Eroslostlove - Tumblr Blog

Virginia Woolf, The Years

daydreaming instead of paying attention

me

the feminine urge to be ethereal and hauntingly beautiful

i just want to live in the forest

OMG

im convinced having a crush is karma for all the bitchy things i’ve done in my life

— vladimir nabokov, in a letter to his wife [24 march 1937] from letters to véra (trans. olga voronina & brian boyd)

i hate you

I can never doubt myself without thinking of what you told me at 11:30 pm in your backyard on March 12th. You told me to reach for the stars. And it's not like I’ve never been told this before, but for the first time, I felt like I could. I finally felt like someone believed in me. You make me want to reach for the stars and for that, I hate you more than you will ever know. Or maybe I don't. Maybe hate is the only way I can classify this feeling because my body and mind reject it.

its just me and my pink flum against the world <3

The feminine urge to trim my bangs to see if my crush notices 

“I want you to hold out the palm of your hand”

Is it better to speak or to die?

I’ve only spoken once and I don't think I’ll make that mistake again. Don't get me wrong I talk a lot, but I don't speak very much. I dont go into the details of my feelings and I don't confront people with them either. I did once and I regretted it instantly. I spoke and it was liberating for the two minutes before I got a response. The second I got a response it settled. I spoke. I finally did it, but it made me want to die. At least if you don't speak you have the comfort of dying with your own words. The words you placed upon yourself. The words you stayed up all night pondering about. I spoke once and the pain that came with it was unbearable. I will never again put myself in a vulnerable position that gets me caught in the crossfire of someone else's issues. I never want to feel what I felt that day. Having your deepest insecurities reassured by someone you care so deeply about is the worst pain I've ever endured. Saying I was sad is an understatement. What I felt was more than sadness. I was ashamed and filled with regret. I’d never felt regret to that extent before. It caused a sort of depression that I had never experienced. Well maybe depression is a euphemism for what I felt but that's the best way I can put it into words. I would rather die a million times if it meant that I never had to feel whatever it was I felt that day.