Dust-of-embers - Dust Of Embers - Tumblr Blog

At Herculaneum, keep getting it mixed up with Heraklion.

Went to pompei yesterday, got lost, map didn’t work, still much cool.

NSFW below

So this was the gift shop in a restaurant… I’m not sure why I’m surprised

I also got to feed a very friendly cat in the pompei ruins, it licked my fingers, very fun.

thank you live photos for capturing the macbeth curtain call slap twirl and hair flip

This is just if Howl cosplayed the Witch of the Waste

dingdingding who wouldve guessed it ! its bill cipher ! wow !

before i settled on thewhole mask thinghe was gonna hav this bigass hat but it clashed with the fur too much so idecided against it

YEESS MY POST BUTTON SI WORKING

Have some cats

So, we have some street cats in Crete

Then we have a hungry Knossos cat, who ate my sandwich

He didn’t get any ice cream tho.

Back to mainland, Delphi was mid (for me, the fucking hills are too much and the tour guide would not move her mouth away from the microphone even slightly for the entire bus ride), but the cats were top tier.

We have the ones outside a museum, plus a tortoise who scared calico

I named a few

The orange one tried to eat my hand after I fed him my leftover bolognese meat, there was also a cat who was very pregante.

WHY IS POST HAIR FLIP DAVID TENNANT MY GENDER ENVY, WHAT THE FUCK

can't believe I just upskirted David Tennant for 2 hours. front row is crazy

Hello, sorry for the pointless reblog, my write post button isn’t working.

I have a few posts planned for Greece, but I’m now in Italy, my feet hurt, and the ferrie I was just on was absolutely horrible.

Cat pictures coming soon, cuz Delphi is full of cats, and I love them all.

My pre acropolis post won’t post T^T

Is it the penis bottle openers?? Help

ATTENTION MONSTER CAMP FOLKS

i made the mistake of fast clicking through a scenario i hadn't found yet, one where Dahlia and Coach are trying to get the "perfect first date badge" and i think theres a dream where we date, and then wake up and two days have passed, and Dahlia says "do peaches and plums mean anything to you?" which sounds a hell of a lot like a magicians reference

i need to find it again and go through the dialog to see if i missed a full queliot reference

o7

Bucky has watched one (1) movie since he’s escaped Hydra

Scratch what I said in Ireland, THIS FERRIE IS FUCKING ENORMOUS

THERE IS A POOL BAR SOMEWHERE

THERE IS A SHOWER IN HERE, THERE ARE MULTIPLE ESCELATORS, WHAT IN THE FUCK

I need this in a fic, hell, I’ll write this fic if I have to, I’m gonna be on a 15 hour Ferrie ride

Bucky has watched one (1) movie since he’s escaped Hydra

My pre acropolis post won’t post T^T

Is it the penis bottle openers?? Help

Acropolis museum post time!!

I’ll try to limit the photos… there are lots

These were such good cloth studies

The Greeks like their statues with cake I see…

I drew some of these but then I got tired and overheated

My family is still staying in half of the church that wasn’t affected by the bombing because there is nowhere else to stay other than tents. They are limited to one small meal a day and one shower a week. They are sleeping on the floors, but no one can sleep since there is bombing everywhere around them. Even when there is no bombing, they can still hear the loud buzzing sound of the military planes above them, which would keep anyone who hears it awake. Along with everything, My grandma has diabetes and osteoporosis, so she can’t walk. She has to take her insulin medication along with many others; however, she has run out of many of her medications.” Am on my knees requesting for donation. Target $450

Boost

Okay bear with me folks, I have some ~thoughts~ about the Vanessa/Wade relationship (or frankly lack thereof) in Deadpool & Wolverine. I should start by saying that I am analyzing this with the (likely erroneous) assumption that everything on screen is 100% intentional and mindfully written to deepen the characters and inform their arcs. For the record, I don't necessarily believe that's true - there is certainly room for mistakes, lazy writing, confusing plot elements, or in this case, sidelining a potentially strong and important character for nebulous reasons (I'm guessing scheduling conflicts + run time concerns + actor's strike complications but idk for sure). (Also thanks to @gossippool and @kendyroy for encouraging me to post my thoughts instead of just rambling in the tags in the first place, y'all are the realest)

Long rambly post below the cut fyi

Now, granted, it has been a while since I watched the original Deadpool so I am not as well-versed in their early relationship as I am in the handful of scenes Morena Baccarin has in dp3, but I do think it is pretty canon that Wade generally struggles to express his deeper worries and feelings (without filtering it heavily through crude humor, sex, and pop culture references of course), especially after the events of dp1 and the physical and mental damage he sustains, and Vanessa is frankly no exception despite how much he cares for her. The entire first movie hinges on the fact that he doesn't really believe she could love him in his post-Francis mangled state, which is pretty contrived imo given that the film has established already how bonded they are, and she doesn't strike me as being written to be so shallow as to reject him based on a physical deformity. I mean iirc she wanted to stick around through chemo despite him being literally riddled with inoperable cancer, so she clearly is in it for the long haul (at least in dp1), messiness and all.

Now, in dp2, obviously she is shot and killed early in the film, and Wade spends much of the rest of the film wallowing in his very profound grief, trauma, and guilt over losing her due directly to his violent lifestyle. He goes to prison, he basically gives up on life and seems very resigned to dying once he has the power suppressant collar on, even excited to do so so he can be reunited with her. She is mostly sidelined as a Fuzzy Dead Wife trope basically, but the important thing here is that he spends weeks if not months in the throes of despair over losing the love of his life just as they were trying to start a family, and trying to reach across the boundaries of death to be with her.

Now, my first couple times watching dp3 I was frustrated by the trite narrative presented in the interview scene towards the beginning - specifically Wade's whole "my girl is getting tired of my shtick and I need to show her I matter". It felt contrived and disingenuous, and I just brushed it off as iffy writing, a means to an end, but the more I reflect upon it the more I think it is based in an emotional reality that is just handled with a very light touch by the film in favor of fanservice and Poolverine content (NOT that I'm complaining in the slightest - I think this movie is a masterpiece in many ways, albeit a flawed one but that's beside the point here), which for the record I am not against because I think it lends it an air of realism. This is Wade's story after all, Vanessa is a part of it but it is ultimately about him and his journey.

Basically, I think the combination of what happened to him in dp1 (the brain damage, the trauma, the awareness of the fourth wall, etc) followed by the events of dp2 (Vanessa's death, his grief and the associated guilt and trauma of being the direct cause of her death) led to an unbridgeable emotional gap between the two of them that ultimately leads to their breakup.

It's important to note that I don't think Vanessa has any recollection of her own death, given that Wade goes back and saves her before she can take the bullet, and so of course she can never fully fathom what Wade went through grieving her and their life together and their potential family, for however long he spent between her death and bringing her back with Cable's device. She can try (and she clearly does in the one scene I'll talk about next) but I fear she accepts, maybe even in that scene, that she can never succeed. He is beyond her reach by this point, and vice versa, his experiences having fundamentally changed him.

The one scene we really see from their relationship between dp2 and dp3 is the one where Cassandra mind-gropes Wade in the Void and we see Vanessa struggling to reach Wade across this aforementioned gap - she wants him to open up, she wants him to share what he's going through, she wants him to be the person she initially fell in love with (not even selfishly - to her nothing has changed really, because to her no time has passed). But not only does he not understand what she's really asking for but he responds in such a way that makes me think he has unprocessed issues that are only tangentially related to what she's saying - ie the stuff about mattering, about asking her if she even wants to be with him, etc. And he's not the Wade Wilson she met back in dp1 anymore. He watched her die and grieved her and brought her back, believing it would make everything go back to normal and they could resume their life together as if nothing had changed, but he has been fundamentally changed in a way that she can't grasp, even if he WAS good at externally processing his trauma openly without the artifice of wry jokes. She didn't "come back wrong" - instead, she came back exactly the same as before, but HE'S different now. Not wrong, per se. But changed.

It's an interesting scene because it's obviously a memory, and a crucial one at that, but you can see how Wade is misunderstanding what she's saying, viewing it through the prism of his own lack of self-worth and his own hopelessness - he takes away that she thinks he doesn't matter (even though like he says she didn't actually say that, but I don't think Cassandra invented that wholecloth - I think she pulled it out of his psyche because that's what he believes deep down, hence why his fixation on mattering even though she never said those words exactly), he takes away that she doesn't want to be with him, that she thinks he's nothing. Which would be frustrating as an audience member to witness as a pretty simple misunderstanding which could potentially be solved with one conversation, but it feels believable to me that these two people who have shared a great love would be fundamentally separated by unimaginable, cosmic trauma, and the on conversation they would need to have to rectify the misunderstanding is one that is impossible for Wade to verbalize and equally impossible for Vanessa to conceive of. It was one thing when they had shared trauma like violence and SA in dp1, but what Wade has gone through in dp1 and dp2, humor aside, is unfathomably traumatic, brain-breakingly so even, and that's not even factoring in the possible mental illnesses he now struggles with (I've seen folks suggest schizophrenia, DID, depression, etc. but I won't get into armchair diagnosing a fictional character here - suffice it to say he is canonically unwell as a result of what has happened to him, and yes it manifests as quirky fourth wall breaks and cheeky one-liners, but within the universe of the movies he is undeniably profoundly mentally ill, and that includes this humorous alter ego he created to cope with his trauma).

I think off-screen Vanessa probably really tried to reach him, maybe for years (the six year gap implies to me that they didn't break up immediately, that they tried for a while to stay together), trying to get her Wade back, but that Wade is gone. He struggled to express that to her until eventually he started to feel rejected because he couldn't express his trauma or how much he has changed, because even he can't fully conceive of the gulf that has formed between them. The truth is, he WANTS to be that Wade again, for her and for himself, but that Wade died when she died. Or maybe he had already started dying when Francis got a hold of him in dp1.

Anyway, all this is to say, I think Morena Baccarin WAS criminally underutilized in dp2 and dp3, but I think there is a strong argument to be made for the believability of their breakup regardless. I think even relationships built on enormous love can crumble due to trauma, and what Wade suffers over these movies is mind-bogglingly enormous trauma. It's especially heartbreaking that he blames himself for their relationship ending, talks like she just got tired of him, thought he didn't matter, whatever. But it is a credit to him that he never seems to feel anger towards her about it. He doesn't seem to feel entitled to her, though he longs for her and what they had and what she represented (hope, love, a future, a family), but ultimately she becomes more of a symbol of what he lost when he gained his powers, because let's be super fr right now - even if they had succeeded in having a baby, not only would they have lived in fear of her or the kid getting killed, but ultimately Wade would likely outlive both of them even if they managed to die natural deaths. The moment he gained his powers he was already destined to lose her, which is heartbreaking because she was the only reason he opted for the treatment in the first place - so he could stay with her.

I think a big part of Deadpool & Wolverine is watching Wade continue to process his own motivations (vis-a-vis Vanessa but also his other friends) and how he does eventually let go of the idea of "mattering" in favor of just saving the people he cares about (*cough* and being saved right back *cough* by Wolvie, as the final line and shot implies). And in the process he finds someone new who cares about him, who thinks he matters, who tries to sacrifice himself for him and his friends after mere days of knowing him, who comes home with him at the end of the story, who breaks his own centuries-old patterns, who has also experienced unimaginable grief and trauma, who has struggled with wanting to die and being unable to, who not only matches his crazy but matches his FREAK and also not only won't die on him but CAN'T die on him - and more importantly cannot be randomly killed by a stray bullet.

Idk if any of this makes much sense but I do think if you read between the lines and consider the potency of trauma and grief, guilt and emotional damage at play here, Vanessa and Wade's off-screen breakup is actually pretty realistic, and really heart-breaking to boot.

You can tell she still cares about him in so many ways - she shows up for his birthday party, she shows up to his welcome home party at the end, she finds excuses for physical contact multiple times, her eyes get soft when she looks at him, but there is a distance there that Morena Baccarin does an incredible job of portraying. She cares about him deeply, she has mourned the loss of their potential life together, she has let him go and accepted that the Wade she fell in love with is gone, but she wants him in her life even though she's moving on because she realizes he's gone somewhere she can't follow (literally and figuratively). And she wants him to be happy which is why I fully believe she would immediately clock the Poolverine of it all and not-so-subtly encourage them to make it official.

Anyway. Poolverine forever. Nothing against Vanessa at all - I think she delivers a nuanced and beautiful performance, I think their relationship is sweet and heart-wrenching in large part due to her acting chops, especially given how little she is given to work with - but I think their relationship was sadly doomed from almost the very start, because Wade becomes this traumatized superhuman and Vanessa would always be at risk in his orbit, but also would always on the outside of his multiverse superhero experiences. I think it's weirdly beautiful, even if I am filling in a lot of gaps and giving the writers maybe undue credit.

Anyway... thoughts? Please DM me or write in the tags, I am feral about this movie and just want to talk about it with anyone haha. If you have further insight into these characters too I'd love to hear it - I am by no means an expert in these movies or characters!

Made it to Greece!

I’m kinda scared since neither me or my mum speak a word of Greek, but my mum knows some other European languages so hopefully we’ll be okay… hopefully…

Dinner… I’m very scared of what to do in Italy, since I like pineapple, I don’t wanna get arrested

Hawaiian pizza with olives is so fucking good!! Ever tried the Swedes weird pizza? I think they have a banana and curry one

dp, i NEED to know what some of ur most deadliest combos for food are. mayo mixed with mustard? or what? plz tell me… u seem like the kind of guy to put tuna on pizza…

did you know that milk curdles when you put lemon in it? not a fan!! also mayo with mustard isn’t even that crazy, ever tried boiled eggs with mustard?

i am the type of guy to have tuna on pizza, but not just any tuna! RAW TUNA. like sashimi! hear me out. try it on a Margherita pizza. and of course, Hawaiian pizza with olives is really good.

i really like mango with chilli as well,,,,

i know this makes me sound like a head case, and i probably am but it’s SOOO GOOODD! also watermelon and feta is really nice (i need help)

cream cheese with cheetos and balsamic is also literally the best thing ever you will ascend to godhood like me when you taste it

caramelised prawns are also crazy good :3

and avocado on toast with capers

This is the evidence I give to the ndis so they will understand that the only reason I’m healthy-ish is cuz they pay someone to listen to my ramblings while I get eaten by goats

Wade: Here's some advice-

Logan: I didn't ask for any.

Wade: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

I love the fact that I only know Canary Warf cuz of Doctor who…

Uhhhh ok, I try my best!!

Three ships: In general or specifically now? Cuz right now it’s mostly Poolverine in terms of shipping, but in general the first that come to mind are Merthur and Lautski.

First ship: I honestly don’t know, depression fucks with memory and I’ve been depressed since 3rd grade, maybe earlier…

Currently watching: not much tbh, everyone I watched on YouTube either doesn’t post or got canceled, so I’m mostly just rewatching OSP videos and trying not to cry much.

Currently reading: several things, my mum is making me read Dune, I’m re-reading Hanako-kun, and I’m waiting on the next volume of Case Study Of Vanitas. And those are just the physical books, most of what I read is fanfic… I have suggestions if you want any and we have fandoms in common.

Last song: uhh, I was listening to the Suzume soundtrack before my headphones died, so lemme check Apple Music… I was incorrect, I was halfway through Nandemonaiya on my anime movies playlist (it’s mostly RADWIMPS).

Last movie: Deadpool 2 I think, I hadn’t watched any Deadpool before I watched Deadpool And Wolverine, so I decided to catch up on my flight from Singapore to Ireland.

Currently craving: is this food specific? Cuz in general right now I want to be in a cold place, it’s too warm and I’m in someone else’s house so I can’t just walk around naked, plus Europe doesn’t believe in air conditioning… but in food terms I’m not super sure, first thing that came to mind was ice, or maybe a boost juice, or some cake, I like cake… and sushi, rice is yummy.

People I’d like to get to know better: uhhh, I assume on tumblr, so I will @ whoever I can remember! @princeloww @icarusredwings you two are the folks I’ve been talking to most in the past few days, so…

I have been summoned by the wonderful and amazing @jesterofalltrades and I'm making it everyone's problem (love you my guy)💙

Three ships: ummm.... Right. We'll right now it's Fiddlestan, Micheal Shelley X Elias Bouchard, and my childhood ship and a constant staple in my life Wolfstar (no I do not support jkr. I haven't bought hp anything since I found out about her bullshit back when I was like 16 or 17. ).

First ship: It was either Wolfstar (I was like 6 when I first saw the movie) or Frostcup(my first wattpad ship). But I don't remember which I actually started thinking about first

Currently watching: Gravity falls

Currently reading: The outsiders. Again

Last Song: Welcome to the show by Britt Nicole

Last movie: Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

Currently eating: nothing rn but last thing I ate was the left over spaghetti I made

Currently craving: Korean bbq. Corn on the cob with butter and salt. Also ice cream. And a nap. A nap would be so good rn honestly.

People I'd like to get to know better: @bugbugboy for sure. Um I'm not sure who else bc I'm bad at remembering names and such. Yeah.

I got the hanako books I was missing!!! Now I’ve got up to 20!

London looks like Melbourne… just with Sydney’s buses and a slight increase in old architecture…

Went to Oxford, my legs hurt a lot, why didn’t they put the bag storage near the train station… it was technically the place was a hotel, but that’s where the train station said we should go. My calves still hurt when moving…

Not very disability friendly, but much architecture fun, and trees!!

I am now staying in a place where my room is up FOUR FLIGHTS OF FUCKING STAIRS, I MUST GO UP AND DOWN THEM TO GET NORISHMENT, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

anyway, now I’m in London, going to Greece on Sunday, currently in a mall that is just a bookstore

Deadpool and Wolverine animatic ideas!

Are you satisfied? (Marina and the diamonds) - Deadpool and Wolverine, idk the context yet

Look who’s inside again (Bo Burnham) - Deadpool

Problematic (Bo Burnham) - Deadpool

Blow me (one last kiss) (glee version, idk where it’s actually from) - Deadpool and Wolverine, idk what context but the vibe fits

Let me make you proud (Tangled the series) - wade wilson

From now on (The Greatest Showman) - Logan at the end of Deadpool and Wolverine

Dirty girl (Nerdy Prudes Must Die) - Deadpool and Wolverine, I think Deadpool as Max… honestly lots of NPMD could work for them, like If I Loved You, the context doesn’t quite fit, but it could still work

Sexy (Mean Girls Musical) - Deadpool, with Wolverine as the second person (I think it’s Kady), and when he says “I’m a sexy mouse” the text on the screen is him telling Logan that they can play cat and mouse… it’s perfect

Empty chairs at empty tables - Wolverine, yes I want him to suffer

What you own (Rent) - Deadpool and Wolverine, figure out details later, I was listening to it and it kinda fit.

You will be found (Dear Evan Hansen) - end of Deadpool and Wolverine

Would you be so kind? (dodie) - Deadpool to Wolverine

Me and my husband (idk who sings it) - Deadpool and Wolverine

To the other side (The Greatest Showman) - Wade as P.T Barnum (ironically), trying to convince Logan to help him at the bar, and when they reach an agreement there’s a timeskip.

"Do you ever dream of land?" The whale asks the tuna.

"No." Says the tuna, "Do you?"

"I have never seen it." Says the whale, "but deep in my body, I remember it."

"Why do you care," says the tuna, "if you will never see it."

"There are bones in my body built to walk through the forests and the mountains." Says the whale.

"They will disappear." Says the tuna, "one day, your body will forget the forests and the mountains."

"Maybe I don't want to forget," Says the whale, "The forests were once my home."

"I have seen the forests." Whispers the salmon, almost to itself.

"Tell me what you have seen," says the whale.

"The forests spawned me." Says the salmon. "They sent me to the ocean to grow. When I am fat with the bounty of the ocean, I will bring it home."

"Why would the forests seek the bounty of the oceans?" Asks the whale. "They have bounty of their own."

"You forget," says the salmon, "That the oceans were once their home."