This Was Such A Terrible Idea. If He Spent Any More Time Than Necessary With Lucifer, The Guy Was Definitely

This was such a terrible idea. If he spent any more time than necessary with Lucifer, the guy was definitely going to catch on that Blitzo was a loser. He'd smite him, or end him, whatever Lucifer did when he handled things personally--but, fucking heaven, Blitzo didn't care. This was Lucifer. He was still not over that, and not over the fact that they were still talking. He hadn't just gotten a pat on the head, a smile, and some sort of canned repartee. Lucifer was talking to him.

"Uh, nope. Nowhere else to go," he said quickly, and took a small step closer. "And I like weapons. Shit, I kill people all the times. Weapons are great. Fancy weapons, basic weapons, improvised weapons, you know. You want me to kill babies? I'll kill babies. I'm a mercenary. It's my way of life!"

Why the fuck those words came out of his mouth, Blitz didn't know. But he did instantly regret it. He laughed awkwardly, shrugged, and said, "Uh, anyway! So you make trinkets and stuff? Creation, huh? You wanna show me? Cause I'd love to see. So how about you and I," he offered Lucifer his arm--what the fuck was he doing, offering Lucifer his arm??!--with a smile, "take a walk to your laboratory. Workshop. Whatever you call it, I'd love to see it."

This entire moment they were having wasn't what he expected but was having one hell of a time. Blitzo was a breath of fresh air in the deep pit of hell, it was nice to find comradery that wasn't from being afraid of him.

Lucifer's eyes had a slight sparkle in them when he saw the small horse figure, that was not expected but an amazing surprise in his mind. "Okay so I might be obsessed with trinkets like that, if you'd like I could show you some of the other prototypes, I do have non weaponized ones too so you might find something else you'd like for a trade." Lucifer was trying to be nonchalant, nervously rubbing the back of his neck thankful they seemed to be the only two around still. Not that he would mind them being seen together he just wouldn't want his new friend to be "scared" away.

Okay so he did have some ulterior motives but none that bad but he did love to create things from the likeness of his friends.

"Or if you have somewhere else to go I could join on the walk with you." Lucifer back peddles just in case that was way too quick and he was just being a bit of weirdo again.

"Oh, I definitely could take you," Blitzo snorted, confident in that at least. "I might be a little drunk, but whoever you are, I'm definitely still sober enough to make you regret sinning." He pushed his empty glass aside--ugh, that shit really was awful--and eyed the sticky residue left behind with disgusted doubt, but then turned his attention back to the sinner.

For whatever unholy reason, this jackass seemed like he didn't want to take advantage of Blitzo's intoxicated invitation, which was disappointingly decent of him. Decent people in Hell were few and far between, and they always made Blitzo feel a little more disappointed with himself. So, frowning, he folded his arms and leaned back. "We can go find out. Kick each other's asses til neither of us can walk home. What's uh, your deal though? I mean you're obviously a sinner, so I assume you're some kind of trash. In which case, welcome to the fucking club. Trash, not sinners, I'm obviously not--anyway. I'm Blitzo. The O is silent." He offered his hand across the table.

"What the fuck, dude."

Adam had dealt with some pretty crass interactions between himself and Lute, and of course coming down to Hell had made it more frequent. But Blitzo talking a mile a minute barely gave Adam time to register what was being spouted at him.

It did make him reconsider his drink, sliding it to the side to abandon.

"First of all, I'm not gonna fuck you, gross." A drunk imp who was clearly not alright in the head was not his idea of a fun time, even in his more sadistic moments. "Second of all, do you really think you could l take my ass in a fight??"

Honestly, Adam wasn't against the fighting bit, but it would be kinda lame to have the dude pass the fuck out before he could even get a proper hit on him.

.... Would make taking his wallet easier though.

"Be myself. Right. I don't know if you've noticed, Fizz, but myself? Kind of sucks." Blitz sighed and ran a hand over one of his horns, then shoved both hands into his pockets instead, not wanting to look so insecure.

"Thanks, though. I mean it. You're a good friend, and this talk... it means a lot. But hey, enough about my mopey bullshit." He would probably spontaneously combust if they stayed focused on his emotions anymore, so why not turn the focus onto Fizz? "What comes next for you and Ozzy? Like--you two already live together, right? You going to get married? Adopt a kid? All of... all of that?" Blitzo searched his sweet friend's precious face. "Cause I uh, I could see you two being pretty good parents. Loving. Really loving. Some lucky kid whose parents are gone.. they'd be winning the jackpot to get you two."

It's not like Fizz didn't want to be part of the conversation. It's just he hasn't been part of anything this messy in a long time. If anything Fizz really wanted to work things out with Blitz, for all times sake. For all the lost time sake. They did manage to talk a little bit back at the warehouse while dodging all the bad guys but there was still so much left to be said. But it gave a foundation for them to talk and start building everything up again.

Fizz was listening when Blitz finally spoke up, fixing his gaze at the other imp. The words hurt, Fizz could feel them slashing him internally. The think of Blitz even thinking he wouldn't deserve to be in Fizz's life was ridiculous. Not that he wasn't proud of being the most well known person in all across Hell, but he was still a humble imp who didn't think so all mighty of himself. Slowly he unwrapped his tail wile looking at Blitz with sad and concerned expression on his face. He took few steps closer.

"I have no idea where's you even come up with all that. If it was for me you'd have been in my life the whole time. Like I get you, the feeling is mutual. You were the only person who actually cared about me and having you in my life was the best thing ever!" Fizz wanted to just charge at Blitz and hug him. But he fought back for now. "We all fuck up, this is hell. If anyone is living a life without fucking something up they shouldn't be here. But we already talked about this. It was an accident, you didn't do it on purpose. Can you please, please just cut yourself some slack there. I'm not mad at you for what happened, and never will be again" yes he had been carrying the grudge for vain for the past 15 years. He knew Blitz didn't do it on purpose. The people who kept them apart were the ones on Fizz's list of anger. They'll get what they deserve.

"You are already doing it, Blitz. Just talking to me about this issue. Wanting to get things clear between us... I say you are up for a good start" there was a reassuring smile on Fizz's face as he slowly reached out to place hand on Blitz's shoulder. "I don't know why have you been hiding from your friends tho, is there any reasons for that?"

And then Oz was brought up and Fizz was visibly more shy about it. "Well you know, things tend to just happen. I didn't care about him for the first time we met, thanks to Mammon. He became a business partner and slowly I started seeing him in a different way and-.. you know, here we are. You really can't plan these things. Don't really know if I was helping you out with this matter" Fizz scratched his upper arm in awkward manner as he looked at Blitz. A small smile found it's way on the jesters face.

"Just be yourself, okay? I myself like you better this way" not that Fizz didn't like the sassy and smug side of Blitz, oh no he did quite enjoy Blitz all the way he wanted to act. But seeing him opening up with a difficult subject like this, it just warmed the jesters little heart.

Rewatched 'Western Energy' and I was thinking Blitz sure would have left in that same van they rushed Stolas to the hospital in, huh?

Oh shit, they really fucked his friend up. Blitzo took in Fizz's injuries, already trying to figure out how to fix them, how to help him, despite being chained up and battered himself. Who knew why the fuck he was here, but Fizz? Looking at how roughed up the former clown was, Blitzo was willing to bet this was something fucking personal. Someone had beef with Fizzie and really, really took it out on him. Blitzo scooted closer too, and sent his tail wrapping up around Fizz as reassuringly as he could. "Here, wipe your forehead on my shoulder so all that blood doesn't get in your eye," he said, trying to sound calm, trying not to fucking worry. Why? Why Fizzie? This bastard never did anything wrong to anyone, so why was he here? Blitzo was going to absolutely destroy whoever had done this to him. There was exactly one pure love in Hell, and that belonged to Fizzarolli and Asmodeus.

"Whatever sick sons of bitches did this, Fizz, we're gonna fuck 'em up. Are you okay? How--how bad does it all hurt? Where does it all hurt?"

He can hardly feel Blitz’s attempts in waking him up before a particular nudge has the imp groaning as he slowly comes to his senses. Everything is pounding and sore, he didn’t do anything that would lead to him feeling like that. Slowly opening his eyes he squints slightly as he tries to take in his surroundings, he was just walking his girls where the hell even was he?! Nose scrunching he takes in that familiar scent as He senses Blitz near by. He hears his voice ringing in his ears too. His head hurts too much to really concentrate right now.

Slowly rolling over onto his back he looks down seeing his arms and legs were taped up. Not again. He sighs before slowly sitting up. Bells jingling as he feels his head spinning.

“Blitz?” He mutters looking to him. It’s hard to keep his eyes open, probably because of the cut that’s bleeding on his head. Seems they were a bit more rough with the jester than Blitz.

“Where are we?” He blinks making a face as the blood rolls down close to his eye. He already misses Oz, he wants to go home. He can’t help but scoot closer to the other imo, his tail wrapping around him out of habit. All while leaning on him slightly just to be close to someone familiar.

Blitzo had to actually fight a laugh on that one, absolutely grinning. "You know me too well, Mox. Just don't go telling any of the clients, huh? Humans are dumb little pissy bitches, but animals? Nothing wrong with them."

Right as he stopped speaking, they could hear a car driving past with two loud, angry Americans yelling at each other about something that sounded shitty and transphobic. Blitzo rolled his eyes and resisted the urge to reach for his gun. They'd already killed their mark, all they had to do was wait. Law enforcement was gone, Loona would open the portal any time now--any time now, right?--and they'd go home and this would all be over.

Still, since Moxxie had confided in him about the spiders, and he had to do something to pass the time, Blitzo got up. He thoroughly checked over a bucket, inside and out and under the lip, to make sure there weren't any spiders, then carefully cleared out one corner, brushing away any debris, making sure there was nowhere for a spider to easily creep up on Moxxie, before setting the bucket upside down for him to sit on. "I'll keep an eye on you," he promised.

And he did. If any spiders wandered towards Mox, Blitzo shooed them away. It was something to do, totally not because he cared or anything.

But as the hours passed, he started getting more grumbly. What the fuck was taking so long? It was getting dark out there, at least, so they could escape soon. But it was also getting windy. Really fuckin' windy. Hot, dry, windy, up in a pine forest. It didn't occur to Blitzo at all what might happen--not until something changed subtly about a smokey smell on the air. He'd been assuming it was campfires, but the smell of the smoke started to get a little dirtier almost. Frowning, he raised an eyebrow at Moxxie and nodded to the shed door, then let himself out.

He didn't see anything at first, but when he walked out farther...

"Holy shit, Moxxie..." Blitzo's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. The humans had gone to bed, all throughout the camp they were quiet, tucked away in their RVs and their cabins, but the forest hadn't. Sometime during the day, there must have been a spark somewhere out in that forest. Because now?

There were flames.

Not roaring. Not yet. But fire was stretching out all across the mountains. It had already cut off the road down below the camp--the only road--and it seemed to be reaching up. Crawling up the mountains, coming up towards them. Whenever the wind surged, the flames blazed hotter, moved faster. The fire wouldn't hurt them...

Blitzo's tail drooped to the ground as he just stared at this massive conflagration, stretching out all around them. A disaster in the making.

"Moxxie... What the fuck is this...?"

Moxxie had all but ducked low to the ground to paste himself as far away from the spider as possible but still not abandon Blitzo there with a terrible, poisonous monster of his nightmares. So when Blitzo’s reaction was so calm– gentle even– Moxxie could only watch in wonder for a moment, half lying on his side, curled up, blinking. But as he pulled himself up and resumed a less ‘irregular’ imp posture and watched, the stunned expression tipped into a smile at seeing Blitzo react so gently to an animal most people would have squished without a second thought. 

It took him a second to catch his breath but he had his wits back about him again. 

“...they creep me out…” he huffed, a noise like a baby goat trying to sound tough.

And then at Blitzo’s jab rolled his eyes. He wasn’t sure what was more annoying, that Blitzo seemed to think the notion would annoy Moxxie or that it was treated like a revelation. Outside of work, had they been friends without a business running together, he might have asked Blitzo why that would be such a surprise. But it was work and such a thing was meant to get under his skin, and he knew it–

“Oh yeah, well–” he thought but it only took a minute to retort, “I spy with my little eye an imp who has a soft spot for animals. Would probably even save a kitten from a tree when nobody was looking.”