It's Stupid How TK's Brain Is Refusing To Cooperate For Now. He Used To Pride Himself On His Ability

It's stupid how TK's brain is refusing to cooperate for now. He used to pride himself on his ability to compartmentalize and stay calm in times of stress and danger. It's not just the training, but the experience as well. After years of being in the field, the overexposure allows for his brain to normalize the situation and look at things in a logical manner; to be able to perform under pressure.

Nothing, though, could've prepared him for this.

"Stay awake. Come on, baby. Look at me. Carlos, look at me." He's rambling, begging, and God.. how he wishes he could comfort Carlos the way he really wants to. Caress his face or run his fingers through those curls. Hold his hand. "I love you, too. And I'm going to remind you every day, Carlos. Today's not the end. Don't you dare close your eyes." The pressure he's applying to the wound increases a little as TK moves to lean forward, trying to catch Carlos' gaze whenever his eyes flutter open again. Until they don't.

Tommy and Nancy are here now, and in a haze TK follows their orders as they turn Carlos on one side to both check for an exit wound (there isn't one) and to shove the backboard underneath him. It's both the longest and slowest minute of TK's life as they lift Carlos onto the stretcher and prepare him for transfer.

The drive to the hospital feels the same. With Nancy behind the wheel, both Tommy and TK are tending to Carlos. They get an IV going (or Tommy does, because TK's hands wouldn't stop shaking), clean and bandage the wound as best as they could, and keep monitoring the vital signs. It's not until after Tommy gives him this look, followed by a nod, that TK takes off his bloodied gloves and finally, finally takes Carlos' hand in his.

HE FELT EVERYTHING BUT FINE. HE KNEW BY THE WAY HIS sight was blurry and he was starting to feel dizzy that nothing was okay , that he was about to pass out , but he was trying to hold on. he couldn‘t make TK worry more , not after what they had been through and with a weak squeeze of his boyfriends hand , he tried to make sure he was doing okay a forced smile on his lips as his dark chocolate hues moved up , trying to find his boyfriends green ones. „ TK..'s fine.. j..don‘t “ , he whispered quietly as eyes fluttered shut and he whimpered in pain.

he had to fight. he had to try keep his eyes open , he owned that much to his boyfriend and his eyes opened again , trying to keep it that way , but it was hard. the darkness was such a welcoming place to be , because there was no pain , just peace. or at least it felt like that. „ l..love you , TK.. “ , the words coming over his lips were barley even more than a whisper and he was trying to fight against his body giving up , but with every passing second it was getting harder and harder to do. and then he just couldn‘t fight any longer.

he passed out just seconds after he told the words and he meant it. he meant it all. his whole heart and his whole life belonged to TK and he knew he wasn‘t going to love anyone else as much as he loved TK. there would never be another man in his life , even if this meant goodbye , he needed to make sure that TK knew he loved him. that his last words weren‘t something he‘d regret or hateful. he passed out completely , his body not moving and his face was pale due to the blood loss.

Tags

fiercehearts tw // injury tw blood