Robin: What If Mayonnaise Came In Cans?

Robin: What if mayonnaise came in cans?

Eddie: That would suck, you can't microwave metal

Robin: *on the phone* 911 this is an emergency-

a bat flies into the harrington house and immediately takes a liking to steve. dustin, in his desperation, assumes that it must be eddie come back from the dead. the bat is too docile, too odd. so steve takes care of the little bat, doing his best and doing a great job.

eddie does come back from the dead, but not as a bat. he's almost as confused as steve is when he finally finds a way to crawl out of the upside down, trekking all the way to steves, only to find him being very sweet with a little bat that he's named eddie.

While Eddie is on tour, Steve practically lives in the clothes Eddie left behind.

He goes to work in the old Metallica shirt, wears the sweatpants that are a little too tight around the house, and sleeps in Eddie's pyjamas that did technically used to be Steve's. It's his way of being close to his boyfriend while he's gone. Sure, they call every couple nights and once a month a post card from whatever city Eddie's been in shows up in the mailbox, but it's not quite enough to stop the ache in his chest. The ache that wishes his lover was home with him.

When Eddie gets home a day early and silently let's himself into the house at 1 in the morning, the sight he finds in the bedroom causes him to stop dead in his tracks and he decides right then and there that he's never leaving Steve again. In the middle of the bed, Steve is curled up in Eddie's old Black Sabbath hoodie, his hands clutching Eddie's pillow to his chest as he softly snores. His feet peek out from under the covers, Eddie's Garfield socks lit up in the soft glow of the lamp Steve forgot to turn off. His heart aches. He never wants to leave Steve alone again for so long.

Eddie slips into his (Steve's) pyjamas and gently climbs into bed behind his boyfriend. He's met with a startled elbow in the ribs and then a soft sigh as Steve's sleepy gaze falls on Eddie's face. "Missed you." Is all Steve says before turning around to snuggle against Eddie's chest, his legs tangling with Eddie's.

"I missed you too, Stevie."

The next time Eddie goes on tour, they're both a little older, their hair is a little greyer, and they don't spend a single day of the tour apart.

“Don’t ever do that again.” (more)

Robin works herself into a panic because there's this girl, and they've gone on a few dates now, and she's pretty sure this date is going to be the date — as in, the sex date — and she's nervous because she's never had sex before which means she's never eaten someone out before, and she, well, doesn't know how. Not outside of the few very basic mechanics of it all, but she doesn't want to be boring or fumbling. She wants to be good.

So, naturally, she goes to Steve for advice because, well, he does have a reputation. She's heard the whispers, and she knows that Steve takes pride in taking care of his partners (Eddie has made that plenty clear — probably too clear), so she knows they've got to be true. Besides, there's no way so many people would be saying it if it weren't at least a little true.

Robin doesn't beat around the bush (pun fully intended 😏), just sits him down and stands in front of him with her arms crossed and, with all the seriousness she can muster, tells him, "tell me everything you know about cunnilingus."

Steve teases her for using the technical term, but he does (after he gets her to spill why she's asking). He gives her tips and tricks and doesn't shy away from telling her what he's found works for his partners and what doesn't. He reminds her that every girl is different, so his advice isn't necessarily one size fits all — one may like this thing, while another may not, so she's just gotta be willing to try something out and make adjustments as she goes.

Robin thanks him profusely, and Steve tells her she better tell him all about how it went when he sees her next.

Now, I don't know if it would be funnier if:

Robin tells him beforehand that her date is with Nancy, so Steve gives her a few personalized tips, things he remembers Nancy really liking when he was with her. And a few days later Nancy Wheeler shows up on his doorstep with fruit basket and bright pink cheeks as she tells him "thank you." When he asks her what for, her blush spreads and she says crypitcally, "you know." It's then that he puts two and two together. (When he asks Robin if she told Nancy about their conversation, Robin says no. Which means that Nancy knew it was him based off of Robin's technique alone).

OR

If Robin doesn't tell Steve who the date is with because she has a good feeling about this, and she doesn't want to jinx it. A few days later Steve finds a fruit basket on his porch with a little note that reads, "Thank you. You know what for. ;) - Nancy" and that is how Steve finds out that his two best girl friends are an item.

We sometimes assume that it's Eddie that the experienced queer but I don't think that's so, just judging by how Eddie acted with Steve, with the way he pushed him towards Nancy and Steve being thrown off because he had been flirting with Eddie. I think it would definitely be Steve. He was definitely convinced that Vickie also liked girls. Was it perhaps because, as a bisexual that he knew? I could see him knowing for a long time but not really saying it aloud until Robin came along. I could see Eddie thinking he always just liked girls until he started to get to know Steve Harrington. I don't see Steve being panicked about his sexuality but Eddie? Yeah, he panics with Steve about it.

"There's a guy, and I'm thinking very much, not straight thoughts, Steve," Eddie said after he dropped by Steve’s house one afternoon. "I've always liked girls. Specifically, cheerleaders. What the hell is that? Like I'm not already enough of a freak."

"Eddie," Steve called softly.

"I mean, shit, is it even possible? I mean, if there's another dimension under Hawkins, I don't see why it can't be possible to like -,"

Steve grabbed him by hips, picked him up, and placed him on the kitchen counter. That shut him up.

"Eddie, listen to me. It's alright to like both. Don't let other people tell you otherwise. You'll get it from both sides. Even in our own community, you'll get shit for it. I know it's okay because I'm bisexual, too, Eddie. I like women, I fucked women, I've kissed them, and have fallen in love with them. I like men, I fucked men, I've kissed them, but it wasn't until very recently that I fell for a man," Steve said softly.

"How, uh, recently?" Eddie asked.

"Spring break."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"This is scary."

"It is."

"Was it scary for you when you realized that you also like men?"

"Very. Do you feel it? Do you feel like that's what you are?" Steve asked. "Bisexual?"

"Yeah. Yes!" Eddie exclaimed.

"The only thing that matters then is the fact you feel it. Nobody else can tell you that you don't feel like it or that you're just confused or that you don't look bisexual. The only thing that matters is that you feel it here," Steve said, placing a hand on his chest.

"Okay, I gotta ask. Even though this is a very touching moment, what the hell is a bisexual supposed to look like?" Eddie asked.

"I don't fucking know man but apparently I don't look like one," Steve said. "They can look like anything they fucking want to."

"Thanks, man," Eddie said and hugged him tightly, burrowing his head into Steve’s neck. "By the way, the guy I was talking about. . .it's you, Steve."

"Thank God," Steve said. "The man I was talking about. . . It's you, Eddie."

Steve burrowed his head into Eddie's neck and they stayed like that for a good long while.

"Does this mean you're my boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"Thank God."