Reblog If You're Not Homophobic

Reblog if you're not homophobic

Every url that reblog’s will be written in a book and shown to my homophobic dad. 

Pfft, you don’t have the text and rulings of every single card committed to memory? Filthy Casual 😒 smh

Its time to d-d-d-d-duel!

reading letters from 1818 is wild

“it’s that time of the year when I get colds for no apparent reason again” have some Clairitin hon

An older gentleman came into the nature center and asked me a bunch of questions about tarantulas. Then he pulled out his phone and showed me a picture.

“My son is a DNR officer in Arizona,” he said. “He found this tarantula with a tail in his house. Do you know what species it is?”

I looked at the photo, but from six feet away it was difficult to understand what I was seeing. I had him send it to the official park email so that I could take another look at it. Here is my reply:

Upon closer examination, it appears that this is not a tarantula at all. I was happily able to identify it as Manumala noxhydria during the parasitic secondary stage of its lifecycle. It was probably wandering into your son’s house in search of a suitable host. Use caution when approaching. They are considered an invasive species in all parts of the world and are capable of spraying a paralytic chemical into the face of predators and potential hosts. Careful destruction is recommended. For more information regarding pest control, contact species expert Ellen Ripley.

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak