Diss0nance - [always Interconnected]

you actually don't have to go on dating apps to find girlfriends. many beautiful women are waiting for you on rocks out at sea

i like ford because he is strange and off putting

everything becomes alright

it’s dark in my home today.

i can tell because i can’t see

that usual beautiful feeling i get

when i wake up and remember i’m human.

what’s the matter? my friend asks me.

i look up from the darkness.

the fog in my brain makes it hard to think.

i can’t see who’s talking to me

i can’t even see my hands or my heart.

but i hear the care in their voice.

nothing. i say. just feeling a little down.

my friend sits next to me. my friend holds my hand.

that beautiful feeling is back. i can see my hands again.

still clasped firmly around theirs, as though they were my lifeline.

and i can see my heart again, beating in sync with the world.

the sun has come up in my heart, bringing light to my home.

all of a sudden, everything becomes alright

i feel at home when i’m laughing with my sister

her voice rings out like a doorbell to my heart.

and although it is dark and cold,

and i want nothing more than to lay down

i open the door and let her inside.

she looks around my barren heart,

at the shadows cast on the floor

at the way she can see her breath in the air

and decides that i can’t live like this.

every game we play throws another log of wood in the fire

feeding my cold heart, until my body is warm enough

to survive the winter this year.

she dances me around the floors,

each step we take mends another floorboard.

i’ll see you later. my sister says when she’s done.

ever grateful, i smile and wave. see you.

the door to my heart closes again

but all of a sudden, everything becomes alright

i haven’t seen my brother in over a month

he’s in his first year of college

states away from me

and even though we’re not the same

two different kinds of perfect

i smile whenever i see him

i miss you, be good. he told me on the phone.

i nod, and i make sure he sees it.

i love you, i miss you. i tell him.

i love you too. he says back.

those words are the breeze

that wafts through my home’s window

it pushes my record player just enough

to keep the music playing.

and all of a sudden, everything becomes alright

there are times where my home in my heart

begins to crumble.

when the pretty colored walls peel back

it stops being a home

and becomes just a house.

and when that happens

my father helps me off the crumbled floor

and repaints the walls

and relights the fire

and fixes the one crooked painting

that always bothered me

for a reason that not even i knew

learn to let me help you. he scolds. you act like me sometimes.

i guess we’re both stubborn like that. i laugh.

and he laughs too, because he knows i get it from him.

all of a sudden, everything becomes alright

on our way home from school, my mother

rubbed my cheek with her thumb

i’m proud of you, sweetheart. she says.

not knowing what else to say, i nod and whisper,

thanks, mom. she keeps her hand on the steering wheel.

she doesn’t look my way, and i don’t either.

i can’t see her face in the glare of the sun

but i know we are both smiling.

and even though we aren’t home yet,

i feel that we’re already there

existing beside each other.

and no matter how tough my day has been

when i can’t even see the light,

as long as she’s there

to remind me she cares

all of a sudden

everything becomes alright

every i love you is special

even the ones left unsaid

especially the ones left unsaid.

i love you. whispers my bed

which my mother made for me

because i forgot to.

i love you. whispers my cellphone

in my ear as i talk with my brother.

i love you. whispers the bear on my shelf

a gift from a friend i barely see anymore.

i love you. whispers my heart

a chorus of all the people it holds dear in me.

and as i notice these i love yous

hidden as they may be.

everything becomes alright

all too suddenly.