I Just Got Into College

I just got into college

I feel like i am 2 years behind

Ahead of all my peers but I don't feel fine

I feel scared and I feel guilty

'cause my parents will foot the bill

and my physiology's degree in Italy

probably wont pay the rent

i got it figured out when I was like six

but now the time is coming and i just want to weep.

My friend is flirting with soldiers on IG

while I wish I was joking but i think there will be a War

and playing nurse is my thing

but not in real life .

I should be studying proteins

but i am writing this

because i am anxious and life is what it is

Brutus laid awake the night after he killed his father and wept

King Arthur let Mordred's broken body in his arms, he cradled him against his chest and let his son die safe and comforted,forgiven and understood.

I like Hector of Troy but also Brutus.

I like the epitome of virtue and loyalty and the traitor.

What does that say about me?

I am going to the estetichian and i will come back as smooth as a babies butt

God I miss the days when you could show up to a stranger’s farm and he’d say “What’s your name, boy?” and you’d take off your hat and hold it to your chest to better let him see your face and reply “Why I ain’t got none, sir, on account of my mammy passed on before she could give me one” and he’d tell you he’s real damn sorry to hear that and ask what he can do you for and you’d tell him that you can’t read nor even write neither but you’re mighty good with horses and can mend them fallen fence posts what you saw on your way in and won’t ask for nothing much more than a hot meal and a warm barn to sleep in and he’d keep his wife and daughters inside but send his boy who ain’t got married yet even though his mama tells him he needs a woman out with a lantern and some stew at night and the two of you’d get to talkin and he’d throw you his flask to take a swig from and watch you drinkin from it while he leant against the door frame and when he finally got called back on up to the house again he’d take a sip from it too real slow-like like it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour

My parents’ friend

My parent's friend’s died before I was born, he was a bit crazy,one hell of a mind, he worked hard and was an electrician, he had his motorbike in his bedroom for some reason (no one actually figured out how he managed to move that there each winter alone withouth fail),his brother, another family friend is my uncle more than my actual uncles. Each year there is a concert in his honor, and there is a trumpet piece they always do that will make your whole body shiver if you got to hear it. The details have always been fuzzy for me, death was something my parents tried to shelter me from ,it didnt work, i have been more funerals that one should have been at my age in my opinion, yet they just now started to share things about him. He built the electrical system in the garage and the laudry room in my house, i never knew that, when we came back last night and i saw the lights there (working perfectly after 20 years) I thought that even when we are gone little pieces of us will always remain, even people who havent known us will remeber us...maybe truly all humans are connected somehow.