Obey Me Diavolo X Reader - Tumblr Posts

“my love for you transcends time.”

Fr fr

Me upon realizing that even in different situations MC can pull all of these men without trying the true RIZZ master of them all:

I wanna see a fanfic about sugar daddy diavolo

That's the post

The sillies:33 mwah mwah

Im seeing few ppl doing this in twt so yeah why not:D🫶

Full pic under!

THEY ARE SO CUTEEE🫶🫶 I edited diavolo bc i feel like it:3

https://twitter.com/eeo_store/status/1758401533354651843?t=uDSidoTfKVT3iX9z-djimA&s=19

I heard from a little birdie today is kiss day:3

Happy kiss day!! Go ahead and smooch ur faves yall🫶

List of Chapters for my fanfiction named;

The premium version of human is here to wreak house, mfs.

Prologue (Shit's about to go down.)

(Pls reblog, it gives motivation :3)

(P.s If there's anything wrong with the links, pls tell me)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Tyrannical blood rose (Aka. Catan's anger issues mixed with Luke's height, and amplified by Luci's legendary stick up the ass.)

Chp. 1.1 (Yet to be available)

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Sunset Revolution (Aka. Belphie but with less yanda-yandar-eyi and more turning people into sanda-sandy-eyi.)

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Fishy practices (Aka. Solomon but somehow shadier due to the lack of fucks given towards the betterment of humanity. Feat. Barbatos' clone + his chaotic lookalike.)

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One man coup d'etat (Aka. It's snek boi time with illegal imprisonment in what is equivalent to a boot camp sprinkled in for some flavor.)

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The envy of the fairest (Aka. Asmodeus but with less manwhore tendencies.)

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Be my Persephone (Aka. Why is no one in this goddamn school normal?!)

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Coming soon! (Still thinking of titles)

✮☆✮☆✮ 𝐃𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤 𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫, 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥... ꒰NSFW + FLUFF꒱

𝑨𝑼𝑻𝑯𝑶𝑹'𝑺 𝑵𝑶𝑻𝑬: GENDER NEUTRAL SMUT AHSHHSHS. But I might have accidentally made it a little more male reader smut,sorry :^

Also,some poly with MC x Lucifer x Lord Diavolo!!! (Everyone is dating)(I also made some only male reader smut headcanons with no prounous as a small Pride Month special and because I've been meaning to do it) I'M JUST PLANNING SOMETHING A LIL LONGER AND I WANT YOU TO HAVE A BIT OF SMUT BEFORE THAT

These are just some silly little HCs before I make something longer + Late Pride Month specials :>

⚠️⚠️

⚠️𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺:⚠️ MENTIONS OF CUM,BLOWJOB (GIVING AND RECEIVING),BEGGING,REQUESTING MASTURBATING

𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑺: Fluff,Lime,and Smut

─────── ꒰ 𖹭 ꒱ ───────

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐄𝐔𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐅𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅

(No prounous)

Drunk Lucifer, who will kiss you with so much desperation. You could hear his hics as he hung his arms around your chest and laughs about how stupid his brothers are or another cute human thing you did or cry about how much work he has to do.

Drunk Lucifer, who will flirt with you and act like you aren't dating already. He'll tell you about dates you've already went on,or perhaps he'll spoil some of his new plans as he kisses you in-between sentences,he just keeps on being desperate but you're not sure how he got drunk.

Drunk Lucifer who is ten times more affectionate than usual towards you and will either jump on your lap or he'll sloppily drag you onto his lap while he raises his wine glass,cheering about how his partner is the best (Not to mention better than everyone elses).

Drunk Lucifer who whisper words of affection and little bits of your favourite song into your ear (perhaps messing up the pronunciation if it's in a foreign language) and talking about how grateful he is to have you and how much he takes pride in being your lover while spins you around gently because he gets some sudden energy out of excitement of having you so close to him. Like a big,prideful puppy.

Drunk Lucifer, who will do any activity you want. He'll watch anime and say, "He's not as cute as you." And tell you about how you're the cutest and better than everyone and the most perfect person for him,and in general.

Drunk Lucifer,who falls on you and pushes the hair out of your face to kiss your forehead.

─────── ꒰ ✿ ꒱ ───────

𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈 𝐱 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

(No prounous)

Drunk Lucifer,who praises you and Lord Diavolo as you two carry him out of his chair to lay him in his bed while the three of you cuddle up in his lap. Lucifer giggles and hugs the two of you as you and Lord Diavolo cuddle up.

Drunk Lucifer,who talks to Mammon about how much he loves his partners and how much he adores and simps after them. Pulling the camera, Satan is using closer to him so he can tell everyone and Devilgram how much he wants to cuddle and kiss them,calmly,but you can hear the affection in his words and hics "I love *hic* Dia and MC soooooo much.. look at how cute and troublesome they areee..! Dragging me to do *hic* stuff.. *hic* Marry meeee."

─────── ꒰ ❦ ꒱ ───────

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐄𝐔𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓

(No prounous)

Drunk Lucifer,who will giggle when he sees your whimpering face,begging him while he touches your sex and puts his mouth on it and licks the precum off of it.

Drunk Lucifer,who will ask you if you want some wine while he's shoving his dick into your ass while he bits your neck occasionally,just to satisfy you a little. You would roll your eyes and laugh at his suggestion,but you're too busy being overestimulated

Drunk Lucifer,who will lick the wine off of his mouth while he looks down on you sucking his dick.

Drunk Lucifer,who's eyes roll back in pleasure when you suck his cock and praises you as he let's out an embarrassingly loud moan

Drunk Lucifer,who slams you into the bed as he kisses you

─────── ꒰ ❦ ꒱ ───────

𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐂𝐒

(No prounous)

Drunk Lucifer,who suddenly opens your legs and gives your cock a long,wet lick. But then he'll start with kissing your tip,then licks it gently before flipping you over and slowly putting it in only to pound into you.

Drunk Lucifer,who asks you to touch your cock so he can drink and get a show

Drunk Lucifer,who needs your cock so desperately he goes down on his knees,begging you with a drunk smile to please as he 'charmingly' puts his arms out like a showman. Sort of reminding you of a Yoidere.

Diavolo x chubby/Fat! Female! Reader

My inspiration for this chapter: that one sex from desperate housewives.

Song Inspiration/s:

Can I take you home girl Jamie Fox

California King Bed Rihanna

The human _______ was enjoying the ballroom party but of course the only thing she wanted was to be alone with Diavolo. She watched as he greeted all the guests from her spot in the ballroom which was far away from him. She felt so far from him like she had returned home to the human realm. She shook her head gently to try and ignore the feeling and get back to socialising. She smiled at the demon who had approached her to greet her. “Hello, it’s nice to meet you as well.” She replied shaking their hand. She knew she wasn’t in any danger as the brothers were all only a few feet away from her.

Diavolo smiled as he greeted the last guest happy that he could enjoy the party at least for now. He looked over at her watching her greet party goers as they went to greet her. He gritted his teeth hating the feeling of her being touched by someone besides him but happy that she decided to wear gloves. He thanked the waiter as he took a glass of demonus taking a sip as he watched her. The way her dress fit her perfectly, how it hugged every curve of her body and hid the things only he has seen many times. Her face just as lovely as they day he had met her. He sighed softly and took another sip before walking around and returning to his duties.

The ball had finally reached the climax and Diavolo announced the end. “I hope everyone enjoyed their time tonight and hope that next years annual charity ball will be just as good if not better. Now have a good night everyone.” He said ending the ball and watching as everyone started to leave. He sighed knowing it was over and walked over to the group of brothers and his _______. “I hope you all enjoyed yourselves.” He said and chatted with the brothers listening to their replies. He nodded and smiled at them. “That good I’m glad.” He says. “I’m assuming your also here to take _______, with you, yeah.” Mammon said bluntly. “Well only if she wants to.” Diavolo said. She blushed and looked up at the brothers and nodded. “Well if it’s ok with everyone.” She said looking at them with pleading eyes. They nodded and let her go. She smiled and said goodnight to them as the two of them watched them leave knowing that they’ll argue as soon as their out of the public eye. “Shall we my dear, ______~” he asked and she nodded loving hearing her name out of his mouth.

He smiled and asked for her hand and she places hers in his. He smiles and leans down and kisses her gloved hand. She smiled at him and he stood up straight and intertwined his arm with hers as they walked out of the ballroom thanking the servants and servers and of course Barbatos for their service for the night and they soon walk to Diavolo’s bedroom. “Are you alright my dear?” He asks looking towards her as he opens the door for her. “Yes I’m fine I’m just happy to be taking these shoes off.” She said chuckling. He smiles and lets her in and follows behind her closing the door behind them and locking it just in case there are some nosy servants that aren’t Barbatos. She smiles and leans against one of the dressers and slides off her shoes feeling relieved. He smiles watching her rub her foot as he undoes his tie and takes off his suit jacket. He sighs letting his stress leave for the rest of the night as he unbuttons his vest and places it with his jacket. He feels her arms wrap around his waist as he places his finger on the buttons of his shirt. “Everything ok?” She asks squeezing him against her. “Yes I’m just relieved for this event to be over.” He says placing a hand on hers as he uses his other to undo the top few buttons of his dress shirt. “You feel so warm against me.” He smiles to himself. “Oh really? Sorry.” She says pulling away a little. “It’s nice.” He says letting her arms drop away from him feeling cold the moment she does. She walks back over to the dresser and takes of her jewellery and places it upon the dresser as he kicks off his shoes and takes of his socks. He smiles as he looks over at her struggling to get the zipper on her back. “Do you want some help.” He asks undoing the last few buttons of his shirt. “Yes please.” She says.

He chuckles and walks over to her and unzips the back of her dress while returning to her shoulders and slides her dress off of them as it slowly falls to her sides. He smiles as he leans down and kisses her shoulder. “Can I take off your bra~?” He asks kissing up and down her neck. “Of course.” She says happy that she wore a strapless bra. He grins against her skin and moves his hands to her back and undoes her bra and it tumbles to the floor. She takes a sharp breath feeling the cool air on her skin. His hands gently cup her breasts as he sucks on the nape of her neck. She smiles moving her head away from his loving when he caresses her. His hands kneading her breasts gently before they move to her hips helping the dress down onto the floor along with her underwear. “Well, this is a little unfair now..” she says sarcastically with which he replies with a chuckle. “Well, then by all means make it fair..” he says softly into her ear. She smiles and turns around placing her hands on his torso. “Can I?” She replies softly.

He smirks and nods. “By all means.” He says smiling as her hands slide up to his shoulders and slipping them under his dress shirt slowly down along his arms as his shirt follows before is hangs loosely at his sides her fingers slowly undoing the buttons at the wrists before it finally drops to the floor with her dress. She smiles and leans forward and places a kiss on his chest as her fingers rub circles onto his waist before her fingers move to his belt buckle undoing it slowly before undoing the button and zipper sliding it down her knuckles just grazing against his groin as she lets go his pants sliding down slowly before dropping to the ground. She lets her fingertips slide into the waistband of his underwear before sliding them down his hips before they slid and drop to the floor with his trousers. “Feeling free?” She asks sarcastically looking up at him into his eyes. He smiles and closes his eyes. “Very much so.” He says pulling her close to him and taking her lips to his as she wraps her arms around him their bodies pressed against each other the heat rising between them as well as the excitement of his groin. He groans at the feeling of her body against his package. “My dear, would you please indulge with me.” He says leaning down and kissing her neck. “Let me indulge in you.” He says his hands rubbing her hips gently enjoying the feeling against his skin. “Indulge all you want.” She said kissing his chest. He grins as his hands slowly travel down to her thighs and grasps her gently lifting her up and wrapping her legs around him. “A-aren’t I heavy?” She asks softly. “As I’ve told you before, I can lift you no matter what.” He says pulling away slightly and kissing her once more while putting her arms around his neck. “O-okay.” She says pulling away slightly then returning her lips to his. He grins against her lips as his hands roam her body gently caressing her breasts her thumb flicking against her nipple while his other hand supports her back rubbing it up and down. “Ah-“ she pulls back letting out a soft moan feeling his hardened erection against her outer folds.

“Just a moment my dear~” he says pulling away from her and putting her feet on the ground. “O-okay..” she says taking a breath as he walks to his bedside table and rummages in it and pulls out a condom and opens it with his teeth. She watches as he places the condom on his length bitting his bottom lip at the cool feeling as he slides it down his length. She watches silently as he strides back to her embracing her once more picking her up and returning her legs to his slides. “Now back to where we left off~” he says with a grin kissing her once more as her arms wrap around his neck as he continues to kiss her sliding his tongue into her mouth re exploring it once more as he had many times before. She pulls away slightly with a gasp at the feeling of his length prodding at her entrance. She returns her lips to his as the top of his length slowly pushes itself into her. They both part for breath as he continues to slowly insert himself into her. “Are you alright, darling?” He asks softly grunting slightly trying to hold himself back from thrusting to quickly. “Y-yes, continue!” She says in a breathless moan feeling her insides clench around his length. He grunts loving the feeling over her walls around his length. She pulls his neck towards her biting onto his shoulder gently as she lets the pain subside as her walls become accustomed once more to his size. “Y-you can move now.” She says softly and at her words that’s what he does. He pulls out of her slightly and the thrusts back into her and continues his movements. She continues to nibble on his should her moans being muffled. He continues thrusting up into the sound of thumping could be heard throughout the room and outside. He grunts once more his eyes widening as he feels himself loose control as his demon form is released. She lets out a low moan as she feel his size grow inside her. “S-sorry, I’ve been really pent up lately.” He says groaning as he lets out a moan biting his lip. “I-it’s ok~” she moans out a response as he continues to thrust up into her his hips grinding against hers as he can feel his pent up release inching closer as he continues his movements each thrust getting harder as he grunts his breathing heavy. She moans loudly her walls clenching around as her own release nears. “My dear I love you-uu!!” He says with a grunt as his release finally arrives. “I l-l-you-too~!!” She says her words being stopped by her moans. He continues his thrusts each time making sure to grind against her walls. “Ah!” She moans feeling her head spin as her release arrives her walls shuddering around him as her mouth is flooded with drool. He grunts as he slows his pace and pulls out of her gently wrapping his arms around her as he gently carries her over to the bed and tucks her in before getting rid of the used protection.

“I hope I didn’t hurt you too much.” He says climbing into the other side of the bed. “You didn’t hurt me.” She says leaning over and kissing his lips gently. “I’m glad.” He says letting out a sigh and kisses her back pulling her closer to him and wrapping his arms around her. “Lets rest now.” She says softly closing her eyes. “Yes let’s.” He says leaning his head back onto his pillow and closing his eyes quickly drifting to sleep. She smiles softly hearing his soft snores.

•

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She yawns softly and rubs her eyes b fore rolling over as smiling as she sees his slumbering face his arms out stretched as if they were reaching out to her. She yawns once more gently taking one of his hands in hers kissing it softly as she hears his snoring come to a stop and she looks up his eyes starring into her still groggy from sleep. “_-____? Morning.” He says letting out a loud moan afterwards. “Morning.” She says sweetly kissing his nose. He chuckle his chest rumbling as he does. “I almost forgot that I wasn’t alone this morning.” He says smiling at her. “Oh really? What would you do if you were alone?” She asks leaning on her arm slightly. “Well..” he starts his eyes drifting away from her body before returning to her gaze. “Since it’s morning like most males I’d have to deal with my little friend less then half of the time.” He states. “Oh, really? Does your little friend need to be dealt with this morning?” She asks placing a hand on his chest. “Well since your here I’ll probably need some help.” He says pulling her close to him. He smiles softly as she feels his length press against her stomach.

“Would you like some help?” She asks. And he smiles at her words and kisses her sweetly. “I’d love your help.” He says as he kisses her once more. She smiles against his lip as a reply as her hand slowly drifts down his chest to his length her fingers draping against it gently making his shudder at the feeling. “A-actually, I think I want something else~” he says sitting up a little. “And what would that be?” She asks following him and sitting up. He smirks a little and whispers in her ear softly. “Oh!” She says her face flushing a little. “Ok well I can do that if you want me to.” She says softly. “I’d love that, the perfect morning to start the day.” He says chuckling a little as he rolls over on his side to rummage in his drawer grabs the protection and rolls back over and hands it to her. She smile slightly and takes it. He grins at her and pats his hands on his thighs inviting her over. She crawls over and sits on his thighs both legs over his own. He smiles and pulls her into another kiss his tongue asking to enter her mouth and she lets him in the tongues dancing together once more as her hands try to open the protection ripping it slightly as she feels the cool liquid agains her finger as she pulls away.

“W-which way does it go?” She asks unsure. He chuckles and takes it from her. “It’s ok I’ll do it.” He says taking it from her and placing it upon his hardening length. She smiles softly a little embarrassed but kisses him once more. “Thank you.” She says softly. “It’s ok and you can take your time, we’ve got all morning.” He says pulling her closer to him as he kisses down her neck to her naked chest kissing the top of her breast gently. She lets out a moan in response feeling his cloaked length against her stomach once more as she pulling away slightly. “Just say the word and I’ll take over~” he says smiling at her. “Okay.” She says kneeling up and placing his length against her warm folds rubbing against it slightly as she bites her lip as she slowly lowers herself onto his length letting out a sharp breath as she takes a moment to adjust to the feeling. “Ha…” she breathes softly. “Are you alright my dear?” He asks placing his hands on her hips rubbing his thumbs gently into her skin.

“Y-yes..just give me a moment to-ah..adjust..” she says softly biting her lip as her eyes clench shut taking a deep breath as she starts to pull herself up then drops back down continuing this moment a few times letting out a soft moan while she starts to grind her hips against his arching herself forward her fingers gently clutching onto his chest her fingers moving slightly like she’s kneading dough. He lets out a sigh like moan his hips thrusting up slightly. “S-sorry, my dear.” He groans out. “It’s ok.” She says as she continues as she leans her head back enjoying the pleasure. “Do-do it again.” She moans softly. He smirks and does what she asks and thrusts his hip up into her once more joining in on her movements every noise from her fulling her movements as she moans lowly feeling her orgasm inch closer at each thrust and each move they both made she leans forward once more letting out a long moan as she wraps her arms around his neck at his large thrusts. Her movements slow as she can’t keep up with him. “I-I don’t think I can go any faster.” She says moaning into his ear. “It’s ok I can make up for it.” He says with a grunt thrusting his hips up again and again each time with more force as he felt his own release coming.

Her walls clench around him as she lets out a low moan her eyes clenching shut her body shivering in pleasure as drool rolls down her lip letting. He groans loving hearing her noises as he feels his release arrive after thrusting a few more times before slowing his pace before coming to a stop. “H-ha, you did very well my dear.” He says pulling her lips to his as he lifts her off of him and lays her beside him removing the used protect and discarding it to the side. She smiles up at him as he lays back down pulling her to him once more. “H-how long do we have until we need to get up?” She asks her breathing returning to a normal pace. He glances at the time before answering. “It’s ok 6:30 in the morning, so we can rest a little more.” He says smiling as he pulling the covers over them and snuggling up to her closing his eyes letting out a hum. She smiles and closes her eyes as well drifting off a little afterwards.

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Elsewhere is the palace Barbatos smiles as he makes himself some tea singing a tune to himself. “Oh what a beautiful morning~” he sings to himself while one of the little d’s stands in the corner facing the wall contemplating its existence.

~~~

Sorry not sorry Little D/‘s but I do not like them. They are annoying and creep me out. But that’s just me. They would make adorable plush toys though.

Hope you enjoyed my garbage,

Regards,

Y2Ashlee

Could you write Solomon and Diavolo dating headcannons, both nsfw and sfw?

Also, have a good day!

-anon 🪼

I got u anon <3

Diavolo

Dia is a very cliché lover, I'm talking pulling out all the stops from the worst romance movies

The first time you stayed the night at the palace with him as his lover, the room was filled with as many rose petals as he could find, candles too! He had several things prepared for your stay as well! There was a gift basket in the bathroom with shower/bathroom items with your name on them, as well as your favorite products. There was even a brand-new toothbrush on the vanity next to his! Needless to say, he's over the moon about you.

PAMPERS you!!!

he uses his status to get you anything you ask for! You could ask him for the heart of King Tut, and he'd figure out how to get it for you

you're certainly one of the only people in the entire Devildom that will even consider asking the Demon Prince for a piggyback ride, and he will do it no questions asked! He loves using his demonic strength to carry you, even if you really only ask when you're tired

he's very proud to be your partner, he would shout it from the balcony every morning if he could

doesn't let anyone speak ill of you, he has eyes and ears everywhere, and if someone dares use your name negatively, they will often disappear. You usually don't even know you're being talked about.

Unfortunately, his status also gets in the way of many things, he's often very busy with royal demon matters, but once your relationship has become public knowledge, he doesn't mind having you at his side during meetings! He'll also gladly have you seated nicely on his lap while he does his daily paperwork, reveling in your company

Dia's a very lonely demon, so he's quite clingy, asking to spend any and all free time he may have with you! Although, he also asks you to keep him company when he doesn't have free time, which he'll understand if you're not up to it that day

NSFW

Diavolo, surprisingly, has very little experience. Often times, no one dares to flirt with him, and when they do he has to consider their motives. That being said, he is also absolutely shameless about asking for advice from the brothers (probably Asmodeus)

Your first time with him was straight out of a romance novel, he pulled out all the stops from mood lighting to incense; he even made a playlist after searching "best songs to have sex to"

He's a large demon, so he takes his time with you, starting with kisses. Lots of kisses; and the moment you find yourself unable to stifle a giggle, he sinks his teeth into your skin.

Possessive, and will mark you up like no tomorrow, be prepared to walk around with very visible hickeys

Likes lingerie, and has bought a couple of lovely sets, mostly consisting of a deep red color. However he finds himself unable to resist those teeny sleep shorts and tank top you have in your pajama roster; especially if you have nothing on underneath

Has you cum on his fingers several times before even attempting to fuck you. Enough that you're often exhausted by the time he deems you prepared enough

The first time he sank into you, his demon form came out, it felt so good. He also just likes fucking in his demon form, and can certainly tell you do as well.

Sex with Dia lasts hours, usually just short of you passing out, so aftercare is a huge part of the evening! He carries you to the bath, and everything smells like lavender. He's very gentle as he cleans you off with a warm washcloth, and you're often lulled to sleep by the warmth and comfort

Solomon

He likes to annoy you, but in the cute boyfriend way. Like randomly dabbing you up

Casual dates galore! He needs to go grocery shopping? Why don't you come with him! Wanna go to the bookstore? Oh? You're craving Akudonald's? He'll go! He's not one for anything super fancy, although he will take you somewhere nice every once in a while

Very attentive and giving, but like you think he's not paying attention, and he actually is. That book series from the human world you'd been keeping up with? He hands you the newest volume one day! That bracelet you considered at a sop the other day? It's on your wrist the next week. You're struggling with a class? Oh look, a detailed study guide for the whole year.

Not one to really initiate PDA past handholding, but isn't opposed to it! If you wanna make out at this café right now, feel fucking free baby

Bad texter. He often gets so engrossed in his work/experiments that his phone goes ignored for hours

Consistently tries to cook for you (you never let him in the kitchen)

He's not very clingy, and can go at least a day without seeing you, but he likes your company, and wants to make sure you know you're loved! When he's off doing something far away, he'll call you every morning when he wakes up, and every night before he sleeps. If somehow you're unable to answer due to time zones, he'll leave heartfelt voicemails for you to wake up to

Definitely uses your proximity to Lucifer to try and make a pact with him. It's worth a try, but ultimately gets him nowhere.

NSFW

Being a human in a land of demons can make a man feel...insecure to say the least, but what he lacks in demonic traits, he makes up for with magic. It's hard to go a night with him without a little sorcery; perhaps he whispers an incantation that will heighten your sensitivity before he assaults your senses with him. His voice, his hands, his scent; they all envelop you until the only thing running through your head is his name

His stamina isn't like a demon's but it's better than the average human's so he's often tired when you are, and is more than happy to just fall asleep and clean up later, unless you insist upon washing up right away (he may protest a little, but he always relents)

A little more blunt about what he wants than some others. Outright asking to fuck during makeouts is a frequent occurrence.

Enjoys cockwarming, it's relaxing. Plus, he gets to tease you to no end, which he also very much enjoys

Speaking of teasing, it's endless. He particularly likes edging you, feigning pity when you start begging to cum before giving you what you want; over and over again.

Needs a breather after he cums, his heart is pumping in his ears, just give him a second and he'll be fine :)

69

Wants to fuck your throat

Into choking, both getting choked and choking you

Doesn't mind letting you take the lead

The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.

Twst x Obey me!AFAB!reader

(Reader is Ob's MC)

CW:

•NO APPEARANCE SPECIFIED FOR READER.

•Poly.

•Cursing.

•Reader is referred to as "you" or they/them and even "he/him" because NRC boys refer to any living humanoid in the school as a male by default.

•Crowley.

•It's my first time writing a fanfiction, pls tell me if I should continue writing this.

(Random pic go brr—)

What will happen when a perpetually hungry-for-cuddles and tired-of-this-shit hooman gets kidnapped by a motherfucking horse and decides (kinda? Yeah nope. This wasn't by choice.) to enroll in a school full of problematic kids and their irresponsible af headmage?

Chaos. Pure and utter chaos with a lot of high-end simping in the mix (Along with the slightly unhinged urge to commit arson and burn a bitch to crisp)

So read as [y/n] tries to run away from the school-life while trying to just get back to their goddamn harem family (God saw this thought and decided that giving y/n more harem members is the appropriate course of action), all while juggling the harsh responsibilities of being a guardian, babysitter, therapist, healer, protector, local crush and celebrity for poor Yuu and the entirety of NRC.

("Pls send help" — y/n)

• • • • •

Disclaimer: You may have been kidnapped to a whole 'nother world and you may be on the verge of a mental breakdown, but you're sure as hell gonna look hot and serve cunt while you go through all your problems.

Prologue: 1

IMPORTANT: Mc will be referred to as they/them in this story, but in these beginning chapters a lot of people will refer to mc as a dude because y'know; NRC is an ALL BOYS school and nrc students came to expect that those in the school are all boys.(this'll change dw)

In order to avoid confusion, every time that the MC is addressed by others as he/him or more; I will color it blue. why blue? I find it easier to read.

Sample; 'He turned to them.'

The "He" in this passage is referring to MC because the character referring to them thinks that they're a guy.

REMINDER: This is Fanfiction! Not everything will be the same as canon because of this thing called the 'butterfly effect'.

• • • •

The Dorm Leaders + lilia were just about to call this Opening Ceremony over.

So close to getting out of this hall and finally being able to go on their merry ways to escort the new students back to their respective dorms before the hectic-ness of preparing for hours starts to catch up to them.

Though, things are never quite that easy in NRC.

A commotion with the students quite far from them leaves the majority of them annoyed/disgruntled. (Kalim is just confused and curious)

The headmaster rushes to check what was wrong only for a student to point out that there is an unopened coffin floating in a shadowy part of the hall.

Armed with the desire to get this shit over with and to avoid embarrassment from missing a coffin when he was going around opening them and also, with Yuu waiting near the mirror, the headmaster opens the coffin to wake the new student inside.

The dorm leaders walked closer to be able to quickly usher the new student to the dark mirror only to notice that the headmaster froze up.

"...Headmaster? Are you alright?" Azul "Boutta-do-sumthin-devious" Ashengrotto asked with faux concern.

"Ah– Ah yes! I'm alright Mr. Ashengrotto."

Crowley the bitch cleared his throat and reached inside the coffin to wake the student up.

"Hmm..."

The dorm leaders subconsciously or not, peaked inside the coffin before getting gobsmacked by the sleeping student.

Sure, the student looked quite cute ("New potential apple locked in" — Vil.) even with half of his face obstructed but what really drew their attention were the jewelries that he was wearing.

Three luxurious looking earrings on each of his ears, all unique from each other, all with a respective color and design except for that one earring with two gemstones connected to it, orange and indigo. Seven gems, six earrings

An ornament on his forehead that looks to be a combination of a circlet and a Ferronnière made from gold, with intricate black bat-like wings surrounding the red gemstone in the middle.

And that's just the jewelry on his head.

There's also the sleek black choker with a golden sheen on his neck with a teal gemstone surrounded by small diamonds hanging in the middle.

They don't know if this guy has anymore but the jewels they can see for now is more than enough for them to make the deduction that this student has some alot of money on his hands.

No wonder the Headmaster froze up.

Azul subconsciously starts fixing up his appearance when he starts to wake up, wanting to make a good impression on a potential, rich victim client.

• • • •

"Mmh... What the hell.. Why is the bed so hard.."

You mumbled as you stirred, feeling someone lightly shaking you awake.

You opened your eyes, expecting maybe the brothers, solomon, dia, barbs, simeon or luke but you were instead met with a face obscured by a dark bird mask.

"..."

"..."

"You have two seconds to unhand me before you lose your hands." or your life. Depends on who I can summon first.

You made your voice as cold and unwelcoming as possible as the man with the bird mask squawked and backed away a bit in shock.

"H– How rude..! I'll have you know that I was only–"

"Where am I?"

You cut off the weird looking bird-man as you scanned your surroundings and moved to come out of the coffin why were you in a coffin? you were in, in fear of it closing and locking you inside.

You glance warily to the bird-man while keeping an eye on the huge number of robed individuals that you can see. are you in a cult? Damnit, did one of the Brothers' crazy cults decide to kidnap you out of jealousy again??

Especially the seven (reminder that lilia is there with the Housewardens) closest to you and bird-dude.

Some solomon-kinnie motherfucker is currently eyeing you down like he's about to sell your kidneys to the black market or something.. Hmm... Your fight or flight instincts are telling you to sell HIS kidneys instead.

*Ehem*

Burd-dude cleared his throat and addresses you.

"It seems that the teleportation magic has left you disoriented... No matter, I can forgive your offense of trying to threaten me for I am gracious!"

He then looked weirdly like a combination of preening peacock and a proud chicken.

"I repeat. Where in the unholy trinity of the three realms, am I?"

Now that raised a few eyebrows.

You feel for the necklace under your clothes that Thirteen gave you, filing the question of why you're also wearing the same robe as these people away, in your head.

While the guy that you now dub-thee as "bird-bitch" started gawking at you and going on a tangent of being disrespectful, you scan the big hall/room you're in looking for ways to escape.

• • • •

Hmm... This new student seems to be a knowledgeable individual.

Lilia kept his gaze on the student, studying how he took on a defensive stance the moment he got out of the coffin.

They need to calm this student quickly before something happens.

The student seems to be confused on why he's here and is looking for a way to get out.

If the way his eyes moved around the room in quick succession is any indicator.

Not the first time that something like this happens but add in the magicless student's appearance, he gets the feeling that something strange will occur once again.

Seeing him take out and grasp the palm-sized gemstone of a whole 'nother necklace hidden under his robe how many trinkets does this boy have??, Lilia got ready to jump in the fray should something happen.

There's a possibility that the student can use that necklace as a weapon if that was what he chose to hold in this situation and not his other shiny ornaments.

Lilia was proven right when the necklace and the gemstone glowed and formed into a fancy-looking staff that the student quickly pointed towards Crowley.

He looked at the dorm leaders around him to see if any of them will do something.

...

yeah no. If anything, they look like they're watching an amusing show. Especially Schoenheit and Kingscholar..

Though it seems more like Riddle is still assessing the situation before he brings out his infamous collar.

Haahh.. Youngsters these days..

Chapter list | → PROLOGUE 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

Elae: Sorry if my grammar is off, English isn't my first language.

Btw, Thanks for reading this far! Hope you enjoyed it😊

Srry if my format is also off, I've only been using tumblr for a few days now...

MOST IMPORTANTLY; Should I continue reading this fanfic? I wanna know if people still read Obey mexTwst stories here...

The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.

Chp.2

[TwstxObeyme!AFAB!reader]

Whoa.. 😳

Thanks for the feedback, likes and reblogs guys~ It really makes me happy that my hard work is appreciated😊

Guys, what gender should my story's Yuu be in? It's quite hard to refer to two different characters with both gender neutral pronouns 😅

READ FIRST; PROLOGUE:1

• • • •

Again; Pronouns used to refer to MC are blue, because MC will be mistaken for a guy a lot.

SYNOPSIS:

With the Opening Ceremony going off the rails for a second time, MC is more than eager to get back home and probably binge-watch their stress away with their emotionally-repressed boys.

Though with the current situation right now, they don't think that will be happening soon.. Oh well, at least they're not the only otherworldly outlier here... *Nightbringer flashbacks intensifies*

$o|0m°N?

On the other hand, Yuu makes a new friend.

Yuu doesn't know if this makes them a problematic person or not, but Yuu is happy that there's someone else in a similar predicament as them in this strange world, even if it meant that their new companion also had to be kidnapped by a problematic school/lowkey-highkey a cult to be here as well.

But of course, there's trouble in the horizon as the whole fiasco in the mirror ceremony caused the students of NRC to keep a close and careful gaze onto the MC. I'm talkin' from but not limited to; The Fish Mafia, Queen of hearts and Evil queen Incarnates, even down to your perfectly normal 500+ year old war-veteran that looks like a child.

Meanwhile, The Devildom, Human world, and The Celestial realm are feeling a sense of something foreboding in the air... It's probably nothing though.. right?......right?? The calm before the storm. Or the calm before anyone barges into MC's room.

Prologue: 2 Electric-boogaloo

Watching the mysterious and somewhat confused-looking student continuously dodge Riddle and Azul's spells with a calm expression, sharp gaze and a frightening precision, Lilia is waiting for the perfect time to jump in.

Preferably when the student ran in front of him so that he could tackle him to the ground.

Crowley isn't doing anything but screech. Again.

Haah....

• • • •

Azul's smile widens when this ever mysterious new student blocks Riddles' Signature spell by quickly spinning his fancy staff into a make-shift shield once again. what an interesting staff, transforming from a necklace into a cane that can be used for offense and defense..

Azul straight up grins he can see Schoenheit's smile and Kingscholar's shit-eating smirk from here, as well as hear Shroud's maniacal giggles when Riddle screeches at the student to just cooperate and that "NO WE ARE NOT A CULT!!!!" "That's what cults always say!"

Prompting a round of laughter from the useles– *ehem* new students in the hall. How annoying..

What an amusing lad.. Though, Azul wonders.. can all his other jewelry transform as well? Besides the earrings, choker, necklace and forehead ornament that he's wearing, the student also has a ring in his middle finger and in both of his ring fingers, a wide bracelet, and even some bangles in his ankles.

And if all of those jewels can transform into something?....Ohhh, then he really needs to get his hands on them asap.

Seeing Lilia gearing up to jump the student, Azul shifted a bit and tried to lead the student closer to Lilia.

Help idk how to describe shit💀

You click your tongue as you got surrounded by Mr. bird-bitch, that red-mf, Solomon-but-from-wish, Columbina's cousin, lion-dude, "I'm a bad-bitch with a sad past" guy, and a floating tablet.

You ended up getting bound by the bird-bitch's whip the moment you tried to leap off a window in your belphie-escaping-his-responsibilities style. Your pact mark of pride flickered, and Lucifer wonders what MC could be dreaming about for their pride to have taken a hit at this time of the night.

You turned your staff back into a necklace by then, so you couldn't really block the whip and that redhead's spell from hitting you.

You had socked Walmart-Solomon in the face though when he sneakily tried to take one of your bangles while you were being yanked back from the window. Satan stirred in his sleep, feeling but not registering the creeping irritation under your skin.

So now you're here, with a collar for your troubles and a whip locking your arms to your body.

You're just about to resentfully summon Lucifer or something when the redhead who collared you with this uncomfortable fugly-ass neckwear started lecturing you and shit about etiquette and how disrespectful you are for trying to leap out the window and how you should be honored to be there blahblahblah—

Hell no. You ain't letting this short-pimp talk to you like this. (You should really stop hanging around too much with Asmo. Or Levi when he's being a hater on the internet.)

Satan stirred once again, starting to rouse from his slumber as he felt your irritation start to turn into embers of anger.

Lucifer furrows his brows, feeling a rush of indignity that can only have come from you. But why? Weren't you in bed? He hasn't felt you leave through any of the detection barriers he'd set up around your room so you should still be inside, right?

"I think it's much more disrespectful to have your fuckin horses kidnap someone straight from their goddamn bed just to attend a little ceremony they've never even heard of."

You narrow your eyes as you see the bird-man and goons look taken aback in varying degrees of obviousness. (A figure near the mirror perked-up; 'Maybe this person is in a similar situation as them!')

Bruh, what the fuck did they expect??

• • • • •

The Vice-prefects of all seven dorms have led the new students out of the Ceremony hall, leaving behind the five (sorry Mal. Also, Jamil's ass definitely dragged Kalim out with him.) dorm leaders with the headmaster to solve the issues of the sTiLl-uNdEr-tHe-efFecTs-oF-tHe-teLepoRtaTioN-sPelL new student who utterly refuses to cooperate with them.

Riddle is about to combust, Leona wants to go back to bed only to be dragged back by the headmaster—, Vil wants his beauty sleep but was dragged back by that petty bitch, Leona—, While Idia and Azul decided to stick around for their own personal reasons. ("He looks like an anime character—" "Brother, I don't think it's good to be taking pictures of someone without permission—" "AHH–! O-ORTHO?!")

While Yuu is.. hiding behind the mirror.

(The kinda-silver haired guy seems to be in his seventh ritual of making sure his face didn't get bruised from the solid right hook to the face he got.)

(Yuu would've felt bad for him if the guy didn't have such a shady smile on his face while he was massaging his punched jaw.)

Meanwhile...

"Oy human, it's me!"

Mammon knocked on MC's door, fully intent on bothering their sleep and cozying up on their bed again.

He waited for a few seconds, no answer.

He knocked again.

No answer.

... Look, it's not like The Great Mammon is worried or anything but this is strange..

The human always answers their door after a knock or two even if it's the middle of the night.

... Dammit.

Mammon is full of grumbles as he consciously sharpens his senses, tryna sense his the human.

They better not be ignoring him or he'll–

Wait.

What? W- wait a second..

• • • •

The quietness of the night in the House of Lamentation vanished as the sound of a door being busted down rang out.

It's other residents could barely even register the sound before a shout rang out. A shout that sent dread right into their cores.

"MC?!"

← Pr. 1 | Chapter List | Prologue 3 →

'What the?! Why can't I summon them??'

Elae: Hehe~ I'm back with some food~

Thanks for reading this far, I hope you enjoyed this chapter😊

Btw, do y'all want Yuu to be a love interest?

How do I tag ppl??

The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.

[Twst x Obey Me!AFAB!reader]

CHP.3

CW: Same as before.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER: PROLOGUE 2

FUN FACT: You were just about to remove your unbelievable amount of jewelry and go to sleep when the dark carriage appeared in the middle of your room.

You didn't notice because you were busy tryna reach for your bangles but then you were suddenly yanked by the hair into the carriage where you quickly lost consciousness from the strong sleeping magic inside. That horse got no chill, wtf..

This is one of those times where you need to channel out your inner Belphegor.

Be loveably infuriatingly bratty and murderous at the same time.

Turns out, you were yanked by the hair and shoved into the carriage by that creepy looking horse because you were "chosen" by the dark mirror to attend their oh-so-prestigious college. (Move out the way Harry Potter, there's a new chosen one in town—)

So you decided to stress these fuckers into bringing you back to where their unhinged horse first took you.

You don't have to be a genius to know that if any of the brothers notice your disappearance, there can either be a war or a bloodbath. It's either one of those things or both of them.

So as you were freed and guided in front of the mirror by the bird-man who you've come to find out was the headmaster of this oh-so-grand college that you've never even heard of.. you side-eye the Mr. Boutta-sell-yo-kidneys guy that tried to take your bangles before you faced the mirror.

'...Hmm? Who's this?' You think, as you look at the person half-hiding behind the mirror.

They seemed to be quite nervous as they gave you a small wave, earning them a smile from you.

The headmaster seemed to be confused about them for a second but quickly remembered something as they called upon that person.

It seems that Yuu, quite a confusing name they've got also desires to be sent back to their home as they said they had responsibilities they must fulfill.

Nice.

Twinning with your problems fr.

It's like you two looked at each other and something just clicked.

Like, Omg we're both kidnapped by a school filled with hot men and forced to be their unpaid therapists, Slay gurly~ 💅🏼 sry it's your inner asmo talking.

You decide to let Yuu be the first to face the mirror so that they'll get home first.

Ah, aren't you so kind and patient?

You don't know anything about that mirror, so it's best that you let someone else have a go first to see if it's safe.

Sorry Yuu, we may have clicked but I don't know if I can trust any of you right now.

It's too risky.

If we ever meet again, I'll treat you to a meal in hell's kitchen as compensation.

Thank Belphie for my trust issues.

...

...Huh.. The place that Yuu belongs to "doesn't exist"?

What a strange response... This damn mirror better not give you the same words lest it wants to be melted out of existence via hellfire.

You can see the dudes behind y'all who turned out to be the housewardens of the dorms of this school start whispering to each other like some nosy aunties on a regular sunday morning.

You gave reassuring pats on Yuu's shoulder after they went back beside you, getting a shaky smile in return.

"I'm sure that it'll be okay.. Their dark carriage took you so it must have the capabilities to take you back, right?" You whispered to Yuu, trying to keep them from panicking as you notice their breaths starting to quicken.

"People in distress are prone to being exploited and manipulated by others. Breathe slowly and calm your mind." You lean closer to their ear, rubbing small circles on their back.

Panicking won't help anyone. You had to learn that from experience. Now you just want to make sure that Yuu doesn't have to.

You may be alright with using this new acquaintance of yours to verify the safety of the mirror, but you won't stand by and watch them expose their vulnerability to a group of people that haven't really made a show of good morals they might possess.

As the headmaster guy started going on a rant about how "tHiS hAvE nEvEr hApPenEd bEfoRe" you keep an eye on the five housewardens dudes, seeing as those guys were eyeing you and Yuu lmao💀 like they were looking at some weird... thing.

Except for the shady mf who's looking straight at you with his weird-ass smile.

Really giving you the impulse to sock him in the face again.

(Oh, and also that tablet that kept taking pictures of you thinking that they were slick when you can hear the click every time a pic was taken.)

The headmaster then guided you to the mirror, mumbling pleas for the reflective object to work properly.

"I... I seem to be unable to reach the place that you call home.."

The mirror spoke, troubled and seemingly confused.

Yuu peeks at your face, before paling and trying to get closer to comfort you the way that you did for them, only to full on try to tackle you when you bring out your staff to try and break the damned thing.

If you can't bring me home then maybe I can take your power and do it myself.

MEANWHILE...

"There are traces of what seems to be teleportation magic as well as a smidgen of sleeping magic mixed in, on center of MC's room."

Solomon stated, glancing at the people sitting around the big oval table inside Diavolo's castle.

If anyone else saw the attendance in this little meeting of theirs, they'd have a heart attack.

I mean, when will you ever see representatives of the celestial realm mingling with those of the devildom, the human world and the grim reaper in such a serious manner?

You'd think there's an intergalactic threat on the loose if you ever see their expressions..

But that's the thing.

You weren't there to see them.

That's the problem.

Someone or something took you away from them.

Those connected to you via pact can still feel your emotions and connections through your pact marks but nothing more.

At this rate, they worry that you're too far to reach because they couldn't get to you through their pacts. Where could you be?

The only reassurance they have that you're fine, is your candle in Thirteen's hands.

The last string of reason they have that is keeping them from drowning in their grief and anger.

The burning flame of your candle gave them comfort and fueled their determination to bring you back into their arms.

Don't worry MC, we'll bring you back.

No matter what it takes.

← Pr. 2 | Chapter List | Pr. 4 →

I'm tryna sketch my MC, but it's taking a long-ass time.

Elae: Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter y'all😊

Don't forget to like, comment, and reblog guys, it really helps me out :3

See y'all next time~

(still tryna figure out tagging)

@leviathans-tail-scales

@f0uerleafedcl0ver

@a-traveling-void-human

@pumafiredraw

@lunasakuravalentine

I tried to tag all of y'all but it won't work for some reason :c

The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.

[Twst x Obey Me!AFAB!reader]

CHP. 4

PREVIOUS CHP.: PROLOGUE 3

Thank you guys for the likes, reblogs and comments.

Also, to the people who became my followers, I'll be forever grateful for that😊

CW: When MC gets mistaken as a guy, they get referred to as he/him, but the problem is that there's too many males around the MC.

So, I've decided to color the pronouns blue when it's MC that's being addressed. Just to avoid confusion.

CLARIFICATION: The headmaster, and MC knows that Yuu is from another world, so MC decided to play along and pretend that they're from the same world as Yuu. (The human world where MC came from is mostly similar to the human world that Yuu describes. i.e. landmarks, cultural, knowledge, current trends, anime and manga are all mostly the same.)

REMEMBER: Read this before the chapter.

Experience changes people.

If you see MC doing something you think you won't do and you decide to complain about it, remember this:

• You act the way you do because of the things that you've gone through in your life.

• MC is the same.

• They experienced a lot of traumatic events and almost lost their lives a fuck-ton of times.

• Because of that, they've changed. They've diverged from being you into the MC that they are now.

• The life you're living now shall be treated as the MC's canonical past.

• Also, because The Obey Me!cast feels bad from all the times you suffered and almost died because of them, they tend to overcompensate you.

• You get dressed in the finest of fabrics, most luxurious jewels, as well as housed and fed with the best things that the three realms have to offer.

• You don't take them for granted, but years of living with that lifestyle had raised your standards to new heights and changed the way that you act towards certain things.

• You're free to make up your own head canons if you don't like mine, also y'all can give me feedback if you want so I can improve my work.

• This story will be set a few years after the canon of the Obey Me games.

• • • • •

Who would've thought that it would be a bad idea to try to trick someone who literally reeks of luxury to live in an old, bout-to-fall-apart dormitory?

Well, certainly not Crowley.

That fact became known when 'The shady looking dorm leader™' and also, the tablet decided to tag along with you, Yuu and Crowley, but then had to help Yuu in holding you back so that you wouldn't beat the ever living crap out of the headmaster the moment he dared to bring y'all in front of this rustic establishment and say "It had charm". (Too many You's)

Oh really? really?? Oh you'll see real charm when I beat you straight into the afterlife you greasy son of a bitc–

*Ehem*

It did not end well.

So instead of that, the headmaster had to temporarily put you and your fellow stranded-in-dis-school-human into the infirmary as your temporary abode and promised to fix the shoddy dorm so that it can safely house people in it. (Grim will appear in the future, dw)

*Que Azul tryna make you stay in Octavinelle and you vehemently declining that offer.*

Also, you're starting to get creeped-out by the floating tablet that keeps following you around and won't stop with taking pictures. there's also the small maniacal giggles coming out of the device.

• • • • • •

So there you two are, two people that've been kidnapped by this school's fuckin carriage are now bonding in the infirmary and distracting each other by venting about problems back home. (You two are too wary to be able to sleep properly.)

Like, yes Yuu, I'm in a polyamorous with more than a dozen problematic individuals.

Yes, it works out. somehow

Damn, three assignments due tomorrow all from the same subject? Have you ever tried cheating off of your classmates?

Oh— wait what?! a classmate from biology was caught fucking with a professor in a classroom!? Seriously??

No, I unfortunately no longer have a grasp on the concept of private space and poverty.

Yes, maintaining a relationship with a lot of people at the same time can be hard.

A lot of them are rich.

Wait, a seatmate of yours really gave two free expensive sketch pads just because you asked?? Where can I find that person??

Yes they all act like my sugar daddies and my man-children in one way or another.

No, don't you dare pimp yourself out, okay? There may be a lot of people in my life but the important thing is that we all love each other.

We support, comfort, protect, and guide each other to the best we can.

No— that didn't happen in a day, I had to bend over backwards and almost die a shit-ton of times before I managed to wiggle myself firmly into the hearts of those fuckers.

...Q- Questions about our sex life will be automatically ignored.

Just.. be nice to others, even if it's seemingly stupid.

Unless they are absolute scum then just maintain distance.

You just gotta eyeball it to figure out when to stop being nice to someone.

Never and I mean NEVER treat anyone badly unless they did something unforgivable to you.

Don't call me kind. It's easier to have a grasp on other people if you're nice.

Pft— You once saw a book called "How to be a sugar baby 101" in the school library?! And you saw your principal reading it?!

Sure-sure, I'll help you with your math homework— wait a second.. Seriously?? We've been kidnapped, I ain't allowing you to do math. Where the hell did you even hide that thick-as-fuck test sheet anyways?? Up your ass?!

• • • •

You sigh for the third time this hour, looking at Yuu who's making a "Mom.. I threw up in the carpet... I'm sowwy🥺" expression as they stand beside your bed.

"What happened?"

Yuu winced, feeling embarrassed as they hear you talk to them like a disappointed parent, they had failed to appeal to Crowley about becoming a temporary student of this school and now had to be a janitor/errand kid.

"The headmaster said that I'll be the handy-man of the campus while he searches for a way to get us home..."

You feel a vein in your head throb and your eye start to twitch by of the sheer audacity being shown in front of your face.

You are now feeling the immense urge to hex that bird-bitch.

Satan sat straight in his seat, speaking out to the others in the meeting table.

"I can feel irritation and the urge to curse someone again." He said.

It would've been funny if this was another situation.

"That's definitely from MC, isn't it? You mentioned being half-asleep and feeling MC get agitated through your pact mark, right?" Diavolo asked.

"Yes, at least our pacts are still intact..." Satan nodded.

"Great, we can use this to monitor MC even if they're far away." Lucifer stated.

Countless search-parties and interrogations have already been conducted, but they're still clueless on where you can be or who could've taken you.

Even Barbatos couldn't see what had happened.

They're starting to get agitated, MC..

• • • • •

Jade watched as Azul frantically drafts and redrafts a new plan of his.

It seems that something caught the eye of their housewarden in the ceremony today.

"What could be so eye-catching that you're in such a hurry to obtain it, Azul?" Jade couldn't contain his curiosity and asked.

"It's a new student, Jade." Azul started.

"He possesses such a large amount of magical artifacts in his hands, It's unbelievable! They were all high quality too!"

Jade blinks.

"Don't you have enough magical artifacts around?"

Jade is confusion.

"You don't know it because you weren't there." Azul narrowed his eyes at Jade.

"I first thought those jewelry of his were similar to the ones that you can buy with enough money in annual auctions, but then I realized that it's very likely that those jewelry are customized."

"...How so?"

"So I decided to try and take a closer look, but when I actually got closer and almost touched one of them, I felt a strong thrum of magic that I haven't felt before!"

Oh?

Now that got Jade's attention.

Azul has been exposed to a lot of strong, powerful people and magical artifacts over the years that he and his twin were following this dormleader of theirs and yet there was actually an artifact so strong that he can feel strong waves of magic by just almost touching it?

How curious..... If the magic of the artifact was so strong, why didn't Azul sense it up until he literally almost held it in his hands?

Seems like this year won't be boring, after all..

• • • • •

BONUS: Someone has a crush.

"Brother, Your package has arrived— What are you... Are you making fan art of Mr. [L/n]...?"

Idia screams like a dumb girl in a horror movie as he tries to block the screen with his body.

"O-ORTHO?! WH-WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT KNOCKING FIRST??!"

"And... what's with the pose?"

Ortho tilts head innocently, confused on why his brother is drawing a new student in a pose that can often be seen on videos that are called "Thirst traps". he's still confused about why they're called that way.

Idia: "O- ORTHO THIS ISN'T ANYTHING BAD I SWEARAHGJSI—"

*Starts to fuckin steam*

"brOTHER YOU'RE BURNING THE CHAIR!"

"AH CRAP!"

← Pr.3 | Chapter List | Pr. 5 →

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I woke up today and decided to kick canon's ass.

Elae: Thanks for reading this far.☺️

See y'all next time~

Next chapter: Prologue 5

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@leviathans-tail-scales

@citrus-cinnamon

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The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.

[Twst x Obey Me!AFAB!reader]

CHP. 5

Previous chapter; Prologue 4

CW: Same as previous chapters.

The start of the "Rose-Red Tyrant aka. Satan but tiny🌹" is nearing, y'all 🤭

Next morning...

You dragged Crowley to a quiet corner of the infirmary while temporarily kicking Yuu out, just so that you and this squawking headmaster can have a heart-to-heart discussion about the roles that you and Yuu will play in the future as Crowley tries to search for your way home.

"You try to make me and Yuu work as janitors and I will skin you alive."

"You can't just—"

"Trust me, no one will ever find your goddamn body."

You cut him off, looking at him dead-in-the-eye, full of seriousness.

You're not about to get demoted into a janitor today, nuh uh.

Not now, not ever.

Crowley can go fuck himself.

"It's the responsibility of your goddamn school to compensate us for this situation and yet you try to make us into your errand boys? I gotta give you some credit man– I mean, that audacity is through the fucking roof!"

Crowley shrinks to himself a little bit, you may not be raising your voice but you're sure as hell figuratively spitting enough venom on him that it almost burns his skin. Looks like the years of mingling and having a pact with the avatar of pride is starting to pay off.

"Actually trying to get us to go around like servants at your beck at call?! You actually dare??"

"Like seriously? Do you have any idea how hectic my daily schedule already is? Because of your damn carriage I'm a whole world away from home! And yet you have the face to try and use us for labor like we wanted to be here?? How shameless can you be?!"

With each venomous spat of yours, Crowley shrinks more and more into himself as he starts fiddling with his fingers.

He takes quick glimpses of your 'Angry-Disappointed Asian Mom Pose™' and attempts to make himself look even more smaller.

• • • • •

After that verbal beat down, you calmed yourself and decided to be a part-time nurse of this school while Yuu can be your part-time assistant. Things will be easier if you're a part of the faculty, or will you be? you'll only be a part-timer after all... though, being a nurse in the infirmary is easier than running around in this campus sweeping floors and cleaning shit. You also need money to earn necessities. Ugh, what a pain...

You then decided to drag the now-too-timid Crowley by the ear straight into his office so that you two can discuss your paychecks. With written contracts and a witness.

. . . . . . .

. . . . .

. . .

.

"What happened here?"

You asked, seeing Yuu standing beside a charred statue as a ginger and a cat scrambled to get away, only to end up getting tied by Crowley's whip as the man scolds them and Yuu for some reason.

.

You can feel years of your lifespan being shaved off when the ginger (who you've learned had been the cause of this mess) had the audacity to be shocked that he's also going to be punished for the charring of the 'Queen of hearts' statue.

It looks like being absolutely shameless is a prerequisite to be enrolled in this goddamn college.

"Hold your horses crow-man, why is Yuu being punished when they weren't even involved in burning that damn statue?"

.

So... it turns out... You may have infected Yuu with your potty mouth and chronic bitchy-ness that Yuu is actually responsible for further escalating the fight between the ginger -Ace- and the cat -grim... srsly?- as by copying the way you speak and ended up immensely bruising Ace's ego with their insults... You don't know if you should be proud of that fact or not..

You turned to the headmaster.

"...Yuu cleans 15 windows. That's the most you can give them. You can give the rest of the 100 windows to the ginger and the cat."

"Oi!—" Ace tried to speak, only for Yuu to discreetly cover his mouth. Ain't no way they're letting Ace stop you from tryna lessen their cleaning sentence.

Crowley seems to want to say something so you spoke even quicker, raising your voice so that the students around can hear you.

"Those windows are taller than Yuu and I can ever dream to be in our entire lives. You aren't going to make a magicless human clean more than 15 of those things are you?"

*Close-eyed smile*

"Well—" Crowley sputtered.

"Oh who am I kidding! Of course you won't! You're a very gracious and benevolent headmaster, aren't you..? There's no way you'll risk straining and over-working a magicless minor over a mistake they didn't even directly cause, would you~?"

*Happily clasping your hands together*

"Erm..."

Crowley would've gone back to shrinking his frame and fiddling with his fingers if there weren't students around, the face you're making is just scaring him too much... That kind of smile that made him want to meet your expectations or else..

"Ahh~ I'm soo~ happy that kind people like you are in charge of the youth! Knowing a young one's limits and adjusting to them even if they've made a big mistake! You are such an amazing educator, headmaster!"

The students, Yuu, Grim and Ace stared blankly at you, gobsmacked – exasperated – flabbershamabergasted by the stunt you're pulling.

There's no way that would work right..?

. . . .

. . right??

Crowley clears his throat, thankful that more than half of his face is covered by his mask, lest his red face be seen by all.

"A- ah yes, you're absolutely right Mr. [L/n]. Th- there's no way I can be such a callous individual, Yuu shall clean 15 windows while Grim and Trapolla will clean the rest."

He said speedily before making a swift exit, looking like a chicken with his tail on fire.

You sharply gazed at the students around and opened your mouth.

"Any of you have a fuckin problem with us?"

Those words caused the other students to start speed-walking away and the Weasley-lookin-mf scrambled to free himself from Yuu's hand.

• • • • •

Heterochromia eyes gleamed from a shady corner near the statues of the great seven.

"Hehe~ looks like Azul is right to be interested with the little cone snail–chan~"

• • • • •

MC... please.. be safe.

We'll find you, don't worry..

Then we'll make sure that no one will take you from us ever again.

← Pr. 4 | Chapter List | Pr. 6 →

Don't forget to like, and reblog guys, it really helps me and gives me motivation :>

Elae: Thanks for reading this far y'all, I really appreciate all of you 🤭

See you guys next time. <3

@leviathans-tail-scales

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The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.

[Twst x Obey Me!AFAB!reader]

CHP. 6

PREVIOUS CHAPTER: PROLOGUE 5

I get really happy every time one of you guys like, reblog, or comment on my chapters, Thanks guys :3

CW: ANYTIME that MC is referred with male address or pronouns it's going to be color blue. There's also a shit-ton of cursing here.

You can feel your blood pressure ascending into the Celestial Realm (faster than a newly deceased good person) as this Azul Asheng-something mf drags you into his oh-so-fancy "Monstro Lounge" while you're just peacefully trying to fuck off from his dorm.

You were unfortunately curious enough to go poke your head into the mirrors leading to the dorms to see what they've got and use it as inspiration, but then this greasy-ass bitch sadly spotted you and literally hounded you to go in.

You would've socked him in the face for a second time but it turns out that he's a pretty important figure in this school.

You don't really wanna get in trouble for doing that.

(You may be able to do it to Crowley but you don't know if this attempted-bangle-thief has influential parents or something.. Crowley meanwhile, acts pretty parent-less for you.)

You are keeping an eye on him though.

If he tries any bullshit then he's getting his ass kicked.

Social hierarchy be damned.

You didn't rein in 10 demons, 3 angels, The greatest sorcerer in all of humanity and The literal fuckin grim reaper, (who're all constantly dragging you onto bullshit as either an accomplice or the baby-sitter) just for some dude in an Emo-friendly-cut-my-life-into-pieces college to best you.

• • • •

Jade did a double-take.

"..."

He blinked.

Azul is sending him SOS signals by blinking morse code at him.

Jade rubbed his eyes for a few seconds.

"..."

Nope, still the same.

Azul: *Blinking for help intensifies*

...Pft–

He bit his lip to stop his laughter from escaping.

Who would've thought that he'll see a day where his precious housewarden is having his face passive-aggresively squished and kneaded by a new student? And also, probably getting himself threatened based on the eerie smile on the students' face.

Azul should be grateful that floyd isn't here, lest he'll have two people on his hands that are more than happy to squish him around. He should be grateful there isn't anyone else around, really.. Lest the reputation he took so long to build crumbles.

Oh he can just imagine it at the top of his head.. The poor octo-mer will probably combust from embarrassment and maybe even go find himself an octo-pot that he can shimmy himself into.. oh how he misses those days...

(Elae: I'm just imagining baby Azul shimmying into a lil pot.. Ugh, so adorable I'm getting cute aggression.)

He does eventually step in to stop the student from treating Azul's face like a squishy piece of dough He took a couple of pictures ofc. he ain't an amateur, but not before almost getting his own face fall victim to the new students' hands.

• • • •

"You try this shit again and see what happens." You smiled at him as you squished his face.

He's still holding onto your wrists but he seems to have given up from escaping your passive-aggresive face massage. Instead, he seems to have settled in blinking so fast he can almost fly with his eyelashes.

This bitch really had the audacity to try and get you to sell your jewelry to him in exchange for a room in his frankly unimpressive dorm. (You have more than a dozen rich and powerful simps. A dorm in a college ain't gonna be enough to impress you anymore.)

"— I know that you must not have any money to pay but maybe we can compromise, it's gonna be hard for you and your friend (Yuu) to keep staying in the infirmary after all.."

"We can manage—"

"And my benevolence will not allow me to let some poor unfortunate souls be without accommodations... So what if, for a week of stay each, you give me your jewelry in retur—"

You got so pissed at the audacity that you almost strangled him but changed your tactic into a hateful squeezing the last second. (You can't be reported for physically violent behavior rn.)

He speaks as if the entirety of this college and its dorms can actually be worth even a single piece of the ring in your left hand.

But seriously? 15,000 madols (that's the price Azul told you) for one night of stay?? If you're gonna be paying that much money for a single room, then that room better solve all your problems, fulfill your greatest ambitions and then suck your imaginary dick afterwards.

Your annoyed musings were cut off when a hand tries to remove your grip from Azul's face.

You absent-mindedly reach your other hand, trying to deliver another kneading to a new victim.

• • • • •

Azul covers his face with his hand, embarrassed of how the situation played out.

It doesn't help that Floyd is cackling like a deranged maniac at him right now.

Thank goodness they're in his office.

"Can you stOp?!"

Poor bbg was so embarrassed his voice cracked :<

Hmph.

Jokes on you, even if he got embarrassed today he still got closer to your jewelry.

And now, he can 100% confirm that those ornaments aren't just for decorations.

The strong magic from your rings that were pressed against his face confirmed it.

Those things are definitely custom-made magical artifacts of the highest caliber.

Now.. How to get them...

• • • • •

You stopped walking, feeling someone's gaze on you.

Looking around discreetly, you didn't see anyone but you can still feel the eyes on your form.

Yeah no.

You continue on, ignoring the feeling of being watched, but not going to dark places or spots where you'll be all alone.

Time to check in on Yuu and their unwilling gang of window cleaners.

See if they're done already.

The sun is starting to go down, after all.

• • • • •

Mc... We're going to come find you.

Don't worry..

Please stay safe..

Please don't forget that we love you more than anything else in existence..

0u® |!gHt įN tH€ d@RkN€§$

← Pr. 5 | Chapter List | Pr. 7 →

EDIT: WTF WHY DID THIS CHAPTER GET POSTED?! I SAVED IT IN THE GODDAMN DRAFTS THIS AIN'T SUPPOSED TO BE DONE YET WHAT THE HELL?!

Oh welp, ain't nothing I can do about it now..

Thanks for reading this far, readers☺️

Reblog or I'll bite ya ankles😈

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@caprinaesprout (should I put you in the permanent tag list for this series?)

Tagging isn't working for some reason so I can't tag some of y'all. The usernames I tagged just fuckin disappearing.

Tumblr is messing with me rn.

You wanna throw hands, Tumblr??

List of Chapters for my fanfiction named;

The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.

Prologue (Shit's about to go down.)

(Pls reblog, it gives motivation :3)

(P.s If there's anything wrong with the links, pls tell me)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Tyrannical blood rose (Aka. Catan's anger issues mixed with Luke's height, and amplified by Luci's legendary stick up the ass.)

• Chp. 1.1

• Chp. 1.2

• Chp. 1.3 (Yet to be available)

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Sunset Revolution (Aka. Belphie but with less yanda-yandar-eyi and more turning people into sanda-sandy-eyi.)

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Fishy practices (Aka. Solomon but somehow shadier due to the lack of fucks given towards the betterment of humanity. Feat. Barbatos' clone + his chaotic lookalike.)

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One man coup d'etat (Aka. It's snek boi time with illegal imprisonment in what is equivalent to a boot camp sprinkled in for some flavor.)

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The envy of the fairest (Aka. Asmodeus but with less manwhore tendencies. Both serving cunt nonetheless)

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Be my Persephone (Aka. Why is no one in this goddamn school normal?! Ortho put the particle canon down—)

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Sleeping beauty got nothing on this perfect bitch. (Aka. Ass-kissing to authority gone wrong.)

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The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.

[Twst x ObeyMe!AFAB!reader]

CHP. 7

Again, I thank y'all for the reblogs, likes and comments guys, it really helps me :)

CW: Blue pronouns or address for MC every time they get mistaken for a guy. Also, I'm a potty mouth so MC is too.

Inhale..

Exhale....

Inhale......

Exhale.......

Inhale.........

Ex-fucking-hale.......

You're about to have a stroke right now.

You should've just went back to the goddamn infirmary instead of checking in on these obnoxious, bitch-less, probably father-less, motherfuckers.

It's just cleaning windows!! How the hell can you mess up like this?! Why the fuck did the cafeteria chandelier get involved??

GODDAMNIT!! WHY IS YUU INVOLVED AS WELL?! AHHHH—!

*One eternity of screaming like a banshee later*

After sending those damn kids and cat away to get some sort of magical stone in some godforsaken mine, you wrangled with the headmaster for at least two hours to prevent him from writing up the expulsion papers of Yuu and that Blue-haired kid who was mostly innocent about the ordeal.

(Meanwhile, encouraging him to kick that Ace kid and the damn cat off the school. You ain't about to let audacity run free rn, mostly because you feel yourself start genuinely tweaking as you almost got possessed by the urge to sucker punch someone's soul out of their body.)

[Satan perked up, there it was again.

That distinctive spark of wrath that he can feel through your pact with him is both concerning and comforting.

On one hand, the anger he feels means that you're alive. And seeing that what he's feeling through the pact is mostly annoyance, then that must mean that nothing marginally bad or traumatizing had happened to you yet.

You're actually more pissed off in a 'someone-had-the-audacity-to-eat-my-snacks' kind of way more than anything else, meaning that you're safe for now.

But on the other hand, he doesn't know how long that temporary safety will last.

There's also the fact this is the fourth time he'd felt that spark of 'I-wanna-punt-someone-into-the-fuckin-sun' kind of anger from you, which is worrying because it hasn't even been 48 hours since you were kidnapped by some mf.

He shook his head, calling upon a subordinate (read: Devoted fan) to collect more and more books to learn what type of teleportation and sleeping magic was used in your kidnapping.

With the massive search party spanning all three realms that they'd called upon, they will find you sooner or later.

And once they do...

Well... You'll need to get used to being with someone at all hours of the day.]

*Passive-aggresively reminding Crowley that he can't kick out an innocent kid for something they didn't directly do as they had no way of stopping the events that transpired.*

["You don't want the word to get out that you let an innocent teen roam around in a foreign world with absolutely nothing to their name and nobody to protect them, right?"

"That is true, but I still can't just let this go unpunis–"

"Especially when it's the school's faulty equipment that took them so far away from all of their loved ones and belongings, right?"]

Needless to say, Yuu ended up being "fired" in the end, quite an unfortunate result because they will need to freeload off of you until the end of your stay in this world. (Poor them, they got fired before they knew that they had a job in the first place.)

Oh well, it's better than being kicked out from practically their only way back home right now...

Hays... That cruel crow..

Anygays, it's time to snoop around and hopefully make some connections to the residents of this school.

This is a well-known college, right? So there should be influential people here somewhere...

Hehe.. It's time you bring out your gaslight, gatekeep, gold-digging skills so that you can girlboss your way into stability inside this foreign world.

• • • • • •

Suddenly, more than a dozen individuals felt a strong shiver run up their spines.

Haha... Well that's ominous!

• • • • • •

Ortho deadpanned at his brother.

It seems that almost burning down their dorm room last night isn't enough to deter him from making his [Mr. L/n x reader] fanfiction complete with mandatory fan art for every single chapter.

Haaa....

But at least his brother isn't 'fanboying' about another fictional character again...

Hm... Now that he thinks about it..

Maybe his brother will be more inclined to make friends if it's Mr. L/n!

And thus begins Ortho's journey of being an unknowing wingman as he tries to get his introverted brother to make friends.

• • • • • •

You narrowed your eyes as you looked at the small gift on top of your temporary bed in the infirmary.

Dats suspicious....

Dats weird......

You turn your necklace into a staff and start poking the box, trying to see if it'll suddenly turn into a horrific eldritch monster and jump you. (Won't be the first time that happened.)

• • • • •

"It is done, ××× ×× ××××××" (This is too easy to guess😑)

• • • • •

Diavolo sighed for the tenth time that hour, lamenting how trying to focus on his paperwork is a really hard task when MC gets thrown into the situation.

'Maybe a small break will help clear my head?'

He might as well just go out for a walk in the garden to get some fresh... air...

Oh? what is this?

His eyes scanned the dark envelope he'd seen wedged under the 'To burn' stack of paperwork in his desk.

This envelope wasn't here yesterday...

After confirming that the piece of paper wasn't cursed or charmed, he opened it with apprehension.

...!

This..!

• • • • •

Barbatos appeared in the office, tense as he'd heard his lord call out his name with haste.

Reading the letter shoved in front of his face by the serious Diavolo, Barbatos made a mental note to get the dungeon chambers ready.

They've got themselves a lead.

← Pr.6 | Chapter List | Chp. 1.1 →

Just tell me if y'all wanna get added in the permanent taglist, even if I already tagged y'all here.

That's just so I'll know if you wanna get tagged in all the upcoming chapters of this fanfic.

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Reblog or I'll take your ankles😈 (Pls like and reblog, it really gives me motivation🥺)

Also, the next chap is the start of Arc 1: Satan but short.

The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.

[Twst x Obeyme!AFAB!reader]

CHP. 1.1: The start of the Blood Rose Tyrant.

Thank you, my amazing readers, for all the likes, comments, and reblogs🥹 It makes so happy, like– almost nothing can top the joy of seeing y'all liked my work :)

Btw, If you have any questions about my tagging and/or literally anything you wanna ask me bout the fic, just reach out to me and I'll try my best to answer you.😊

CW: Cursing, Idk what else... There's also the pronoun schtick I've been yapping about since pr. 1. (i.e MC will get mistaken for a pretty guy a lot -Mc is AFAB referred to as they/them- because the NRC cast have come to expect only boys to be in the school. Excluding the paintings ofc.)

(My pic)

Fun fact: While all of your ornaments act as containers to very *nom*-able amounts of magic, such a thing can be dangerous as it may give away your location if you need to hide or run away from someone.

Therefore, all of them were cast with a special spell developed by Solomon that makes it so that people can't sense that magic unless they're really close to you physically.

(Not to mention, only exceptional mages can actually have the hope of picking up on that magic as your all jewelry were also cast with a heavy magical concealment blessing from both Micheal and Luke.)

• • •

'What the hell is this?'

You think as you fiddled with the fancy pouch in your hands.

You had opened the gift box to find the pouch containing some basic skincare products and just went; ( •_•)..?

Like– What the hell? Who does that?? Are they saying that you're ugly and needed to start taking care of your face?! Well excuse you, I'll have you know –whomever you are– that this face was approved by Asmodeus himself you rude lil' shi—

*Ehem*

So like any sane person is supposed to do in that situation, you checked if the products were cursed or charmed and then pocketed it to maybe sell it in the future for some cash. (Lovely gift but you were taught never to use/ingest things given to you by strangers.)

Leaving the infirmary, you venture into the botanical garden, hoping you'd find some edible plants that you and Yuu can nibble on until you can procure other food options and some all important moneh. (Ugh, if only that damn crow didn't escape and hide away from you, you would've extorted his cowardly-ass and bought some food instead of needing to resort to this bs.)

'Trying to find a stone in a long abandoned mine is simply a fools errand.'

You thought as you absent-mindedly skipped past a certain tall, dark, and handsome man with horns, unknowing of the look of pure curiosity pointed at your back as you continued your musings.

'But oh well, they wanted to try so they might as well be those fools.'

You're not gonna stop them if they wanna try to fix things even though you've mostly stabilized the situation. (Not that they know.)

Damn, you also need to go to the library later so that you can learn what changes you'd need to do in order to adapt and know the problems you'd likely experience in this world.

Knowing yourself and your history for being a magnet of chaos, It'd probably involve almost dying more times than you have fingers and unearthing some deeply-buried soul-crushing trauma in which the only thing you'll get in return are the friends you've made along the way.

Aside from that though, you'd need to gain yourself a foothold in this society.

Preferably, there would be a lot of rich and influential people in this school to suck up to, but if those aren't enough then maybe you can venture into industries where you can kiss-ass in peace.

As much as you'd love to be optimistic, Crowley is the almost literal embodiment of a dead-beat dad barely pays child-support and your own search for a way home may take years before coming to fruition.

Tsk. You can feel your stress levels transcending the mortal plane of existence again as you can already envision the figurative mountain-range you'd need to climb just to achieve stability in this place.

$°\•m°n.. p/€∆$3.. H€\₱ m£...

Times like these just make you wanna curl up onto the floor in a fetal position and let the earth consume you whole.

Oh! And you also need to obtain a stronger blackmail material against Crowley to make sure he won't try anything remotely against you.

'Hmm... But maybe...'

You think as you took a quick and discreet glance to a security camera that had been "coincidentally" pointed at you.

Well, not really a coincidence.

If the mf behind these creepy-ass cameras —that have been watching you since your arrival here, mind you—, can lend you a hand then that would be the optimal outcome. There are a lot of security cameras after all...

Though there's also a large possibility that the fucker wanted you dead because of either boredom, simple bloodlust, money, vengeance (for some reason), your organs or all of the above.

You sighed as you entered the botanical garden, telling yourself to just worry about that later and focus on finding food.

If you get in trouble for taking plants here, you'll just throw Crowley under the bus. (figuratively and literally if he decides to be a bitch about it.)

• • • •

Yuu, Grim, Ace, and Deuce stumbled out of the mirror, finally away from the creepy forest and back into the college.

They all flinched and turned their heads back when they heard a dramatic 'Tsktsktsk–' from behind them.

"Well well well~ Look who finally decided to show up at–"

*checks imaginary wrist watch*

"46 minutes past midnight.. Huh.. If you all got any curfew for your dorms then you're both toast. Can't believe y'all spent more than five hours looking for a single rock..."

You said, referring to the two first years who flinched under your words and judgemental eyes.

"You all look like shit by the way."

Yuu awkwardly scratched their head.

"Thanks?"

*Sigh...*

"You're welcome, bbg."

"Just hurry up and give that rock to the fuckin crow already so that you all can spare the world from having to witness anymore of your gross, sweaty, homeless-lookin selves."

Deuce shrunk even further behind Yuu. (funny because Yuu was at least half-a-head shorter.)

Ace meanwhile, has too much ego to not say anything back.

"We wouldn't be looking like this if you at least helped!" He snarked.

"Why should I?"

You Dwayne-the-rock-Johnson raised your eyebrow at him.

"I don't owe any of you a smidgen of literally anything so why should I help?"

It wasn't a question, but a statement. Because why should you help? They should be grateful you even talked Crowley out of expelling them immediately. Not that they know but still...

But of course, audacity is gonna audacity. Because, Ace really had the nerve to look offended by your words, as if you weren't saying something as truthful as the sky being blue, the grass being green, and your ass being a literal masterpiece from god.

"Don't even try to pass off the blame, Weasley-wannabe. I know it, you know it, your mom knows it, your dad if you have one, your entire bloodline and your non-existent cow knows it, there's literally no point."

Ace literally almost snarled at you like a damn dog, pft– That's what he gets from pissing you off by existing earlier.

"Oh shut up!"

He then looked like he was about to start a rant of how unfair his life was and how he totally didn't deserve any of this and blahblahblahblahblah–

You swear on Diavolo and Luci's fruity man-boobs, you'll hang this bitch upside down like a bat if you had to hear another complaint about things being unfair for him.

What about you? or Yuu? Isn't life more cruel and unfair to you two? Taking you both away from loved ones and shoving you into a world where you two need to fight for a temporary sanctuary as you both try to go home with no real proof you'll actually be able to make it back?

Isn't life more unfair to you? Right when you almost finally achieved the start of your happy ending.. You were taken away from the people that you fought tooth and nail to be with.. And now, they're all too far away for you to reach... again.

Deuce elbowed Ace, thankfully making the jab to the ribs painful for the annoying ginger.

You dramatically sighed again, turning to Yuu and Deuce.

"Remember kids, don't copy Ace's attitude okay? Lest you want to end up single and with no bitches for the rest of your life."

Ace's right eye twitched erratically, shouting at you to shut up and to stop messing with him.

• • • • •

Talking with the crow is an annoying affair as expected. At least now, Yuu is finally an official learner of the school. Even if they're just half-a-student with the loud talking cat. (That kinda reminds you of Mammon, now that you think of it. Also very funny because the cat's name is grim of all things..)

Oh, and you're a prefect now. You're definitely going to make that everyone's problem. Hehehehehe~

"So the abandoned dorm we were supposed to live in is fixed now? How? Hasn't it only been like– a day?"

You ominously beamed at the question, releasing a sinister little giggle that caused Ace, Deuce, and the now wide-awake Grim to subconsciously shiver while Yuu refrained from asking further questions and just wisely snickered instead.

Unseen by everyone, you sent a quick devious little smile to a wall where a certain electrical device was mounted, biting down a snort when you saw the security camera suddenly snap into another direction, as if it was a person embarrassed that they got caught by someone they were staring at.

You then had to hold back a cackle as you remembered how easily this newly made stalker friend of yours snitched on the headmaster, like– you literally didn't even do anything, the flustered boy just gave you the blackmail material that you needed. Well, maybe you did corner him a little bit by using his own electronics against him but you're pretty sure he enjoyed it for some reason if the way he literally blurted out 'mommy-' at you was anything to go by—

Haha, the benefits of having a hacker as a fren :3

• • • •

Kicking away the two idiots and telling them to go back to their dorms already, you dragged Yuu inside the now newly fixed dorm.

The two of you needed to talk about a few things and arrangements..

• • • •

Quickly opening the door in hopes that the fucker that was banging on it gets mash-dabbed face-first, you saw nothing but disappointment as the bastard — Ace — had actually moved away from the door in an impressive display of intuition and spidey-sense before you had even wretched the door open.

"What the fuck do you want, you ugly punyeta?"

It hasn't even been a few hours since this mf parted ways with you and Yuu, so what could be the problem now?

. .. . . . . ..

"No, you're sleeping on the couch."

"What?! But why?!! There are perfectly good rooms here!"

"All the other rooms besides the one we're using are still unfurnished. The beds in them are yet to be assembled and the floors are dusty because of the quick renovations." Yuu stated, rubbing the bridge of their nose.

"Ughhhhh! Just let me squeeze in, I promise I won't take up too much space!"

"Nice try but no."

"Tch, You're all so stingy and inhospitable.."

"Yuu, Do you hear that?" You said, theatrically cupping your ear with a hand.

"Yes, It seems that a forever virgin is talking." Yuu answered with a smirk.

"Hey!"

"Sorry, you oompa-loompa lookin ass— we unfortunately can't understand the language of people who can't pull."

"You guys are the worst."

"Thanks bbg." you and Yuu paused.

"Pft–"

"Oh dear~ It seems you're starting to take after me."

"Indeed it seems." Yuu replied, even subconsciously copying the fancy accent you used.

"Oh no, you're multiplying. :0"

"Haha, we're still dragging you to apologize to your Housewarden later."

"Aww shucks.."

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The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.

[Twst x Obey Me!AFAB!reader]

CHP 1.2 : Deck of Cards.

CW: Cursing... Idk what else.

Um what the actual f.... WHY IS THIS HERE THIS WAS IN MY DRAFTS?!?!

If the tone of this chapter is kinda different from the usual, I read a fanfic that made it that way. (I tend to subconsciously copy the tone and humor of the last fics I consumed, sorry.)

Thanks for all the reblogs, comments, and likes on these past chapters of mine, guys. They mean a lot to me and I'm so thankful for you all for them <3

Wretching open your front door for the second time, you hear the tell-tale signs of someone being smacked-dabbed in the face by the glorified piece of wood as you relish in the very satisfying groans of pain from your victim. (Sorry, It's your Lucifer–kinnie rearing its head.)

"Eh– Deuce? What the hell are you doing here??"

You asked, mildly concerned because Deuce has been nothing but nice to you and Yuu, unlike Ace the fuckin prick.

You don't even bother to ask if he was okay, you have eyes. So instead, you removed his hands that were covering his face and started to massage the area that the door hit, mumbling apologies.

Thankfully his nose didn't become crooked or bleed. That would've been unfortunate.

Deuce, bless his kind soul; Returned your apologies with his own for bothering you and your current housemates so early in the morning.

Haiyah, Ace should take notes, because this is how you're gonna be able to pull maidens and keep them.

• • • • • (Help my phone is lagging)

(So um, this was supposed to be longer but I don't why it suddenly uploaded itself and idk how to un upload it without deleting it)

You 'peacefully' smiled at Ace's annoyance as grim rightfully taunts him about his big-ass collar.

You and your gaggle of disappointments (except Yuu and Deuce) are on y'all's way to the mirror chamber right now so that the douchebag Ace can shove his big-ass ego down his own throat and actually apologize to his poor house warden.

Hmm.... Side note; you're feeling kinda extra petty today... You might just blackmail Crowley later again... Y'know.. just for the funsies... And also for some pocket money because y'all are broke.

*Que Yuu trying to hold back Ace from punting Grim across campus like a screeching football*

As you reach the mirror chamber you hum lightly, gesturing to Yuu to quickly straighten up their posture, patting off the non-existent dust and fixing small wrinkles in their clothes along the way.

Yesterday... The two of you had talked to each other in the privacy of your newly renovated 'dorm' before Ace showed up, discussing boundaries with each other and laying down ground rules, obligations that the two of you expect from each other. Grim just said whatever and tried to binge on your hard-earned canned foods. Safe to say, he almost became one himself.

Coming to compromises and both having an agreement to do whatever they can to support the other and vowing to tell necessary truths to each other as the two of you can only rely on eachother for now due to being entire worlds away from where you both came from.

You share a brief summary of your story (ommitting some... parts that aren't needed to be known) and Yuu shares their own, with you coming to the conclusion that you two do share the same world.

Events just line up too well to be said otherwise.

Though you actually confirmed this when Yuu talked about seeing a certain event on the news that you and the brothers ft. Diavolo and Barbs definitely didn't cause... yeah, DEFINITELY.

Should something important or big happen and the other isn't unavailable (i.e. dead or MIA), you two won't just make your own decisions without consulting or at least informing the other first.

You've... made a firm promise to yourself last night. To allow Yuu to thrive and form a foothold in this society with you as an unofficial apprentice/co-conspirator.

In a world of uncertainty, where a single wrong move can unknowingly compromise your safety, one will always come to desire some kind of power and control over their surroundings.... the people surrounding you, someone... anyone. And you're no different.

The need for a subconscious reassurance that even if everything is unfamiliar and potentially dangerous, you have power over someone else. That you're better than someone else. That should something happen, you won't be the first to be cut out or thrown into danger because you have more value than others will always be present in the back of your mind.

Of course you do know how to control yourself and your emotions, but the sins that the brothers embody kinda tend to emerge from inside you every once in a while.

...Though, maybe the reason you bonded so specifically well with your demons is that you actually have an intrinsic desire for power above all else. Not the kind of power where you're ruling over a kingdom or things like that but something else entirely.

Or, the evil inside just you began to slowly amplify the more time you spend with demons and that's why you're like this..

Either way, over the years, you've started to notice yourself becoming more... mature? in a sense?... your outlook in life slowly becoming more focused on how you can better yourself to ensure that your lovers didn't make a mistake in choosing to love you.

(You don't need to prove yourself to us, MC...)

The pride you've developed through your experiences and your constant connection with high profile individuals that drives you to constantly compare and contrast yourself to others reassure your deepest subconscious that you're still good enough, to reign in the insecurities brought in by how goddamn amazing your partners are.

Your greed to have more, to be more amazing than you already are, to leave behind other people in the dust of your brilliance.

Fearful envy for those people that aren't your friends who are smarter than you, more beautiful than you, more charismatic than you. Or the fear when you see someone making more progress than you. Afraid that they'll sooner be better than you and replace you somehow in the hearts of your lovers. (You still don't know where that fear came from though... Maybe from your other selves experiencing it? *cough* replaced au's *cough*)

Wrath when the desire to ruin whoever is overshadowing you starts to creep up from the dark crevices of your mind and begins to ensnare you.

Lust for more beauty, more elegance, to shine more brightly, to have more power and control over your own life.

Gluttony as you continue to desire more and more without feeling contentment.

And sloth because... you're just becoming too tired of the heavy duties and expectations thrust upon you by everyone around you intentionally or not... These past months, years wearing down on your fragile human soul.

You can't just do whatever you like anymore.. Your close relationship with the Brothers, Diavolo, Barbatos, Mephisto, as well as the angels, Thirteen, and Solomon caused the public consciousness to keep a heavy watch over you, the human that these very important individuals treasure very much.

Try as they might, your babes can't completely shield and protect you from the jealousy-filled rage of the toxic side of their own "fanbases". Not to mention those meddling mfs with even a small smidgen of power within the three realms keeps scrambling to mind your business as if it would somehow make themselves more important.

Of course, your significant others do their damn hardest to protect you from the public's scrutiny, that's for sure. (With Barbatos teaching you high-end etiquette to make sure you carry yourself with elegance to lessen things that could be used against you.) But.. it's unfortunately not enough.

Because you do often go outside to touch grass while still being quite active on the internet, whispers and gossips about you will inevitably reach your ears.

Whether it's you walking in RAD's halls and hearing hoes bad-mouthing you for your close relationships, your "unbecoming" attitude and "unflattering" qualifications, or you scrolling on the internet and seeing threads dissing you and calling you greedy for "taking all the good ones" with your "luke-warm" qualities.

Of course, you forwarded those threads and recounted those events to at least one of your significant others in the guise of light-hearted laughing about some trolls, knowing full well the exact consequences that you snitching on them will bring onto those poor unfortunate jealous gossipers. (Is it really snitching if they were the ones with the audacity to badmouth you? )

You can't find it in yourself to care though. Shouldn't have tried to intentionally talk behind your back WITHIN HEARING DISTANCE.

Fuck around and find out, as they say.

Just because they're jealous doesn't mean its your fault that all of the people you've managed to somehow seduce all happened to be extremely ethereal, intelligent, and are fuckin rich. YES. Even Mammon, contrary to what an ordinary person would expect from someone who's always out gambling or wasting money. (It's one of the mysteries of the universe, actually... How that guy can amass an impressive amount of wealth in a short amount of time whenever he gets really serious.)

So if they thought they can bully you into somehow, someway causing a rift into your relationships then they're dead wrong.

They're gonna be riggin their last mortis before you can even start to form any semblance of fucks to give to them.

Your inner thoughts really just kinda tend to go against you sometimes, but who doesn't have that problem?

{Th3 p\∆ñ $UcCe3d€D m∆d@M. tH4T... p3r$°n wi|| nö /OnG3r bE @ h!nDr4n©3 tO ¥°uR ₱/4nS..}

• • • • •

You snap back out of your trance as your body fluidly weaves to the side, jolting your mind awake as you dodge something small that was flying towards you.

'Oh.. It was just a small splatter of paint... Dang, I really need to chill.'

[Did... Did whatever that liquid thing was, just... burnt through the sidewalk right now...?

You subconsciously thought as you feel yourself being pulled into someone's —this scent.. Mammon?—  chest, arms simultaneously hugging you and shielding you from any further potential harm.

...Why? Why can you never get away from these things..? Why do you never know peace??

WhywhywhywhywhywHyWhYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYHWYHWYHWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHWYHYWHYWHYWHHWHYWHYWHYHWYHWYHWYHWY—?!?!?

. . .

Is it such a crime to want a peaceful life with those you love...?]

Hm... another ginger.. And with a healthy amount of zestiness too?

"oOoH! I'd recognize you famous freshies anywhere!"

(Thanks for screeching to the entire universe that there's someone else here Grim, we would've thought we were just hearing voices if it weren't for your super keen observation.)

Now, you'd think Mr. Fruity over there had just casted a haste spell on himself with how fast he went from on top of a ladder painting roses, to suddenly being beside you and squishing you all into a group picture but no, the power of tea and likes is just that powerful I guess...

(You'd know all about that, seeing Asmo breaking sound barriers the moment he catches a whiff of any kind of gossip will never be less horrifying yet amusing.)

Somehow, someway, you and the gang ended up being enlisted to paint roses, after the upperclassman who's apparently named Cater uploaded your group photo and tagged you all.

(Yuu has a phone is this au because of the power of ✨Extortion✨ [Crowley's the one being extorted dw])

You shook your head to get rid of your momentary brain fog and sighed.

So there you are, standing still as you watch your ragtag gang try and fail at the task that was asked of them to do.

'These guys are quite incompetent with this painting the roses thing.' You thought as you watched Deuce turn roses blue, Grim setting fire to entire rose bushes, with Ace and Yuu splattering paint within a ten meter radius of themselves either intentionally or due to inexperience.

Cater meanwhile wants to urge for your help in painting the roses as well –losing hope for the other freshmen– but backing out because of your thousand-yard stare and patented resting bitch face.

• • • •

"Haaaa, this is getting ridiculous"

You deadpanned as Cater "escorted" you all out because Ace didn't have a replacement tart in the ready. (Ignoring Ace who was actually rightfully complaining this time, your group excluding you, had wasted time botching rose painting attempts when you could've left earlier or gone to the store if Cater had just told you all that a replacement tart was needed in the first place.)

You deadpanned even harder when the bell rang and they all started scrambling to get to class.

You feel like a disappointed mother right now.

Grabbing Yuu, you quickly teleported the two of you to a secluded corner near the entrance of your classroom, making sure that no one saw the two of you spawn out of nowhere.

Steadying Yuu as they stumbled from the sudden change in scenery, you quickly dragged them inside and seated them beside you in [chosen spot here] before texting a quick middle-finger emoji to y'all's newly made "Losing hope for humanity" group chat with the one braincell duo, grim, and your unofficial apprentice – Yuu

You're not that cruel though, you reserved seats for them beside Yuu so that they can hear you laugh at them when they finally arrived from their impromptu marathon and took their seats.

. . .

'I hate my life.'

You thought, as you and your... friends?walk to y'all's next class.

Honestly, you didn't want to attend these classes because you could've been doing something more productive (like drinking through Crowley's wine stash that you found) but you still want to know about the lessons the students of this oh-so-prestigious college are taking. Maybe you'll come across information that can be vital to your return home or something.

This continued on until Grim decided to try his luck with escaping the lessons, causing you to put your foot down because poor Yuu can get implicated if Grim isn't in class, making the feline choose between studying in peace or resting in peace.

(Sorry Catan, this feline is really pissing me tf off right now.)

• • • • • •

"Ugh, really can't believe you left us like that."

Ace whined, picking out food beside you, Deuce, and Yuu in the cafeteria.

"Again, not my fault Yuu was the only one I could grab back then. This is the fifth time already, Ace." You said, ignoring the teen's ugly huffing.

"You totally could've included us if you made the effort!!" Huffed out Grim as he DEFINITELY didn't pout at you.

"Says the one who tried to ditch their window cleaning punishment." Yuu piped in.

"Ugh, not you too, henchman!"

"Yeah, bold of you to say anything about effort when you have to be dragged to classes." Ace said with a shit-eating grin.

"I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANYTHING FROM YOU, YOU UGL—!!"

You zone out the rest of their bickering, focussing instead into getting some [fav. food] because you're gonna punch someone if you let your hunger ferment any further.

But of course, the universe hates you. Nothing else could explain  why you need to suffer seeing some high school bullies that are trying to boast of their "authority" as seniors by throwing a tantrum over a fuckin egg yolk.

You lament, quietly standing slightly behind Ace, Deuce, and Yuu as you watch Grim defend his chicken with all his kitty cat glory.

They're targeting the rest of you guys too... Haaaaah, you can't get a break with these people.

(Belphegor twitched, he's not quite feeling full-on Sloth but instead, some kind of fatigue? that starts to weigh down on him.

He rushes to Lucifer's office to report the vague feeling that he knows, originated from you.)

MmmM... Haaaaaah. You're too emotionally drained from all the convoluted unfamiliar lessons that were shoved into your face today to even muster the want for a confrontation right now.

You pinch the bridge of your nose, feeling a dull headache settling into the back of your head.

This needs to stop, lest these bumbling idiots in front of you piss you off even further. (One of them grabbed Deuce's collar you observed, yelling at him for saying something about not using magic while the other is getting closer to Yuu, being the one who took Grim into their arms.)

You open your mouth; "Can the both of you get the hell out of the way, your big-ass foreheads are taking up the entire cafeteria."

Your clear, nonchalant but loud voice rang out, causing some silence from those that heard you.

And like a charm, ignoring any bangs that may have covered it, the two accidents subconsciously covered their foreheads with a dumbfounded "huh?" caught off guard with your sudden insult.

Not even bothering to grace them with a reply, you snap your fingers, golden rope manifested around the legs of those pathetic seniors, quickly tightening to incapacitate them and shooting up to the ceiling to tie itself to the newly remade chandelier with those seniors hanging upside down from it. 

That golden rope will prevent them from both trying to swing free and rocking the chandelier in any way, shape, or form, as a precaution to make sure that there won't be a repeat of the falling chandelier fiasco.

Ignoring the gawking of the entire cafeteria, you gesture to your group to hurry tf up and go to a table with you while you massage your temple.

'Hahhhh, I can feel myself aging.' You thought.

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