[ It's A Gift (you Keep Those) ]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ it's a gift (you keep those) ]❜

ft. logan howlett x f! reader — deadpool & wolverine

╰₊✧ giving him a plushie that reminded you of him┊1k words

contains: fluff, crushes, probably ooc but he’s so cute & wade is hard to write for, written for dp&w logan so idk if he got gifts in xmen, i forgot about laura, they are in touch and have a wonderful father-daughter relationship, i’m so sorry, edited

➤ author's note: i have so many thoughts but too incompetent to write

logan’s never sure who will appear when he opens the door as wade’s quite the extrovert, either vanessa or one of his many other friends whom he’s now become somewhat acquainted with, but he certainly wasn’t expecting to meet the familiar eyes of the cute neighbor who lived a few doors down. he nervously scratched the back of his head, suddenly becoming aware of his shabby appearance, “uh, are you looking for wade?”

“no, i was actually looking for you!” god, your smile is so bright, it’s blinding. he normally hates perfume of any sort as it’s so overpowering to his heightened senses, but the one that you wore smelled so lovely like always. is that a new shade of lip gloss you’re wearing? it really suits you. (why on earth is he noticing all of these details out of the blue? he needs to snap out of whatever spell you put on him after being introduced when he first showed up and only interacting in passing since then).

“looking for me?” he repeated, in disbelief, trying his best not to allow his surprise to slip into his voice. considering he isn’t from this dimension and not the most agreeable person to be around, he had no friends of his own yet and hasn’t been visited by anyone since he got here. a beat of panic struck him, thinking that he was in trouble for something and you came to complain. he really couldn’t think of any other reason you were here for him even though you were so cheerful.

you were carrying some shopping bags with you, dropping them on the ground before reaching into one and pulling out a large fuzzy plushie of a gray cat hidden under layers of glittery tissue paper, “i saw this cutie when i went shopping with my friends and thought it looked like you!” you held it out for him to take, looking so proud of the stuffed animal.

he hesitated for a second before accepting it, trying to take in the fact that you were reminded of him in your day-to-day life. it made his heart flutter, and he found himself dumbfounded by the feeling. he was frequently teased by his roomate about his little “crush” on you, claiming that it was oh so obvious and that the sooner he accepted it, the better, but he never realized until now how pathetic he was when it came to you. was the wolverine really getting butterflies like a fucking schoolgirl in his old-ass age? thank god no one was home right now to bully him about it, he would never hear the end of it.

“it does not look like me,” he scoffed playfully after a quick examination.

“no, it definitely does! it’s a big, grumpy kitty—” you took a set closer to hold it with him, pointing at all the similarities you observed, although it was clear you were exaggerating for laughs. “see the little frowny face and ears? it could be your identical twin separated from birth! willy mentioned that you act like a cat most of the time, and i think it fits perfectly!”

the smile he didn’t realize was plastered on his face faltered at the last piece of information, grateful that you didn’t notice. that idiot has been talking about him to you? he might as well forget about any chance of getting with you, because knowing how he yaps without a filter and loves to play matchmaker, you probably think he’s a freak of some sort. “only good things, i hope…”

you giggled, the sweetest sound he ever heard. “of course, he’s really fond of you… well, maybe a bit too fond, but you already know about that!” you opened your mouth to continue the conversation or say something else, but your phone started ringing and you excused yourself, looking a little shy as you grabbed up your bags. “i’ll talk to you later!” you sounded so excited about the prospect of it before leaving, your voice and footsteps becoming fainter as you walked back to your place.

“wait, you didn’t take back the cat—”

“it’s a gift! you keep those!”

“oh… right…”

he lingered for a moment, unable to say much in response since you left in such a rush. when was the last time someone gave him a present? staring at this brand new item, he still couldn’t see the resemblance in any way, but knowing that it was a gift from you gave him a rare feeling of happiness which returned every time he looked at it from then on among his few possessions. 

“oh my goodness, what is this adorable thing?!” wade exclaimed when he saw it sitting on the couch where logan slept, picking it up to gawk at before tossing it up in the air and catching it before it hit the floor. “ooh, let me guess, it’s a gift from her, isn’t it?” 

the mutant groaned at his mocking tone. “put it down before you ruin it with your grubby hands,” he commanded, snatching it from his grasp (rough enough to make his point clear, but carefully enough not to tear it apart). his roommate didn’t even bother pretending to be offended like he usually would as he was simply overjoyed that his “ship” was coming true. “it doesn’t mean anything, don’t make it weird.”

“it doesn’t mean anything?! how can you say that when it’s going to be the first gift you give to your first child together—”

“first what??”

“nevermind, what are you gonna name it?”

“i have to name it?”

“have you never owned a stuffed animal before? you have to name it! how heartbroken is she going to be when she asks what you named it and you say that you haven’t done that?! she’s gonna think that you don’t value her gifts!” you would think the world was going to end if he didn’t do so if you heard the way he was speaking.

“fine, i’ll name it…” he looked deeply into the toy’s soulless eyes, noting how soft the outer material was against his calloused hand, “... fluffy…”

“that’s such a shitty name—”

“shut the fuck up, it’s been decided.”

Being pregnant with Wolverine/Logan's child would include...

Initial reaction - He would be terrified and it would take a bit of time to come to terms with it. It is an accidental pregnancy, so neither of you were planning on it. He didn't even know if you could get pregnant. But when he does come round, he would be still scared but excited.

Protective - Logan would be extremely protective, to the point that you would have to argue with him just to leave home. He's scared that someone will harm or kidnap you so even when you do go out, he is always with you.

Missions - He would put a hold on all missions, unless, some of the other x-men help out and keep an eye on you. Even then though, he would only go on short missions.

Affection - Logan is incredibly affectionate, constantly touching you, whether that be a hand on your back or round your shoulder. He just likes to know that you're there with him, and you like knowing how much he cares.

Talking - He would talk to your belly all the time. Just had dinner? He'd tell the baby. Watched a good movie? The baby gets a review. You'd act like it would annoy you, but really it would make you really happy.

Note: that gif doing something to me

GIRLLL U DID!!! thank you so much for writing much needed girl dad logan content🙇‍♀️💖 thank you also for adding me to the taglist, take ur time to cook girly pop!!

Logan x Reader pt.7

Not this chapter distracting me at work

I hope you can't tell that I'm really not American in this 🤣

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

“James Logan Howlett!” 

Shit. 

He jumped up from lazing on the bed - he'd need to buy a new mattress due to claw marks, you'd both got pretty carried away - and peaked his head into the bathroom. 

You were standing there, gloriously naked, staring at your reflection in the mirror. If there was a god he thanked them. You had to have been handcrafted. 

“Baby?” 

Your eyes met his through the mirror and you gestured to your neck. “What is this?!” 

He wanted to sass you by explaining what a neck was and that it held your esophagus but he didn't. His urge to claim you might've been dialled too high. Your neck and chest were marred with darker splotches, a reverse vitiligo. “I didn't hear you complaining at the time.” 

You humphed and prodded the marks. “I don't own enough clothes to hide these.” 

“You can wear mine.” He was sure there was a hoodie somewhere in his closet you could use.

“Lo, this is like hardcore shit.” You tried to reason with him. “They're gonna think you abuse me.” 

“Sorry.” He offered, really not sorry at all. Logan took a step into the bathroom and settled himself behind you, hands grazing your hips.

You huffed a laugh and rolled your eyes, head falling back onto his chest. “No you're not.” 

“No, I'm not.” He pecked your head. 

“Keep your lips away.” Swatting at him as you pulled back. 

Logan laughed at you but let you slip out of his grasp. You swivelled and leaned against the counter, folding your arms. “Very intimidating.” 

“Fuck off.” Eyes squinting. “But-” You sighed. “I may have to venture out and actually purchase some clothes. Hopefully I don't go crazy again.” You extenuated that with wavy hands and a funny voice.

Logan's eyes softened. “You're not crazy.” 

You shrugged, casually. “Eh, maybe a little.” 

He fixed a piece of hair that was more wild than the others and let his hand fall to your shoulder. His thumb rubbed a little circle. “We'll go together.” 

“Okay.” You smirked up to him, clasping his forearm. In a not so subtle move, you pulled his hand to your neck. “Maybe in a couple hours?” 

Logan's palm nestled on your neck, squeezing lightly. “I thought you were worried they'd assume I abuse you.” 

You mock-thought and then answered with, “You're allowed to abuse certain parts of me.” 

The twinkle in his eye and twitch of his jaw went straight to your core. Logan flexed his fingers then resettled them and pulled you in for a kiss. 

He made quick work of plucking you up from the floor and nestling you on the counter top. Your hands explored his chest, pulling at the hair. Logan purred into the kiss as your hands trailed down to his half hard dick. 

“Hmm,” You panted, “I want that in my mouth.”

Logan’s smile could be felt against your cheek as he nibbled at your earlobe. “Maybe later.” 

You humphed biting him back. Logan's whole body shuddered as you sucked his neck. Lapping up the bruised flesh before biting down again. 

He was quick to raise your legs, pushing your knees to your shoulders, and laid you onto your spine. The counter was cold and thankfully the side you were pretzeled on was bare of necessities. 

Logan had been fucking you all night, you didn't need to be 'wined and dined' before he fucked you but he still played with your folds. Teasing you by tracing a line from your clit to your entrance, he played with your slick and slid back upwards to the bud. He noted the marks on your thighs as he watched your hole clench around nothing, your chest rising and falling with every hitch. 

He loved watching your neck extend as you threw your head back, he could see his marks, see who owned you. Who fucked you right. Who kept you safe. He could - had - watch you in the throes of pleasure all night, he loved working you up. Having you spasm under him, shaking until you begged for more. 

You'd mumbled the words ‘fuck me’ a few times but they hadn't registered, he'd been too preoccupied with watching your pussy gush. It was so wet it practically dripped onto the countertop. 

“Lo-gan.” You whimpered. “Logan fuck me. Fill me. Use me. Just st-stop teasing me.” 

The position he had you in wasn't the comfiest but when he rubbed his dick between your folds you were too blissed out to care. He thrust into you and immediately bottomed out. 

“How are you still so tight?” His tongue caught between his teeth in a smirk. 

You groaned out a response but neither knew what it was. 

He was slow with his thrusts, drawing out your pleasure as one of his hands wrapped around your leg and began playing with your clit. 

His slow motion meant you felt everything, every ridge, every vibration, every circle of your clit, every hitch of his breath. Everything. And he loved giving you it all. Your brows were pulled upwards, eyes crossing and your mouth was hanging open in a silent moan. It was so good it silenced you. 

He noticed the slick he had used on your clit was drying so he angled himself and slowly spat onto it. And fuck me that was hot. 

He swirled his spit coated thumb and you felt your body convulse with the biggest orgasm of the night. 

You clamped down so hard he couldn't move, your hands flung to clutch his biceps and you stuttered out a moan. 

Logan smiled genuinely at your blissed out face and almost forgot he was inside of you. Once your pussy had released his dick he picked up the pace. He pounded into you with abandon, his thumb vibrating against your clit. You shook your head, still unable to form a sentence, and tried to get him to stop. It was too much. Too good. You were so overstimulated. 

“I can't-” The words were mushed into one singular noise.

“Yes, you can.” He itched to bite you, his jaw clamped to hold himself back. 

“Too much.” 

“No it's not.” 

“P-ple-” You cut yourself off with a yelp. Your body cumming again. 

“There we go baby.” He kissed your crown, finally releasing your bud.

Your brain completely short circuited and when you returned to your body you were nestled in bed, still panting. 

“Lo?” Your eyes scanned the empty room. 

He wasn't here. Where did he go? You should probably check but you physically couldn't move. 

You closed your eyes and sighed into the pillow. He'd come back and if this was fake - if you were still in the Void - you were okay with it. Cassandra might be the one fucking you but god it was good. 

“Baby?” Logan's voice made your eyes open, they were heavy but you forced them. “Drink this.” 

You frowned at the offered glass but did open your mouth. He tipped the water and watched you swallow, a droplet sliding passed your lips. He pulled back and placed the glass on your bedside table, wiping your chin with his thumb.

This was the Logan you remembered. Your Logan’s love language was acts of service. He’d help with taking your makeup off, carrying you to bed when you fell asleep on the sofa, saving you a plate and forcing you to eat properly, making you little whittled figures of birds for your desk. 

You missed him. You really did. 

“I ‘ove you.” You mumbled into the pillow. You did. You know he's not your Logan but he is your Logan. 

“I love you, too.” He spoke from behind you, his arm wrapping around your stomach as he kissed your cheek. 

~~

Clothes shopping was okay. It wasn't quite as intense as food shopping because despite there being just as much - maybe more - choice, you could immediately see what you liked and what you didn't. 

You'd brought a whole wardrobes worth of  clothes. Picked up a couple of oversized shirts - one with the scooby gang on - and a few ‘cycling’ shorts. There were a few pairs of jeans in your basket and some vest tops with Hawaiian-style shirts and co-ord sets - You only picked these up because the mannequins pulled them off, you had no sense of style after all these years - you'd grabbed two nighties and one pj set as well as underwear. 

Logan was happy to watch your little fashion shows in the dressing room. You, Laura and El had awkwardly displayed each outfit - you refusing to remove the scarf he had let you borrow - to him nodding or wide-eyed nodding. The latter meant he didn't like it but was supporting. 

"Is this nice enough for Wade's party?" You exited the changing room, fighting with the curtain and deciding to leave it closed.

You were wearing a simple, lilac dress. There were no patterns, no frills, nothing but a comfortable fabric.

Logan whistled lowly. "You look beautiful."

El stopped complaining about women's sizings being different depending on the store and popped her head out of her curtain. "Oh, you do!"

You thanked the two and retreated back into the curtain.

"Wait come out again." Laura's voice stopped you from pulling the fabric over your head.

You replaced the dress and stepped out again.

Laura was standing in black shorts that met her thighs and a Metallica shirt. She observed your outfit, her eyes scanning your body, and nodded. "I was going to wear this but you look nicer. Lighter colours."

"There is no dress code. Just wear what makes you feel good."

She considered. "I like the dress. The colour is nice against your skin and hair."

El picked up jeans and some ‘gym-wear’ as she had discovered one down the road and was now a full time member. She, and the others, seemed remarkably well adjusted. In fact, you know Blade had gone on a hunt! A real-life Vampire hunt. 

Gambit had discovered the Playstation and was enjoying his time with Wade playing online. 

Laura had taken up art, she'd drew with you in the Void and her attempts were better than yours but now she was really starting to show potential. 

“She has colours on her fingers.” Laura commented about the cashier; a young woman with piercings and dyed hair. 

“That's called nail varnish.” You supplied, swiping your card. 

The lady glanced between you two but didn't comment, instead telling you she had them done at the shop on the upper level in the mall. ‘Kole’s Nails’.

You thanked her for your items and the information, leaving to meet Logan and El. 

“I am starving.” Elektra told the group. 

“I guess we’re heading to the food hall?” You raised a brow and the group all agreed. The four of you headed west, staying on the ground floor, and found yourselves at the food hall. 

There was ‘McDonalds’ - burgers - ‘KFC’ - chicken - ‘Burger King' - more burgers - ‘Eds Diner' - hotdogs - ‘Chipotle’ - burritos - ‘Five Guys’ - even more burgers - ‘Panda Express’ - Chinese food. 

“We can go further in, find a restaurant.” Logan suggested. 

“I'm alright here.” You shrugged, plonking your bags down on a table. “Right here to be precise.” 

He shook his head. “What do you want? I'll get it while you wait with your bags.” 

“Oh.” You scanned the options again. “Just a burger.” 

“From where?” 

“Any of them. Just a cheeseburger meal, fries, a coke?” 

He could see you were becoming a little overwhelmed so gave you a big smile and nod. “One burger meal coming up, Laura, are you staying with Y/N?”

She glanced at you. “I can.” 

“Guys, I'm fine, go and get your food. Leave all your stuff here. I'm going to be really social and be on my phone the whole time you're away.” 

It took another ‘go’ for Logan to leave but he did and you made good on your promise. Your phone entertained you as you waited. 

Wade had taught you what mobile data was. It was internet but everywhere. 

You opened Instagram - which was basically Facebook but the younger kids used it - and scrolled mindlessly through before closing it and pulling Facebook up.

You had been fighting with yourself for a while. 

Did you search for your mother? Was that allowed? Would the illuminati know? 

You typed and deleted her name twice before pressing search. 

There were a few other people with her name but you scrolled down and found her, she was the seventh person. 

Her profile picture was her smiling with a man, you assumed her partner, and her cover picture was a pink building. It had a sign on i-it was a bakery. 

There was a linked page revealing that she owned the bakery. Your mother owned a bakery? 

Yeah, she dabbled and more often than once you had a cake to take into school but once your mutation started revealing itself you didn't see her bake. She worried more. She was stressed. She only seemed relieved when you were sent to Xavier's. 

Your mom wasn't prejudiced. She loved you despite the mutation but she was terrified. You could be attacked or sold or worse. 

To see her with this man and this job was surreal.

She had a good life. 

One free of issues. 

One free of you. 

“One burger meal, madam!” Logan set the tray in front of you and you quickly locked the phone, tucking it away.

“Thank you, sir.” You mocked his voice and stole a fry. 

Elektra and Laura were still waiting to collect their food at Chipotle as you and Logan munched. 

“You alright?” He asked, not looking at you. 

You stopped mid fry. “Yeah…? You?” 

His eyes flickered to your face, picking up his drink. “How you feeling about tomorrow?” He sucked the straw. 

Ah. Tomorrow. Therapy. Your scheduled therapy session. It was crazy to think you'd already been in this universe a week and a half but the majority of that was you recovering in Logan's bed.

“I think it'll be okay.” You said diplomatically causing him to quirked a brow so you added, “everyone else seems more adjusted than me.” 

“Don't be worried. You’re coping well.” He vowed. 

Letting that sink in you took a sip of your drink. "Do we need to look around the mall for a mattress store?"

"No, I ordered one online." You indicated for him to continue by making a face. "It isn't the first time I've destroyed a mattress." Your mind went to hot steamy sex and he could clearly see it in your eyes. "Less fucking, more PTSD."

Your cheeks were warm and, thankfully, you didn't have to respond because the girls returned. El placed the bag on the table and ripped it to reveal two burritos. 

She ripped the foil and sniffed. “It's been so long since I've had one.” You laughed at her, watching as she chomped. “Oh m-god, it's beautiful.” She spoke with a mouth full.

Laura watched the display and copied El’s movements, less dramatically, nodding in approval as she chewed. 

“What have you got?” You questioned. 

Laura quickly swallowed, listing the ingredients. “Chicken, coriander rice, pinto beans, cheese, guacamole. There's salad too. 

Your eyes flicked to Elektra. “Beef, tomato rice, salsa, guac.” 

The four of you ate and finished your food, sitting and chatting idly. There was nothing important or life threatening so you could. You didn't think you'd ever get over that, how you could do things because you wanted to now. 

It was easy living. 

“I think we're all done, right?” Elektra counted the shopping bags. 

“Yeah.” But then you recalled. “Oh, Laura and I were going to check our Koles nails.” 

Logan's brows rose as he collected the rubbish. “Koles nails?” 

“The lady had colours on her fingers.” Laura explained.

El glanced at her hands, she kept her nails neat and tidy. Fresh water was rare in the Void and now she had access she went overboard on cleanliness. “I wouldn't mind getting my nails done.”

So it was decided and you all meandered up to the upper level, consorting the map and finding Koles Nails. 

It was a small shop but had more than enough chairs. 

The noises and smells were intense but you pushed through. “Any space for three?” 

The man at the desk flicked through a book and then - in a language you didn't understand - called over his shoulder. Once he had a response he agreed. “Plenty space.”

He handed over a plastic box full of circles of nails, each of which had different shades of one colour. 

El pointed at a few reds and Laura nodded, showing the black glitters. You handed a few discs to Logan, telling him to pick a colour. You didn't have any preferences, anything would do, in fact you didn't really care for nail polish, only here for Laura's sake. 

“First person.” The man gestured behind his shoulder at the empty chair. 

Laura subtly shook her head. 

“I'll go.” Elektra spared her.  

El placed her bags by the waiting chair, then weaved her way through and sitting down.

“It's okay.” You encouraged Laura. 

“It's loud.” She placed the disc into the storage box. “What are they doing?” She tiptoed to see the closest nail tech using a Dremel to file. 

“They file the nail down.” You explain. “It doesn't hurt.” 

Maybe this wasn't the best move. What if they hurt her by mistake and her claws come out? 

“Purple.” Logan finally decided, it was a bit of a cop out because purple was your super suit colour but the shade he picked was pastel. It was very subtle almost nude. “I'm not even sure they can file her nails.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“The healing factor.” He dropped the discs into the box. 

That was something to consider. 

“Next person.”

Laura was still indecisive so you went next. You placed your bags next to El’s and worked your way through, the ammonia hitting you in the face as you walked further in.

El was sitting two spaces from you. The couple in between were cute, one girl was finished and waiting for the other. Both of them had very adventurous nails in length and colour. One was navy and lime green and the other was pink with little chains. The chains were setting under the UV light. 

You smiled politely at your nail tech and, after a brief glance, asked for ‘coffin’ shape. The lady nodded and began her work, cutting and filing your nails. 

The lady - Liu - was very professional and asked you casual questions as she went. 

“Hey, bub.” Logan sat down next to you, in the now empty chair, the women had left hand in hand and giggling. Laura sat next to him. 

You were confused, “Hi, love.” 

“The only way Laura’d get her nails done.” He heaved a sigh but his eyes were soft.

“Oh.” You chuckled. “What colour are you going for?” 

“She picked yellow and blue.” He shrugged. “My colours.” 

You smirked. “Good job Laura!” 

The girl shyly smiled as she presented her hands

~~

Wade was furious.

You don't think he's ever been this angry.

“Are you fuck knuckles serious?” He yelled. It was a little funny because he was wearing Hello Kitty pjs whilst fully screaming at you.

“Calm down.” Elektra ordered using her ‘mom voice’.

Behind Wade you could see the front door open and Blade slide in, the commotion drawing his attention.

The ‘mom voice’ worked because Wade’s voice was lower but the anger was still behind his eyes. “I cannot believe you four would betray me like this.”

“C’mon.” You tried. “It was a spur of the moment thing. We didn't plan it.”

“Somehow that makes it worse.”

All this was happening because Laura excitedly showed Wade a photo of the group's nails. She had everyone put one hand - Logan had to put both - doing a ‘peace’ sign to create a star. The picture was very creative and showed off your nails.

“Will you calm the fuck down?” Logan spat. “It was a good day out and your bitching and whining is gonna ruin it.”

“Says the almighty wolverine.” Wade flailed his arms. “You aren't the one with crusty dusty nails.”

“This is why no one likes talking with you.” Logan's voice was low but you still heard. “You overreact.”

“People love talking with me.” Wade argued. “I was on the phone with a telemarketer for two hours earlier!” Logan huffed. "Well, Lo' remember this little family of yours only exists because of me. Because of my movies doing well. Yours were alright but you were dead. I brought you back. I'm the reason your life is bearable."

You had placed a hand on Logan's arm as a precaution. Slightly, pulling him as you stepped a fraction forward. “Look, Wade, I am very sorry that we didn't realise this would hurt your feelings. Rest assured, next time you will be called and you better be present.”

It was hard to tell because of the scarring but you're sure he flexed his jaw in deliberation. It didn't take much time before he relented with an “Okay.”

“And you don't overreact that much.” You winked. “I swear Spidey loved it. Maybe you should find him in this universe.”

Wade's eyes left you briefly to glance at his fuzzy slippers. “I'll frequent more rooftops.”

~~

The therapist was a middle aged black man. He was from Ghana and had moved to New York when he was twenty. He was sweet enough, with a kind face and cheeky smile.

His name was Dave.

He was easy to talk to.

Easier than you imagined.

“So, how have you been adjusting?”

You were standing by the window. He'd offered a seat but you were too nervous to be still. “I think okay.” A father pushed his child's stroller, your eyes followed them until they were out of sight. Dave hadn't said anything else. The room was quiet. “I had a... wobble.” You filled the silence.

“A wobble?” His eyes flickered from the notebook as you turned to face him, perching on the lip of the wall.

“Yeah.” You shrugged. “I dunno what else to call it. Loga-Wolverine said it was a panic attack. I'm not saying he's wrong but is he right?”

“What happened?”

The room was very brown, reminding you of the TVA, it definitely hadn't been redecorated since the eighties. “I was shopping and it was a lot. Noises, smells, sights.” You tucked your hands into your jean pockets. “It was just too much, I found a corner and hunched over.” By the end of the sentence you realised how serious it was. “It's lucky I didn't create any forcefields. Imagine that? Me stuck without help because I'm forcing them away.”

He made a note and then asked, “Do you often push people away?”

Well, fuck me Dave. That was an accusation. “Uh, I don't know. I don't think so?” You didn't. In the Void you accepted anyone with open arms, most of the time to your detriment.

“Hmm.”

“What's 'hmm' mean?” You spoke casually, wanting to play it cool despite the intense need to know what he was thinking. What he was writing about you.

Dave sighed and scratched his chin. “I think you close yourself off.”

“Do I?”

“I think you aren't ready to accept that you are here. In this reality.” He turned his head to the side, pondering his next words. “I think you believe this is too good to be true. That this isn't real. That you have to keep that wall up in case. So the disappointment isn't as bad.”

Shit.

You'd met the fella less than thirty minutes ago and he had you pinned.

“I guess I am worried.” Your fingers strum along your thighs as he made eye contact. “But I'd rather prepare for disappointment and it not happen, than not and it does.”

“But if you do that, in both scenarios, you are disappointed. Either by your own mind or circumstance.”

He wasn't incorrect. But he hadn't lived the life you had. “Your world is different from mine.” You spoke after a few beats.

“I know your time in the Voi-”

“No. Your world.” You gestured all around you. “Mine was colder. Harsher. Mutants were lesser beings, we were beaten in the streets, used as slaves, sold. Mocked. W-we weren't even second class citizens, we were third or fourth. I was lucky enough to have a place at Xavier's institute. Lucky enough to be an X-Man. To fight for what's right. Jean-my friend was consumed by darkness and then the TVA came and I was flung into the Void. I've been fighting all my life, so if being disappointed is the worst this universe can give me. That's fucking brilliant.”

Dave was quiet except for the scribbling of his pen. Clearly hadn't been briefed on your world. TVA, tick. The Void, tick. Being an X-Man, half tick. Being a Mutant, tick. Being a Mutant in your world, nope.

“There is a lot that we will have to work through.”

“Yeah.” You had assumed he'd say something along those lines.

He finally put the pen down again and completely changed the subject. “Let’s talk about your mother.”

“My mother?”

“You've been researching her.” He informed.

Fucking Illuminati. “I was curious, sue me.”

He was slow as he did it but took a sip from his teacup. “How did it make you feel once you found her?”

You didn't really feel anything. Well, you had but you didn't now. How did you feel? “She has a bakery.”

“Did she have a bakery in your world?”

You scoffed. “No, she had debt and stress and a freak child.”

He hummed, swirling the contents of the cup. You'd been offered tea as well as your seat but refused both. “Were you jealous?”

“Jealous?”

“She has made something that isn't you. Did you feel jealous?”

Did you? No, not really. It's just something that happened. Just what your mother had done with her life. “I don't think so. Confused is more the word I'd say.”

“Did you see any children?” He took a final sip.

“No, she has a partner, though. They seem happy.”

Dave put the cup down and licked his lips, tongue just brushing his moustache. “She didn't have you which had led her to a thriving business and a loving relationship.”

Lay it on thick. “Well, I didn't say thriving.”

“You use humour to cover your emotions.” He commented before once again staying silent. Giving you the floor. It was your turn to defend yourself. Your turn to answer him.

You considered your options. Fight the therapist and get put in whatever prison the illuminati owned or just go with it for a couple months. You'd been honest pretty much the entire time anyway.

“I suppose it hurts? It's a little sore knowing that maybe she could've been happy in my world. If she didn't have me.”

“Why worry about things that could be?”

“We established that I like disappointment.”

“Yes. You do.” He said it so matter of factly that it took you aback. “It's been a companion all your life and you are loath to be rid of it. It's a safety net.” He elaborated.

“Right.”

Were therapists meant to goad you like this? Didn't they just sit and let you talk? Was this some sort of special treatment? Was he trained to break you down? Make you feel like shit just to see if you'd break?

“You do seem fairly well adjusted.” He allowed. “There's a few topics I would like to circle back on. We will tackle them.”

“Okay.” You agreed. Was that it? “Are we finished?”

“You have five minutes left, the majority of our session was spent in silence. The window drew your attention more than I.”

“Sorry.” You hadn't realised that, that was rude. So much for first impressions. “Thank you. I'll see you next month?”

“No, I'd like to do weekly sessions with you.” He heaved himself up, plodding over to a set of wooden drawers. He plucked his planner and scanned the days. “How are Thursdays? I can do 12 or 2.30.”

You refrained from making a dentist joke. “12 sounds alright.”

“See you next week.”

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