I Think A Lot Of The Conversations (in Fandom, Or Otherwise) On Who Gets To Be A Good Victim As Opposed

i think a lot of the conversations (in fandom, or otherwise) on who gets to be a ‘good’ victim as opposed to a ‘bad’ victim fail at one point: the assumption that there is a way to be a ‘good victim’, when in truth, it’s a catch 22 situation, damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

this is not about additional structural privileges or disadvantages that influence the experience and how people will react to you. if you are white, a lot more will be tolerated and kinder assumptions will be made. if you have money, this will guard and palliate a lot of the consequences. and so on. there are also certain consequences like psychosis or drug abuse that will get you discriminated against specifically, for that. all of that is real.

but for instance fighting back vs. passive submission, anger vs. obedience to the abusers or to their teachings, (re-)embracing of sexuality however messily vs. avoidance of sexuality/inabilty to be sexual, staying-with-the-abuser vs. messy-escape, going-on-with-life-quickly vs. being severely incapacitated,  seeking professional help or not, (i could go on), for all of these i think it is very misguided to say that there is a way to “win” this game.

and yet it’s an argument i keep seeing made in both directions. “a is considered a good victim because they fight back and manage to rise above (how unfair)”, “b is considered a good victim because they don’t fight back and endure (how unfair)“. reconsider these! every reaction can and will be twisted to use against the victim.

there are here always three options: a) it wasn’t that bad b) your suffering is your fault c) this is unrealistic-i don’t believe it. usually, these same three logics will get applied to the same person, in a moving-the-goalpost kind of game. it is also usually the case that a person gets accused of “both”, so, of being too passive and too angry, of being too broken and too competent, and so on. in this way, there is in fact no such thing as a “good victim privilege” that is actually about how the victim reacted & acted (and not about other structural privileges, like whiteness or ability).

I am the shape you made me. filth teaches filth.

the way shiv and tom both mirror the language of the roy men in order to seem more masculine… the way shiv feminizes roman in an attempt to distance herself from femininity and the way roman will immediately flip it back on her in a sexualizing manner- in a way that says YOU are the woman and YOU are the object (because he views himself as an object for using- why wouldnt his twin be in the same boat) the way tom feminizes himself because he does see shiv as the masculine figure in their relationship because thats where she has placed herself in order to keep herself safe and the way she gets uncomfortable when tom does fall into the roles shes laid out for them both because seeing tom as feminine is seeing him as weak and she doesnt have time for weak men because shes trying to hard to be a Big Strong Man in a world that sees her as a woman as a sex object as something to keep under the real mens thumb 

What’s this? Shiv Roy goes soulful. Does not suit you. It’s like you’re wearing a turtleneck and a stick-on mustache.

SUCCESSION | Which Side Are you On? | 1.06

You asked to be put in that cage.

annabeth chase being played by a black girl is so important. little black girls will finally be able to see that THEY can be heroes too, they can be smart and brave, and they can be whatever they want to be