There Is Nothing Which Remains Difficult If It Is Practised. So, Through Practice With Minor Discomforts,

“There is nothing which remains difficult if it is practised. So, through practice with minor discomforts, even major discomfort becomes bearable.”

— Śāntideva, Bodhicaryāvatāra, Crosby & Skilton tr. (6:14)

Bring it on, 2023. May the new year be kind to you.

—  Franz Kafka, The Metamorphosis

My dad and I once had a disagreement over him using the adage "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

I said, "That's just not true. Sometimes what doesn't kill you leaves you brittle and injured or traumatized."

He stopped and thought about that for a while. He came back later, and said, "It's like wood glue."

He pointed to my bookshelf, which he helped me salvage a while ago. He said, "Do you remember how I explained that, once we used the wood glue on them, the shelves would actually be stronger than they were before they broke?"

I did.

"But before we used the wood glue, those shelves were broken. They couldn't hold up shit. If you had put books on them, they would have collapsed. And that wood glue had to set awhile. If we put anything on them too early, they would have collapsed just the same as if we'd never fixed them at all. You've got to give these things time to set."

It sounded like a pretty good metaphor to me, but one thing I did pick up on was that whatever broke those shelves, that's not the thing that made them stronger. That just broke them. It was being fixed that made them stronger. It was the glue.

So my dad and I agreed, what doesn't kill you doesn't actually make you stronger, but healing does. And if you feel like healing hasn't made you stronger than you were before, you're probably not done healing. You've got to give these things time to set.

And like that she made a decision.

I feel wounded by her choice. Hurt that she chose the lesser of the two evil instead of no evil at all. But that’s mostly my problem and not really hers. I know that I have the issue of making people more of a priority in my life than I do there’s. And it’s evident in how I treat her and where I put her! I really need to get my mommy issues together. Not saying that I view her as my mother. But as a sister. I felt that she and I would have a relationship that would last longer that it has been going. Here I have to report she had chosen to stay. A decision she has come to all her own. Without any influence from me. I tried my best to be the supportive friend. But I’m not sure if that was the best thing to do!

With all this being said! One of the biggest things that bothers me about her choosing to stay with this man. Is that she’s the small pot of rice on the back burner during the holiday festivities. When she really is the main meal. She’s. Going to and is treated as a side option you put on your plate. Even here stating that she’s a side of rice is too much to say. Her treatment is more like the chef was lazy in the house of Martha Stewart and decided to open a can of string beans. And as some burnt butter with old flower over it and call it a delicacy. You can taste the difference, even if you can’t see it.

I know not of the woes and concerns of women. But! To say the least I would expect more self preservation. Other than comparing what others have and seeing that you have more and stying because you think this is what the options are. But! What can I say. I’m a relatively single 

Not that it is any of my business of how she

when i got home after the new years celebrations last night, i took off my boots and found this pin stuck in the bottom of one of them,, a good sign for the new year perhaps ? :-)