Semiramis: Welcome To The Red Faction Meeting. Here, We Shall Discuss Plans, Voice Complaints, And Explain

Semiramis: Welcome to the red faction meeting. Here, we shall discuss plans, voice complaints, and explain our wishes. Who’s first?

Shakespeare: Yes I have a complaint!

Semiramis: Now I’m going to stop you there. Faction members who actually do something are permitted to complain.

Amakusa: No, let’s not be mean. Go on caster.

Shakespeare: Being a playwright, you’re constantly looking for inspiration and exciting things to write about. Well the other day, I happened to be carrying a rather large ensemble of books. I noticed rider over my shoulder, walking the same way I was, so I asked him for assistance. He stared me directly in the eyes, and mind my assumed French ‘Ok Boomer’ before he walked ahead to bother archer.

Teary eyed Achilles: I’m not apologizing, it was great!

Amakusa:....So, caster what are you asking for?!

Shakespeare: RESPECT?!

Atalanta:.......Ok Boomer

Achilles: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Got em!

Semiramis: Truly a life more tragic than his plays.

Amakusa: ....Agreed.

Fergus: That’s it dude, you are about to get it!

Setanta: Wait wait wait a-WAIT!

Fergus: What?!

Setanta: I’m baby.

Fergus, about to throw a punch: The fuck does that even—

Scathach: Hey, stop! Wait, you can’t do that.

Fergus: WHAT?

Scathach: He’s baby! You can’t...you can’t just do that!

Setanta, sticking his tongue out: *Makes a fart noise with his mouth.*

Fergus: You fockin—

Scathach: Yeah, well he’s baby, SO-

Mori: I got called a murderer at the cafe.

Nobu: What happened?

Mori: Ootono, I got called a murderer a-

Nobu: Yeah I get that, but why?

Mori: Oh! Because I murdered a guy in the cafeteria.

Nobu: Okay, what did you do next?

Mori: Ordinarily, everyone else would have died as well, but I remembered that ‘self restraint’ thing you were talking about before. So, I didn’t do it. Instead, I cleaned up.

Nobu: The mess? The body?

Mori: MY CLOTHES! Ootono, you’ve gotta pay attention to the story! So I left to go get cleaned up, leaving the guy on the floor. Everyone started screaming for some reason as I ran down the hall, covered in blood. And then it hit me!

Nobu: Oh god no. What did you realize?

Mori: They probably thought it was my blood. So I reassured them, and they only started screaming more. Some started running away. And so, that’s how I ended up in your room.

Nobu: Still not cleaned up.

Mori: Still not cleaned up.

Nobu:......Just another Friday.

Scathach: Do you have any idea why I stopped you all?

Lancer Cu, on a motorcycle: Nope.

Berserker Cu: ....

Proto Cu: Beats me.

Scatchach: There’s 3 Of you riding that tiny motorcycle, and not a single one of you see a problem?

Lancer: Jokes on you shishou, there’s 4 of us.

Scatchach: There’s 3 of you idiots.

Lancer: Ther-

Berserker: Caster fell off 10 minutes ago.

Proto Cu: Why didn’t you say anything?!

Berserker: Because I’m not exactly hating the leg room.

This warms my heart so much.

IT’S SO WHOLESOME

Cú: Shishou, when we yawn, do deaf people think we’re screaming?

Scathach: …What?

Cú: If you’re waiting on your waiter, doesn’t that make you the waiter?

Scathach: You skipped training for this

Cú: How do you throw away a garbage can?

Scathach: STOP!

Cú: Why is it called taking a dump when you’re leaving it behind?

Scathach: …

Cú: …

Scathach: Done?

Cú: Aye.

Scathach: You’ve got a 5 second head start.