Trust Vs Understanding

Trust vs Understanding

For me, “Trust” is a 4 letter word. That’s because too many people have asked me to “Trust” them, only to find out that the “Trust” was misplaced because they were withholding information needed to properly evaluate a situation and make suitable decisions necessary to mitigate a larger problem.  

Instead, I work based on “Understanding”. The difference is that understanding a situation and everything it entails allows me to make a better decision, and help in resolving the problem we are facing. I don’t have to rely solely on others. 

Number 1 Sign of High Intelligence

Smart people are actually wrong a lot.

Scientists have "observed that the smartest people are constantly revising their understanding, reconsidering a problem they thought they'd already solved. They're open to new points of view, new information, new ideas, contradictions, and challenges to their own way of thinking."

Being an Invisible Mediator

Become an invisible mediator and take an active hand in shaping the society yet to come by teaching people how to treat each other with compassion and empathy.

Keeping an empathic and positive social network is a proven way to improve emotional resilience - The support of positive people who care about you will help bolster your resilience when the going gets tough. Being alone or surrounded by negative people w

Quarreling Siblings

As a parent, you might relate to quarreling siblings each picking on each other, and eventually getting into a fight because neither started the fight, neither are willing to end the fight, and neither believe that they are in the wrong for either continuing the fight or for starting it. And, yet, you have to stop the fight by sending both of them to their respective corners.

Why?  Why do you stop the fight?  What is your reason as an adult for stopping the fight?

There are many reasons: 

you’re tired of hearing them quarrell? 

you’re afraid they might actually cause physical damage to the house?

you’re worried that they may hurt each other?

you’re worried that you’ll get into trouble of the police are called, and they file charges through child protective services?

you believe that siblings need to fight to prepare them for the real world which will beat them down at the first instant it can.

What distinguishes Good Leaders from Great Leaders is their reason.  And, the way they go about separating the siblings, as well as bringing them back together again.

Great Leaders separate the siblings because there is an expectation of how they are to treat each other, even when their is a disagreement.  In general, it’s called, “Dialogue”.   But not just any dialogue, it’s a discussion about what was the original point that caused the ruckus in the first point.

What type of society do you want to live in? Is it a society that quarrels with each other over the smallest of issues, or one that discusses the issues to understand them and find solutions that start addressing part of the issue, if not all of it.

The next step is to bring the two siblings back to each other, through their motivations.  What ever the original issue was, it may not be remembered, but what is remembered are the feelings and motivations for starting the fight.  These will uncover the reason for the fight.  And, through these, the two siblings and begin repairing the damage caused by the fight.

Eventually, as I’ve found, at some point, one sibling will need something from the other sibling. And, then either the argument will be over, or it will start again.  But, in most cases, the argument will be over, and the relationship will begin to be repaired.

17 miles