I Remember The Itch To Grow Up,

I remember the itch to grow up,

To be strong and tall 

like everyone else in their lives.

Shift to the portal of future

that held only bright light and nothing else.

At that time, I didn't believe in tragedy, 

The galaxy in my eyes blinded it away.

For I was just a child aiming at the moon,

With no worry of the past and present 

I only know the moon and it's dreams.

The school days were a breeze,

My childhood, a well lit summer.

I didn't see the hurt in the olders

or the treachery in their shadows.

I just spoke, spoke my heart out.

But the path to the light was so endless,

So long and exhausting with experiences,

With no shade and no arm to lean on.

It hurt, with the realisation of nothingness 

And the dejection of reality.

I, now itch to go back in time,

Steal the deluded, innocent memories 

And orbit them in my mind, until the reel 

is torn and the reality fades,

But my conscious wants to at least let 

the happiness linger with younger me.

If not her, then who else?

Deserving more to keep high the expectations,

to cling onto a deserving future.

Deserving more to feel the warmth in cold tiles

Because I see her and can't help but think I was her.

~ Umme Ayman.

Some like to imagine the dark caress of someone else, I guess any thrill will do.

-Hozier

being lost feels so hollow my anchor's gone. i drove him away sent a piece of my heart in each of the letters its cracked and bruised and forgotten now your words stayed with me forever either casting an ethereal glow or leaving bloodstains that mark me i've hurt and i've bled by your hand but your hand was the one that held mine too no matter how much i try i can't help going back to you got lost and found again, but the scars stayed forever couldn't find myself again, lost in the darkness you held my hand all okay, super spy, crazy together, i love you, so do i burnt from the fire that took the darkness out you don't know it, but you healed me more than the doctors ever could best thing, cool, cool, lost you, not the same, we're friends destroyed the one place i felt safe my happiness will be my own demise disappearance, out of body experience, teenage angst i've experienced it all my life is a parody of icarus' fall your words stayed with me forever mine didn't reach you at all

the el counterpart

the mike counterpart

Nayyirah Waheed, from Nejma

[Text ID: “all the women. / in me. / are tired.”]

why we climb

—

they spoke often

of earning wings

and it brings

me to broken tears

I’ve thrown so much of myself into rainy weather

seeding, growing vines of contour feathers

It’s the heavy heart I fight.

And I can’t seem to take flight.

But when a new place calls,

all I need is a ride

maybe

I was meant to glide

.•.peako green•.•

Windward the kite swirls indefinitely.

The thread stings my palm like a new cut.

And I let go off it.