He Looks Like A Centaur Without The Horse (that Was Yesterday)

He looks like a centaur without the horse (that was yesterday)

Postin here cause it blew the fuck up on twitter

Lyrics by @ajlenoire and @kiwi

after dying god informs you that hell is a myth, and “everyone sins, its ok”. instead the dead are sorted into six “houses of heaven” based on the sins they chose.

reading letters from 1818 is wild

“it’s that time of the year when I get colds for no apparent reason again” have some Clairitin hon

An older gentleman came into the nature center and asked me a bunch of questions about tarantulas. Then he pulled out his phone and showed me a picture.

“My son is a DNR officer in Arizona,” he said. “He found this tarantula with a tail in his house. Do you know what species it is?”

I looked at the photo, but from six feet away it was difficult to understand what I was seeing. I had him send it to the official park email so that I could take another look at it. Here is my reply:

Upon closer examination, it appears that this is not a tarantula at all. I was happily able to identify it as Manumala noxhydria during the parasitic secondary stage of its lifecycle. It was probably wandering into your son’s house in search of a suitable host. Use caution when approaching. They are considered an invasive species in all parts of the world and are capable of spraying a paralytic chemical into the face of predators and potential hosts. Careful destruction is recommended. For more information regarding pest control, contact species expert Ellen Ripley.