Yes. YES. I Myself Don't Post On Ao3 But I Feel Pretty Dang Good When The Authors Of All The Fics I Commented

Yes. YES. I myself don't post on ao3 but I feel pretty dang good when the authors of all the fics I commented on had noticed me simping for their works and responded to my more-often-than-not, more than 1 paragraph rambling in every single chapter.

“We hope this email finds you well” babe, the only emails I hope find me well are the ones from Archive of Our Own

I'd imagine Yuu is the part-time therapist lmao, seeing some acquaintances *cough* some overblot victims *cough* popping in fully covered from head to toe requesting a private audience with Yuu via cards with words written on it cuz god forbid they talk and get recognized for their voices.

Because of this anonymity system that Yuu set up, the therapy room is by far the room that's never empty in the NRC cuz sometimes a lot of times, students just wanna vent especially teenage boys when it starts to spread that Yuu doesn't judge people for their feelings.

Ps. I love your ideas btw, author

Twst but the first-year gang become actual licensed professionals cause Crowley will donate to the Vacation Fund if they do?

anything 4 u, baby.

actual licensed professionals in what, though, is the question? 🤔

maybe the nurse quits because of their extremely low wages, so crowley convinces the first-years to go to freaking medical school to get licenses to practice medicine (because he is NOT going to be sued if things go poorly), and all of them start working in the infirmary part-time for 100 thaumarks a day.

sebek is already the son of a dentist, and he's surprisingly really intense about it (IT'S MY FATHER'S LEGACY, AND I WILL CARRY IT WITH HONOR) so you have him filling in cavities and stabbing people and saying that the knife going through their arm wouldn't have hurt if they had just flossed, obviously. given all his swords training, he's also in charge of applying ointment to cuts and making casts for broken bones. he's also great

being a pomefiore student, and combined with his newly-secured medical license, epel can mix up an extremely potent healing potion. being an apple farmer from harveston, he can also expertly mix epels into the concoction so that it tastes a little less like dirt. students start going to epel instead of crewel for their health potions because his don't make them feel like throwing up, lol. he also gains a reputation for cursing out people who keep showing up with the same injuries every damn day. ("WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GOT BUCKED IN THE FACT BY A HORSE AGAIN, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU--")

ace is very good at noticing little details in people (always thinking about his fairy gala vignette fr), and can almost diagnose someone the moment they step through the infirmary door. the rumors of his genius ability spreads through the school like wildfire, and next thing you know, he's putting actual sage's island hospitals out of business because now people are going to him instead of actual adult doctors, and ace just. doesn't notice?? like he genuinely thinks full-grown adults coming to him for his expert opinion is just a part of his job description as a high school nurse.

while deuce has a license, he's still not very good at being a medical professional. first day on the job, he knocks over all of epel's potions, catches the infirmary on fire, and gives their anemic patient the flu... somehow. luckily, as we all know, deuce has the charisma of a million gods, so he's in charge of calming people down in the waiting room that he also helped to decorate. the harsh blue on yellow walls are a little much, but eh. deuce is cute, so he makes up for it. some people come in for check-ups just to talk to him, because the rizz never ends.

ortho is like. all the hospital machines in one tiny robot body. he is your x-ray, your weight scale, your height scale, and your radio if your laid in bed and bored... if you don't mind listening to hetalia character songs, lol. he'll switch to something different if you want, but you can't actually tell him what to play, because he's not being paid to play music for you so he doesn't feel the need to heed your request. you are literally at his mercy when it comes to music, so you better get used to listening to oshi no ko's opening theme on loop while you're laid up in bed for the next five hours.

jack does the actual physical stuff -- checking reflexes, writing up prescriptions, using ortho to take x-rays, that sort of thing. people are a little intimidated by him, especially the kids, but all it takes is letting them pet him between the ears for them to calm down. importantly, he is literally the only one of the freshmen to realize that they're doing a lot more work than they probably should be for seven people in a school full of people who'd rather relocate their dislocated limbs themselves than admit they need help. not that he says anything about it because, well, they need the vacation money.

yuu is their ever-exhausted secretary. they're in charge of scheduling appointments, receiving calls, managing their budget, and growing herbs in the botanical gardens, because ingredients for healing potions don't grow on trees... they grow in bushes. they're so overworked, it barely ever occurs to them that maybe some of the people scheduling for appointments really shouldn't be there??? like this girl is literally 6, why is she coming to us about her aching tummy-wummy.

the first-years's medical practice becomes famous around sage's island, and they're over here trying to figure out where they're going to go once they've raised all their vacation money, lol.

Alberu is just that guy

been thinking about Alberu Crossman lately and how he really is just the guy of all time. he's a magic swordsman prince and a quarter Dark Elf, but his main weapon is a gun. and not just any gun, but an alien gun that came pre-installed with AI. he spent half a chapter on hold with customer service once. his alias of choice when going undercover is "Bob." he's white-passing, but only when he wants to be. his main catchphrase is "This is driving me nuts." he uses this catchphrase so much, the fandom has started associating him with squirrel imagery. he's the only person to call Cale an immature brat to his face. he was assigned a fursona by God. he's genuinely upset that the main villain makes better cookies than he does. he fought the final boss in his pajamas - and won. he averted a TPK for Cale's allies by taking a video call as his fursona. he once shot the main villain while he was monologuing. he's even a gamer. what did we do to deserve him

*Looks at my current fic draft*

Yeah I'm aight, let's just pray I don't get dropped into Devildom

You get isekai'ed into the last fanfiction you WROTE

Reblog for sample size or perish

That's a crime

heartbreaking: the cool person you just met doesn't ship sskk

To my readers:

If your comment is long and rambling and full of quotes you enjoyed, I will love it.

If your comment is full of story related questions, I will love it.

If your comment is a single sentence, I will love it.

If your comment is a single emoji, or a string of them, I will love it.

If you comment, I will love it. It's that simple.