she/ twenty one.
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Bones and All (2022) dir. Luca Guadagnino // The Girl Aquarium by Jen Campbell
bones and all being about how when you love someone you want every part of them. you want to know them inside and out. there’s no part of them you want to be missing from your life. what you feel feels insatiable. it feels like a craving. needing to devour their love and affection. loving someone who has traits that you hate about yourself. the acceptance of your flaws because someone loves you fully and completely despite them. finding a home within someone because the house you grew up in never felt like home. feeling safe even through the most vile moments because you’re with them. wanting to carry a piece of them with you everywhere you go. being away from them feels like you’re missing a piece of yourself. loving you means taking care of you even in my last moments. “just love me and eat me, bones and all”
i appreciate in cannibalism the existence of love or desire as something poisonous, with an absurd dependence, whether on one side or both. the kind of love that eats away from the inside out. the purity of two loves and the way you would do anything to feel someone else's love inside you and make them feel you too. all that character's burning desire to know he's wrong and want it anyway... it's beautiful.
"White Night", Anna Akhmatova (translated by D. M. Thomas)
“i will be everywhere you look but nowhere to be found.” and “you think i’m gone cause i left, but i’m in the trees, i’m in the breeze, my footsteps on the ground… you see my face in every place but you can’t catch me now.” is so haunting. genuinely. the thought of having this thing that you love torn from you, and no matter what you do, how far you run, how close you get—you’ll never find it. you’ll never touch it again, you’ll never hold it in your hands, or feel it, or even see it again. it will forever be lost to you. and you have to exist on without it, as if every second you breathe isn’t defined by the loss, the lack. as if every room you enter is simply a room without it.
“my ship kissed!” “my ship held hands!!!” okay. well. my ship had holes in it and was doomed to sink from the very moment of its departure. my ship flipped and drowned all the passengers. my ship had a sail that only faced windward. my ship’s home had always been at the bottom of the ocean floor. my ship is stained with barnacles and prone to heavy winds. my ship’s dock isnt waiting for it to return. And they still didnt fuck even once
bones and all (2022) dir. luca guadagnino / ‘the war of vaslav nijinsky,’ frank bidart
“why would you write fics for small, unpopular fandoms? you’re not gonna reach that many hits in fandoms not many people know about” ?? because I’m not writing fics for hits or kudos, I’m writing them for me because these characters are my blorbos and I have so many ideas, so much thoughts about them that my brain might explode if I don’t write them out.
if she's your girl why is she breaking open my ribcage and devouring me like an animal?
i sometimes forget that this is everyone’s first time on earth too. like. this is my first time seeing a butterfly this color. but its that little girl’s first time seeing any butterfly, ever. and i accidentally left a bag of groceries at the store after paying and now i’m cursing under my breath and it’s like. there a thousand other people out there who did that today too. and a thousand more from yesterday. and. like. we’re not actually alone. and we’re not actually failing. at least not in a way that a few billion people haven’t before you
TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET and TAYLOR RUSSEL as Lee and Maren Yearly in BONES AND ALL (2022) dir. Luca Guadagnino
TAYLOR RUSSELL as Maren Yearly BONES AND ALL — 2022, dir. Luca Guadagnino costumes by Giulia Piersanti and Zachary Sheets
Grief is the only proof that I love and I love well. Love and grief are actually intertwined with each other and as "Akif Kichloo" once wrote, "the opposite of grief is not laughter or happiness or joy. It is love. It is love. It is love."
— Audrey Niffenegger, from ‘The Time Traveller's Wife’ (via lunamonchtuna)
brother i’m going to be honest with you. i don’t give a fuck if he’s “redeemable” or not. what is this, the checkout counter? he’s not a fucking COUPON!!!!!
