Preparing For Tomorrow

Preparing for Tomorrow

As a leader, what can you do to prepare for tomorrow, today. While you dont have to execute the tasks, you can plan what needs to be done, so that you know how much time you need to complete the task, what dependencies there are, and what assumptions and unknowns need to be answered. And, if there are simple tasks that can be done today, then by all means, do them.

University of Michigan researchers have revealed an incredible prototype technology - a braille tablet. Current designs only allow for one line of braille, but the new prototype displays full pages of text. Find out more and watch the project leader, Dr. Sile O’Modhrain, discuss the developments at BGR. Pair with our eReader cheat sheet.

6 quick and easy ways to connect with anyone

Successors

As the old theory goes, only 1 can be your successor. But ... what if you taught 100s how to be your successor?

A problem with successors is that restricted knowledge becomes lost over time due to forgetting to transfer it, filtering out knowledge, those with the knowledge choose to die vs allow it to be misused, or the knowledge looses relevance .. as when technology dies.

In either case the knowledge has to be rediscovered. This rediscovery takes time and effort. The best way to secure it is in multiple.forms, and teach people how to.rediscover it when necessary.

The Crux / Crutch

The crux of conflict management is knowing that the person who is maintain a state of conflict is stuck there because they feel it’s normal.  

It’s a sad state of be in, constant conflict, as it raises everyone else anxiety, as they don’t believe that it is normal. They don’t have the same experiences as this individual has. And, as such, this individual finds that their present experience is playing out exactly as their previous experiences have.

Theory Test: If the task, is the task, is the task, do you need conflict to feel normal while doing the task?

If you don’t need to feel emotional anxiety while doing a task, and someone else does, who has an experience with this task that causes them to act out of their emotional anxiety? This is the hard part of conflict management, showing the individual with the conflict that what they think is normal, is not normal at all, and in fact, is abnormal behavior, thinking, and believing. 

People who believe that they are not getting their emotional needs met, believe that no matter what you do to meet their emotional needs you are insulting them. This becomes a negative feedback loop and self fulfilling prophecy as they are no longer looking at a positive outcome, but a negative outcome that their normal situation constantly predicts.

Their crutch

This is their crutch .. you need to play your role for their experiences to play out exactly as they expect them to happen. Doing anything else, is considered inappropriate.

Many people believe, especially in AA Groups, that you can never understand the pain of their problem.  I’m, challenge that belief. I believe that they cannot properly articulate their pain for you understand.  Otherwise, movies would be unsuccessful in getting you to empathize with a hero who struggles to overcome their internal and external conflicts to triumph over their foe. 

I, also believe, that we use the phrases, “You don’t understand”, “It’s complicated”, “It’s a long story!” to withhold information that seems embarrassing. The reason why is that people are following their teachings, cultural references about dealing with problems, previous experiences where people judged them, teased them, or took advantage of them because of the problem.

Thus there are two problems to overcome here. The first is getting the individual stuck in an anxiety ridden self fulfilling conflict to stop staying, “It’s  too embarrassing to talk about!” and moving them to describe a future that helps them get what they really wanted. (Past Tense!)

Challenging Outcomes

There are many beliefs that define their outcomes:

Cultural References

Teachings

Judgments

Previous Experiences

Normal vs Normal

Never challenge beliefs directly. A person will die for their beliefs before they will change them for you or anyone else. Instead, challenge their outcomes. It is their past experience that defines how a situation will turn out. Thus, by challenging their outcomes, you can begin to unravel that mystery that brought them to believe that this outcome is inevitable.

First, they are an expert in seeing every single data point that predicts this outcome.  They have lived it, probably 100′s of times.  Are they consciously aware of these details? And, they are probably talking about the details of their prediction without realizing it.  Take note of the phrases they use, this will be important in steering them towards a positive outcome.

For example, battered women report always falling in love for the same type of guy over and over again, and not knowing why they constantly fall into this trap. There are two problems with their relationships: 1) what traits do all the men they choose have in common with each other. 2) how often are they recreating the situation needed for them to feel normal.  Thus, while they may find a man who isn’t abusive, they may unknowingly force the man to abuse them.

Becoming Friends

Friends share experiences consistently. Did you know that?  Deep friendships are built by sharing stories, common experiences, past histories.  How many times have you read a good story that got you to identify with every problem that the hero was dealing with? You don’t have to tell each other stories, it can be as simple as riding a bike, or going to lunch, or reading books in a library.

It’s during these times that small things are dropped.  Specifically walls around what can and can’t be shared. As they they describe a situation, they will use specific words and phrases. These phrases relate directly to the data points that describes their understanding of the outcome they see happening.

I’m using data points, when points of reference, means the same thing. 

From these points of reference, a timeline and story can be built that describes both the current situation as well as the past situation. The past history is the most important for because it is where the original emotional wound lies.  There was a desire to get what they wanted, and they were not in a position of power to get it.  

From this perspective, it becomes easier to see how a person not in power has to beg, plead, or steal to get what they wanted. It is also easier to understand why they feel they have to keep playing out this same game over and over again in adult hood.  Every superior reminds them of the superior that lauded over them in this past history.

Creating Change

“Friends share experiences consistently.”, did you notice the word, “consistently”?  Consistency is the piece of the puzzle that creates the framework for change.  You constantly showing what calm and normalcy look like, while your friend rages against the machine.  This alone provides the strongest evidence against their negative outcome. It shows that other choices lead to different outcomes.

If at each point of reference, there were different choices that could be made, what choices would they be?  Do they see them?  Do they believe that they are realistic choices? If you were to write a story, where the options lead to different positive outcomes, what would this story involve?

In order to have a positive outcome, you have to overcome the resistance to change with three things:

Dissatisfaction with the current reality

A realistic vision of a better future

A first realistic concrete step

If their new story contains these 3 elements of them succeeding, then they will not only be aware of the points of reference, they will also know how to steer the story towards a positive outcome they want.

Wednesday - Workout

My body decided it wanted to jog this morning, then do rows.  /me sighs.  

So I get on the tredmill, ramp it up to 3.5 mph and I’m dragging my ass. I ask, “Are you sure?”  I get back “Yes!”.  OK!

Jogging ...

3.5 mph .. 3 mins, 95 bpm, 100 breaths 5.5 mph .. 16 mins, 157 bpm, 500 breaths 3.5 mph .. 5 mins, 115 bpm, 200 breaths 6 mph - 5.5 mph .. 10 mins, 167 bpm, 300 breaths 3.5 mph .. 4 mins, 124 bpm, 200 breaths

I’m exhausted

Rows ..

Normal Grip overhead .. 45x25, x3 Reverse Grip overhead .. 45x25 x3 Normal Grip hip level .. 45x25 x2

I’m exhausted

I’m DIzzy

I did an air squat, and almost fainted when I stood up.  

/me sighs .. this is not good.