Fanlou18-blog - Fanlou18 - Tumblr Blog

I just discovered I am a cat

That poor dude 😭

Hitting on women at the beach... 

So, I went to the beach to try to pick up girls. I didn't have any luck and ended up wandering into a surf shop. I talked to the guy there and told him about my dilemma.

He told me that the women on the beach are shallow, and I should buy a Speedo swimsuit and go out to the snack stand, buy a giant pickle on a stick and place it down my shorts. Then I could get women's attention. I was on my own after that. If they could see the bulge, at least they would be interested.

So, I did exactly what he said, but every time I approached women and made sure they saw the bulge in my swimsuit, they would say "Ewww... Gross!" Or "Get out of here!" or just leave. It was worse than before.

After an hour or so of getting rejected, I went back to the surf shop.

The guy who gave me the advice said "Dude. The pickle goes in FRONT."

Wtf is even going on here

Please don't romanticize a healthy parent-child relationship bruh

Actually shitting myself rn

Once more for those in the back.

older lotr illustrations sometimes depict éowyn wearing ridiculously small armour. apart from the problem general sexualisation of the only female character (who really does anything), there’s another hilarious thought:

éowyn pretended to be dernhelm, a man. to fit in, she must have worn men’s armor. so the armor in the illustrations is normal for rohirrim.

therefore, all the rohirrim rode to war just like that:

You are kidnapped by time travelers who explain that you were the key person affecting their history, and this is their one chance to fix things. As the doors open to their time, you see them all gasp. “Nothing has changed,” they say. “Yeah,” you say, “You probably wanted my twin brother.”

Thank you

Hi. I've been seeing a lot of people thinking that heteroromantic asexuals aren't LGBTQ+, and as a heterom ace myself, it's really been putting me down. What are your thoughts on the notion that heterom aces aren't LGBTQ+?

But heterom aces are LGBTQ+. The LGBTQ+ community is a place for individuals who are not heterosexual and/or cisgender. Aces lack sexual attraction; meaning that they are not heterosexual, and that makes them a part of the community. Then there are people who like to keep aces out because ‘aces have never been oppressed’. Though I do not agree that one’s sexuality or gender orientation needs to have been oppressed first in order to belong to the LGBTQ+ community, the notion that aces are not oppressed is false. 

Their oppression consists of quiet suffering and is especially prevalent in cultures where women and men are expected to have children or to have sex on a regular basis. Imagine an arranged marriage where an asexual woman is expected to have sex with her husband. If she doesn’t, it could ruin the marriage and the reputation of her entire family. She might feel pleasure during sex, but her lack of sexual attraction has formed her values and beliefs over the years. She might absolutely not want to have sex but does it secretly against her will as she doesn’t speak out about it. So aces have always been oppressed. Not necessarily through blatant hatred (though they are now by some members of the LGBTQ+ community) but through societal construct. 

You write that you are heteroromantic, not heterosexual. Your preference to be with someone who doesn’t share your gender is not derived from sexual attraction, and that can be hard to understand for some people because ‘Why else would they be in this type of relationship with someone if it is not based on sexual attraction? Why do they specifically say there are heterom ace if they could also be in a homoromantic ace relationship? I mean, there is no sexual preference, right?’ Well, society is pretty much heteronormative so one thought is that you might be unconsciously biased towards it. And besides, there is nothing wrong with having romantic feelings for someone. This doesn’t make you heterosexual all of a sudden.

In my opinion, you are a part of the LGBTQ+ community. There are always going to be people who disagree, derive a feeling of importance or pleasure by keeping people out of the community, and some even do it because they are simply toxic. Don’t listen to them. No one has ever appointed those random Tumblr users to be the gatekeepers of the LGBTQ+ community (neither am I a gatekeeper of the LGBTQ+ community). But if you don’t feel welcome, you can always join the Pride Knights. Gareth and I do gatekeep our community in order to keep it strong and healthy and we, together with thousands of other Pride Knights, welcome aces and heterom aces with open arms. I hope to see you soon and stay proud!

~ Roderick

Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day

Push a man out of a plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

There was a farmer who had three daughters

All of his 3 daughters were going on their first dates that same evening. Being protective of them, he decided to meet their suitors at the front door with his gun.

So the first suitor arrived and told the farmer: “Hi I’m Joe, I’m here for Flo, we’re going to the show, is she ready to go?” The farmer thought this was ok, and they went on their way.

The second suitor arrived and the farmer answered the door: “Hi my name’s Eddy, I’m here for Betty, we’re gonna get some spaghetti, is she ready?” The farmer thought this one was ok too, so off the two kids went.

The third suitor arrived shortly after: “Hi my name’s Chuck” and the farmer shot him.

A man who’d just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit...

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man looks good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue and that she wants him in a blue suit.

She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, ‘I don’t care what it costs, but have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.’

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...

She says to the mortician, ‘Whatever this cost, I’m very satisfied... You did an excellent job and I’m very grateful. How much did you spend?’

To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check. ‘There’s no charge,’ she says.

‘No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!’ she says.

‘Honestly,’ the blonde says, ‘it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.’

‘So I just switched the heads.

How can you tell the difference between a nerd and someone with a BDSM fetish?

Ask them what a dungeon master is

In the 41st millennium, when the only thing preventing the demise of humanity against hostile forces is the Imperium of Man, there exists a secret, nearly forgotten department: the Imperium Anomaliae, also known as the SCP Foundation.

Bartenders only serve drinks as a side job. Their real profession? Hunting down every bastard named Bart. You are now the last Bart alive, and they will stop at nothing until you’re dead.

It soon became clear that the old house was haunted. That wasn’t the strange part. Instead of the usual cold spots the house was always cozy despite the broken furnace. One day you even woke up to fresh cookies you definitely had no memory of baking. It was time to pull out the Quija board.

LETS SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL

Click on it twice. These are your two super powers.

Meow

Your daily dose of cat memes

2 ninjas in the desert, clapping hands while making their ninja pose