Ben: Dont Tell Me To Calm Down Ill Throw A Desk At Your Face

Ben: don’t tell me to calm down I’ll throw a desk at your face

Me, literally anywhere except on my devices: I have about 4729 different ideas for my fanfiction

Me, sitting down at my keyboard:

Bryce: *learns that Hannah committed suicide*

Bryce: This is so sad, Alexa, play despacito

Tory: *thinks about responsibilities*

Tory: *shrugs*

Tory: *commits felonies*

Random Virals Headcanons

One time Ben called Hi “Bye” for a week when he was annoyed at him. The only reason he stopped was because Hi found N’SYNC’s song Bye Bye Bye and played it nonstop for the next hour

Hi says “Jesus Christ” a lot

Actually he’s just constantly forgetting he’s supposed to be Jewish in general

Shelton is the tech L O R D but Tory owns his ass in video games

She just owns them in general honestly

One time when teasing Tory and Ben about their future kids Hi said, “Yeah, and me and Shelton will be their gay uncles!” and nobody mentioned it at the time but Shelton couldn’t stop thinking about it for weeks

I really feel as though Shelton is on the aro/ace spectrum omg does anyone else get demiromantic vibes?

Whitney cornered Ben about Tory once and she called Tory her daughter by accident

When Ben mentioned it in passing to Tory she was super embarrassed

(He was actually really scared)

But during that conversation Whitney learned Ben’s favorite food

Which Tory didn’t know at the time

So she was really insistent that Tory learn the recipe

And they cooked together and then she’s like “oh there’s too much why don’t you take some over to that boyfriend of yours?”

Whitney is not dumb don’t even think for a minute she is

Ben jokingly asks Tory to marry him

Hi has proposed to Tory more than once and one time she said yes and Ben just threw something at the two of them

(her apology to Ben was a really hot make out session after until she mentioned Hi which was n o t a good move)

Madison has a secret Tumblr that nobody knows about and she and Tory are mutuals

One time she posts a super artsy picture of Tory from the back and Tory recognizes it

Madison 200% is a good photographer I mean she was part of the Tri-Pod (get it that was a really bad pun)

There’s no mention of it after but for Madison’s birthday Tory and Ella pitch in to get her a digital camera

(because Ella and Madison eventually become friends honestly Tory needs all the girlfriends she can get)

Jason is bisexual

Morris Island is pretty much only accessible by boat which is super inconvenient but also leads to a hell of a lot of texting

But also if Tory hangs out with Ella or Madison after school it morphs into a sleepover

One time she forgets to remind Kit though and he calls her but she left her phone like downstairs or something and doesn’t pick up

He goes to Ben like ??? is she here???

Ben’s like “what no it’s a sleepover”

Super awkward exchange honestly

Like Kit is like oh right I forgot

(wait why did I think she’d be sleeping over at Ben’s house what was I thinking OH MY GOD WHAT IF SOMEDAY SHE SAYS SHE’S GOING TO ELLA’S BUT SPENDS THE NIGHT WITH BEN)

Awkward father 11/10

After that he resolves that it’s a better idea to check with Hi or Shelton

Remember how in Code they mention that there’s like 6 Tumblrs devoted to the trial with the Gamemaster?

Well Tory follows all of them and one of them starts shipping her and Ben and she just sends in an anonymous ask like why? and gets like an MLA formatted 10 source 15 paragraph research paper

(not actually but it’s a super long list of reasons)

She sees one of them that she hadn’t considered and the next time she meets Ben she becomes hyper aware it’s super awkward and then she finally tells him

(another hot make out session until she mentions that the Tumblr account would love to see it and b a m bad move Tory is the queen of killing the moment)

One time the Trinity and the pack are talking and Will says something and Shelton just is like, “Will Speckman, what the heck, man?” and that becomes a meme

M E M E S

Hi is the king of memes

He is the meme lord

He threatens to wear a dat boi costume to some event

Just honestly man what a dude

Ben is secretly a Buzzfeed addict

Like you know that thing where it’s like “What are you looking at?” “[taking a Buzzfeed quiz to find out what candle I am] Porn.”

That’s him

Conspiracy t h e o r i e s

Nobody knows about their new flaring abilities which is really annoying

But at the same time it leaves a lotta room for headcanon

Like I’ve headcanoned them before but I will again it’s most certainly not Terminal but it makes things weird

Because they’re trying to make sure they don’t get bloodwork or anything

ANYWAY super fast forward to years in the future

And they can’t go see doctors for normal problems

They get used to it but like

P r e g n a n c y

But because of this I feel like Shelton would totes go through med school

‘Cause you know our man is way smart and can do it

Like can you imagine going to the doctor

“Shelton I think she’s in labor” “It’s Braxton-Hicks go away I’m busy Ben”

Anyway Kit texts his daughter, y’know,  a reasonable amount

Hi decides to teach him some abbreviations

Except he teaches him them wrong

Like he tells Kit that “smh” stands for “so much hate” and not “shaking my head”

Kit uses one for the first time and Tory replies with something like “no dad that’s wrong smh”

“Smh? You hate me?”

“Who taught you text speak???”

He never trusts Hi again

The guys have a group chat without Tory and it’s all well and good but they name it weird things

One day Tory is sending herself a message from Ben’s phone and she accidentally exits and she’s like ??? why is there a chat labelled “Ben can’t satisfy in bed” and why did the name just change to “Ben can’t even get a girl to bed” and why is the most recent message “lol true”?

She tentatively opens it up and when she does the next message pops up “Maybe that’s why Tory’s so grumpy all the time”

She never tells Ben she read it but she makes an off-hand remark and Shelton just turns to her, aghast, and is like “Please say you didn’t read all of the messages.”

She’s like what the hell have they talked about on there?

The entire group chat is just guys being dudes

But the part Shelton doesn’t want her to read is where he said he kind of wanted to be a gynecologist and 2 hours later he still hadn’t heard the end of it

HI/BEN/SHELTON GROUP CHAT SOMEONE WRITE A FIC ON THAT

I would kill for that honestly

This list is so long I hate you Kathy and Brendan Reichs for leaving so much out of the books

But hOnEsTlY give me a sequel or give me death

Hannah: hey guys have you seen Clay?

Clay, face down on the floor: present