learned how to manage these feelings fairly well.

All of these factors combined have shaped me into someone different from Severus Snape. Yes, I was bullied, but I didn’t turn out like him because, unlike Snape, I was given numerous opportunities to grow, to experience love and joy, to heal, and to find pleasure in life.

Now, It’s much easier for someone like me to be kind and nice to others, to love people, to forgive myself and others, and to move on from those who don’t like me. It’s easier for me to see the world and people not as threats but with a more mature and balanced perspective. but I’m under no illusion that I am a better and more worthy person than Severus Snape or anyone like him who didn’t have the chance to heal. I simply know that I’ve been luckier, and for that, I’m grateful. But I never want to dismiss or belittle the suffering of others or blame them for their psychological struggles.

I can’t say for certain what I would’ve done in Snape’s exact situation or how bitter I might’ve become. But I’m certain of one thing: I could never be as brave or as selfless as Snape was, sacrificing his own life so readily for others. I know that I could never be a hero like him.

Marauders fandom logic when it comes to the werewolf prank is this: even if Snape had been killed, you couldn’t blame Sirius because he didn’t force Snape to go to the Shrieking Shack. It was Snape who wanted to stalk the Marauders and find out their secret It was his own fault...

If we’re going to blame Snape for following the Marauders and say he "deserved" to be killed by the werewolf prank because he was too suspicious, then shouldn’t Harry Potter also "deserve" to be killed by Malfoy’s curses in bathroom?

Or maybe Harry deserved the bullying and the worst things because he used his invisibility cloak to stalk Malfoy at Slughorn's party, trying to spy on him and eavesdrop secretly.

After all, Harry is the one who followed Malfoy, got suspicious, and tried to uncover what he was doing, right?

How can we justify praising Harry’s curiosity and bravery while condemning Snape for doing the exact same thing? The double standard is disgusting.

Just a reminder: Snape was a year younger than Harry during the werewolf prank.

Eyes That Held the Truth:

The green eyes found the black, but after a second, something in the depths of the dark pair seemed to vanish, leaving them fixed, blank, and empty. The hand holding Harry thudded to the floor, and Snape moved no more.

I hadn’t revisited Snape’s death scene in the book for a long time, but recently, I stumbled upon the lines describing his final moments in a post, and something struck me something I had never noticed before: Snape dies with his eyes open.

Given how central his eyes have always been in shaping our perception of him, I began to wonder if there was a deeper meaning behind this detail. Could his open eyes in death carry a message of their own? Here are a few thoughts that came to me:

1. A Search for Redemption:

The fact that Snape dies with his eyes still open might suggest that, even in his final breath, he was still searching — for redemption, for forgiveness. He spent his entire life trying to atone for past mistakes, but he never truly found that closure. He never heard Harry forgive him, and his sacrifices went largely unnoticed. His open eyes could be a sign that he dies with some things left unfinished, especially when it comes to being at peace with himself.

2. The Eyes as a Mirror to the Soul:

We’ve all heard the saying that “the eyes are the window to the soul,” and in Snape’s case, this feels especially true. In life, his eyes were filled with depth and secrets, but in the moment of his death, they become “blank and empty.” It’s as though everything that made Snape who he was the pain, the complexity, the hidden truths — vanished in an instant. His soul, once so guarded, has left, and all that’s left behind is a body, an empty vessel.

3. Unfinished Love:

Snape’s final moments, staring into Harry’s green eyes, feel like a tragic symbol of his undying love for Lily. Those green eyes — the very ones Harry inherited from his mother are the last thing Snape sees. It’s as if he’s holding onto that connection, even in death, unable to “close” the chapter of his life that revolved around her. His eyes remaining open suggests that, emotionally, he never found closure. Even in death, his heart still longs for her.

4. Harry’s Role in Snape’s Life:

It’s significant that Snape dies looking at Harry. Harry represents so many things for Snape — both his deepest pain, as the son of James, and his chance at redemption, as the child of Lily. In many ways, Harry is the center of Snape’s story. His open eyes, fixed on Harry, reflect the complicated emotions Snape felt toward him. Even in death, Snape is still connected to Harry, unable to fully let go of all the feelings he carried for him. He remains fixated on Harry even after death, just as his eyes had been for the past 19 years, always watching over him, always saving him.

5. A Final Moment of Truth:

Throughout his life, Snape was a master of concealment, always hiding his true emotions, always playing his cards close to his chest. But in death, with his eyes wide open, there is no more hiding, there’s no more control. His eyes are wide open, leaving him vulnerable and exposed. his final act stripped of all the secrecy and control he held onto so tightly. His open eyes are like the truth revealed at last — nothing left to conceal, nothing left to protect. It’s a moment of raw honesty, where his story can finally be understood.

Greasy or Oiled? A Translation Twist

When I first read the Harry Potter books in my native language, I had no idea that Snape’s hair was being used as a way to mock and belittle him. Quite the opposite, I actually thought he was someone who cared about his hairstyle and aesthetic appearance and was trying to keep up with 1990s trends! like these:

In the English version of the books, Severus Snape's hair is famously described as "greasy," giving off a certain image of neglect and uncleanliness. However, in the translation to my native language, his hair is described as "روغن زده" (oiled) instead.

This is the Persian translation of the book Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Well, I’m not sure what the exact equivalent of "روغن زده" (oiled) would be in English, but in my language, this adjective is used when someone applies special oils to their hair for styling and beauty purposes.

This subtle shift in wording changes the way we perceive Snape's appearance. While "greasy" makes you think of someone who doesn't take care of themselves, "oiled" feels more intentional, like Snape might have styled his hair that way on purpose. It’s almost as if Snape would wake up every morning, take a refreshing shower before classes, then sit down in front of a mirror in the dungeons to start his precise and delicate oiling ritual, carefully styling his hair to perfection.

Maybe Snape really was indulging in a bit of hair oil therapy or just trying to keep his locks in line with the trends of the time. But, of course, Harry’s biased perspective ruined any chance of appreciating the poor man’s grooming efforts. Who’s to say?

As I read this text, the song Forever Young by Alphaville started playing in my mind as if every word echoed the melody. It felt like Snape’s life: frozen in the past, forever young, yet never free.

He carried the weight of lost dreams, never allowed to become the man he could have been. He was always a boy trapped in the shadows of the past.

Something about Snape, 31-38, with pure black hair, not a single sign of white, despite that being the age most people start going grey

Something about how he had the full dark hair of youth and died like that

Something about how he never truly grew up like he should have

Something about how he was always stuck there in the past, stuck as that Snape boy from Spinner's End, stuck as Snivellus the boy who the Marauders hated for just existing

Something about how he died there in the same place he nearly died as a boy

Something about how he died in that place, bloodied and wounded, raven black hair, no difference between him and his boyhood self

Something about how that black hair was perhaps a sign that he was still living in the past, that a piece of him was eternally frozen at 21, at 16, at 15, he died a man yet he wasn't one, he wasn't a boy but not quite a man

Something about how his portrait among all the other heads of Hogwarts is the only one whose hair is fully dark, whose face isn't lined with age.

Next to them, he is a boy. Perhaps he always was.

forever grieving the life i couldve had- the person i couldve been- had it all never happened to me