To Be Fair, Most Goetia Don't Seem To Have Much Experience With Dating. Most Of Them Had Their Marriages

To be fair, most Goetia don't seem to have much experience with dating. Most of them had their marriages arranged when they were kids.

"You know what? You're right," Blitz agreed, before knocking back the rest of his drink and hopping down off the karaoke stage. It was hot and sticky in the bar that night, the air heavy with smoke, the scents of dozens of different kinds of booze, and way too many demonic pheromones. He was absolutely loving it, having an incredible time, but not so much that he couldn't take things seriously.

Blitz slipped out of his leather jacket--fuck, he loved the way the chrome rings on it felt when they rasped along his spines--and hung it over the back of his barstool, then caught the bartender's eye to order another. With that done, he looked back at this rando, considering if he really wanted to get into a talk with him... but sure, fuck it, why not? It wasn't like anything about him and Stolas was private anymore. After Ozzie's, they'd been pretty well known, but after Verosika's? Everyone knew everything, it seemed like, and it was fucking refreshing to run into someone who wasn't tearing him down or insulting Stolas.

"It's not fucking fair, judging Stolas--or Stella--by the standards of people who actually got to choose, who had the chance to develop our own fucked up social skills, but social skills all the same. Stolas was fucking neglected when he was young, and yeah, Paimon can kiss my little red hole and beg me to let him shove his sad little magic marker up there, fuck him for not seeing how fucking great his son was going to be and like, really having his fucking back. But yeah. Yeah. Having your whole life arranged for you, being told you're just like, born to serve but never to choose, powerful but only taught to use the power for cruel whims, never to like, you know, fucking indulge in any of the sparks of fucking altruism or whatever that they might have--cause they do. They do." He was tipsy and he knew it--or maybe drunk--but Blitz felt so damn passionately about this, he didn't want to hush. "Stolas is a good man with a good fucking heart. And I broke it. And he deserved better. He. Deserved. Better. And it's not his fault he's fucking awkward at shit sometimes. He's still the best. The--fuck. The one. And I love him. And fuck anyone who thinks they can drag him in front of me. I will... oh, thanks." He nodded to the bartender, then took a sip of his new drink. "I will fucking fight for him."

^curses you with 2.3 terabytes of Stolitz mpreg fanfiction^

[text from Millie] hey Blitz! you ok?? sorry about the goat thing! made you a get-well basket. figurin' it's purty traumatic bein dressed like the chalupa cobra. it alrite to head over and give it to ya? <3 Mils

>>HAY GURL

>>yeh im GUD i gave 1 a stikker, BEST GOAT EVAR

>>i fuckin LOVE goats now

>>but i meen if u still wanna giv me a baskit i'm game

>>also am making dinner so cum over hungry, i gotchu

>>btw thank you i appreshiate you

All of Blitz's texts came rapid fire, and when he finished sending them he hurried over to open the apartment door and leave it cracked. He was indeed cooking, and with the fan on he might not hear her knock. It was good to be home! Being locked up had been miserable, although he had definitely been in worse situations. Really, it wasn't until those suit fuckers showed up that--well, shit. Fuck those guys. If they were ever going to invade Hell, it would probably have to be soon, considering they knew he was a Chupa Kadoobra Cobra Chalupa now.

He got back to work on the cooking--frying up something the store claimed was chicken, but you never knew in Hell. Blitz normally went ridiculously heavy on the spice for himself on nights when Loona wouldn't be home, but since there was a chance she would come in later and since Millie was definitely coming over, he went for a more reasonable, sane level of heat in the breading.

When he heard her steps, Blitz dropped his head back to look at her, absolutely beaming. "Hey, Mills!" And as soon as he had the last piece into the oil, he washed his hands, bounded over to her, scooped her up, and hugged. "You're a sight for dumb eyes. How are you? Everything okay? You guys party while I was gone?"

for the mun, how do you feel about writing explicit smexy scenes, do you get into it?

That's the $64,000 question, isn't it? I'll put most of this under a cut.

I don't mind it. When it is relevant to the characters, like when it shows their development, or how they are setting fears or worries aside to try out trusting each other, to experience vulnerability, then it can be a lot of fun to write. I need there to be some kind of context, and usually need at least some measure of a slow-burn approach. I know some things can surprise me with how much they make me uncomfortable, so I assume it can be the same for others. I strongly prefer that we be able to chat on Discord, because usually if we're to that point when hopefully we'll both be comfortable putting the brakes on if need be, for any reason. And it's just so much easier to check in and be like, Oh hey can I have my character do X thing?? to avoid potentially god-modding.

That all being said, I'm aroace, so I don't like... get turned on by smut? Although I've written with people who do, who really love writing it and will feel physically affected, or at least have told me they have. That's totally fine with me. I won't judge you either way. I also don't need to know. For me, if I comment something like Hot! -fans self- that isn't something I mean literally, it won't have actually affected me. Someone rambled to me for like an hour once about how much writing sex scenes turned them on and it just like, left me sort of bemused. I don't get it, but it sounds sweet and I'm happy for them if they feel that way.

As for plotless smut... I can write it, but you might feel like you're pulling teeth to get me to. And really, I'll probably only write it if we have a good rapport and have written together before. Because underneath it all... I still feel bad at writing smut. I'll do it, it'll be fun, but I will be constantly doubting myself and wondering, Is that too much? How do the allos feel?? People like that, right? xD Even while writing the most graphic DDDNE stuff, I'll be overthinking it, and like sitting here arms folded, staring at the screen, trying hard to come up with what my idiot would do next.

Whoooo okay this was a longer answer than you probably wanted, I'm sorry. I hope it makes sense. This took me a shockingly long time to write.

for @botanikos's sweet Stolas, who deserves to be allowed to sleep in but unfortunately got involved with a gremlin. continued from here, because of reasons

.

"We're just going down to your kitchen, and don't worry, you're gonna love it!" Blitz declared with far, far too much confidence. Deep down, he had the sneaking suspicion that he might have maybe fucked up, and that Stolas might finally kill him... but hey, the chances were good that Stolas would actually love his present, right? So, fuck it! Hashtag Worth it!

He carried him towards the kitchen--and past all of the staff who might normally be going in and out of there. Now, they were all just standing there, some with wide eyes, some looking frustrated, one or two afraid. Their morning routine had clearly been destroyed by whatever Blitz had done--and one of them was tying the majority of Stolas's forks to himself, apparently as some sort of armor.

"I saw it," Blitz declared, "and the poor thing just seemed so stuck. It was squished up in a dumpster on Earth, and I know you're into this shit, so..." Pushing the door open, he carried Stolas through--and up face to face with an extremely large carnivorous plant. Hell had its fair share of them, of course, as did Stolas's palace--but this new plant, while very similar to some of his, wasn't from Hell. A few of his kitchen plants had edged away nervously, scooting as far away as they could get, while the 'rescue' Blitz had brought him sat proudly in the middle of the room, stretching its roots and vines.

At their entrance, the plant quickly wilted, putting on its most feeble, harmless act, just as innocent and helpless as a lamb--as innocent as it could look with one of Stolas's other plants still sticking partially out of its mouth, wiggling feebly.

Blitz set his baby down and hopped over to stand next to the hungry giant, holding his hands out like this was a prize on a game show. "Look! Ain't it great? It's like, exactly what you grow, right?"

The plant snickered under its breath.

How many chomps does it take to get to the bone of a bird?

For some reason, Blitz looks incredibly guilty when asked this. He freezes, eyes going wide, and immediately puts a paper bag behind his back.

"You mean like, a bird bird? Like a little tweety fucker from the living world? Or like, a Goetia? Because let me tell you, I've yet to even break the skin no matter how hard I bite, and he seems like, really into the pressure. Anyway, oh, wow, look at the time! I've got to, um, you know, oh look! A train!"

And he's off, racing away down the street.