Broken Mind, Broken Soul

Broken Mind, Broken Soul

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.6k

Warnings: heavy angst, abuse scars, post-prison!spencer, parent/domestic violence (implicit), pretending to be fine when you're not, smut (maybe considered CNC? i'm not sure but better but that on here)

Summary: Spencer is back from prison so he’s trying to pick up the pieces and get back into his old life. Something is off about you but he respects your boundaries until he sees what you’ve been hiding from him.

Square Filled: cold-blooded torture for @badthingshappenbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

Spencer is home. He’s home and everything is going to go back to the way it was. He’s not going to find you. He’s not going to hurt you anymore. You want to be happy that your boyfriend is out of prison after nearly three months of being locked up for a crime he didn’t do. He suffered in there and you couldn’t do anything about it. He’s home now, and everyone is so happy to see him.

You stare at your reflection in the mirror and try not to break down in tears. This day is for Spencer. He’s home. You can take a break from your personal shit to give him a proper welcome home. If you can do that, you might make it out of this alive. You shake your head and plaster a smile on your face, one that looks like you’re not dying inside.

You leave the bathroom in search of your boyfriend who is spending time outside away from everyone. Spencer must have gone through hell inside the four walls of the prison so it’s a bit overwhelming to be back to his normal life. Everyone must understand that because they’re inside having a good time and giving Spencer his space.

You push past everyone and walk over to Henry’s small playground. Spencer is swinging lightly on the swings and you stand by him, waiting for him to look at you. When he does, you can see how empty they are. God, Spencer, what happened to you? You hope your eyes aren’t as empty as his. You’re really trying hard to put on a brave face but you’re not sure how much longer you can do this.

“Hey,” you say softly.

“Hey, yourself.” You walk around the other swing and sway in sync with Spencer. “Tell me what you’ve been up to since I was gone?”

You were and are afraid of this question. You’ve been preparing yourself for this question since hearing he was coming back but you never knew how to answer it. One wrong word and he’ll know exactly what you’ve been up to.

“You know, working cases like normal. We helped a lot of people but it wasn’t the same without you. I just tried to get through the day every day.”

“Yeah, I get it,” he sighs.

He believes you. He has no reason not to. Spencer looks at you to see a faraway look in your eyes. Maybe it’s just him but something might not be right. The look is gone in a split second and you’re back to pretending. Maybe it’s just him.

“Look, I know Rosis wanted to throw you this party but want to go home?”

“Yeah, I do,” he nods.

You two say your goodbyes to everyone before heading home. The drive is silent like you two don’t know how to talk to each other anymore. Sure, it could be the fact that Spencer has been in prison this whole time but he suspects something else happened. You two didn’t talk much but he doesn’t know what could be bothering you.

It’s been nearly three months without you in his bed, and he can’t help himself when he sees you in his bed. It’s been three months since he’s touched you so he walks over to you and crawls up your body. You want to enjoy this. You want to be here for him but you’re stuck inside your own head. You don’t dare let him know what you’re thinking so maybe if you go along with it, you can slip further into the facade you’re putting up.

You two kiss but he’s so wound up that he doesn’t register that you’re not as into it as he is. You’re here for him, that’s all that matters. You’re okay with this even if your body is telling you no. He reaches for your shirt but you’re quick to grab his hands to stop him.

“Keep the shirt on.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just want my shirt to stay on.”

“Okay,” he nods respectfully.

He kisses you in all the right spots and touches you where he knows you like to be touched. He is doing absolutely everything right so why do you want to break down in tears right now? Get it together. Just give him what he wants. It might fix you. So, you listen to that part of your brain. He flips you so you’re on your stomach and fucks you from behind. You grip the sheets tightly and put your face in the bed so he doesn’t see the tears, so he doesn’t hear your cries.

You love Spencer and you’re trying hard not to let him see your true feelings. You don’t want to hurt him. It has nothing to do with him but you’re scared to let him see just how broken you are. Thankfully, he’s spent by the time he’s done so he doesn’t see the tears on your cheeks. You immediately roll over and put your head over his heart, and he runs his fingers through your hair. He moves his hands down to your back but you immediately spring away from him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just need to shower.” He goes to move. “Alone.”

He watches you disappear into the bathroom with a frown. Since the BAU is requesting that Spencer take some time off, he is forced to stay home while you go to work. Everything seems to be the same but this time, you’re gone before he can wake up, and you get home right before he goes to bed. You don’t change in front of him anymore which is the first red flag. He has seen every intimate part of your body, tasted every part of you, so why are you hiding from him now? He’s not going to be a dick and force you to do something you don’t want to do, but why now?

What happened to you while he was in prison?

“Hey, are we okay?” Spencer asks one night after you had just gotten home from work.

“Of course we are.”

“Okay, because if we aren’t, you’d tell me, right?”

“Yes.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine, Spencer.”

You walk into the bathroom to take a bath, leaving him to pick up the pieces you didn’t know you dropped. I’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. It’s the “be” part that is setting off alarm bells. If you had said, “I’m fine”, he would have passed it off and left you alone. The fact that you added the word “be” means you’re definitely not fine. The last time you said, “I’ll be fine” was when he had to pry you from your cold-hearted and evil father’s arms right before he went to prison for what he did to you.

Damn, he should have seen the signs before. You had shut everyone down. You didn’t want to be kissed or touched. You stayed in bed for seventy-two straight hours before Spencer had to force you out of it. Your father is and was an evil man who did untold cold-blooded torture to his own daughter. Your emotional scars don’t show but the physical ones do--whip marks, cigarette burns, and stab wounds. Anything to get his anger out.

Spencer walks to the bathroom carefully and knocks twice on the door. When you don’t answer, he pushes the door open to see you with your back turned toward him. There are newer and fresh scars on your back from the same kind of torture. Some are pinker than others. These ones are recent but how can this be? He hasn’t let you out of his sight since… Prison. He kneels next to the tub and looks at you but you’re not seeing him. You’re staring at the faucet as a single drop of water leaks from it.

“Who did this to you?” Spencer asks angrily. You don’t answer. “Was it your father?”

“He got out of prison when you went in. He found me at work and took me back to that farm,” you whisper. “I was just about to take two weeks off so no one questioned why I was gone. He kept me for three before he just let me go. I got back just days before you did.”

It takes Spencer five minutes to say something because of how angry he is, and he has all this pent-up anger that he’d love to get out.

“Is he breathing?” You can only nod in response. “Not for long, he won’t.”

Your head snaps up at his response but he’s already by the door.

“What are you going to do?”

“Something I should have done the first time around. That man will never touch a hair on your head ever again.”

Spencer leaves the bathroom door open so you can see what he’s doing. You get a flash of his FBI gun before he’s out of frame. You don’t stop him.

You’re in bed when he finally comes back. If you didn’t know where he was going, you’d think he went to the store. There is not a speck of blood on him or an ounce of regret on his face. You don’t ask where he’s been or if your father is alive even though you know he’d tell you if you did. Spencer climbs into bed and pulls you into him, and you rest your head on his chest.

I’m safe now. Spencer is home and everything is right with the world.

It’s going to take a long time until you’re okay again but with Spencer by your side, you know you can get there.

x

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I love you too. (Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook One Shot)

Requested by @adsku

Summary: You don’t want to love again, thanks to Kim Taehyung and your best friend’s little secrets but Jungkook doesn’t want to give you up. Not when you always deny the three words he keeps telling you.

Pairing: Jungkook×Reader, Taehyung×Reader

His heart beat rhythmically in his chest, your head resting on the expanse of his skin and your hands wrapped around his waist. His fingers drew circles on your back, a smile gracing your lips at how content you felt. 

“I think we should get a seven tiered cake on our wedding.” Taehyung voiced, earning a chuckle from you as you looked up at him. His lips turned into a pout, eyebrows etched together in a frown. “I wasn’t joking." 

You shook your head, picking yourself up and straddling him. Taehyung rested his head on the headboard of the bed, his eyes raking over your body which was covered only in undergarments as an aftermath of the sexual activities you had engaged in, just moments ago. He placed his hands on your hips, smiling at the promise ring that glinted on his finger. "You haven’t proposed to me, Taehyung, it’s only promise rings.” You replied, your voice soft and breathy in the dark room. Taehyung rolled his eyes, getting up and pushing you onto your back before hovering over you. His rubbed his nose against yours, his forehead resting upon yours.

“It’s a promise ring. Which means I promise to be with you forever. I’ve booked you for myself so someday, we’re definitely getting married.” He explained, holding your wrists in place on either side of your head. You bit your lips, your heart racing in your chest as you admired the man before you. Taehyung was simply beautiful. The charming personality was just a bonus. You couldn’t bring yourself to believe that it had been three years since your relationship began, every day being something new with Taehyung by your side. All your friends always told you that he was a gem, especially Jane, your best friend since forever. You treasured your love, knowing that you’ll never be so smitten with anyone else. 

“Okay then, my future husband. What else do you have in mind?” You asked sweetly, laughing when Taehyung’s head fell to your shoulder, a soft groan escaping his lips at the nickname. “You make me absolutely insane. I love you so much.” He mumbled, his lips leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck which had you fluttering your eyes shut. His lips trailed down your body, his hands letting go of your wrists and caressing your skin.

“I love you too.”

____________________________________________

You glanced at yourself in the mirror, running your fingers across the smooth material of the light blue dress you were wearing. Your silver stilettos glimmered in the lights, your hair neatly styled at the back of your head. Your make up was subtle, enough to hide all the flaws that tainted your face. You sighed, concluding that you finally looked perfect to be attending a wedding. 

“And who gave you permission to look so gorgeous? Now I’ll have to fight every man who looks your way.” You rolled your eyes, a faint smile playing at your lips as you turned around to see your boyfriend standing by the door, clad in a dark grey suit. Your heart fluttered at the sight of him smiling fondly at you, a dimple digging into his cheek. “Says the man who has every patient of his swooning over him.” You teased, grinning as Jungkook walked towards you while laughing. It was ironic, actually, seeing as you used to be his patient too. The difference was that Jungkook was the one who started wanting something more from you. 

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→ The wolf and the lamb

Synopsis: You went to the countryside to visit your aunt, a place with old churches, traditional people throwing you nasty looks, rural houses, and a murderer slashing people. The fact that the sheriffs do nothing doesn’t worry you as much as the heavy gaze you feel on you from your aunt’s barn. Someone was preying on you, and you were scared of being eaten by a wolf, one with a bloodied ax.

J. Jungkook x f. reader.

Genre: Slasher au | Southern horror | yandere.

2.1K words.

Tags: Slasher Jungkook, rural america, naive reader, murder, serial killer, psychological terror, yander-ish, infatuated Jungkook, threats, farms, Dubious consent, at first isn't consensual but it'll turn consensual, fear kink, overstimulation, drachyphilia, crying during sex, Jk's a bit of sadist but he likes reader too much.

Little sneak peek↓

...you didn’t receive a response, not even a chuckle from your aunt. You felt a presence on your back, a piercing stare all over your body. It was a bit unnerving the silence between you both, it never happened before, and you were too occupied feeding the pigs, until you stopped at hearing steps coming closer to you, heavy and slow steps, too large to be from your aunt. Your heart fell to your stomach at the realization, who was behind you? And why didn’t they say something? A hot breath brushed the back of your neck, and you gasped, ready to turn around and insult whoever invaded your personal space but big hands grabbed your waist to stop your movements. “Still.” He warned you with a low and hoarse voice, with his hot breath brushing your ear. And you did stay still, freeze by fear with your heart beating wildly against your ribcage. A hand climbed slowly to your body, exploring the skin of your belly under your shirt. And you felt frightened, angry and violated. “Don’t touch me! HELP!” You screamed at the top of your lungs, but a large hand covering your mouth stopped your screams and sobs. The man behind you hissed with anger. “Fucking scream like that again and I’ll choke you and your aunt to death,” he snarled in your ear, making you tremble and cry harder. You nod quickly, trying to swallow your sobs. But he didn’t move his hand away from your mouth, he brushed your bottom lip with his thumb instead. His hand was big and veiny, and the skin felt rough telling you he labors hard with them. “I’ll visit you tonight again, just to talk,” he said mouthing your neck very slowly, awaking chills on you, “and you better not tell a soul about it, because then I won’t be nice to you. So be good, and wait for me, city girl.” The mock went disregarded when you felt his tongue lapping your neck and jaw like a starving dog. Bill rose to your throat at the feeling. But before you throw out, he disappears from your back. Leaving you alone and with weak knees, frightened by his dark promise of coming back for you. What the fuck will you do now?

a/n: want to read it right away? click here to early access.

this will be posted on my tumblr in 3 weeks!

Eat Me

Forbidden Fables masterlist

Everyone in wonderland knew the story of the little girl who had come through the rabbit hole and caused so much trouble. Everyone knew how the foundations of their land had been turned on its head after her visit. The little girl escaped back to her own world, but she’d left wonderland in ruins however unintentionally. 

There was no more white queen, no more red queen. There was only the king of hearts and the tyrannical hold he had over wonderland.

The flowers didn’t sing anymore. There were no tea parties thrown by the hatter and the march hare, no door mice in teapots. The land of magic and wonder that the little girl remembered was gone. In its place was a world shaped by the king of hearts in his own image. 

“Your majesty!” a trembling vasel approached the throne of the king dreading his master’s reaction to the news he was about to deliver. 

“What?” The king snapped, dark gaze fixed on the cause of the interruption to his day. 

“We found her, your majesty.” the poor man squeaked trembling in his boots. “We found the girl.” 

The king’s eyes filled with a kind of dark delight that sent a chill through everyone who saw it. “Send the rabbit. Bring her home.” 

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You could never hurt me

my masterlist

+18!!!

pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

summary: Spencer is terrified of hurting you, but one night, he finally gives in.

words: 1,6k

warnings: smut - unprotected sex (don't do that), soft!dom!Spencer, marking, bruising, hickeys, praise <3

a/n: this was a request! Also, all I could think about while writing this was Edward in breaking dawn pt. 1 because Bella wanted to have sex so badly. She was so horny, but Edward was like, "No! We are not doing that. I will not be matching your freak until we are merried!". So it finally happens and it's kind of cute because it's both of their first time. And the next day, Bella wakes up so happy, like it was the best night of her life, but Edward is miserable and sad because she has some bruising. She obviously couldn't care less, but Edward looks like he's about to kill himself. Also, I saw a theory that those bruises were actually from Jacob grabbing her too roughly at the wedding, but I don't know about that. I love Edward so much! like... that's my man. (my friend gave me a birthday card with him and spencer. I might have a type...)

Spencer was a man of control. Every action, every word, every thought meticulously calculated. His job demanded it, and he excelled at it. But in the intimate corners of his life, especially with you, that control was both a safeguard and a prison.

He was terrified of hurting you. Every time you two were together, he held back, despite the simmering desire in his eyes.

And you could see it.

He was on top of you, both in his and your favorite place. Your legs spread wide to allow him the most access, his arms wrapped around you. He moved slowly, prolonging every stroke, his lips pressed to the skin of your shoulder. 

His breathing quickened, and he started moving faster but stopped himself with a sigh almost immediately.

You could tell what he really wanted, what he craved. You also knew he would never allow himself to even ask you for permission.

For Spencer, there was no better feeling in this world than being on you, bringing you pleasure. Your soft moans and teary eyes were like a miracle he thanked the universe for every night.

His urge to let himself go overwhelmed him way too often. He dreamed about losing himself in you, moving with more pressure, faster, wilder, rougher, until you couldn't catch your breath anymore and you cried out, reaching your orgasm one after the other.

But he couldn't. You seemed so fragile and soft, and you loved him and cared for him the way no one ever had before. 

The mere thought of causing you any pain or discomfort was Spencer's worst nightmare. He wanted nothing less than pleasure, beauty, love, and kindness for you. 

That’s what you deserved.

He would not let himself cause you any pain. He could not be like the other monsters filling this world, the ones he has to catch. He was not like them. He was their opposite. He had to be.

But as you felt him withdraw and slow down, you couldn't ignore his and your desires anymore.

“Spencer,” you whispered, pressing your cheek against his. “It’s okay. I want all of you. I want you to let go. Don’t stop yourself.”

His breath hitched, fingers trembling as they traced your skin. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he murmured, his voice laced with fear and longing.

“You won’t,” you assured him, your voice firm. “I trust you, Spencer. Please. You could never hurt me. I know you couldn’t. I love you.”

His resolve wavered, the walls around his control cracking. “That's not who I am.”

“You’re not listening to me. You won’t hurt me. I want this,” you said, cupping his face and forcing him to meet your gaze. “You’re kind, gentle, and you care about me. Show me how much, Spencer. Don’t hold back. I want this.”

For a while, he just stared at you, studying your face.

“You promise to immediately tell me if anything’s wrong. Promise me.”

“I promise. I always do,” you said before kissing him and looking into his eyes again.

Something inside him snapped. 

A floodgate opened, releasing a torrent of pent-up desire.

His lips crashed against yours, the kiss deep and demanding. His hands gripped your wrists and put them above your head. He started moving a bit faster, drawing out a louder moan from your lips, which was immediately shut down by his tongue on yours.

You could feel the shift in him, the control slipping away. 

His hands, once gentle, now gripped your wrists with a firm intensity. His body pressed against yours with a newfound urgency.

His movements became more demanding, his hips driving into you with a force that left you breathless. 

Each thrust was deeper, harder, as if he was trying to merge his very essence with yours. 

The pace quickened, his strokes powerful and relentless, pushing you closer to the edge with every motion.

His breath was hot against your skin as he whispered, “Tell me if it’s too much.”

You shook your head, gasping, “Don’t stop, Please. I need this. I need you.”

A growl of desire escaped his lips as he moved even faster, his thrusts now wild and unrestrained. 

His arms held you in place as he drove into you with an intensity that bordered on primal. The bed creaked beneath you and mixed with the sound of your soft whimpers.

He nipped at your neck, his teeth grazing your skin, leaving marks of his possession. The slight sting only heightened your arousal, and you arched into him, meeting his fierce rhythm with equal fervor.

Spencer’s control was shattered, his desire for you taking over completely. 

He angled his thrusts to hit that perfect spot inside you, making you cry out his name. The look in his eyes was one of pure, unfiltered need, and you could see the satisfaction of finally letting go reflected in them.

He moved his hand to grab both of your wrists in it while his other one slid between your bodies, his fingers finding your most sensitive spot. He rubbed it in time with his thrusts, the dual sensations sending you spiraling toward your high. 

Your body tightened, the pleasure coiling within you until it was almost too much to bear.

“Spencer, I’m so close,” you gasped, your voice trembling.

"It's okay. You can let go," he commanded, his voice rough with passion and desire. His eyes, dark and intense, locked onto yours, filled with unwavering focus. "I want to feel you. Look at you... taking me so well."

His words were like velvet, each one wrapping around you, pulling you deeper.

"You're doing so well, baby. You're incredible… so perfect for me."

You cried out, feeling tears filling your eyes. You were so close. 

He knew exactly what he was doing. 

He knew that his words, dripping with praise, made you crazy.

"That's it, just like that." A smile, full of adoration and pride, spread across his lips. "I love seeing you like this, so beautiful and mine..."

With one final, powerful thrust, you shattered, your orgasm crashing over you in waves. 

Your muscles clenched around him, drawing a deep, guttural moan from his lips. 

He followed you over the edge, his release spilling into you as he buried his face in your neck, his breath ragged and hot. His arms dropped your wrists and tightened around your back, holding you close as you both rode out the aftershocks together.

For a moment, neither of you moved, the intensity of what just happened leaving you both breathless. Then, slowly, he pulled back slightly to look at you.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly, his eyes searching yours for any sign of discomfort.

You smiled, reaching up to stroke his cheek. “I’m more than okay. I loved it.”

He let out a shaky breath of relief, leaning in to kiss you tenderly. “I love you,” he whispered against your lips.

“I love you too,” you replied, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him close. 

--------------------------------

You woke up the next day quite late, alone in bed, with a smile plastered on your face. The memories of the previous night lingered in your mind, a warm, satisfying ache in your muscles. 

You slowly got up, feeling the pleasant soreness, and put on a shirt as you walked into the bathroom. Still smiling, you replayed all the pleasure in your head.

By the sink, as you reached to turn on the water, you noticed your wrists covered in a few bruises. They were small, nothing a long-sleeve shirt wouldn't cover. You looked at your neck, seeing the hickeys left by the man you loved so much. You smiled even wider at yourself in the mirror. 

Just then, Spencer walked in, his expression a mix of concern and guilt.

"I'm so sorry."

"About what?" you asked, meeting his gaze in the mirror.

His eyes softened but remained filled with remorse. "I hurt you."

"You didn't," you insisted, turning to face him fully, your expression earnest.

"I did," he said, his voice breaking slightly, his hand reaching out but stopping short of touching you.

You stepped closer, taking his hands in yours, feeling the tension in his grip. "Spencer, I wanted this. I feel amazing. It's just a few bruises. They'll be gone soon. You didn't hurt me. You could never hurt me."

He remained silent, his eyes filled with doubt, the weight of his guilt visible in the way his shoulders slumped. You could tell he didn't quite believe you and that he would be beating himself up over this for a while. You weren't sure how to convince him, but you needed him to understand.

"I think it's hot," you said, a playful smile tugging at your lips.

"You do?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowing in surprise.

"Yeah," you replied, your smile growing as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. "I'm yours and you're mine. And I love them."

You kissed him gently, pouring all your reassurance into the touch. His lips were soft against yours, hesitant at first but growing more confident as he felt your sincerity. 

After the kiss, he brought your wrists to his lips, placing soft, tender kisses on the bruises, his eyes never leaving yours. The tenderness in his touch made your heart swell, knowing he cared so deeply. You could feel his breath, warm and shaky, against your skin, each kiss a silent apology and a promise to be more careful.

the crimson shell

— pairing: jungkook x f!reader — genre: mermaid au, yandere au — w.c: 1.9k — warnings: mild stalking, near drowning, mentions of eating humans — notes: just wanted to contribute something to mermay! this is also my first time attempting to do anything in the realms of yandere (and mermaids!), so pls be nice lol. in this universe everyone is referred to as a mermaid, no matter what gender they are. this will most likely be a two or three part series with jk growing more and more obsessed as he gets y/n into his scaly clutches :)

Part I / II / III / IIII

— summary: you had always found comfort in being at the beach, often spending hours just watching the waves lap against the shore. but unbeknowst to you – something had been watching you back.

You inhale deeply, enjoying the salty smell that so uniquely belongs to the ocean. The last rays of sun are slowly disappearing behind the horizon, painting the skies and the waves in hues of deep pink and purple. You’re going to miss this view.

You sigh, running your fingers through the coarse sand as you let the gentle breeze caress your face. You’ve been looking forward to this for years, but now that your departure is so imminent, it feels more scary than liberating. The time has come to finally leave your home behind, and you feel a pang of regret as you realize you might not see your friends or family for a very long time to come.

Years of saving up your measly paychecks have finally paid off, and you’re setting sail for an island you’ve been hearing constant murmurs about for the last few months. Originally, you were only going to travel to the next kingdom over, hoping to find more suitable work there to help your parents stay afloat. But the talk of the mystery island abundant with riches piped your interest more than you would like to admit – and you’ve never been one to shy away from adventure.

However, you weren’t stupid enough to just blindly trust the rumours milling around your little town. In fact, you wholeheartedly believed it to be a scam until a familiar face suddenly turned up in the town square only a few weeks ago.

You hadn’t seen Jimin ever since he set sail for the unknown six months ago; and so everyone, including yourself, had presumed that your talkative neighbour had met an ill fate, and was floating at the bottom of the sea. You realized you couldn’t have been more wrong when Jimin returned with riches you never expected you would ever lay eyes on, his whole body adorned with various diamonds and gold chains.

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