Dutyxbound - Jade Claymore

Jade swallows down her feelings, has to. She's the logical one, rational and in control. It's why she was paired with Kit, so she could teach her to be the same. Then why does it feel like Kit has taught her to act on emotion. It's fine to trust your feelings, but you also must keep them in your control. She doesn't want to.

She presses a hand across Kit's collarbone, stopping her from coming any closer. Her gaze moves from those deep blues down to where their bodies meet. Yeah, that's close enough. "I feel you in the dark, afraid of what sleep might bring you in the dead of night." Her voice is low for only Kit to hear, especially at this proximity. "I see the way your eyes go blank when you're not present like you should be. I see the grin when you impress one of the Masters, how eager you are to impress, to please... It's so different from the smile you give me. You know my habits; I know your mind."

ㅤㅤㅤtaking a deep breath, kit pushes down everything that smile stirs in the depth of her stomach. this is exactly what lili told her to expect. she can't let it pull her back in. it's not worth it.ㅤ❛❛ㅤyou say my name as if you think it'll change something. it does not.ㅤ❜❜

ㅤㅤㅤthere's a pause, a hesitation, before she begins to speak.ㅤ❛❛ㅤyou bite your lip when you're frustrated,ㅤ❜❜ㅤshe says, stepping closer,ㅤ❛❛ㅤyou toy with your saber hilt when your thoughts are elsewhere, and you clench your fist when you want to say something but don't feel brave enough to speak it aloud. i know you, jade. it's you that does not know me.ㅤ❜❜

ㅤㅤㅤNOTHING I'VE EVER WANTED HAS COME NATURALLY TO MEㅤ. . .ㅤindependent, private, selective & low activity kit tanthalos of disney+'s willow 2022. crossover friendly with verses in the hundred, the hunger games, once upon a time, & many more. poorly filtered by west.

send  “  who  did  this  to  you  ?  ”  for  the  sender  to  find  the  receiver  injured  and  demand  to  know  who  did  it.

Oh, she’s really hurt. She’s doing the thing where she’s holding herself, but makes it seem like she’s just crossing her arms. Jade knows Kit’s tells. This is one of her self-soothing methods. Jade won’t ever tell her she knows, though. Kit will never admit to it anyway, so there’s no use. Jade just has to find a way to soothe her. That’s all. Not hard… right?

Jade gently grabs the crook of Kit’s elbow, stepping closer. “You don’t have to lie to me, Kit. I’m sorry. I know it’s a big deal, with it being your sixteenth birthday and all. I promise, I’ll be at the feasts with you and you can tell me all the court gossip and crazy tourney stuff every night. I’ll even help you get ready tonight. And I’ll make it up to you. I don’t know how, yet, but I will.” She means it, too. She wants to make it up to her. Kit’s been excited about this for months now and Jade doesn’t want to ruin that.

ㅤㅤㅤkit is trying not to take it personally. it's to no avail, however, as her stomach continues to twist. she doesn't really have friends outside of jade, and the ones that are around tend to be more airk's friends than her own. so, seeing jade, hearing her say that she can't spend time with her... it hurts. order or not, it hurts.

ㅤㅤㅤone day. the fact that the time they could spend together has been relegated to one day sucks. no, not even one day. it's a maybe one day. it might not even happen. probably won't if ballantine has anything to say about it; the princess can't help but feel like the captain highly dislikes her. disapproves of her. folding arms across her chest, practically holding herself together so that jade doesn't see how much this feels like being left behind, kit forces herself to shrug.ㅤ❛❛ㅤdo what you want, i don't - i don't care.ㅤ❜❜

@tanthalos has decided to be a bad influence and now I'm brainstorming a new muse.