Incorrect Stranger Things - Tumblr Posts

Robin, holding a box: you promise it's not bees again?

Eddie, from a distance: just open it

Robin: Hey.

Eddie: Hey?

Robin: I can't sleep :/ 

Eddie: I can. Goodnight

Steve: I, for one, think I could and should be more slutty

Eddie: You're giving me a sticker?

Steve: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying "me-wow!"

Eddie: I'm not a preschooler.

Steve: Fine, i‘ll take it back-

Eddie: I earned this, back off!

Robin: Bet you can't eat 15 crayons!

Eddie: Bet you I can!

Steve: *sips tea, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper*

Robin: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this 

Steve: I literally said "I have an idea," and you just went along with it without question

Steve: I thought you hated me?

Eddie: Oh, I do my very best to, but you're really quite endearing sometimes. I hate you for that too. It's maddening

Steve: Why do you let me win so easily when we race up the stairs? You don't even try

Eddie: Um-- it's nice to see your smile when you win!

*later*

Steve: He's staring at my ass, isn't he?

Robin: Yep

Eddie: i think it's time I get my life in order

Robin, narrating: but he did not get his life in order. In fact, he got drunk last night and fought a racoon

Steve: Young adulthood is extremely lonely but also wildly freeing. I've gotten coffee at three different cafes today

Steve: *texting Robin* Hey, I just walked into this party and someone yelled dibs lol

*meanwhile*

Eddie: *texting Robin* ROBIN HELP I FUCKED UP. SOME HOT GUY WALKED INTO THE PARTY AND I YELLED DIBS

Eddie (30 seconds after walking into Family Video): Can't believe the back of my hand isn't being absentmindedly caressed by the love of my life right now .. Can I talk to the manager?

Eddie: You have Crayons?

Steve: Yes, I have-

Eddie: You're- how old are you?

Steve: YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS, I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS

Eddie: this world is dark and cold and everyone dies alone

Robin: I'm sorry Steve didn't kiss you goodbye this morning, but we had to go to work

Eddie: Ask me why I love you

Steve: Why do you love me, Eds?

Eddie: *pulls out a 200-slide presentation*

Eddie: I'm so glad you asked

Eddie: In the winter I like to wear a cozy black leather jacket, shirt, and pants. In the summer, I wear... the same thing, because I look good in black and I'm willing to suffer

Steve: What is your future plan?

Eddie: I'll have spaghetti for lunch!

Steve: No, I mean longer future

Eddie: Oh you mean for dinner?

Eddie: I tried to write 'I'm a functional adult' but my phone changed it to 'fictional adult' and I feel like that's more accurate

Robin, holding a camera: and here we see the Eddie in its natural habitat, focusing energy into opening a bag of sustenance

Eddie: WHY THE FUCK WON'T THIS CHIP BAG OPEN

Robin: it seems to be having trouble

Eddie: FUCK OFF

Robin:

Robin: let's move on to the elusive Steve, who seems to have not slept for two days!

Eddie: I'm going through life like a duck, majestic on top and kicking like hell underneath