Last Night On Earth

Last Night on Earth

Summary: During your time with the Atlanta Camp, you form an unlikely friendship with the younger Dixon brother. When the group finds their way to the CDC, you feel safe enough to push past the lines of just friends.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader

Era: Quarry/CDC (TWD S1 E4-6)

Word Count: 11k

Warnings: typical TWD violence, character death, guns, alcohol use, explicit language, sexual content (don't know if I would call it smut but it's in there!)

A/N: this is my first ever fic, and it definitely ended up being longer than anticipated, but I'm pretty happy with it! I am open to feedback, just please be nice about it i am so anxious to be posting this on the internet

————————————————————————

Everyone sits, laughing and eating around the fire. Amy and Andrea had caught a whole bunch of fish today, and the group was feasting for the first time in a while. Dale even cracked open a few beers for the adults of the group. You had gladly taken one, determined to have a good time tonight, determined to ignore the twinge of fear in your gut. You didn’t want to ruin the fun of the evening. Everyone was happy.

Well, you think to yourself. Not everyone.

A group had gone into Atlanta today, Daryl among them. He wanted to go because the new guy - Rick, Lori’s husband (which could’ve fooled you, with the way she has been acting around Shane) - had handcuffed his brother Merle to a roof and they went back to find him. You know that Daryl can handle himself - he was pretty much made for the apocalypse - but you can’t help but worry about him.

You and Daryl are unlikely friends, you know that. Before the world fell to shit, you were down in Florida, visiting friends from college. When the news broadcasts started becoming concerning, you had decided to cut your trip short and start driving back north, trying to get home to your family. But you had gotten caught in the traffic outside of Atlanta, with everyone trying to get in. You ended up stopped not far from Lori, Shane, and Carl and quickly became acquainted with them, as well as Carol and her family. You had watched the bombs get dropped on Atlanta with Lori and Shane, and since then, you were adopted into their group. It took a bit of convincing on Shane’s part - Lori had fought him very loudly about not wanting to leave you behind, since you were traveling alone - but one look at Carl clinging to your neck sealed the deal for him, and you’ve been with them ever since.

From there, your little group, including Carol and her husband and daughter, met Dale, Andrea, and Amy, and set up a small campsite not far outside of the city limits. A few days later, the Dixon brothers stumbled upon your camp. Most people were afraid of them; Merle and Daryl did not initially look like the friendly type, but their ability to hunt and provide food for the group was enough for everybody else to begin to tolerate them. 

But you did more than tolerate them. You actually began to form a bit of a friendship with the younger brother, Daryl. Merle was an ass, spitting nasty comments at everybody for any given reason, but Daryl was different. While he followed his brother almost everywhere, he was also more reserved and, once you got to know him, exceptionally kind. 

It started small, with him making sure that you had enough to eat whenever they brought back game from their hunting trips. But then it blossomed into him finding reasons to be around you; he started walking with you when you needed to go to the lake for water or to wash clothes or yourself. Eventually, it led to him inviting you to go hunting with him when Merle was still sleeping or too fucked up to go with him. You didn’t know anything about hunting, but he brought you along anyway, teaching you how to walk quietly through the woods, as to not scare any animals off, and even how to set up a few basic snares and traps. After a few trips, he gave you one of his hunting knives, showing you how to use it both for hunting and for fighting off walkers.

You later realized that Daryl actually seemed to like your company. And you were surprised to discover how much you liked his too. A deep gnawing feeling inside of you reminded you that you were as much of an outsider to the group as the Dixons were: Lori had her family, especially once Rick came back from the dead; Carol had her family, as shitty as her husband was; Andrea and Amy had each other, and Dale had them; the Morales all had each other too. So you had the Dixons, even Merle and his ridiculousness. 

You started spending more time with them. You ate your meals with them around their smaller campfire, as they were rarely invited to sit with the rest of the group. You even moved out of Dale’s RV and started sleeping in their tent, much to Merle’s chagrin. With that in mind, Daryl also insisted on you sleeping behind him, probably so that he could keep an eye on his brother. Eventually Merle began to lighten up about you being around, nicknaming you “dollface,” which was a huge upgrade from “slut,” “whore,” or “that nice piece of ass.”

So when Glenn, Andrea, Jacqui, T-Dog, and Morales came back from Atlanta with Rick instead of Merle, you were able to anticipate Daryl’s meltdown. Unfortunately, the men had found Daryl first, and an altercation occurred. When Daryl stalked off into the woods, you knew he needed space, but you followed him anyway.

“I have to go get him,” he kept saying, pacing back and forth. “I have to.”

“I know,” you had reassured him. “You will.” 

But that was hours ago, and they still weren’t back. So as much as you wanted to enjoy the fish-fry with everyone else, you worried about your friend. When the plates of food were passed around, you took extra and hid it on another plate, making sure to save some for the Dixons when they came back.

Because they will come back, you kept telling yourself. Struggling to eat with your stomach in knots, you keep to slowly sipping your beer and trying to focus on the conversation around the fire.

“We’re out of toilet paper?” Amy calls from the Rv. You laugh with the rest of the group, paying little mind to her until you hear the screaming. All of your heads snap to the young blonde, and the walker taking a bite out of her arm. 

The camp quickly erupts into chaos as walkers appear from every direction. Lori and Carol grab their kids and run for cover while the men get their weapons out. You unsheathe the hunting knife that Daryl had given you, sending up a grateful prayer to him, wherever he was. You run forward to stab the nearest walker in the head with your knife, making sure to hit the brain, just like Daryl had shown you. You yank it back out and jump backwards as a second walker lunges for you.

The air is full of gunfire as Shane unloads round after round into the oncoming walkers. All around you, people are screaming. You see multiple members of the group getting taken down by walkers, and you run away, knowing it's too late for them.

Daryl, you think into the universe, where are you?

A cold hand grabs your arm, and you turn to find a walker latched on to you. You scream, but no one’s around to help - everyone is fighting their own battles. You’re on your own. You raise your foot and kick the walker in the stomach with enough force that it has to let go of you, then you quickly ram your knife into its head before it can try again. It falls to your feet, taking your knife with it. You try to pull it out but it’s caught. You hear the groan of another walker stumbling towards you, so you try even harder to get the knife out but it won’t budge. The walker gets closer, and you’re about to give up on the knife when the walker's head explodes, blood splattering your face. 

Frozen in fear, you don’t register the face in front of yours until it yells at you.

“C’mon!” Daryl yells, looping an arm under yours and pulling you up. His strength is enough to help you pull the knife out of the dead walker’s skull, and he nearly drags you towards the RV. He shoots two more walkers along the way before the two of you are surrounded. He lets go of you, using the butt of his gun to smash in the heads of a few walkers. One goes for his back but you catch it just in time, driving your knife into its skull just before it can bite him. You stumble but Daryl catches you, pulling you the rest of the way to safety. 

When you get to the RV, Daryl pushes you behind him, putting himself between you and any other potential threats. After scanning the scene and seeing that it’s clear, he turns back to you.

“You alright?” he asks, grabbing your face. “You good?”

You nod the best you can, still recovering from the shock of it all. “Ye-yeah,” you manage to stutter out. “I’m okay.”

“Good,” he grunts out, still holding you. You place your hand over his, still cupping your face, close your eyes and take deep breaths, happy that the two of you are alive, despite the carnage that surrounds you.

You spend most of the next day helping the group dispose of the bodies, both walkers and fellow group members. Daryl uses a pickaxe to hit them in the brain so that the bodies can be burned. You follow him around, using the hunting knife to gently prevent your former friends from turning into walkers themselves.

When Daryl gets into an argument with Glenn about what to do with their bodies, you can’t help but agree with Glenn. 

“These were our friends,” you say to Daryl, when he was huffing and puffing about it afterwards.

“Not mah friends,” he spits out. “Not yers, neither.” This stings, so you look away, not wanting him to see the tears pricking your eyes. But of course, he does anyway. “‘m sorry,” he mutters, not meeting your eyes. “That was mean.”

“It’s okay,” you say, sniffling. “You’re not wrong.” Then you glare at him. “But they were still people. Our people.” He looks up at you. “So we bury them, okay?”

“Fine,” he mutters. He may not agree with you, but he works with you anyway, helping to move the bodies to the graves that Jim had ominously dug the day before.

When Jim is discovered to have been bitten, Daryl immediately moves in front of you, using his body as a shield to keep you safe. He pushes you back before moving in to lift Jim’s shirt and reveal the bite to the group. You slowly move to where Lori and Carol stand with the kids, ready to grab one of them and run if it comes down to it. Thankfully, it doesn’t.

The group discusses where to go and what to do. You hang back with Sophia and Carl, knowing that you don’t have much to add to the conversation since you’re not from around here. But when Daryl runs at Jim with the pickaxe and Rick puts a gun to his head, you quickly jump in between them. 

“Hey!” you yell, startling both of the men. You stare Rick down, his gun pointed between your eyebrows. Daryl lowers the pickaxe and wraps an arm around you but you plant your feet and refuse to move. 

“We don’t kill the living,” Rick says through gritted teeth.

“That’s funny coming from a man who just put a gun to our heads,” Daryl snarls. You smack him in the side.

“We may disagree on some things, not on this,” Shane drawls in agreement with Rick. “You put it down,” he orders Daryl. “Go on.” Daryl slams the pickaxe on the ground and stalks off, taking you with him. 

The two of you return to his tent. 

“Pack up yer things,” he murmurs, still glaring at Rick and Shane. “I feel like we’re gonna be moving soon.”

“Okay,” you say. “Don’t do anything stupid.” 

The left side of his mouth lifts into a small smirk. “Never,” he says before turning his back and returning to cleaning up the campsite.

After you pack up your few belongings, plus Daryl and Merle’s stuff, you pop back out of the tent to see Daryl handing the pickaxe to Carol. She then drives it into her dead husband’s skull time after time.

Good for her, you think to yourself, smiling. He sucked anyway. 

Not long after, the group convenes up by the graves. You stand next to Daryl as everyone watches Andrea and Dale lower Amy’s body into her final resting place. Andrea is clearly struggling, and you feel for her - of everyone in the group, Amy was one of your favorites, always so positive despite the dire circumstances you all lived in every day. A tear runs down your cheek, surprising you. You quickly wipe it away, hoping no one noticed, but Daryl always does. He takes your hand and gives it a quick squeeze. You squeeze his hand back, before he pulls it away, a blush creeping up his neck. He disappears as soon as the group disperses.

You walk back from the graves with Carol and her daughter. Carol is also one of your favorite people in camp. You saw how her husband mistreated her and always felt the urge to step in and protect her. You wrap an arm around her, and she drops her head onto your shoulder. The two of you walk this way until you get back to camp. Carol gives you a small smile before heading to her destroyed tent with Sophia to pack up their belongings. Your heart breaks for her too, but not as much.

Shane calls for a group meeting. You take a seat in one of the plastic folding chairs around the fire. Daryl appears behind you, resting his hands on the back of your chair. You instantly feel safer with him there.

“I’ve been thinking about Rick’s plan,” Shane says to the group. “Now look, there are no guarantees either way. I’ll be the first one to admit that. But I’ve known this man a long time. I trust his instincts. I say the most important thing here is we need to stay together.” He looks around the group as he talks. “So those of you that agree, we leave first thing in the morning. Okay?”

Most of the group nods in agreement. You just sit there and listen, taking in the information as well as the events of last night.

When everyone heads towards their own tents, Daryl falls into step with you.

“So what do ya think?” he asks you. “You wanna go with ‘em?”

You just shrug. “I got nowhere else to go,” you say simply. “You?”

Daryl looks at the ground, suddenly incredibly interested with the tip of his boots. “I go wherever you go,” he mutters.

You can’t help but smile. “Then I guess we’re going,” you say, unzipping the tent. You crawl inside. Daryl looks around a few times, before following you in as well.

The next morning, you wake up to a heavy weight on your stomach. You crack up an eye to find Daryl’s arm draped over you. For once, you didn’t have to sleep squeezed between him and the edge of the tent, with his body acting as a barrier between you and Merle, so you got to sleep on the inside. Apparently in his sleep, Daryl curled into you, wrapping his arm around you. You smiled, unable to help feeling safe this way. You close your eyes, savoring the moment.

Not long after, you feel Daryl start to stir behind you. You feign sleep, not wanting to make him feel embarrassed or anything about how your bodies ended up during the night. You expect him to jump up, snatching his arm back, not wanting to be caught with it around your sleeping form. But to your surprise, you feel him let out a deep sigh and curl even closer into your back before getting up. He carefully crawls over you, thinking you're still asleep, and unzips the tent. You don’t hear anything for a minute, but you can sense that he’s still there. You hear a low chuckle before you feel the tent move as he exits it.

You wait at least ten minutes before moving yourself. You crawl out of the tent to find the group circling up. Daryl walks back towards you as you slide into your boots, and he extends a hand to you, which you gladly take, helping you up. He doesn’t let it go as the two of you walk over to everyone else as Shane addresses the group yet again.

“Everybody listen up,” he instructs. You fight the urge to roll your eyes. He really loves the sound of his own voice,  you think snarkily to yourself. “Those of you with C.B.s, we’re gonna be on channel 40,” he continues. “Let’s keep the chatter down, okay? Now you got a problem, don’t have a C.B., can’t get a signal or anything at all, you’re gonna hit your horn one time. That’ll stop the caravan. Any questions?” He looks around the group.

“We’re, uh,” Morales starts, and your heart immediately drops. “We’re not going.”

“We have family in Birmingham,” his wife continues for him. “We wanna be with our people.”

“You go on your own, you won’t have anyone to watch your back,” Shane says, like he's trying to convince them not to go. 

“We’ll take the chance,” Morales says. “I gotta do what’s best for my family.”

“You sure?” Rick asks, earnestly.

“We talked about it,” Morales replies. “We’re sure.”

“All right,” Rick says, bending down. He and Shane whisper to each other about who knows what. Then they step toward him, handing him a handgun and ammo. 

“Box is half full,” Shane explains. 

Next to you, Daryl is clearly frustrated. He’s biting his nails on the hand that’s not holding yours. Then he scoffs and turns, letting go of your hand and stalking off, leaving you with the rest of the group. They’re all giving each other heartfelt goodbyes. Morales claps you on the shoulder and tells you to take care of yourself. “And Dixon,” he says with a smirk. You smile back. To your surprise, his kids latch on to your waist as his wife pulls you into a tight hug. You didn’t expect the affection from them, but you appreciate it nonetheless.

After you peel yourself away from the Morales family, you walk towards Daryl’s pickup. He has Merle’s motorcycle strapped to the back, and all of your stuff in the backseat.

“Got room for one more?” you ask playfully.

Daryl looks up at you from the other side of the truck. “ ‘course,” he says.

“Wasn’t sure if you were trying to pawn me off on somebody else,” you joke.

“Shut up,” he says, smirking. He climbs into the driver’s seat. You hop in the passenger side and barely close the door before he starts driving, following the rest of the caravan out of the quarry.

The caravan drives for several hours. You entertain yourself by bothering Daryl while he drives. This time, you’re reading the horoscopes off of an old newspaper you found on the floor of the backseat.

“When’s your birthday?” you ask him. 

“Why?” he asks, trying to sound annoyed with you but you can see right through him - he’s happy to not be alone on this drive. 

“Stop being so difficult and tell me,” you snap, hitting him with the newspaper.

“April 7th,” he answers, reluctantly.

“Hmmmm,” you say, reading. “So you’re an Aries. That makes sense.”

“What’s that supposed t’ mean?” he demands.

“‘Aries have bold personalities,’” you read from the newspaper. “‘They are courageous and determined individuals, natural leaders, but tend to be moody and aggressive when they don’t get their say.’” You burst out laughing.

“Shut up,” he says for the millionth time on this car ride, but you can see he’s trying not to smile. 

“It’s so true though!” you yell between laughs.

“Yeah?” he says, giving into his smile, “what about yours?”

“April 23rd,” you tell him. “Taurus.” You quickly scan the paper. “‘Reliable, patient, and as devoted and loyal as they come,’” you read. “‘Stubborn to a fault and possessive of those they love.’” 

It’s Daryl’s turn to laugh. “That sounds right,” he says. “Yer stubborn as shit.” You hit him with the newspaper again, laughing with him, before he has to slam on the breaks. The caravan has stopped.

“Stay here,” he says quickly, putting the truck in park and sliding out of it. 

“What, am I safer here?” you ask, rolling your eyes.

“Nah,” he says simply. “So you can protect my bike.” He dodges the newspaper that you ball up and throw at him, laughing, as he takes his crossbow and runs up to the front of the RV. 

Asshole, you think to yourself, but you can’t help but laugh too. 

After a while, Daryl walks back to the truck, all the laughter and levity from before wiped from his expression.

“What’s going on?” you ask, suddenly concerned. 

“Jim’s done,” Daryl says, looking at the ground. “He’s struggling. Wants to be left behind, so that’s what we’re gonna do.” He comes around the truck and opens the door for you. You slide out, and follow him up to where the rest of the group is.

Jim is sitting up against a tree when you get there. Jacqui talks to him softly before planting a kiss on his cheek. Rick offers him a gun - you guess to end it for good - but he refuses it. 

“I’m okay,” Jim reassures him. 

The group takes turns saying goodbye to him. You and Daryl weren’t particularly close with him - to be honest, he kinda gave you the creeps, not for any fault of his own but because of everything he had been through before he joined the group - so you both give him a goodbye nod before walking back to the truck. 

This time, when you and Daryl get back into your seats, you stay quiet while you drive off.

Just before sundown, the caravan parks outside of the CDC building. When you jump out of the pickup truck, you struggle to take in the scene in front of you. There are bodies everywhere. Piles of sandbags suggest that the military was there, but there are no surviving humans in sight. There are several walkers stumbling about, but for the most part, the place is a graveyard. Flies buzz around everywhere.

Daryl has his crossbow raised and a shotgun in his other hand, ready to fight. You grip the hunting knife he gave you and follow him and the rest of the group. As quietly as possible, you all approach the building.

Rick knocks on the shutter doors. The sound is so loud compared to the silence of the place. It immediately draws the dead.

“Walkers!” someone yells. 

You and Daryl turn, ready to fight them off. He shoots the closest one with his crossbow, but more are quickly approaching. He tosses you his gun.

“Aim for their heads,” he tells you. “Do yer best, I’ll handle the rest.”

You raise the gun, never having shot one before, and aim it at an approaching walker. You fire, hitting it in the chest. You pump the gun again to get another bullet in the chamber and this time, you hit the walker straight in the face. Next to you, Daryl takes out two more.

Behind you, Shane and Rick are arguing again, and you can hear Lori trying to get involved too. But you don’t have time to focus on what they’re saying - Carol cries, holding Sophia to her chest, and you refuse to let anything happen to them. You shoot another walker that tries to close in on them, then place yourself between Carol and any more of the dead that try to follow. You take aim at another one, when all of a sudden, there’s a loud sound and a bright light behind you. You turn, and see that the doors to the CDC are open.

The group rushes inside the building. Daryl pretty much pushes you through the door, keeping his eye on the walkers stumbling their way forward.

You step into the lobby of the CDC. It’s bright, even with most of the lights off. The place is amazingly clean, given the carnage that lays just outside its front doors. From what you can see, it’s empty. Everyone that’s armed keeps their guns up, reading for the next attack, but it doesn’t come.

“Anybody infected?” a voice calls from inside. You can’t see where it’s coming from.

“One of our group was,” Rick explains. “He didn’t make it.”

“Why are you here? What do you want?” the voice asks again. Now you see the lone man with a gun approaching the group.

“A chance,” Rick answers. 

“That’s asking an awful lot these days,” the stranger says, still approaching. You raise your gun at him, not even sure if you have any ammunition left.

“I know,” Rick says simply.

There’s a pause as the man surveys the group in front of him. You can only imagine what you all must look like to him.

But after a minute or so, he announces, “You all submit to a blood test. That’s the price of admission.”

“We can do that,” Rick assures him. 

The man lowers his gun. “You have stuff to bring in, you do it now. Once this door closes, it stays closed.”

Daryl quickly hands you his crossbow as he runs outside. You stand in the doorway, watching his back as he collects your bags from his truck. You don’t breathe until he comes back in, and the group piles into an elevator.

You and Daryl stand in the back corner. He moves himself in front of you, placing himself between you and this strange new man. You are grateful for it, and you lean your forehead into his back as you take deep breaths, trying to calm yourself down. We’re safe, you tell yourself. We’re safe now. 

When the elevator dings, you follow Daryl and the rest of the group out and down a long hallway.

“Are we underground?” you hear Carol ask. 

“Are you claustrophobic?” he asks back.

“A little,” she says quietly.

“Try not to think about it,” is all he says back.

Dick, you think. 

He leads the group into a big room with a lot of computers, where he announces that he’s the only one left there. Rick and several others ask him a bunch of questions, but you can’t be bothered to listen. You are still trying to process the events of the last half hour, and have to lean heavily on Daryl to keep your breathing steady. He lets you, giving your shoulder a small squeeze as he leads you to the next room where the man - Dr. Edwin Jenner, you find out - takes blood samples from you all. 

After he takes Andrea’s blood sample, she stumbles.

“Are you okay?” the doctor asks. 

“She hasn’t eaten in days,” Jacqui explains. “None of us have.” 

Jenner looks around at the group thoughtfully, then leaves the room without a word.

A short while later, the smell of food fills the air. You follow Daryl into yet another room, and see a table covered in food. There’s pasta and vegetables and bread. And wine! So much wine. Jenner pops a bottle open and pours some for all of the adults around the table. You swallow half of yours down, and savor the fuzzy feeling you get as it hits your brain. 

T-Dog piles a mound of spaghetti onto your plate and you dig in right away. It’s been so long since you’ve had something as simple as pasta, and you nearly moan after the first bite. Your cheeks burn, almost embarrassed at your reaction, but everyone around the table is reacting to the food as well, so you’re sure your reaction went1 unnoticed.

For the first time in what feels like weeks, the atmosphere of the group is pure happiness. Everyone is eating their fill and enjoying the drinks that Jenner has provided. Dale goes around the table, topping off everyone’s wine glasses, and everyone laughs as Carl takes his first sip of wine and nearly spits it out onto the table. 

Having finished eating, Daryl has taken to leaning against the counter behind where you sit, bottle of Southern Comfort in hand. You keep turning around to steal peeks at him as he taunts Glenn, making the group laugh even more. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him smile this big before. He catches your eye, and you match his smile, holding your glass out to him. He clinks his bottle with it and you each take a sip, not breaking eye contact until Rick starts tapping his knife on his glass.

“It seems to me we haven’t thanked our host properly,” Rick announces, standing and lifting his glass into the air.

“He is more than just our host!” T-Dog calls out, raising his glass too.

Everyone in the group raises their glasses in cheers to Jenner. 

“Booyah!” Daryl yells, and Dale and T-Dog echo his cheer. Everyone goes around, clinking glasses together and laughing and drinking to your host, thanking him for his hospitality. 

Shane is the first one to break the levity of the evening. “So when are you gonna tell us what the Hell happened here, Doc?” he asks Jenner. The room goes quiet. “All the—the other doctors that were supposed to be figuring out what happened, where are they?”

“We’re celebrating, Shane,” Rick says quietly, sitting down. “Don’t need to do this now.”

But of course, Shane continues. “Whoa, wait a second. This is why we’re here, right? This was your move—supposed to find all the answers. Instead we—” he stops, chuckling to himself. “we found him. Found one man, why?”

Jenner clearly looks uncomfortable, but answers him anyway. “Well, when things got bad, a lot of people just left, went off to be with their families. And when things got worse, when the military cordon got overrun, the rest bolted.”

“Every last one?” Shane presses him.

“No,” Jenner replies, staring him down. “Many couldn’t face walking out the door. They… opted out. There was a rash of suicides.” He looks away, as if reliving it. “That was a bad time.”

This time, Andrea leans in and asks, “You didn’t leave. Why?”

“I just kept working, hoping to do some good,” he answers sadly, looking up at her.

An awkward silence falls over the group. Everyone takes quiet sips from their drink, not making eye contact with anyone else, waiting for someone to break the tension.

Glenn wanders forward, looking at Shane. “Dude, you are such a buzzkill, man,” he mumbles. 

Shane at least has the courtesy to look a little ashamed of himself.

After dinner, you stumble behind the rest of the group, the effects of the wine hitting you harder than you expected. Daryl swoops in, reaching an arm around you and holding you steady.

“You all right?” he asks, concern lacing his glassy eyes. He’s probably just as drunk as you are.

“I’m more than all right,” you answer, a smile breaking across your face. “I feel great!” You sway as you say this, and Daryl is the only thing keeping you from falling. He smirks as he pulls you upright, and the two of you nearly trip over each other, trying to follow everyone else. 

Jenner is explaining things to those of the group who can actually listen. But whatever he says last catches Glenn’s attention. He turns back to the rest of the group, and says excitedly, “Hot water?”

“That’s what the man said,” T-Dog replies, and both of the men start laughing.

Then, the group splits up, each running to a room to call dibs on a shower. You are too busy laughing to try and claim one for yourself. Thankfully, Daryl has you, and he pulls you into one of the rooms with him.

Inside, there is a twin bed, a nightstand, and another door that you are assuming leads to the bathroom and the glorious shower with hot water. You fall onto the bed, laughing still as you sit up and look at Daryl. He stands by the door, looking at the ground awkwardly.

“What?” you ask him, giggling.

“You can go first,” he says shyly. “In the shower, I mean.”

“Oh,” you say, standing up off of the bed. You grab onto the doorframe of the bathroom to keep from falling. Daryl is right behind you, a hand on your waist, steadying you. You smile at him, then once you get your balance back, you walk into the small bathroom, and turn the water on for the shower. It comes out cold, so you decide to give it a minute before getting in.

When you turn around, you see Daryl trying to walk out of the bathroom.

“Wait,” you say, grabbing his arm.

“What?” he asks, looking at your hand on him rather than your face.

“Come with me,” you say quickly.

His face shoots up to yours. “What?” he asks again. You see the tips of his ears turning pink.

“There’s not much hot water,” you say. You feel your cheeks burning, not sure if it’s the wine or what you’re saying, but you carry on anyway. “This way, we’ll both get some.”

“Are you sure?” he asks quietly.

“Very sure,” you reply, pulling him towards you. 

When his body nearly collides with yours, you bring your hand up to his face and crash your mouth onto his. You can tell you took him by surprise - for a moment he freezes, but before you can pull back and apologize, his hand finds the back of your neck and he’s kissing you back. His kisses start off gentle but quickly deepen as he pulls you even closer to him. You run your tongue along his bottom lip and he parts his, letting you slip inside. He tastes of cigarettes and whiskey, and the taste alone is enough to make you moan.

Daryl pushes you so that your back is up against the wall, the hand that’s not on your neck finding your waist, slipping his fingers under the hem of your shirt. You raise your arms so that he can slip your shirt off entirely, only breaking the kiss when it gets in the way. Once it’s off, you wrap your arms around his neck and deepen the kiss even further as the two of you wrestle for dominance. 

You slide your hands down his muscular chest and move to unbotton his shirt, but he catches your hand, stopping you. “Wait,” he says.

“I don’t want to,” you say, trying to catch his mouth with yours again but he dodges it, looking at the ground instead.

“You don’t want-” he starts, but you cut him off.

“I do,” you say quickly. “Whatever you’re going to say, I do.” You cup his cheek with one hand. “We might die tomorrow. Who knows in this world.” You rub your thumb along his cheekbone. “But what I do know is that I want this. I want you.” You bend your knees, putting your face in front of his so that you can look into his eyes. “Please, Daryl.”

He gazes into your eyes. “You sure?” he asks.

“If you ask me that one more time, I’m taking your crossbow and shooting you with it,” you say smirking. At this, he smiles, grabbing your face with both of his hands and smashing his lips onto yours.

You and Daryl kiss each other while also trying to kick your shoes off. You have to break apart so that you can each wrestle with your pants. You’re suddenly really regretting your choice of skinny jeans, as you have to jump and yank to get them off. When you finally do, you find Daryl standing in front of you in just his boxers, and you take in his muscular form. His chest and arms are littered with scars, all of which you plant kisses on before he places his hands at the back of your thighs and picks up you, pushing you back into the wall. You wrap your legs around him and you catch his mouth with yours, savoring every moment of this kiss. 

He reaches one hand out and feels the shower water.

“It’s hot,” he murmurs into your kisses.

“Put me down,” you nearly yell, wiggling out of his arms. “I want in!”

Daryl laughs as he drops you to the floor, then he catches his fingers under your sports bra and pulls it up over your head. You grab the waistband of his boxers and yank them down just as he does the same to your panties. You stand in front of him, naked as the day you were born. Daryl looks you up and down, and you swear you can see the hunger in his eyes.

“C’mon now,” he says as he takes your waist, and pulls you into the shower with him.

You can’t decide what feels better: the hot water or Daryl Dixon’s kisses. The water sprays your back as he kisses and nibbles your lips, your jaw, your neck, your collarbone. Your hands find their way into his hair, running your fingers through it. A small moan escapes you as he worships you with his lips. Daryl kisses you lower and lower until he gets down onto his knees, hooking one of your legs over his shoulder, and he bites the inside of your thigh. You grab a fistful of his hair as he moves in to kiss your core.

The effect is immediate: you fall back into the wall as Daryl licks his way from your entrance up to your clit. One of his large hands grips your waist, holding you in place. Your head falls back in pleasure as he sucks on the sensitive nub, sending jolts of pleasure through your body. Your knee buckles beneath you, but he doesn’t let you fall. His free hand finds your entrance, teasing you by circling around it before he slips one finger inside.

You moan loudly as his finger enters you. You can’t remember the last time you felt this good, the last time you even hooked up with someone, and it sends your body into a frenzy. You tug on his hair, pulling his face up from kissing your core.

“I need you,” you say, breathlessly. “I need you now.”

Daryl immediately yields to your desire. He stands up, towering over you. When he kisses you, you taste yourself on his lips, and it makes you crave him even more. One of your legs already around his hip, he gently lifts you like you weigh nothing. You wrap both of your legs around his waist as he lines himself up with your entrance. He catches your lips in his, then presses his forehead to yours, looking deep into your eyes.

“All right?” he asks, his voice low and husky. You want to melt just at the sound of it.

“All right,” you whisper back. And when he pushes himself into you.

His head falls into the space between your shoulder and your neck as he does, starting slow. Gradually, he pushes into you further until he bottoms out. He pauses there, giving you a moment to adjust to his size, before he pulls his head back up, catching your lips in his. 

You kiss him back fiercely, letting him know you’re okay, and then he begins thrusting into you. He is gentle at first but he quickly picks up the pace. Your back slides up the wall with the power of his hips, but you can barely tell. All you can think - and feel and taste - is Daryl. Arms circling his neck, you kiss any part of him that you can reach: his lips, his jaw, just under his ear, his neck. When you bite down on his shoulder, you elicit a deep groan from him, and the sound makes your toes start to curl.

The mix of the hot water, his thrusts, the friction between you from his closeness lights a fire deep in your lower belly. You can feel your orgasm approaching, starting as a little spark and growing into a wildfire. With all your might, you pull him closer to you, moaning his name as you do.

“Oh Daryl,” you say breathlessly. “I’m gonna- I’m gonna-” and then your head falls back as your orgasm crashes over you.

All at once, your body feels as if it engulfs in flames. The knot in your stomach explodes like a firework show. Eyes closed, you moan and whimper into Daryl’s ear as he fucks you through your orgasm. He keeps the pace of his thrusts slow and steady. Your arms start to slip, but his grip on your thighs tightens, refusing to let you fall. He places gentle kisses and bites along your neck and jaw as you ride out your high.

When you start to come down, you catch his lips in yours.

“You good?” he asks into your kiss.

“So good,” you mumble out, smiling into his lips.

Daryl bites your lower lip, pulling on it lightly before letting go. His forehead finds the crook of your neck again as he thrusts into you harder, searching for his release next. Your nails drag along the back of his neck and his shoulders as he keeps pushing you up and into the shower wall. His thrusts become more erratic as he approaches his own orgasm. You grab a handful of his hair and pull, forcing him to lean his head back so you can kiss and bite along his neck. 

This undoes him. Quickly, he pulls out of you, lowering one of your legs to the floor. Eyes squeezed shut, he pumps himself once, twice, three times before he comes too, trying his best to aim it away from you. One leg still wrapped around him, you lay kisses along his chest, sucking on his collarbone as he rides out his own high. You steady him the best you can, then he falls into you, groaning as he does.

You kiss him on the forehead. “You good?” you ask, smirking.

Daryl chuckles before responding. “Amazin’, darlin’,” he drawls. He catches your lips again, then gently lowers your other leg so that you are standing on your own. You kiss him deeply, exhausted and giddy, wanting to draw it out for as long as possible. His hands are on your waist again, with one slowly dragging its way up your body, sending a shiver up your spine.

He pulls away, looking up into the stream of water. “Guess we should actually shower, huh?” he asks, smirking.

“Yeah,” you say, a little reluctantly, not wanting this moment to end. “If we run out of hot water, I’ll cry.”

Both laughing, you and Daryl break apart to start cleaning up. Thankfully, the CDC has body wash, shampoo, and conditioner dispensers on the wall of the shower. You grab some of the shampoo and dig your fingers into Daryl’s hair before he can stop you. You massage it into his scalp, eliciting another deliciously low groan from him. While you work on his hair, he reaches behind you to get some of the soap, and starts lathering your body, working meticulously from your shoulders to your chest, down your legs. He grabs you, switching your places so that he’s under the stream of water, rinsing out the shampoo as you start to shampoo your own hair. 

By the time the water starts to run cold, you and Daryl are both washed, rinsed, and conditioned. He jumps out of the shower first, tying a towel around his waist before wrapping you in one. Arms trapped inside, you have to let Daryl pull you out of the shower and back into the room. You trip over your discarded shoes, and land on the bed, giggling. 

As soon as you feel the softness of the mattress, your exhaustion catches up to you. You dry yourself the best you can, before chucking the towel across the room.

“Don’t be getting mah bed all wet,” Daryl says from across the room. He’s already slipped back into his boxers and sleeveless flannel shirt.

“Shut up, Daryl,” you mumble, sinking into the pillows. You pull the blanket out, making space for him to lay with you. He scoffs, but he climbs in anyway. You lay your head on his chest, pulling him tight. You barely feel his kiss on the top of your head before sleep overtakes you.

The next morning, you wake up, still snuggled into Daryl’s chest. You can tell that he's already awake; you can feel him gnawing on his fingernails before you even open your eyes. Anxiety radiates off of him.

Using your arms, you squeeze into him tighter, then lean up to kiss his neck.

“Good morning,” you murmur, eyes still closed but smiling.

“Mornin’,” he says, shortly.

Your eyes shoot open at his tone. All the affection, the gentleness from last night has been replaced by a coldness. You sit up, leaning on your elbow so you can look at him. He looks away.

“What’s wrong?” you ask.

“Nothin,” he grunts out.

You nudge him. “Liar,” you say. You grab his face with your free hand, and pull it towards you, forcing him to look at you. “Talk to me.”

“It’s nothin,” he mutters. He moves to get out of the bed but you don’t let him go.

“It’s not,” you say, more forcefully this time.

Daryl looks away from you again. It makes you want to punch him in the face.

“So that’s it?” you ask, trying to ignore the prickling of the tears in your eyes. “You get to fuck me once, and then go cold on me? That’s what we’re gonna be now?”

“That what you want?” he asks, still not looking at you.

“If you would look at me, you could see that’s not what I want at all,” you snap. 

This makes him look at you, and he immediately sees how glassy your eyes are. He hesitates, eyes flicking between yours and your lips. “You don’t?”

“Not at all,” you whisper. You cup his cheek with your hand, and he leans into it, eyes falling closed. “I want you. Just as much as I did last night. I want you. I want this. Forever. Even if forever is just for today.”

His eyes snap back open. “You do?” he asks, and you can hear the eagerness in his voice, even as he tries to hide it.

“I do,” you say breathlessly. You lean your face in towards his, pausing less than an inch away from his lips. “I really do.”

You can feel his breath hitch at your words. Gingerly, you close the gap between your lips and his, and place a soft kiss upon them. He kisses you back timidly, as if waiting for you to be repulsed. But when you deepen the kiss, he relaxes, his hands crawling up your back to pull you in closer.

Without breaking the kiss, you lay back onto the mattress, pulling him on top of you. Using one arm to hold up his weight, Daryl’s free hand trails up your side to cup your face. You slide your hand down his body, feeling the muscles of his chest again and then catching on the waistband of his boxers. Taking your hint, he pulls them down, releasing his cock, already hard, and lines it up with your entrance. He breaks the kiss only for a moment to look into your eyes, before pushing into you again.

Forehead pressed against yours, Daryl grinds into your body slowly. You lift your hips to meet him with each thrust, your hands exploring every inch of your body. The warmth that radiates off of his skin reignites your fire from last night. You catch his mouth with yours, his lips parting to allow your tongue in as your kisses deepen. 

Your bodies begin to flow like one, melting into one another with every movement. One of your legs wraps around his hips, pulling him in even closer. Daryl’s kisses become sloppy, slipping from your mouth to your jawline, trailing along it and down to your neck. Every one of your nerves feels like it's been pulled taut; every place that he touches you is like him strumming them like a guitar. 

The deep pool of desire inside of you begins to overflow, and your fingers find his hair as you come undone in his arms again. You moan his name, pepper him with kisses, drag your nails along his arms as your body gives into the pleasure that only he can give you. Your walls clench around him, and he barely lasts through your orgasm before he has to pull away, shooting his own onto the bed just beneath you. 

Daryl lays his head on your chest as you both recover from your mutual releases. Eyes closed, you rub his back as he pushes kisses into your skin. He eventually crawls back up to you and kisses your forehead, your nose, then your lips. When you open your eyes, you can see a gleam in his eyes that you’ve never seen before.

“Let’s go find some grub,” he says through his smirk. “I’m starvin’.”

You can’t help smiling, feeling happier than you have in a long time. But you should’ve known better.

By the time you and Daryl make your way to the breakfast room, most of the group is following Jenner out. You look at him, but he just shrugs and moves to follow the group. You stop to pour yourself a cup of coffee; the smell alone is making your mouth water, and you refuse to miss out on a luxury you used to take for granted. You assure Daryl that you’ll be in there in just a minute. 

“I won’t be missing out on anything too exciting,” you say to him with a smirk.

Boy, were you wrong.

When you walk into the main computer room, everyone is crowded around Jenner and watching the big screen. On it, you see what looks like an x-ray of a brain, and you nearly jump out of your skin when a streak of light shoots through it.

Carol asks, “God. What was that?”

“He shot his patient in the head,” Andrea explains, turning to Jenner. “Didn’t you?”

Jenner hesitates, before talking to the computer. “VI, Power down the main screen and the workstations.”

The computer voice responds, “Powering down main screen and workstations.” The room starts to go dark. 

As people hound the doctor with questions, you move over to where Daryl is standing. He watches the doctor carefully, and you can feel the tension radiating off of him. You try to place a hand on his arms but he pulls away, starting to pace the floor.

“So it’s not just here,” Andrea questions Jenner. “There’s nothing left anywhere? Nothing? That’s what you’re really saying, right?”

When he doesn’t answer, realization hits the group like a bag of bricks.

“Jesus,” Jacqui mutters, exasperated.

Daryl rubs his hands into his eyes, still pacing, “Man, I’m gonna get shitfaced drunk again,” he complains, leaning on one of the computers. 

Dale speaks up, “Dr. Jenner, I know this has been taxing for you and I hate to ask one more question, but…that clock—” he points to a big red countdown clock on the wall. “it’s counting down. What happens at zero?”

“The basement generators—they run out of fuel,” Jenner answers quickly, before walking out of the room.

“And then?” Rick asks, but Jenner ignores him. Instead, Rick turns back to the supercomputer.  “VI, what happens when the power runs out?”

The computer answers, “When the power runs out, facility-wide decontamination will occur.”

Daryl throws his hands up into the arm and curses before stalking out of the room. You look around at the rest of the group, who all look just as confused as you are. Rick nods his head towards Shane and the two of them, followed by Glenn and T-Dog, run out of the room. You look over at Carol and Lori, who are both holding their kids close. You decide to go find Daryl and try to figure out what the fuck is going on.

You find him back in the room where you had spent the night with him. He’s pacing the room, bottle of whiskey in hand. Every few steps, he takes a swig from it, muttering to himself.

“Daryl,” you say gently. He doesn’t seem to hear you. He keeps pacing and talking to himself as if you’re not even there.

“Daryl,” you say again, louder. He stops and looks at you. “Calm down,” you say, moving closer to him. “We’ll figure something out.”

“But what if we don’t?” he asks angrily. But underneath that anger, you can hear a twinge of fear laced in his voice. 

“We will,” you reassure him. “Rick and some of the guys ran off, probably to go look at those generators.” 

Daryl only grunts at you. You chuckle a little, before snatching the whiskey out of his hand. You plop down on the bed, patting the space next to you.

“C’mon,” you try to coax him over, but he doesn’t move.

“What are we supposed to do now?” he asks, quietly.

“I mean, you did say something about getting drunk,” you trail off, taking a long sip of the whiskey.

With a huff, Daryl lands on the bed next to you, snatching the bottle back from you and drinking.

A short while later, you are still sitting on the bed, legs draped over Daryl’s lap, enjoying the fuzziness in your head, courtesy of the whiskey. Daryl’s sitting with his head leaned back against the wall, one hand making lazy circles along your thigh. You take another sip from the bottle before passing it back to his open hand. As you do, the lights in the room dim.

Daryl immediately jumps, and moves to pop his head out into the hall. “What’s going on?” he asks. “Why is everything turned off?”

Jenner walks past your room, dressed in a shirt, tie, and lab coat, and takes the whiskey bottle from Daryl as he continues moving down the hall.

“Energy use is being prioritized,” he says as a means of explanation.

“Air isn’t a priority?” Dale asks, dumbfounded. “And lights?”

Jenner takes a swig from the bottle and says simply, “It’s not up to me. Zone 5 is shutting itself down.”

Daryl starts following him down the hallway. “Hey! Hey, what the Hell’s that mean?”

But Jenner keeps walking, and your entire group follows. You trail behind everyone else, just barely able to make out Daryl yelling at the doctor. “Hey, man, I’m talking to you. What do you mean it’s shutting itself down? How can a building do anything?”

More lights begin to turn off as you follow Jenner back to the computer room. Rick, T-Dog, Glenn and Shane come running from another doorway to join the rest of the group. Rick runs ahead and meets up with Jenner, demanding answers. The rest of you trickle down the stairs to join them at the computers.

The clock on the wall reads 30 minutes left.

Jenner pauses, allowing everyone to catch up. He hands the bottle to Daryl, who angrily snatches it out of his hand, spilling some whiskey on the floor.

Then Jenner turns to Andrea. “It was the French,” he says.

“What?” she asks, confused.

“They were the last ones to hold out as far as I know,” he explains. “While our people were bolting out the doors and committing suicide in the hallways, they stayed in the labs till the end. They thought they were close to a solution.”

“What happened?” Jacqui asks.

Jenner looks defeated as he continues. “The same thing that’s happening here. No power grid. Ran out of juice. The world runs on fossil fuel. I mean, how stupid is that?”

Shane jumps up to confront him but Rick pulls him back. He calls out behind him, “Lori, grab our things. Everybody, get your stuff. We’re getting out of here now!”

But as you all turn to run back to the rooms, an alarm starts blaring.

“What’s that?” Shane asks Jenner.

The computer answers for him, announcing: “30 minutes to decontamination.” Everyone is looking around the room, at each other, panic in their eyes.

“Doc, what’s going on here?” Daryl yells. But Jenner is too busy messing with the computers to answer.

Shane addresses the group, “Everybody, y’all heard Rick. Get your stuff and let’s go! Go now! Go!” 

But as everyone starts to run again, there’s a loud bang: the security door to the computer room has slammed shut.

“He just locked us in!” Glenn yells, fear almost causing his voice to break.

You look for Daryl in the chaos, and you find him running at Jenner, the bottle in hand, ready to hit him.

“You son of a bitch!” he yells as he tries to swing, but Shane and T-Dog catch him before he can connect with the doctor’s head.

Rick stalks up to him. “Hey, Jenner, open that door now,” he demands.

“There’s no point,” Jenner explains, dejected. “Everything topside is locked down. The emergency exits are sealed.”

“Well, open the damn things,” Dale yells.

“That’s not something I control,” Jenner continues. “The computers do. I told you: once that front door closed, it wouldn’t open again. You heard me say that. It’s better this way.”

Rick looks at him, confused. “What is? What happens in 28 minutes?” When Jenner doesn’t answer, Rick asks again, “What happens in 28 minutes?!”

Jenner shouts back, “You know what this place is?! We protected the public from very nasty stuff! Weaponized smallpox! Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country! Stuff you don’t want getting out! Ever!” He pauses, sitting back down. He continues, quieter this time. “In the event of a catastrophic power failure—in a terrorist attack, for example—H.I.T.s are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out.”

“H.I.T.s?” Rick asks, approaching him.

Jenner orders the computer to define it for him. “H.I.T.s—high-impulse thermo baric fuel-air explosives consist of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear. The vacuum-pressure effect ignites the oxygen at between 5,000 degrees and 6,000 degrees and is useful when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired.”

“It sets the air on fire,” Jenner explains in a low voice, not making eye contact with anyone. “No pain.”

The group stares at Jenner, understanding hitting everyone differently. Rick grabs Lori and Carol, holding them close. Carol is openly crying now, hugging Sophia to her chest. Dale and T-Dog just stare, mouths agape. Your hands reach up to cover your mouth as you try to process what you just heard: Jenner is going to kill us all.

Only Daryl still has his wits about him. Kind of. He throws the liquor bottle at the sealed door, yelling at Jenner to open it.

Shane runs at the door with a fire ax, trying to cut it open. T-Dog tosses a second one to Daryl, who catches it and starts working with Shane to get the door open. Lori and Carol slide down to the floor, each with their kid in their lap, trying to keep them calm. You move closer to where Shane and Daryl are working on the door, trying to watch for any indication that it’s working. As far as you can see, they aren’t making a dent.

After a few minutes of no progress, they both stop, out of breath. You try to catch Daryl, but he and Shane are moving back to where Rick is talking to Jenner, practically begging him to let you all out.

“Can’t make a dent,” Shane tells him, out of breath.

“Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher,” Jenner explains, smugly.

“Well, your head ain’t!” Daryl yells, running up, swinging his ax at the man.

It takes Dale, Rick and T-Dog to hold Daryl back. T-Dog pulls the ax out of Daryl’s hands, who pushes past them all and stalks back over to the door. You follow him.

“Daryl-” you start, but he cuts you off.

“Don’t tell me to calm down,” he snaps at you.

“I wasn’t-” you try but he moves in swiftly, taking your face between his hands.

“You said you wanted forever, right?” he asks. Tears in your eyes, you can only nod in response. “Then I’m gettin you yer forever.” He leans in, touching his forehead to yours, and looks deeply into your eyes. “I’m gettin’ us out of here.” 

You nod again. “O-okay,” you manage to get out. You and Daryl stay this way for a minute, soaking each other in, only breaking apart when you hear the sound of a shotgun cocking. Both of your heads snap back to the group as Shane runs up to Jenner with the gun, pressing it into his face.

“Open that door or I’m gonna blow your head off. Do you hear me?” he threatens the doctor.

Rick and Lori try to talk him down, but Shane begins yelling and shooting at the computer monitors. The other members of the group duck for cover as pieces of the machines start flying in different directions. Daryl nearly has to knock you to the ground as Rick tries to get the gun from Shane, causing a stray round to hit the light fixture above you. 

Rick wrestles the gun away from Shane. Everyone looks to him for guidance. He hands it off to T-Dog before turning on Jenner again. “I think you’re lying,” he says. “You’re lying about no hope. If that were true, you’d have bolted with the rest or taken the easy way out. You didn’t. You chose the hard path. Why?”

Exasperated, Daryl finds the ax again and returns to beating on the door. You follow him with the second one, and stand between him and the rest of the group, trying to hear what they’re saying in between the slams of the ax on the door. Each slam of the ax on the door lines up with your heart, which is pounding in your chest. Fear threatens to take over, but you shove it back down. Daryl’s going to get us out of here, you tell yourself on repeat. We are going to live.

After a while, Daryl’s hits on the door begin to slow down. He stops, hands on his knees, panting. He refuses to look at you. Don’t give up,  you want to tell him, but your throat feels like it's closing. You look back to Jenner, who is watching Rick intently as he continues to plead. 

Whatever he says to Jenner must work, because all of a sudden, the door shoots open.

“Come on!” Daryl yells, signaling for everyone to follow him. You reach him at the door, pulling him into a quick hug as everyone runs up behind you.

Everyone except Jacqui.

“Let’s go. Let’s go,” T-Dog says to her, trying to pull her along.

But Jacqui pulls away. “No no. I’m staying,” she tells him, tears in her eyes. “I’m staying, sweetie.”

“But that’s insane!”

“No, it’s completely sane,” she continues. “For the first time in a long time. I’m not ending up like Jim and Amy.” Everyone stops and stares at her. She looks at the group, and motions them forward. “There’s no time to argue. And no point, not if you want to get out. Just get out. Get out.” She pushes T-Dog to urge him to go.

Daryl grabs your hand. “We gotta go, girl,” he says as he starts pulling you down the hallway. You stumble along behind him, doing your best to keep up. You hear the footsteps behind you as more group members run out, but when you peer behind you, you see that Dale hasn’t left the computer room, and neither has Andrea. You want to yell out but you can’t as Daryl throws open the door to the stairwell and you have to start climbing.

When you make it to the lobby, T-Dog runs forward, trying to open the doors. They’re locked.

Daryl and Shane take the axes again and start trying to break open the windows, but they barely even splinter with each hit.

Your blood is pounding in your ears. There has to be only three minutes left on that timer, and you can’t find a way out of the building. You look around for something to use to try and break out, but there’s no use. T-Dog hits the window with a chair but it bounces right off each time. Shane shoots at it with the shotgun and, while it makes a small crack in it, it’s not enough to break it open.

We’re not going to get out in time, you think to yourself. You feel your chest tightening as fear takes over. Tears start to prick your eyes again as you look at Daryl. He’s frantic, looking up and down the lobby, trying to come up with another plan. But you can tell he comes up empty-handed.

Then Carol runs forward, digging in her purse, “Rick, I have something that might help,” she cries. Shane mutters under his breath, but she ignores him. “Your first morning at camp, when I washed your uniform I found this in your pocket.” She pulls out a grenade - a grenade?! - and hands it to Rick before running back to her daughter.

As Rick runs towards the window with the grenade, Daryl runs at you, looping an arm around your waist and dragging you behind a low wall. He spins you around so that his back is to the windows, and he holds you tight. You grip his arms and squeeze your eyes closed, bracing for whatever is about to happen.

The grenade explodes, shattering the window. Daryl pokes his head up, peering over the wall, then grabs you by the arm. “Run!” he yells, and you and the rest of the group make a break for it. 

Daryl reaches the window first, tossing the ax out before jumping down to the ground. Then he turns around, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you down next to him. He picks the ax back up, and yells at you to stay behind him. You pull your hunting knife out of its sheath on your hip and follow him.

Together, you make a beeline for his truck. Everyone is running. Shane and Rick shoot a couple of lingering walkers, clearing a path to the vehicles. Daryl drops your hand to take the head off of an incoming walker with the ax. He pushes you on ahead of him and you sprint to the pick up.

When you reach it, you run around to the driver’s side, trying to put as much distance between yourself and the building as possible. Daryl runs up, yanking the door open.

“Get in, get in,” he yells, half lifting you into the truck. You barely make it on to the seat before he jumps in behind you, slamming the door shut. You go to slide over but Daryl pushes you down so that you’re laying on the seat. He lays on top of you, holding you close to his chest. You squeeze your eyes closed and wrap your arms around him the best you can, and you pray for the first time in ages.

Please god, you beg. Let us be okay-

Then you hear the explosion. The truck rattles at the sheer force of it. Daryl pulls you even closer to him, his face lost in your hair. 

It feels like it goes on forever. Eventually when it starts to quiet down, you feel Daryl sit up slightly. You lean forward too, trying to peer out of the window, and you gasp.

The building is gone. All that’s in front of you is a pile of rubble and massive flames, with black smoke reaching up to touch the sky. You let your tears stream down your face now, thinking about your friends who stayed behind. 

You crawl out from under Daryl to get a closer look. Behind one of the sandbags, you see a blonde ponytail pop up.

“Oh my god,” you cry out, hitting Daryl’s arm. You point. “Look!” He leans in, and the two of you watch Andrea and Dale stumble towards the RV. “They made it,” you sigh, leaning back in the seat. Daryl leans back too, chest heaving. 

The two of you sit there for a moment, catching your breath and taking in the destruction around you. Eventually, you hear the RV’s engine start up. Daryl puts the keys in the ignition of the truck, starting it too. He turns and looks at you.

You place a hand on his thigh. “So forever, huh?” you ask.

A small smirk reaches his lips. “Yup,” he says, putting the truck into gear. He wraps his arm around your shoulders, pulling you across the bench seat and into his side. “Forever.”

@feelings

Amuseable Storm Cloud

Ko-fi / Instagram

Half a Dixon master list

Jamison Dixon x Rick grimes

° smut

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5 °

Chapter 6

Chapter 7 °

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

One Way or Another

Summary: When your brother Bonnie warns you about the darkness lurking beneath Tommy Shelby’s charming exterior, you heed his advice and break up. However, a vengeful Tommy vows to get you back and his ruthless tactics are worse than you could have imagined. 

Author's Note: Requested by a lovely anon who wanted to see dark!Tommy manipulate a reader into staying with him using Charlie as leverage. 

Warnings: language, dark!Tommy, manipulative behavior, allusion to non con (no graphic description), assault, discussion of pregnancy and adoption

You'd noticed the handsome, blue-eyed man the moment you and your family arrived in Small Heath. Intrigued by the mystery surrounding his enormous wealth and influence, you disobeyed your father's orders and began sneaking into town to catch a glimpse of Mr. Thomas Shelby. He soon took note of you as well, lavishing attention and gifts on you.

You even met his son Charlie a few times in his father's office. Giving voices to the toy horses and soldiers he would bring, the chubby toddler would laugh and grasp at your cheeks. You loved his laughter and often wished he was your own child. "You're a natural, sweetheart,” Tommy praised with a wide grin, which made you anxious for something more with him. You found yourself daydreaming about becoming Mrs. Shelby and giving him another baby.

Tommy wasn’t shy about expressing his own desire to you. A bottle of whisky and a sour mood had led him to confess that Charlie was not his son. He claimed it was an error in his judgement of character that would not happen again. This time he wanted things done in the proper way with the right woman, he said. You’d melted on the spot when he took your head between his large palms and kissed you full. His advances would escalate in the following meetings as he learned of your purity, more enamored with you than ever. You knew it was only a matter of time before he proposed to make you his completely.

However, someone in camp must have taken note of your frequent visits to Shelby properties because word quickly got back to your brother, Bonnie. "Y/n, what are you doing with him? He's not good for ya," he said furrowing his brow in concern.

"What do you mean, Bon?" you asked curiously.

“Don’t you know? You must,” he insisted, underestimating your youthful naivete. 

"He's the leader of the Peaky Blinders, Y/n. He's responsible for cuttings and beatings…murders. No one is safe round him. Not even you," he warned ominously.

"Surely not," you said, shaking your head in disbelief. Tommy was an upstanding businessman, or so you thought.

"Y/n, please listen to me," your older brother begged, sliding closer to you. "I wasn't supposed to tell you,” he said in a low, conspiratorial tone, “but Da and I are here to kill his enemies. And there's a long list. You don't want anything to do with Tommy Shelby, trust me," he stressed twisting his cap in his hands. 

After a lengthy conversation about everything he knew, including the murder of Tommy’s first wife, you were shaking with fear. Bonnie wasn’t easily spooked and it bothered you to see him this upset. “Alright, I'll keep my distance," you agreed, witnessing his agitation.

Bonnie sighed with relief, but you noted an apologetic tinge to his voice when he said, "I only want to keep you safe.”

You reached for his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I know," you assured him and he relaxed back into his chair.

True to your word, you broke things off with Tommy the next day. You tried to be careful, explaining it in every conceivable way except the real reason. In your usual self effacing manner you babbled away to ease your nerves. "I'm much too young for you, Tommy. You'll get bored of me and everything I don't know. Surely you want someone more...experienced," you blushed.

Although he seemed to listen intently without judgment, inwardly he was fuming. It was your omission that told him everything he needed to know. Someone close to you had warned you off and he was certain it was your father or brother, perhaps both.

As you left his office that day, Tommy began plotting to get you back. Preferably in a manner that would punish you and your family. He would win you one way or another. Gambling was his livelihood after all and the odds were always in his favor.

----------------------

Two weeks later...

You heard Tommy's footsteps thudding on the stairs behind you, slowly and methodically. The rhythm pounded inside your skull like a drum, driving you to the brink of hysteria and quickening your own steps. He was frighteningly calm despite your obvious distress as though he enjoyed humiliating you. 

"Come back to bed, love," he urged in a saccharine voice that turned your stomach.  

Your body shivered in reply as you headed toward the sitting room in search of your coat. Blinking back the tears at your lash line and biting your tongue until it bled, you promised yourself you wouldn't let him see you cry. It had been the same tactic you used that morning when your father admitted he'd gambled away your innocence in a scrap metal yard when Tommy goaded him into a coin toss.

"You're going to allow this?" Bonnie yelled at your father, pacing the floor in anxious rage reserved for fight days. 

Placing yourself between him and the two blinders who had come to collect you, you mumbled, “I'll be alright.” It was a meager attempt to convince him and yourself. Turning to your father you asked, “It’s only one night?”

Watching from the corner of the room, deathly still, your father replied "I hope so." But his eyes were wide and filled with terror, the likes of which you'd never seen. 

A harsh tug on your elbow startled you out of yourself as Tommy towered over you. "Where do you think you're going, eh?" he asked tightening his grip, all attempts at gentle tactics now vanished.

"I'd like to go home to my family," you choked out desperately, fingers ghosting over his in a vain attempt to soften his grasp. If he held any affection for you, perhaps he would allow you to leave with a shred of dignity.

He smirked wickedly at your cowering form, “I don’t think you understand, love. This is your home now." Tucking your disheveled hair behind your ear to reveal a bite mark on your shoulder he added, "We're just getting started, you and I." His thumb traced a dark bruise forming higher up on your neck and you winced as he pressed into it. He placed a kiss to your lips and murmured against you, “Going to tell me how much you loved having me inside you, filling you up?” 

His nose brushed against yours as you pulled away. Taking a deep breath, you attempted to steady your voice. “Tommy, how can you expect me to stay after you hurt me like that?” you asked, eyes burning with tears as you relived the pain inflicted on your body and heart as you realized he’d never meant a word he said to you when you were courting.

“Everyone’s first time is like that, sweetheart. It couldn’t be helped,” he replied, caressing your cheek. You felt the bile rising in your throat as you thought of how rough he’d been, holding you down and rutting into you like an animal without any regard for your comfort. 

Mustering all your courage you asserted, “I don’t want it like that ever again.”

Tommy chuckled, “Every woman says that until she wants a baby. Then you'll be begging for it.”

You shook your head as you spat, “I don’t want a family with you.”

His eyes narrowed, large hand sliding down over your midsection as he tsked, “A bit late for that. You might already be carrying my child. What will you do then?” he asked with raised eyebrow.

“I don’t know, but I wouldn’t ask anything of you and I don't want..."

"I don't give a fuck want you want," he interrupted, eyes blazing with fury. "You belong to me,” he hissed, hand snaking down to your throat. 

“No!” you shouted, fighting against him. You were paralyzed by the feeling of your airway constricting under his crushing grip, reducing you to pathetic whimpers. He squeezed until your lungs burned from lack of oxygen, your fingertips scrabbling for his wrist and clawing uselessly. 

Leaning to whisper into the shell of your ear, hot breath fanned over you along with his terrifying words, “You don’t want to make things worse now, do you?”

Just as your vision turned dark, he relinquished you and you fell to the floor gasping for breath. Between coughing fits, you became aware of the housekeeper, Mary, standing in the room. When Tommy had summoned her you weren’t sure. Perhaps you had lost consciousness at some point because she stood with Charlie in her arms and the ringing in your ears soon turned to shrill crying. 

“Ch-Charlie?” you asked, reaching for the child with a hint of a smile in hopes of cheering him.The brightness returning to your eyes told Tommy all he needed to know. With clenched jaw, he  jerked his chin and Mary left the room as quickly as she had appeared. “What’s she doing?” you mumbled, attempting to stand despite the fuzzy feeling swimming inside your head.

Tommy didn’t answer, pretending as though he hadn’t heard you. He picked up the phone, adopting a business like tone, and began, “Good evening, put me through to Sister Agatha.” 

You could still hear Charlie’s desperate sobs echoing down the corridor as Tommy greeted the woman on the other end of the line. Standing on wobbly legs, you hesitated with uncertainty, wishing to comfort the boy. However, your attention was brought back to the cruel words you overheard next. Your jaw dropped as you heard Tommy proclaim, “Send someone to collect the child tonight.”

You scrambled toward him, a look of horror crossing your face. “What have you done?”

Tommy stood like a brick wall, cold and impenetrable. “What necessity dictates, my darling.”

“I d-don’t understand,” you stuttered at his heartless action.

Taking his time to light a cigarette and toss the match into the fireplace, Tommy smoked quietly for a few moments before ushering Mary back into the room. He took Charlie from her and placed the toddler in your trembling arms as your eyes darted between them. Within a few minutes the boy settled, his cheek resting upon your shoulder. As your hand caressed his golden curls, his cries turned to quiet hiccups and you felt the gentle motion of his thumb sucking before his limbs grew heavy with sleep.

“Tommy, what’s going on?” you begged to know as fresh tears slid down your cheeks. “Why are you behaving this way?”

Tommy stalked to you in three long strides, forcing your chin to meet his gaze. Icy blue stare cutting into you sharply, he scolded, “You’re the one forcing me to do these things.”

You tried to shake your head in adamant denial, but his harsh grip kept you in place. Through pinched cheeks you sputtered, “I never told you…”

“But you did,” he bit back. “Weren’t you the one saying you wanted to leave? That you didn’t want a family with me?” He threw your chin away in disgust as your brain reeled.

“You’re twisting my words…” you protested. “Of course, Charlie should stay.”

Just then a knock came at the door, followed by two nuns announcing themselves as representatives of St. Hilda’s. You backed into a corner, holding Charlie to your body protectively, heart beating wildly as you thought of a way to save him.

“What a darling little boy," one of the nuns chirped despite the late hour. Then she added carefully, "May I take him now?”

Tommy caught your eyes from across the room, “Go on, sweetheart,” he urged. “Unless you’ve changed your mind?” 

----------------------

Tag List:

@peakyswritings

@evita-shelby

@shelbydelrey

@alanadetigy

@severewobblerlightdragon

@lovemissyhoneybee

@theshelbyslimited

@kittycatcait219

@callsign-fangirl

@notyour-valentine

@areyenotfondofmelobster

@polishcrazyone

@elenavampire21

@little-diable

@lyarr24

@jomarch-wannabe

@the-fangirl-diaries

@kmc1989

@stilestotherescue

@helen06dreamer

@chaosinkest1996

@pietroxreader

@thomashelbyswife

@peakyltd

@gypsy-girl-08

@look-at-the-soul

@calummss

@kpopgirlbtssvt

@dandelionprints

@l1-l4

@rangerelik

@babayaga67

@runnning-outof-time

@brummiereader

@cillmequick

@call-sign-shark

LADY OF THE DAWN

Tommy Shelby x Reader

Summary: Tommy doesn't care about her, right? So why would he be bothered that John wants to marry Y/N? Tommy's stubbornness and the inability to process feelings will get heavily tested after he hears the news from his younger brother. ”Speak now or remain silent forever” part of the official's speech says. What's he going to do?

Warnings: name calling, angst, argument, swearing, Tommy's got issues

Notes: I'm really proud of this one. Let me know what y'all think in the comments!

Thomas' hand froze mid air as he was reaching for the cigarette hanging from his lips.

John looked at him with a frown, eyes narrowing at the weird tone of his brother's voice.

”I'm marrying Y/N Y/L/N.” He repeated with confidence, leaning back with his chin tilted upwards. Silence followed his words, as nobody dared to speak purely because of the way that air thickened.

”You're what?” His voice boomed through the Garrison, getting the attention of each family member.

Seemingly unreasonably.

”Don't worry, Tom. It doesn't change anything, I'll keep fulfilling my duties as Shelby.” John added, taking a gulp of whiskey from his glass, feeling the burning fluid flow down his throat. He didn't want to argue or be on bad terms with Thomas, not only because they were family, but also because he knew how much of a pain in the ass he could be as his boss. Hearing it, Thomas snorted taking a drag from a cigarette.

”You're marrying a whore, John?” His voice was low, full of mockery as he fearlessly looked his brother in the eyes. Usually Tom could be more sensitive and understanding when he had to, especially when it comes to family, so even Polly was surprised by his harsh approach.

”She's done with it. Besides, we all know her since we were children. Don't act like you don't know why she ended up doing it.” John barked back, as his patience ran off in a split second.

Confused thoughts filled his busy mind, seeing the determined face of his younger brother. The left leg started pouncing, hard sole of his polished shoe clicked against the floor.

John and Y/N.

Whore. The bitterness of the name that he used to describe her filled his mouth, leaving a bad taste. Reaching for his glass, Thomas knocked it back leaving it empty as the alcohol washed it away. Clearing his throat before he spoke, Tommy chuckled again. Gaze shifted from the empty space he stared in, onto John's face. Tensed jaws and sharp gaze seemed to be flowing in their blood, as both brothers shared the same body language.

Neither of them knew why, as it felt like.. like a battle. Over what? John's confusion showed in his blue eyes, and Tommy took it as a sign of weakness, furrowing his eyebrows with a smirk on his face. Upper hand.

”As long as you're happy, brother.” Words snaked from between his lips in such a velvety, sarcastic way that Arthur's alarms went off, seeing how John's breathing picked up on pace. The whole family could see the harsh, mocking look in his eyes and intimidating body language. The one that he usually saved for the coppers or enemies whenever they tried to reach for the Shelby family.

”Enough of that. This thick atmosphere makes me want to daft.” Ada spoke, her voice sharp and loud as she held her round belly with both hands, easing the tension in the room.

”How do you feel, Ada?” Polly asked, smiling at her niece. Her stomach was getting bigger with each passing week, and soon enough little Karl would be born.

Thomas remained seated for a couple minutes, before he scoffed, getting up. John's gaze fell at his brother again, and their eyes locked before Tommy nodded, turning around as he wordlessly walked out of the Garrison.

Lighting another cigarette, he wondered why his own reaction was so strong. Calming down his breathing, the blue eyed man tilted his head back. Taking a deep breath he felt the tension leaving his body as his muscles relaxed slightly.

Why did he get so combative over such insignificant news?

Y/N hummed to herself, doing laundry in her apartment. Usually she'd use the gramophone, but now it only stood in the corner, broken and not working. Teasing with its promising appearance, so she stopped noticing it entirely. It would be too expensive to fix it anyway.

Her whole apartment wasn't too big, yet big enough to be one of the prettiest places she lived in. Coming from a broken house that couldn't ever be called a home. Pulled into prostitution by her own mother at the young age of seventeen, only a year ago she managed to escape the nightmare, finding a job as a seamstress, she wasn't making thousands, but it was more than enough.

It provided money, roof above her head and.. waking up without feeling disgusted as soon as her eyes opened. She was free. Not stripped by her own dignity and choices anymore.

Y/N became her own woman.

She knew Shelby's since childhood, growing up shoulder to shoulder in Small Heath, at one point they all used to be friends. Sharing pains and joys, before they.. stopped. And it never came back, not fully.

Still in contact, Thomas at one point became her.. client. Coming over every time he'd need it, fuck her wordlessly and leave under the cover of darkness, leaving banknote on the bedsheets behind. Even after she stopped working that way, Thomas kept coming back.

”Stop paying” She begged. Commanded. Warned. Threatened. She tried everything, but he never did. So he became the only reminder of the wounding past, causing periods of depression after each of his visits. So eventually, she stopped opening the door.

He'd knock, at night or during the day but she never opened. Not ready to meet the judgemental gaze, temporarily full of lust and.. understanding, coated in some warm feelings that she never believed in. Man too proud to approach her in public, asking why she would ignore him.

Thomas Shelby was a devil himself, and she didn't believe that he could have any warm bone in his body. Not ever since he grew up, burying the boy that he used to be in the mud. Completely opposite to his younger brother.

John was kind. Funny. Understanding. Handsome. He was everything that every girl could dream of. Y/M always kept him at a distance, not wanting to hurt him by not being able to love him the way he deserved.

What would she say? ”I'm sorry John, I can't give you my heart. Your brother has it, despite being the most heartless and cruel man I've ever met.”?

She wouldn't dare. Looking in the baby blue eyes, full of gentleness and all the love that he could give. John deserved better. But once in her life, she wanted to act selfishly. Whole life doing everything to please people around, she was.. tired. Y/N wanted to be taken care of. Be.. be loved.

So when John showed up one day with a ring in his hand, she accepted gracefully, smiling so hard that her cheeks hurt.

Deep in her thoughts, Y/N smiled at the gentle weight of the ring on her finger. It felt... Good. Her sweet bubble burst, as soon as she heard a knock on the door. With a sigh she got on her feet, heading to the entrance before swinging them open, expecting it to be John or Ada with congratulations.

As soon as she saw the sapphire blue eyes, she tried to close the door right back, but it was too late. His big, rough hand rested on the wooden surface as he pushed them open, marching into her apartment unceremoniously.

”What do you want?” She asked in an emotionless tone before he'd even manage to speak up. One that was the only way she could talk to him without exposing any of her feelings to the dark haired man who stood in the living room, leaning back on the dresser as he smoked, not worried about whether she'd allow it or not.

”So John, eh?” He asked, the tense smirk on his pink lips that was supposed to come out as cocky, appeared way more angry, showing his true emotions. Anger. The only emotion that he never managed to hide from her.

”What do you want, Thomas?” She repeated harshly, not letting him to pull her into his mind games. Thomas chuckled at her combative approach before he put out his cigarette into the ashtray, slowly walking through the apartment. His hands shoved into his pockets, as he tried to be as calm as he could be.

”So that's why you ignored me, eh? To get with my brother.” Tommy spoke up, as he kept walking, hand tracing over the random decorations standing on the shelf before he touched a framed picture. Picture of her and John. He huffed under his breath before turning back to face her. Peaky cap sitting neatly on his head, so low that it was throwing shadow over his eyes. If it wasn't for his powerful blue gaze, they would be nearly invisible. ”That's what you want, eh? To be a Shelby?” He chuckled taking a step forward. ”You're too weak to be one, Y/N. Back off while you still can.” He warned.

”Been handling you for years, haven't I?” She shot back, keeping eye contact. She couldn't afford to show her how weak she really was.

Thomas smirked, tilting his head to the side. ”It paid well.” He replied very calmly, but she could hear the venom in his voice. Deep down Y/N was confused at why he was acting like that. Going out of his way to stop at her apartment and.. argue? It was difficult to determine what it exactly was. But his usual self wouldn't be bothered to stop at her place if he didn't want to fuck.

”Not once I fucking demanded you to pay. I pleaded with you for years to stop doing it.” She said, much louder this time. Y/N knew that he just wanted to hurt her. Her finger was pointing at his chest as she took a step forward, before her gaze became stoic again. ”I pleaded, until i... Until I realized that it was your inner issue that was making you pay. Your need to stay above any kind of intimacy was making you pay me. So I stopped protesting.” She spoke, head held high without shame. Her gaze made him.. embarrassed as she exposed the struggle that he didn't know she ever saw. He hated when she was right when it came to him. Thomas' huffed, trying to laugh it off but one glance at her serious expression made him drop his gaze for a moment before looking back up. ”...but it doesn't matter now, Thomas. If you came for a fuck, you can leave. Because I'm not going to touch you.” Her voice was so calm, body language fully closed on him. He felt... Locked out, and the weird, painful tingling in his chest got more intense. His anger rose even more as her face seemed to be unbothered by his words. By his presence.

”You're using him to become a Shelby.” He stated, not bothered by the fact that he was being unreasonable. ”You got with him, because you knew that you wouldn't get it from me. Because you could find it there.” He pointed at the bed. ”There” at the couch. ”But not here.” He hissed, pointing at the left side of his chest, where his heart kept pounding.

Did he come here to torture me? She wondered, feeling the old scars on her heart opening up further with each word.

”I never expected anything from you, Thomas. Especially not feelings. Your heart is cold and dead like a rock.” Y/N said, not showing even slightly her hurt. Her face remained emotionless as she shrugged. ”You're... You're..” She tried to add, but her voice started breaking slightly. Tommy didn't notice it, too influenced by where the sentence was heading.

”What? A monster? C'mon, love. Let me hear it.” His hard exterior broke, and Y/N caught a glimpse of the panic behind the fury in his eyes. The mocking smile on his face was nothing but the last line of defense. She shook her head.

”No, you're not a monster. But you desperately try to appear as one and... And it works.” She stuttered out, hugging herself lightly as she took a step back to regain some confidence.

Thomas was furious that she already managed to get to him. To dig into his mind and dig out the most painful and hidden things. Pacing back and forth, he ran his hand over his face, visibly angry. She stripped him from his mask, defense and his collected composure.

Y/N could see how angry, bothered and uncomfortable he was. She just... Wanted it to end. The stagnation, foolishness hopefulness as she waited for him just weeks ago. Waiting for something to change despite each meeting ending with tears in her eyes and pain in her heart.

”Just go, Tommy.” She replied, quietly, gaze shifting down at the floor. The atmosphere in the room got weirdly... Sensitive and intimate, but she didn't let herself become hopeful.

His head shot up at her words, and seeing her body language her realized that... It wasn't any kind of game. She wasn't trying to get back at him or make him jealous by getting with John. She was... Tired. Hurt. The realization hit hard as he understood that he himself was one of the thorns in the crown she carried around. Willingly.

The mask from his face slipped, hitting the ground in the silence that hung in the air between them, revealing the panic and confused feelings. Revealing how he couldn't handle the feelings that grew in his chest years ago, which roots slowly but surely climbed upwards to his heart. To his mind, leading to the point where they were now.

Standing in her tiny flat, broken and confused. Lost in the race to not fail, to not bow their heads towards each other.

”What the fuck do you want from me, Y/N? Confessions? You won't get them.” He stated, pacing back and forth. Y/N didn't look up, listening to the clicking of his shoes against her wooden floor.

She just shook her head, taking a deep breath out of how tiring the whole interaction was. But before she could say anything, he yelled again.

”What the fuck do you want me to do! You.. you can't marry him, you don't even fucking love him, do you? It's a lie. A fucking lie, Y/N.” his voice was full of frustration, as he took off his cap, setting it on the table.

She shifted uncomfortably at her feet. He was honest, not hiding anymore so she couldn't lie either.

Shaking her head lightly she sighed, confessing.

”N-no, I don't. But with time.. with time maybe i will. With him I have the chance to be loved. To love and not hurt.” She explained in a quiet voice, and Thomas couldn't look at her while she spoke. Looking down in shame he felt how tense his body was, stomach filled with anxiety and pain at the whole conversation.

”What do you want? Jewelry? Big house? Clothes? Name it, Y/N. Name it and I will fucking get it for you.” He hissed, taking a step forward with his finger pointing at her silhouette, causing just anger in her previously calm self. She bolted out from the place she was standing on, as she stood eye to eye with him, her fists landing on his chest in a couple hits as she yelled.

”I don't! Want! Your fucking! Money!” Each word pronounced clearly and in a rhythm with her blows. ”I just want to be loved, you son of a bitch!”

Her closeness affected him even more, as the distance between them was the one thing that helped him think clearly during the whole conversation. Stopping her series of blows, Thomas grabbed her wrists, pulling her closer as he leaned his forehead on hers with a sigh, shaking it lightly.

”Don't.” He pleaded. ”Don't make me say it. Not now. I need time, you... You need to give it to me. Time to learn.” He whispered, stuttering as he tried to make sense in his words.

”You need to go, Tommy.” She whispered back and his grip on her wrists became even stronger, nearly bruising. She didn't even wince, already used to his rough touch, manhandling and his struggle with being affectionate even to his family.

”Don't marry him.” He repeated, her words falling on deaf ears. Pulling her closer, he let out a shallow breath as their noses brushed against each other. His eyes were squeezed shut. ”You feel it. I know you do.” He said quietly, almost like someone else would hear them. ”I feel it too.” Thomas added in a low tone, whisper so quiet that she could act like it never happened.

Her head was a mess, the sensation of his body warmth being so close to her. His almost gentle touch on her cheeks. The words that she waited years to hear. Y/N felt almost dizzy.

”What do you want from me, Thomas” She asked, but the question got interrupted by her heavy sigh.

He was quiet for a second, jaw clenched tight as he thought how to word it without making himself feel even more pathetic.

”I want you to... To not marry him. To give me time and.. and teach me how you want it.” He went around the whole topic, choosing words carefully and stuttering lightly which made her chuckle silently, a tiny smile appearing on her lips. Heavy sigh.

”You're a pain in my ass, Thomas Shelby.” She said, letting her body get softer in his hands as he carefully wrapped his arms around her waist. This touch was different, and he knew it. That is what was making him so nervous. So... Uncomfortable.

Laughing quietly he wondered if it was really that easy. If things would be different way sooner if he really tried, just like now. He moved closer, hugging his cheek to her own, wet lips grazing over her skin in the meantime before he chuckled.

”Come on, I'm not that bad. I.. can be better, I think.” He said, before letting his hands slide down her body, but she caught them quickly, pulling away.

”No, no, no. We're not doing anything. And we won't for a long time.” She stated, seeing a smirk on his lips, but as her expression became more serious, his followed. Another sigh.

”Tom, if I'm about to wait, I need... Need more than this.“ She tried her best to hide the desperation in her voice, not really successfully.

He stopped smiling, as he sighed again becoming.. nervous once more. Frustrated. She waited, allowing herself to grow hopeful. Just one last time. So she waited.

Waited as minutes passed, but he didn't say anything, looking in his head for the right words. Only when her expression dropped, saddened by his inability to say what she needed, he pushed it through his throat.

”I... I want you to teach me how to love you the way you need.” He said, boldly looking into her eyes. It was the one moment that he needed to man up, to save the chance that he kept losing for years.

Almost gave it up for his brother.

”Fucking please.” He added, grabbing her hand. Tears swelled in her eyes as she laughed quietly, touched by his words and actions. It was so... New. So exciting.

Nodding weakly, she pulled him closer, throwing herself into his embrace. Thomas froze for a moment, before he hugged her back, letting out a shaky breath. They stood like that for a moment, before he mumbled an apology.

”For what?” She asked.

”Everything. For... Everything.” He mumbled into her neck, and she smiled again. ”What now?” He asked eventually, as she pulled away from him.

Y/N smiled, looking at the ring on her finger as she played with it for a minute, seeing how Tommy's eyes widened. Only a couple moments later she fully took it out, putting it in his hand.

”Now... Now you will go and talk to your brother. Confess to what you did.” She said seriously, tucking her hair behind her ear. Thomas knew she was serious, and after so many years of bad treatment, he didn't have the right to bargain.

He nodded slowly, knowing that he'll have to face him, better sooner than later. Y/N moved out of the way, gesturing at the door and he rolled his eyes with a light smile, before he pulled the cap onto his head as he headed to the entrance.

Passing by Y/N he leaned down, puckering out his lips for a kiss that never came as she shook her head. ”Nu-uh. For now I'm engaged.” She said, and he roed his eyes again, escaping her apartment.

When he was a couple metres away she yelled.

”Shelby!” Making him stop and turn around, looking up to her. Y/N dropped something shiny towards him, which he caught into his calloused hand.

As soon as he opened it, the shiny one pound coin caught his eye. Looking up at her with a question in his eyes, he made Y/N laugh.

”Thanks for the visit, Shelby.” She added, looking down at him with a smirk and chin tilted up. Realization hit him as she closed the door, and Tommy stood for a moment looking at the shiny coin in his hand before he tucked it into his pocket.

...and that's how Thomas Shelby had to become a whore to save the chance for love, that he nearly lost.

Taglist:

@everyonesawhore @forgottenpeakywriter @muhahaha303 @cilliansprincess @shynovelist @pet1t3 @trixie23 @1nterstellarcha0s @tommyshelbywhore @gaslysainz @star017 @greenshinigamieyes @c6llian @lau219 @no-fooking-fighting @sagemastah @honeymoon8 @in0320 @hanawrites404 @femefetalelevelingup @shroombloom-rry @shelbysproperty @sunpuffsstuff @pinguwrites @fvllenstqr @anxietybutterfly @thatonesinglefriend