Where Did You Go?

Where did you go?

Why did you take my simple heart?

VI IS NOSTALGIC OVER HER PAST RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.

ship : Vi x Fem! reader. Reader is non-descriptive, but mostly uses she/her pronouns.

genre : fluff. slight angst, but mainly just Vi being sad. From Vi's perspective!

synopsis : Violet never loved anyone besides the girl she met freshman year. The girl she dated the whole of university. The girl who left with her heart. Based off the song Angelina by Lizzy McAlpine. I am obsessed with it.

warnings : Angst. Violet does not express any emotional vulnerability. Reader is smart.

authors note : First try, please give me some feedback xx. I really tried to keep reader's looks outta question because I know some people express feeling unable to see themselves in fics when the reader is described as blushing or such! I'm always open to tips and idea!

The somber voice which held in the air echoed throughout Violet’s head, her eyes shifting over the people walking past as if evaluating for any resemblance of you in them. She found none.

It was evident to anyone that the past year had been rough on the girl, her back hunched as she narrowed her eyes with grimace at anyone who dared study her. She hated the thought of being known, of knowing. She couldn't move on, not when that night was still so clear in her head.

It was freshman year in college, somewhere between taking classes and trying not to fail exams Violet found herself at a loud party. Her hands moved to the bridge of her nose, the early signs of a headache cloud her eyes. She knew this was a bad idea, but she came still- no one to blame but herself. She didn’t even come to make friends because she knew her appearance was too intimidating; instead she focused on the way the bass rocked the floor and how people moved around the large area sloppily as the night continued.

It was way past midnight when she found her way onto the patio, leaning against the deep colored wood as she took a deep breath trying not to take notice of the deafening music being pushed through the house's thin doors.

She let out a small sigh, tucking her head into her chest. “The music’s shit.” She heard the voice before she even saw the face, it was coated in alcohol and calmness making Violet shoot her head towards the sound.

It wasn’t even special at the time, you sitting on the small patio chair as her eyes adjusted to your face, but that moment warped her life forever.

It wasn’t that you two were in love, it was that she was enamored. If it was how easily you carried yourself, or how you seemed to say the perfect things whenever she needed it. Slowly, her mind was consumed by you- even as she continued to mess around with other girls she always found some way to relate each person to you.

If it was your laughter, or how you stitched your eyebrows together when working, or even the clothes you found comfort in wearing. She knew you only saw her as a friend, but her mind couldn’t help but run. The way your fingers would linger over hers, or the way you would always help every bug you stumbled upon; gushing about how they weren’t as scary as we probably were to them. You were kind, and consistent- she knew that when she walked through the double door of that same party house she could easily find you hidden in the garden staring at the stars.

As Vi turned the corner, she studied the cafe before pulling out the first chair she found. The table was small and held only an ashtray and a dying rosemary plant. As quickly as she had sat down in the woven chair, a server came over handing a menu before Vi ushered her that she would only have a water for now; her mind was too full of nostalgia to read the words alongside deciding what drink she would want.

“Why do you always come to these things?” Your voice broke the muffled silence, “All you ever do is sit here with me.” It was mid autumn, and the party season had yet to peak again as the second year of college rang in. Vi’s hand’s flexed against the patio’s chair where the ingrained motions of picking had already begun to show signaling how many times this exact situation had repeated throughout the last year.

Autumn wasn’t always sweet to Vi, with the sudden gust of chill and the way the temperatures could change so drastically; she had spent everyday throughout the week waiting to see you on that Saturday night, to talk to you, to look at you. “I don’t know,” Vi shook her head, her eyes flickering between the wood under her hand and your face. “It’s just nice, I guess.” She knew it was nice, she knew she looked forward to this. She didn’t know what kind of control you had over her, but everything about you made her stutter and smile like a teenage girl.

“Laurie thinks you have a crush on me.” You said, innocently, as your eyes fluttered to the face next to yours. She hadn’t looked at you in a minute, processing her own movements carefully.

Vi let out a chuckle, looking up at you finally; blue eyes shifting in the moonlight. “He never knows when to keep his mouth shut, does he?” She said, smiling a toothy grin.

“Is it true?” Your eyes studied her face, seeing as her gaze fell down before she spoke once more.

“What’s true?”

“Do you have a crush on me?” You spoke, and suddenly Violet's throat felt dry and she felt childish for even thinking that she stood a chance. She cursed everything about herself. The way she liked girls, the way she liked you. Everything.

“I- wha-” Without even saying her reply, you cupped her jaw moving your body over both of the woven chairs. It felt like heaven, feeling your lips on hers as her body softened into the movement, her hands moving to hold your cheek, leaving her nervous fidgeting behind as she felt her body revel in the new feeling she had found.

You pulled back, she felt empty. You let out a steady breathe, and Vi could feel her cheeks heat at how you seemed to loose yourself for a second before talking again. “Vi, I like you alo-” You didn’t even finish your admittance of feelings before her lips were back on yours, mind finally processing what had just happened. You smiled into the kiss, and she felt her mind lose itself.

Two years, she had given two years to your relationship. Another year of friendship before that. She felt like some prank was being played on her, with the way you tucked your fingers behind her jaw as you kissed her in celebration. Vi’s eyes were pushed open, trying to decipher the emotion she felt.

You held the letter that risked everything, that risked your whole relationship. She knew how much you wanted this, and now she had the answer. She would choose the adventure, the internship.

You pulled from the kiss, waving the letter around in the air as you began to mock kissing it. Were you mocking her? Her eyes were awake, her mind was rambling. She felt fooled, she felt like she was in high school again. She felt like she had been dating a girl for two years straight only to be told that it was all a prank at the moment she felt complete, only she knew she was overreacting. She knew you weren’t breaking up with her. She knew that you were just happy. But that broke her.

Her face moved into auto-play, as she mocked a smile and moved to hold your hands. “When will you go?” She asked, trying not to sound different. She tried.

“October!” You smiled, moving to kiss her cheek as you danced around the flat. October, autumn.

When you had left her, she knew it wasn’t a goodbye. The way the sweater hugged you as you pulled alongside the suitcase, waving a sweet see-you-later to your girlfriend. It was like watching your life slip, if Violet was dead she would have not known it yet- her mind was replaying that moment for weeks after.

The way you moved so easily, and how quickly you turned your back as you entered the gate. How you held the pamphlet in your hands, mocking how much you were to live without her. For seven weeks, four days and thirteen hours Violet held onto that life with you until she couldn't remember your voice anymore, until she found your letters slowing to an end, till she felt as if she truly lost you.

Then she tried to move on. Tried.

She rocked back in the cafe chair, letting the cooling water chill her warm body. Summer wasn’t nice in Piltover. Her head ached slightly from last night's drinking, as her mind swarmed. Were the glasses too overkill, was it obvious she had only woken up an hour ago? Her fingers moved to pinch the wooden arm-rest, carving her anxieties into the material.

Her leg bounced, her eyes scanned the area. You mocked her. In every person she saw you. In every bartender, and drunken one night stand. In every bouncer, and every person who fed the cats at a cafe. She saw you, like a ghost- mimicking and mocking her every move. You were taunting her, making her mind run wild with the idea of you. She didn't realize until now how many people she liked because of you. You, it was all because of you.

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. “Violet!’ Your voice broke the muffled silence of her head, her eyes moved up to the street seeing as your arm waved with a smile pressed onto your face. Fuck, you.

@ emonopolyman 2023

hope you enjoyed xoxo

tags: @iheartsadiesink @ffiahh

if you would like to be added to my tag list just go to the taglist section on my introduction post xoxo