Brightlord Master Highmarshal Stormface Himself

Brightlord Master Highmarshal Stormface himself

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Cosmere Characters: Would They Ever Moon Someone?

As requested by no one. (Who would request this?) Anyway--"mooning" someone is pulling down your pants to show your butt. And for unknown reasons, I was wondering which Cosmere characters would be willing to moon someone else.

Dalinar: Would not moon anyone. I feel that it's probably against the codes.

Shallan: Would moon someone if she needed to check on the level of corruption in some shamespren or something like that.

Adolin: Would moon someone if he thought that person would find it funny. And if he was drunk.

Kaladin: Would not moon anyone. It's the prudishness.

Lopen: Has already mooned someone this week.

Wayne: Has already mooned someone this week.

Wax: Would certainly not moon anyone now that he is married to Steris.

Steris: Would DEFINITELY not moon anyone.

Marasi: Her head explodes with shame at the very thought.

Tress: Would moon someone if it, like, helped her friends somehow? IDK.

Nomad: Might accidentally moon someone if, for example, the sun burned off his pants or something but it would be done without whimsy

Szeth: Would moon someone if literally any authority figure told him to do so but it would be done without whimsy and everyone would be the worse for it

Jasnah: Would never allow herself to be in a position where mooning was necessary

Hoid: Would only moon very particular people under very particular circumstances

TenSoon: I mean dogs don't have pants so he's technically mooning most people most of the time.

Vin: Would not have, like, a moral objection to mooning someone but would imagine Sazed shaking his head in disappointment and that would give her pause

Allrianne: No

Kelsier: He'd moon the Lord Ruler. He'd smile while doing it too

Spook: He'd moon anyone if Kelsier told him to.

Elend: Would get too much in his head about it. Like, is it sexual harassment? What are the political ramifications?

Lift: Yeah.

Blushweaver: Would moon someone consensually in a sexy way

Lightsong: Weirdly, no, I don't think he would.

Vivenna: Absolutely no way that mooning is happening

Siri: Would definitely moon her husband but not anyone else

Vasher: There was that one time he Awakened his pants to leap off of his butt but that was a purely scientific thing.

Stormfather: Does not have a butt.

Navani: Would not moon anyone, but, like, if she were alone with Galivar's stonecast remains and no one was around and she was ruminating on their marriage then, you know, maybe...

MeLaan: Would not only moon someone, but would also make her butt extra giant and extra green while doing so.

adolin is just like me. extremely confused

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