Look At Our Ass Biscuits

look at our ass biscuits

On Columbus Day

In school I was taught the names Columbus, Cortez, and Pizzarro and A dozen other filthy murderers. A bloodline all the way to General Miles, Daniel Boone and General Eisenhower. No one mentioned the names Of even a few of the victims. But don’t you remember Chaske, whose spine Was crushed so quickly by Mr. Pizzaro’s boot? What words did he cry into the dust? What was the familiar name Of that young girl who danced so gracefully That everyone in the village sang with her– Before Cortez’ sword hacked off her arms As she protested the burning of her sweetheart? That young man’s name was Many Deeds, And he had been a leader of a band of fighters Called the Redstick Hummingbirds, who slowed The march of Cortez’ army with only a few Spears and stones which now lay still In the mountains and remember. Greenrock Woman was the name Of that old lady who walked right up And spat in Columbus’ face. We must remember that, and remember Laughing Otter the Taino who tried to stop Columbus and who was taken away as a slave. We never saw him again. In school I learned of heroic discoveries Made by liars and crooks. The courage Of millions of sweet and true people Was not commemorated. Let us then declare a holiday For ourselves, and make a parade that begins With Columbus’ victims and continues Even to our grandchildren who will be named in their honor. Because isn’t it true that even the summer Grass here in this land whispers those names, And every creek has accepted the responsibility Of singing those names? And nothing can stop The wind from howling those names around The corners of the school. Why else would the birds sing So much sweeter here than in other lands? – Columbus Day, by Jimmie Durham (Cherokee) (West End Press, 1983)

This is the most awesome thing I've seen in ages.

I'll just add that some scholars of the French and British Enlightenment theorize that empathy among educated elites for people of lower classes was actually created on a mass scale for the first time because of novels.

For the first time, people from more privileged positions in those societies were experiencing stories from the points of view of poorer, female main characters (such as the title character of "Pamela"). Identifying with those characters and seeing them as people. Undergoing hardships with them and so feeling their pain and the injustices of their situations. Reading novels was a novel (pardon the pun) way of shifting paradigms that went way beyond the impact of moralizing tracts or histories. Pretty powerful and dangerous stuff.

how is it possible to love fictional characters this much and also have people always been this way?

like, did queen elizabeth lie in bed late sometimes thinking ‘VERILY I CANNOT EVEN FOR MERCUTIO HATH SLAIN ME WITH FEELS’ 

was caesar like ‘ET TU ODYSSEUS’ 

sometimes i wonder

This. So excited. How often have readers had the opportunity to see both readers and author made to engage with the strong gender scripts underlying an incredibly popular work, made explicit and challenged by a gender-swap? Has it ever 'officially' happened before?

i know everyone and their grandmother is taking potshots at the new twilight novel but honest to god i have so many questions, so many things i needed to know in the agonizing hours occupying the space between “knew this thing exists” and “got my filthy, goblin hands on a copy,” and my first and most pressing being what are we going to do now that jacob black doesn’t have a knot? how does renesmee work in this universe – does she exist in this universe? would she have existed? if edward is the one who is against having the baby, would edythe have carried it given the reverse situation? would edward’s body – unable to change, age, or grow, even conceive a child? would there be a vampire abortion? would there, in this universe, have to be some kind of fanfic-style cis-dude mpreg for beaufort slash bella swan to fulfill her destiny of being a zombie vampire babychild incubation machine? and like, in a universe where the dynamics of half of the familial and romantic relationships are predicated on gender roles learned and assigned in like, the mid 19th and 20th fucking centuries, how does rosalie’s storyline even work? she was only a vampire because of a) her relative class status b) the existence and enactment of gender-based violence in the depression era,  jasper was only a vampire because he was an active confederate soldier in texas during the southern vampire wars, would alice’s institutionalization and torture have even happened if she’d been a man? would carlisle have been a doctor? is edythe going to take the role of stalker slash protector without the hovering obligation of antiquated gender roles? how does leah’s struggle with the hypermasculinity assigned to her as a werewolf play out if she’s like, a dude, how does the whole lowkey racist narrative about quileute men being unable to control their violent, animalistic impulses because they’re native ameri– excuse me, werewolves, play out if all of them are women. i have been sending frantic, screaming voice memos about this to several people tonight and my only regret is that this was the way you all had to find out that not only did i read twilight but i am heavily emotionally invested in the consistency of the twilight universe’s internal logic buT LIKE FOR REAL IS THERE GOING TO BE MPREG IN THIS? IS BEAUFORT (BEAUFORT!!!) SWAN GONNA HAVE A BABY. WHAT HORRIFYING PORTMANTEAU IS RENESMEE GONNA SUFFER THROUGH THIS TIME

Tumblr: I have a million asks about whether or not I’ll be going on tour for the Raven King next spring, and if I’ll be going to x city or y state. 

I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: how extensively Scholastic tours me for the series has to do with how profitable a tour/ the series will be. I don’t pay for tours. Scholastic does. Most authors don’t get to tour; the privilege of having your butt sent on the road is hard-won. Tour costs add up fast, even for someone who travels lean as I do — avocados eaten in the front seat of my own car sitting outside of an airbnb shack I’ve rented in lieu of a hotel.  As an author, seeing my readers — whether or not they’ve bought the latest book — is nice: it feels like a way to reward literary devotion. For a publisher? A tour is not a reward. They cannot afford rewards. They can afford business decisions. 

The TRC fandom here has grown hugely in the last year: my sales numbers haven’t. The tags are full of pirate copies. I’m tagged in posts with pirate copies. Guess what publishers look at when they make decisions? Not favs on Tumblr.

I make a buck or so off each copy sold. Scholastic uses the rest to run a company. And send me on tour. There’s a difference between selling enough books for me to pay my mortgage and selling enough books to make it profitable to send me on tour. I should bold that. I am going to bold that. Because I’m not trying to tell you that the future of the series is in your hands, buy! buy! buy! I’m only telling the readers who ask to see my face in Arizona, Boston, California, Minnesota, Maine, Florida, etc etc etc, that if you want this series to be huge enough for me to tour, you’ve gotta pay for your books. Because I run on whatever money comes to me and the joy of readers’ delight. Publishers run on numbers.  

Every week I get Google alerts of new sites that are offering illegal free downloads of my books. How nice of Google to alert me where I can find them.

If you ever hope or dream that you might be a professional author or artist you should care a great deal about this problem.

No money to buy books? Free copies available at your public library.

I tried using a service to take the links down; it was impossible. It was like a future where people decided it was okay to steal forks from restaurants; too many people, too many links, too many unwatched corners. Imagine trying to stop people from stealing forks. Would you have to establish a system to watch people as they ate? No. It’s easier to assume that people generally understand that if lots of people took cutlery from Denny’s, Denny’s would have to raise their prices or otherwise adapt for the loss. The process runs on ethics, not policing. A developed society runs on ethics, not policing. On people choosing to consider consequences and empathy rather than being forced to act in a way that protects others. 

That’s what I ask of readers. To recall, simply, that just because it’s easy to put the fork in your backpack — just because you need a fork at home — doesn’t mean there are no consequences. 

I hate to be the person who adds unnecessary commentary to posts that aren’t mine, but I’m going to anyway. If you have a library card (in the US, at least, not sure about the rest of the world), even if you don’t have ready access to a physical library and/or have a very low threshold for delayed gratification like mine, there’s a service called Overdrive that most library systems subscribe to, that you can instantly borrow ebooks from just about any device with an internet connection. I know for a fact that at least 2 of my 4 libraries (yes I have four different library cards, leave me alone) have all three of the Raven Cycle books as ebooks. You check the book out, read it, and when your rental runs out, the book just goes away, and you don’t have to do anything. No overdue fees, once in a while you might have to contend with placing holds and waiting for a week or two, but it’s good for you, gives you something to live for. 

It’s perfectly legal and all of these public libraries have rights to the books they have, and you don’t have to pay a dime. So yeah, please give Overdrive a shot instead of being mean to authors. This is an important thing. 

except this commentary is good because yes, do that.

I have lots and lots of thoughts about ethics in capitalism, the right to ownership and the history of books as luxury items; but when there are services like Overdrive, it’s crucial to use them not only for your own satisfaction but also because these services are still seen as controversial, experimental and always, always on the chopping block. It doesn’t matter how beloved or popular or potentially useful something is (just look at PBS); budgets are cold, ruthless and based entirely on statistics and figures of real-time use. Otherwise, these need-based accessibility features go away.

For those who prefer to handle a physical copy, Worldcat can provide a list of library locations where your book is available; libraries may be able to provide inter/intra-state or international library loan services. (For those who want to hone up on their Welsh before tackling The Raven Cycle.)

Additionally, Open Library is supported by the non-profit Internet Archive; it’s an incredible resource that meets readers who may not have access to local libraries, but do have internet access and shares data directly with the library community. (Note, this is an open community collaboration project that works closely with libraries but is not directly affiliated with any unique library system.)

congratulations to Minerva McGonagall on her pending retirement today, who is going to look down at her list of first years and see “James Sirius Potter” and just call it a fucking day