Thank You For This Post - Tumblr Posts
Yet another thing I don't see talked about in the DID community: the host anxiety of letting go of front.
Obviously it doesn't happen to every system, as some systems don't even have a host; but can we talk about the fear and anxiety about potentially never coming back to front if you fully let go, as a host? I dealt with it for a year and a half until I was able to actually start letting go and sitting off front for long periods of time. But there were times when 5 minutes off front fully caused me panic attacks.
This fear especially comes when you are a baby (newly discovered) system. This feeling that you built a life for yourself, and suddenly, you feel like you'll lose it to other people. And it's not that you want it all for yourself, but losing it entirely is what's scary. And there is usually a whole inner world behind you... who knows what happens inside of it, what it can do, who lives there? As well as, it's scary to let go of control of events IRL. Who knows how others would handle it, even if you know them well already?
And that's just our reasons.
Moral of the story: y'all are not alone, and it gets better.
-host
happy magnus archives 2 to chaos grandpas who have ever threatened to throw an office worker off a rollercoaster, podcasters unable to feel fear, goths who suck at dyeing their own hair, old ladies who are also stone cold bitches, astronauts having a crisis about how big the universe is, fire messiahs who just want one large black coffee with room for cream, dudes who just learn to live with the spooky coffin that was deposited into their home, book collecting dust eating old rat bastard avatars of the whore, cops who watched their partner walk down stone stairs that shouldn’t exist, big guys with three hearts, women who lock themselves in a research station with an impossible dark sun, and tragic lovers whose story might not be over
date a boy who doesn’t shame you for your depression room, and tells you he is proud of you when you clean it
so the thing about xiaobao's bones hurting more on rainy and cold days is TRUE. in chinese traditional medicine (which i am by no means an expert in so excuse any mistakes please) the four states must be in balance. (cold/warm, wet/dry).
the thing about arthritis being worse on cold and damp days is true but it has more to do with barometric pressure than anything else. if the pressure is low (which it often is on colder/rainy days) arthritis (or any joint, osteo pain) can be worse.
people often think of joint/arthritis pain as 'achy' and that is true. on the good days. on the bad days (which often have to do with the barometric pressure) my whole body feels like it's on fire. the pain is sharp and stabbing. It won't kill me. but it makes life much harder than it needs to be
i think a lot of the conversations (in fandom, or otherwise) on who gets to be a ‘good’ victim as opposed to a ‘bad’ victim fail at one point: the assumption that there is a way to be a ‘good victim’, when in truth, it’s a catch 22 situation, damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
this is not about additional structural privileges or disadvantages that influence the experience and how people will react to you. if you are white, a lot more will be tolerated and kinder assumptions will be made. if you have money, this will guard and palliate a lot of the consequences. and so on. there are also certain consequences like psychosis or drug abuse that will get you discriminated against specifically, for that. all of that is real.
but for instance fighting back vs. passive submission, anger vs. obedience to the abusers or to their teachings, (re-)embracing of sexuality however messily vs. avoidance of sexuality/inabilty to be sexual, staying-with-the-abuser vs. messy-escape, going-on-with-life-quickly vs. being severely incapacitated, seeking professional help or not, (i could go on), for all of these i think it is very misguided to say that there is a way to “win” this game.
and yet it’s an argument i keep seeing made in both directions. “a is considered a good victim because they fight back and manage to rise above (how unfair)”, “b is considered a good victim because they don’t fight back and endure (how unfair)“. reconsider these! every reaction can and will be twisted to use against the victim.
there are here always three options: a) it wasn’t that bad b) your suffering is your fault c) this is unrealistic-i don’t believe it. usually, these same three logics will get applied to the same person, in a moving-the-goalpost kind of game. it is also usually the case that a person gets accused of “both”, so, of being too passive and too angry, of being too broken and too competent, and so on. in this way, there is in fact no such thing as a “good victim privilege” that is actually about how the victim reacted & acted (and not about other structural privileges, like whiteness or ability).
Some more easy comment ideas to leave on your favorite fics:
1. LETS GOOOOOO!!! (after a particularly exciting chapter)
2. Ohmygosh yes!!! You get it!!! This is exactly how I imagine this [character, dynamic, scene, au, ect]
3. Noooooooo 🥺🥺🥺🥺 (after a particularly devastating chapter)
4. Heck Yeah!!
5. My children! You hurt them! How dare!
6. You have blessed us! May both sides of your pillow stay cool! (Or any other blessing of your choice)
7. Thank you!
8. It even [surprised, shocked, broke my heart] on the reread! Excellent work!! (Only if this a reread)
9. I wish I could leave a longer comment, this fic deserves one! Bravo!
10. 10/10 would let break my heart again
we’ve all heard of twink death to dilf birth but i raise you dilf death to twink birth
idk if it’s the asexuality or just personal preference but conventional attractiveness is like the least interesting and noticeable thing about a person. “this man is hot” i literally don’t care i want his eyes to sparkle with the soul of a well-lived life and laughter lines that trace his face like guidelines on a sketch. also i want him to be a fucked up little gremlin.
Alignment chart except it's only the Tenth Doctor
Valentine's Day would be less obnoxious if the rest of the year wasn't smotheringly centered around couples too
I seen you share this post and I know you're comfortable writing these things, so I was wondering if we could have little snippets or maybe a fic elaborating on when you wrote about Dew punching someone for fat shaming Aether? Thanks!! https://www.tumblr.com/skele-bunny/759611991374643200?source=share
Word! Also you're right wjsjdj I don't mind writing these things at all. I'm perfectly fine with getting requests to tackle heavier topics 💪 context: this post by @mutt-sys
CW - FATPHOBIA, RACISM, PARENTAL DISCRIMINATION, ABLEISM, VICTIM BLAMING, TRANSPHOBIA, ACEPHOBIA
Cowbell has experienced acephobia before. Ghouls are sexual driven creatures, there's no way a ghoul is asexual! She's had to deal with crude remarks, "You just haven't met the right person!" // "It's just a phase you'll grow out of." , which also meant unwanted advances. Sometimes it gets to the point she thinks she's broken. That something really is wrong with him.
A multitude of both ghouls and siblings have had to work around ableism. Zephyr simply being denied into places like the bathhouse, outings with their pack as they simple didn't have wheelchair accessibility. Delta being denied accessibility services because he wasn't "blind enough." Pebble fighting for MONTHS to get his hearing aids. Phantom not being accommodated as "We've seen autistic people before. You don't act like that." or just "You? I would've never guessed! You don't look autistic!"
And yeah! Just like in that little hc post, Aether, Cumulus, Omega, Alpha, Ifrit, basically any bigger ghoul has absolutely received fatphobia on a daily basis wether it's subtle or outright. Getting grimaces, especially if they work in the hospital. Bc they're deemed "unhealthy" so why should they work in a "healthy" setting? Omega getting an annoyed sighs from the wardrobe siblings "Guess we need another size up..." Cumulus being deemed unattractive because of her weight, her height, basically anything about her was unattractive. Unlovable.
Even Terzo faced discrimination. Constantly misgendered and deadnamed even after being publicly out, always feeling his face warm up and heart stop as he's deadnamed in front of someone who only knew him as Terzo. But forced to bare it and grin as if he even tries standing up for himself he's "Sensitive" or "Over reacting" and given just annoyed sighs and eye rolls. Sunshine and Cirrus getting scoffed at and slurs thrown at them for entering women's sections of say the bathhouse or changing room at the gym. Constantly being reported (that doesn't go anywhere) but passively aggressively suggested to use the gender neutral rooms instead, which just makes them more upset.
Mist experiencing discrimination with her kits! One of them starts fussing and annoyed whispers of "I wish there were child free places"//"Does that baby have to be here?"//"Great, just what I wanted. A screaming kit." At first he was able to stand up for himself and curse them out but after so many times... It's hard to not let it get to you. Just softly crying and getting frustrated at not only himself but her kits :/. Unable to go back to work as they don't want someone "wrapped up with kits who's unreliable."
(Based on my own and my partners experiences.*)
Ghouls facing issues as they're learning a new language, just broken and choppy but doing their best to try and communicate. Always gets those fake smiles as they turn to a ghoul that been around longer "Could you translate for them?" Or even speaking to them like a child. "What is YOURRR naammee?" Just outright ignored if they try to get someone's attention bc that person doesn't want to 'struggle' with trying to understand even tho they're not even attempting.
Swiss having to learn to do his own hair and more styles as the stylists didn't know how to even work with his hair type. They just shaved it and he was MORTIFIED. Always labeled as aggressive by passer-byers and being followed around in stores while Dew is left alone and even approached with friendly service. Being stopped twice and accused of shoplifting and trying to defend himself only to, once again, be marked as aggressive and hostile.
Dew terrified to come out about anything he experienced bc he's heard the whispers about other people coming out. "Well what did she do to deserve it?"//"He must've led her on."//"That's what happens when you drink!" So he just stays quiet and never speaks up about anything, just forced to deal with it on his own even after he confided in Aether and Mountain as he's scared they think that of him.
Shit SUCKS. While there have been improvements through the years, unions, changes made with each Papa, it doesn't always stop it. Unfortunately, discrimination will always be around. 🫠
We recently saw a post about exomemories that interested us, but to avoid detracting from the point of that post, we're making this one ourselves.
The community often focuses on vivid exomemories, ones you can easily understand and tell others about, but it's alright if yours aren't like that. We ourselves often experience memories – whether exo- or from this life/world – as more general knowledge than, like, flashbacks or whatever. We know things without knowing how we know them. Sometimes we get flashes of "Yes, this feels right." or "This reminds me of something I can't put my finger on." We miss things that are hard to put into words, or instinctually assume the presence of something that we only realize in hindsight doesn't exist here. All these kinds of exomemories are just as important as the times we remember something big and vivid.
And of course, memories can be hazy or unclear; you don't need to scramble for details to prove to yourself your exomemories are real. This-life memories aren't perfectly clear and immutable forever and always; why would exomemories somehow be exempt from the regular ol' flaws of memory recall? You don't need every last detail to have "real" exomemories. If it matters to you, and feels real to you, then that's all that matters in the end.
Big, vivid, and clear exomemories are fun to talk about a lot of the time, but they're not the only kind of exomemory out there. Don't hurt yourself trying to force yourself to only have those kinds of exomemories, or suppressing everything that doesn't fall into that box. Exomemories are, at the end of the day, just memories like any other – and as this community should know well, memory can be complicated as hell.
We recently saw a post about exomemories that interested us, but to avoid detracting from the point of that post, we're making this one ourselves.
The community often focuses on vivid exomemories, ones you can easily understand and tell others about, but it's alright if yours aren't like that. We ourselves often experience memories – whether exo- or from this life/world – as more general knowledge than, like, flashbacks or whatever. We know things without knowing how we know them. Sometimes we get flashes of "Yes, this feels right." or "This reminds me of something I can't put my finger on." We miss things that are hard to put into words, or instinctually assume the presence of something that we only realize in hindsight doesn't exist here. All these kinds of exomemories are just as important as the times we remember something big and vivid.
And of course, memories can be hazy or unclear; you don't need to scramble for details to prove to yourself your exomemories are real. This-life memories aren't perfectly clear and immutable forever and always; why would exomemories somehow be exempt from the regular ol' flaws of memory recall? You don't need every last detail to have "real" exomemories. If it matters to you, and feels real to you, then that's all that matters in the end.
Big, vivid, and clear exomemories are fun to talk about a lot of the time, but they're not the only kind of exomemory out there. Don't hurt yourself trying to force yourself to only have those kinds of exomemories, or suppressing everything that doesn't fall into that box. Exomemories are, at the end of the day, just memories like any other – and as this community should know well, memory can be complicated as hell.
Im usually shy with reposts but i need this to be on my profile. Exactly as such.
(Checks profile to make sure you don't ship spamtis) ok this person deserves to live
