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Erheig - ? - Tumblr Blog
An older gentleman came into the nature center and asked me a bunch of questions about tarantulas. Then he pulled out his phone and showed me a picture.
“My son is a DNR officer in Arizona,” he said. “He found this tarantula with a tail in his house. Do you know what species it is?”
I looked at the photo, but from six feet away it was difficult to understand what I was seeing. I had him send it to the official park email so that I could take another look at it. Here is my reply:
Upon closer examination, it appears that this is not a tarantula at all. I was happily able to identify it as Manumala noxhydria during the parasitic secondary stage of its lifecycle. It was probably wandering into your son’s house in search of a suitable host. Use caution when approaching. They are considered an invasive species in all parts of the world and are capable of spraying a paralytic chemical into the face of predators and potential hosts. Careful destruction is recommended. For more information regarding pest control, contact species expert Ellen Ripley.
dealing with the worst case scenario
your condom breaks
you feel a lump on your breast
your friends are ignoring you
you’re stranded on an island
you got rejected by a crush
you get into a car accident
you got stung by a bee/wasp
you got fired from your job
you’re in an earthquake
your tattoo gets infected
your house is on fire
you’re lost in the woods
you get arrested abroad
you get robbed
your partner cheated on you
you’re on a ship that’s sinking
you fall into ice
you’re stuck in an elevator
you hit a deer with your car
you have food poisoning
your pet passed away
you fall off of a horse
you or your friend has alcohol poisoning
you have toxic shock syndrome
your house has a gas leak
God bless
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reading letters from 1818 is wild
“it’s that time of the year when I get colds for no apparent reason again” have some Clairitin hon
In other news, it is now not only morally acceptable but the morally correct thing to do to pirate the fuck out of Adobe’s software line.
Reblog if you think asexuality is a legitimate sexuality.
I'm trying to prove something.
❗ATTENTION❗
DO NOT BUY ANYTHING JULY 4TH -7TH
PEOPLE OF THE BLM MOVEMENT ARE TRYING TO CAUSE AN ECONOMIC BLACKOUT THAT WOULD COST THE GOVERNMENT AROUND 3.5 BILLION DOLLARS!
❗SPREAD THE NEWS❗
(6/2/2020)
Larry, if we make an effort today, we might be able to save August. Jaws (1975) | dir. Steven Spielberg
Postin here cause it blew the fuck up on twitter
Lyrics by @ajlenoire and @kiwi
Rah Rah Rasputin Mother of the Guillotine
I heard his dick was twelve inches long
rah rah rasputin something something sour cream
That’s Louis Rossman, a repair technician and YouTuber, who went viral recently for railing against Apple. Apple purposely charges a lot for repairs and you either have to pay up or buy a new device. That’s because Apple withholds necessary tools and information from outside repair shops. And to think, we were just so close to change.
Follow @the-future-now
The rest of the month’s content is much more entertaining, I promise.
Reblog if you're not homophobic
Every url that reblog’s will be written in a book and shown to my homophobic dad.
Hell yeah, the wild magic table is absurd. There’s stuff like
You summon a unicorn
You cast fireball centered on yourself
Roll a d10. Your age changes by the number you rolled
You instantly grow a long, black beard of feathers. It explodes the next time you sneeze.
Each creature within thirty feet of you becomes invisible
Etc.
okay I might be incredibly late to this particular party but I decided to actually read through the Wild Magic Surge table in full following the most recent TAZ Graduation episode and there’s this:
after dying god informs you that hell is a myth, and “everyone sins, its ok”. instead the dead are sorted into six “houses of heaven” based on the sins they chose.
I have a really complex relationship with religion, but here’s something positive
ppl w adhd and autism reblog and add what texture is so awful it haunts your dreams its okay if its incredibly specific ill go first: scratching my nails on a car
He looks like a centaur without the horse (that was yesterday)
Pfft, you don’t have the text and rulings of every single card committed to memory? Filthy Casual 😒 smh
Its time to d-d-d-d-duel!
wait people sleep with their doors closed????