The Premium Version Of Human Is Here To Wreck House, Mfs.

The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.

[Twst x Obey Me!AFAB!reader]

CHP. 6

PREVIOUS CHAPTER: PROLOGUE 5

I get really happy every time one of you guys like, reblog, or comment on my chapters, Thanks guys :3

CW: ANYTIME that MC is referred with male address or pronouns it's going to be color blue. There's also a shit-ton of cursing here.

You can feel your blood pressure ascending into the Celestial Realm (faster than a newly deceased good person) as this Azul Asheng-something mf drags you into his oh-so-fancy "Monstro Lounge" while you're just peacefully trying to fuck off from his dorm.

You were unfortunately curious enough to go poke your head into the mirrors leading to the dorms to see what they've got and use it as inspiration, but then this greasy-ass bitch sadly spotted you and literally hounded you to go in.

You would've socked him in the face for a second time but it turns out that he's a pretty important figure in this school.

You don't really wanna get in trouble for doing that.

(You may be able to do it to Crowley but you don't know if this attempted-bangle-thief has influential parents or something.. Crowley meanwhile, acts pretty parent-less for you.)

You are keeping an eye on him though.

If he tries any bullshit then he's getting his ass kicked.

Social hierarchy be damned.

You didn't rein in 10 demons, 3 angels, The greatest sorcerer in all of humanity and The literal fuckin grim reaper, (who're all constantly dragging you onto bullshit as either an accomplice or the baby-sitter) just for some dude in an Emo-friendly-cut-my-life-into-pieces college to best you.

• • • •

Jade did a double-take.

"..."

He blinked.

Azul is sending him SOS signals by blinking morse code at him.

Jade rubbed his eyes for a few seconds.

"..."

Nope, still the same.

Azul: *Blinking for help intensifies*

...Pft–

He bit his lip to stop his laughter from escaping.

Who would've thought that he'll see a day where his precious housewarden is having his face passive-aggresively squished and kneaded by a new student? And also, probably getting himself threatened based on the eerie smile on the students' face.

Azul should be grateful that floyd isn't here, lest he'll have two people on his hands that are more than happy to squish him around. He should be grateful there isn't anyone else around, really.. Lest the reputation he took so long to build crumbles.

Oh he can just imagine it at the top of his head.. The poor octo-mer will probably combust from embarrassment and maybe even go find himself an octo-pot that he can shimmy himself into.. oh how he misses those days...

(Elae: I'm just imagining baby Azul shimmying into a lil pot.. Ugh, so adorable I'm getting cute aggression.)

He does eventually step in to stop the student from treating Azul's face like a squishy piece of dough He took a couple of pictures ofc. he ain't an amateur, but not before almost getting his own face fall victim to the new students' hands.

• • • •

"You try this shit again and see what happens." You smiled at him as you squished his face.

He's still holding onto your wrists but he seems to have given up from escaping your passive-aggresive face massage. Instead, he seems to have settled in blinking so fast he can almost fly with his eyelashes.

This bitch really had the audacity to try and get you to sell your jewelry to him in exchange for a room in his frankly unimpressive dorm. (You have more than a dozen rich and powerful simps. A dorm in a college ain't gonna be enough to impress you anymore.)

"— I know that you must not have any money to pay but maybe we can compromise, it's gonna be hard for you and your friend (Yuu) to keep staying in the infirmary after all.."

"We can manage—"

"And my benevolence will not allow me to let some poor unfortunate souls be without accommodations... So what if, for a week of stay each, you give me your jewelry in retur—"

You got so pissed at the audacity that you almost strangled him but changed your tactic into a hateful squeezing the last second. (You can't be reported for physically violent behavior rn.)

He speaks as if the entirety of this college and its dorms can actually be worth even a single piece of the ring in your left hand.

But seriously? 15,000 madols (that's the price Azul told you) for one night of stay?? If you're gonna be paying that much money for a single room, then that room better solve all your problems, fulfill your greatest ambitions and then suck your imaginary dick afterwards.

Your annoyed musings were cut off when a hand tries to remove your grip from Azul's face.

You absent-mindedly reach your other hand, trying to deliver another kneading to a new victim.

• • • • •

Azul covers his face with his hand, embarrassed of how the situation played out.

It doesn't help that Floyd is cackling like a deranged maniac at him right now.

Thank goodness they're in his office.

"Can you stOp?!"

Poor bbg was so embarrassed his voice cracked :<

Hmph.

Jokes on you, even if he got embarrassed today he still got closer to your jewelry.

And now, he can 100% confirm that those ornaments aren't just for decorations.

The strong magic from your rings that were pressed against his face confirmed it.

Those things are definitely custom-made magical artifacts of the highest caliber.

Now.. How to get them...

• • • • •

You stopped walking, feeling someone's gaze on you.

Looking around discreetly, you didn't see anyone but you can still feel the eyes on your form.

Yeah no.

You continue on, ignoring the feeling of being watched, but not going to dark places or spots where you'll be all alone.

Time to check in on Yuu and their unwilling gang of window cleaners.

See if they're done already.

The sun is starting to go down, after all.

• • • • •

Mc... We're going to come find you.

Don't worry..

Please stay safe..

Please don't forget that we love you more than anything else in existence..

0u® |!gHt įN tH€ d@RkN€§$

← Pr. 5 | Chapter List | Pr. 7 →

EDIT: WTF WHY DID THIS CHAPTER GET POSTED?! I SAVED IT IN THE GODDAMN DRAFTS THIS AIN'T SUPPOSED TO BE DONE YET WHAT THE HELL?!

Oh welp, ain't nothing I can do about it now..

Thanks for reading this far, readers☺️

Reblog or I'll bite ya ankles😈

@f0uerleafedcl0ver

@leviathans-tail-scales

@a-traveling-void-human

@xingyunny

@caprinaesprout (should I put you in the permanent tag list for this series?)

Tagging isn't working for some reason so I can't tag some of y'all. The usernames I tagged just fuckin disappearing.

Tumblr is messing with me rn.

You wanna throw hands, Tumblr??

Oh hell yes!! Let them be humans dammit! (even though they're fictional characters but still...)

Also, a friendly reminder that you can still have a civil conversation with others even if they like a ship you don't really support.

At the end of the day, we're all strangers on the internet and bashing ships in an anime/manga fandom should not take up your whole personality.

So for the whiny anti-shippers out there, stop acting like spoiled toddlers and grow up for the betterment of the earth.

I'm so glad for you that you have nothing to do with your lives except try to get attention on the internet but some of us have much more important things to do.😊

Sorry if I'm harsh, you're allowed your own opinions but you aren't worth enough to disregard the views of others and make fun of them.

Let people ship what they wanna ship, these are fictional characters anyways. Don't like it then just scroll past it.🙄

one debate i wish bsd fandom would stop having in regards to skk is comparing every rs they have. with eo and with others. making dazai and chuuya to be people who only care about eo does such a disservice to them? when chuuya is such a forgiving and caring person who has it in his heart to love so many people. when he cares about the Sheep, the Flags, Adam, Koyou, the PM members and Verlaine. When Dazai cares for every member of the ADA so much and goes out of his way for them. When he honours the wishes of his best friend by trying to live in a world that odasaku wanted dazai to live

BUT AT THE SAME TIME

i wish people stopped downplaying dazai and chuuya’s rs too. yall do realize dazai quite literally was set on wanting to die up until he met chuuya and the mission with chuuya sparked life in him? u do realise that dazai was willing to sacrifice an entire city for chuuya? u do realise that chuuya knows corruption could kill him and yet he uses it every single time knowing that dazai would find his way to him. that time and time again chuuya and dazai put themselves in danger believing that the other would save them? That Dazai still calls Chuuya ‘partner’ and not ‘ex-partner’. That despite all of Chuuya threatening Dazai when he thought Dazai was hurt he freaked out? That Mori told Dazai the death he craves is the one he has with Chuuya? And Dazai admitting he thinks about Chuuya ALL THE TIME😭😭

The director of dead apple said Chuuya and Dazai are the same soul in two bodies. Asgr said Chuuya is one of the few people who understands Dazai.

In conclusion, Chuuya and Dazai care about each other VERY VERY MUCH. But at the same time they have the capacity to care about more than one person. they are HUMAN. As human we have so much love and goodness in us. We can love more than one person. My love for my best friend doesnt decrease the love for my sister. The love I had for my first love didnt decrease the love I had for my best friends. Chuuya and Dazai are no different.

Please stop looking at them in such a one dimensional way. Look at them as if they’re people and a lot of ur stupid fights would stop.

Lmao, do I look like I give a shit when the conversation was never even about Dazai's relationship with Odasaku?

You act like you actually have the right to tell people what to do.🙄

If you can't even tell that I'm just tryna joke about the scene where Dazai shoves Chuuya into his crotch then your head is clearly too far up your ass to see things properly.😒

Shoutout to chuuya for the time he decided to enable corruption, which literally destroys his organs, and proceed to bitch slap a dragon with a building just so he could go and punch his boyfriend. The queers have outdone themselves.

I'm confused here, who's abusing who? Because, I'm pretty sure Dazai and Chuuya have done equally shitty things to each other while still trusting the other with their own lives.

(That's why those two mfs need to get together, like– rn.)

Though I don't think anything romantic happened between SKK whilst Dazai was still in the mafia, I do think their partnership was still real confusing from the outside.

Like, in the Fifteen manga these boys are repeatedly grabbing each other and holding on to each other. Dazai is constantly in Chuuya's space and it's fine, but as soon as they say something that alludes to, or makes it blatantly obvious they care about each other, they freak out. That's grooooooss to them. Because feelings are icky, but holding someone's face an inch away from your own is normal.

Given that neither have them had a real concept of what is socially acceptable, I think they formed their own boundaries around physical contact that wasn't influenced by societal opinions and was very casual.

Someone would say to Chuuya, "Hey are you and Dazai dating?" and when he acts disgusted by that idea they add "But you were sitting his lap yesterday???"

Then Chuuya responds, "No, he was ignoring me to play his stupid game, so I sat on him to punish him for not answering me. Then we took turns trying to beat this level in the game. I wasn't in his lap, I was on him, there's a difference, Moron."

Similarly someone will insinuate to Dazai that him and Chuuya are dating because they saw them holding hands and Dazai will correct them like, "Ew, he wasn't holding my hand. Chuuya gets cranky when he has to sit still, so he plays with my hand sometimes in meetings. It keeps him quiet, don't make it weird."

Maybe the older they got and the more people who would interpret this casual platonic intimacy as romantic they started to feel weirder displaying it in front of people. They put distance between themselves as people's opinions began to affect them.

And then, after Dazai leaves the mafia, they go several years not talking and develop complicated feelings around interacting with each other again now they're on opposing sides. Their boundaries get much harsher as they try to navigate getting to know each other again, but eventually they slip into old habits and comforts again.

My 149.86 cm ass would not survive💀

(I'm not young I'm just unfortunately stunted 😭)

Having a smol crisis over how tall some of the Obey Me cast is...

I recall reading somewhere that Luci is 6'3", just to give a point of comparison. Also read somewhere before that Luke is supposed to be 5'2"?? EXCUSE ME??

And then I see this gem:

and realize that FUCK IT'S TRUE. I'M THE SAME HEIGHT AS LUKE. Like, if Barb really is that tall (estimating 6'2") then my 5'2" ass will look like THIS standing next to him.

Which makes this NB dialogue so much funnier...

YEAH. NO SHIT. OF COURSE LUKE FEELS BETTER WITH ME IN THE KITCHEN CUZ I NEED A FUCKING STOOL TOO, APPARENTLY....

Just imagining having to do everything using a stool now. Also imagining how fucking big the Devildom furniture would be. If I, at a reasonable 5'2", need a stool to comfortably prep food at the kitchen counter, then how big are the chairs? The tables? The couches...??

Just me, sitting at at the dining table with my feet dangling...

Don't even get me started on Diavolo...

...look how much taller his behind Barbatos.

Fuckin' hell....

Can anyone please teach me how to make an account on Ao3? What the heck is all that getting an invitation thingamajig?

Pls send help🥺