I Feel Bad Cause Shes Just Tricking Him And Hes Believing It (we Are Of Sound Mind)

i feel bad cause shes just tricking him and hes believing it (we are of sound mind)

but it gives us an alibi so we dont seem like a traitor

even though we kind of am

because i decided to meet kafka and help her help blade. so um. oopsie. my bad.

Kalim in RSA (and I get off-topic)

Spoilers for Book 4 and 5 (im sorry jamil enjoyers. but im so biased towards kalim its not even funny)

(this spiraled into me talking all about kalim in the actual game so oops)

imagine how different the story would be if kalim was in RSA

and we just hear from jamil about these snippets about his 'master' (although itd be weird they'd be separated if jamil tended to him often to where he'd prob be like his personal servant? idk what situation would have jamil talk to us anyway but yknow maybe we get close, he's like the other friend who seems cool? he'll basically help us out with knowledge about things, fleshing out the world a bit more, as the only sophomore in the group cause he kind of feels responsible maybe? then BETRAYAL)

and then eventually partway through the school year KALIM IS THERE (we know why though) and he somehow ends up housewarden.

i have a dislike against RSA. its very petty and its kind of because they keep winning (and they dont even mean ill intent which is worse! …but its kind of like kalims kindness. and i like kalim but that might make me biased. SO. thus the existence of this.)

we probably wouldnt like him much right? (and i imagine he'd get his fair share of bullies. we find this out. he laughs it off like 'nah, im used to attempted assassinations and everything. this isnt nearly as bad.')

(id do the clapping between but ppl get annoyed, and i get annoyed) CUE KALIM BEING MORE THAN SMILES AND WE LEARN THAT ABOUT HIM !!

HES aware enough that he can cook food good using JUST magic (which takes precision to use it as good or even better than your hands right??. its in his labwear vignette. ruggies teaching him ofc so ruggie wants it to be good cause hes taking leftovers, BUT CMOONNN he can learn. ..and yeah it took a few years for jamil to teach kalim antidotes to common poisons so he could do it easy but kalims hardly a master at making potions so i call that good)

AND in book 5 he noticed vil had like the same look as jamil to where he knew something was going to go wrong (aka the poisoning)

maybe its to show how much kalim doesnt belong in NRC and thats why they dont pull the 'more than he looks at first glance' like cater with glimpses in vignettes and etc

but like COME ON.

the sultan might be dumb (i recently re-watched aladdin) but at least he knew enough that he didnt want jafar marrying his daughter cause hes OLD and also he doesnt want to force jasmine into anything (good intentions. im sure if they just waited and she didnt find a suitor in time he would've just CHANGED THE LAW like he did IN THE MOVIE because he wants her to be happy!)

ALSo he tried to look through the law jafar claimed to say that would make her have to be married to the vizier or whatever (aka jafar) but then jafar just pulled it away before he could (and then attempted to mind control him when he refused) mans was prepared to spend hours reading over it even if he didnt understand it but he wasnt given the chance

also kalim is worryingly nonchalant about stuff. i mean. you can get used to horrible things to where they just feel so normal and uninmportant i guess? but poor bby. hes been like 'i want to keep myself alive because if i die then someone else will get punished.' or like about poisoning, if someone has a change of mind and hes already dead, then he cant do something to help them, so he has to make sure he'll live.

..i really doubt that hes just. so oblivious. maybe in denial, but still.

anyway i got very off topic. my bad. and to be fair we do get to see more of him at some parts. but hhh

okay listen. denial. (i am also a believer that if when kalim confronted jamil, if he said he didnt do anything kalim wouldve believed him. bruh gave him excuses like '..i just got tired, right?')

"The real Jamil would never do such things! He's a good guy. He's always helping me, giving me a shoulder to lean on, and—" (Book 4 • Chapter 33)

we just. dont see him really crumble?? he just. keeps being optimistic

we convince him jamil is bad. he resolves to punch him for being a traitor and THATS IT?

he sobs at the end of jamils overblot but then he goes back to being optimistic like 'lets be equals!' (..it feels like he didnt really learn much though as he's still 'I didn't notice--' 'I--' and i wish he couldve gotten more awareness. cause he makes it about himself yknow and blaming himself but COME ON put some blame on jamil PLEASE? or like. ANYONE ELSE. you also cant notice shit if no one ever tells you about it that you dont even know to look for it! he doesnt want to be cautious about who he can trust so like, why would he think to doubt the person who hes known his entire life??? especially if its something that was just always there that it feels natural, how could he know better? hes sheltered! so someone shouldve explained it to him, made him realize things! aghhh)

heres the book 5 one btw

"I got a real bad feeling when I saw the look on your face after Neige's rehearsal. It was practically the same look I saw on Jamil's face when he lost control of himself over holiday break." (Book 5 • Chapter 62)

And I mean maybe he did learn in that he's more aware of this now than others because he knows what people could look like because of Jamil, but I feel like a lot of things were just so unsaid. That the first time blindsided him, but now he's kind of a little more worried about something happening while he's there that he didn't notice so now he's trying to notice things more??? Or like maybe having gut feelings that he'd ignored before because it was Jamil but now knowing better?

So he can be aware. but then the rest of the time he's just thought of as dumb or an idiot or forgetful and it just makes me sad. and i mean i get that he wants to see the best in people but we never really talk about how its more that its denial. a refusal to see it, and i want to understand why

or maybe its because he sees the good in people that he trusts they'll do the right thing. or he believes that the good outweigh the bad (although i dont know if it'd be the same case if it was someone he knew who got hurt)

like. okay back in book 5

"Besides, I would bet there isn't a single person in Scarabia who hasn't gotten help from Jamil at some point. Am I right?"

"See? There you go. He's been a model vice housewarden. In fact, he's put me to shame. He let dark thoughts get the better of him for a brief time. Other than that, he's a perfectly capable guy." (Book 5 • Chapter 10)

He justifies it with that Jamil isn't the only one to blame (he also blames himself), and that Jamil hadn't done anything wrong before then

which. AGAIn. means that in his eyes the good outweigh the bad. jamils better at his duties so jamil should stay as vice housewarden.

this was the first time jamil did anything bad so it'd be fine, it was just an error in judgment

AGHHh

nothing about the fact that his closest friend he views as a brother

"He's grown up with Jamil since a young age, and considers him a brother in all but blood." (from the In-game Album)

who would be the last person he'd expect to do such a thing BETRAYS HIM, planning to make everyone (or well just the people in scarabia) turn against him

like. that has to be a shock right??? AND THEN HE JUST. welcomes him back into his life like it was nothing im just. kALIM. SWEETIE.

and i mean i get its for the best since if anyone knew what actually happened anything could happen to jamil (and jamil has his own reasons i get that but this is about kalim)

but he still hangs around him. has him as his aide. so while something did change, it also feels like nothing changed at the same time.

"I'm always chosen. Always. That's such an obvious truth that I never even consciously processed it. But now I see that was only possible because of Jamil's constant sacrifices. He created that "truth" in my mind by always holding back. By always letting me win. ...It stings. "Galling" doesn't even begin to describe it." (Book 5 • Chapter 30)

also like one of the very few times he expresses how he feels about something (how it hurts not to be chosen for the first time, and/or that he was only chosen because of someone else so he wants to work hard)

and then grim shuts him down with "You wanna talk about galling? Imagine how I feel not even makin' the cut for the audition to start with."

like. COME ON.

Kalim responds with, "Ah, you're right. My bad! I didn't mean to rub it in. Goodness, there I go again! I'm super sorry, honest."

and yeah it can seem kind of spoiled but also. its probably because of that that he doesnt want to share his troubles because he's very privileged so it feels like he might not deserve to act like its anything when everyone else has to work so much harder, right?

AND ITS JUST. REAFFIRMING TO HIM THAT his troubles are nothing compared to anyone elses and im just aghhauihduadhw

he also cares a lot about other people (people like him as housewarden because he listens to their troubles and supports them) so i just. want him to be able to take a moment to care about himself and just admit these things that he usually doesnt get the chance to.

i got a lot more worked up than i meant to

Another commission for @twst-charity !! Please go donate! We have both charities for organizations providing aid, and for people trying to get out of effected areas in Palestine. Any amount makes a huge difference

Fatebreaker / MCYT Isekai Fic (Fic Rec)

Tommy is a young nineteen-year-old boy who dies in an alleyway alone with no one to mourn him. Suddenly, his life turns upside down when he reincarnates into the novel world of The Ender Prince as Prince Theseus Craft, the third son of the Antarctic Empire and the first main antagonist of the book. With knowledge of the future, Tommy must act, lest he be executed. The world is not as simple as was presented in the book. There is far more going on in the background of this world than The Ender Prince ever touched on. If Tommy wants to live- if he wants to be happy- he will have to fight to break his fate and the fates of the people he has opened his heart to. Alongside Tommy's struggles through childhood, excerpts of The Ender Prince are shown, revealing the story of the book's original protagonist, Ranboo, who has lost all his memories and is searching the world for a purpose.

its genuinely so good

and i am baffled that theres not more attention on this

LOOK AT THIS

theres so much worldbuilding its insane. its all really elaborate and i really like it (and it also includes a bunch of ppl from different SMPs. theres DSMP, QSMP, Empires, WitchCraft (yknow the one with nercromancer scott), and also others im not too familiar with)

do note that this is only his CHILDHOOD (basically the part of his life until the start of the book that the world is based on, aka before protag of that book appears. ranboo will appear in the next work)

its not boring theres so much shit that happens and also stuff thats setting a lot of things for the future.

and

i really appreciated it. and i really think you should give it a shot too maybe potentially possibly????

it can kind of get complicated (theres so many terms that i dont really know the difference of. but it also has some inspiration from genshin, and i assume honkai too but i didnt read all the notes because i was too invested in the story so oops)

anyway. you might disapprove because there are characters who their real life counterpart has been involved in.. controversies..

or you might not be a part of this fandom anymore, which good for you

for me, i always view them as separate from whoever plays them (so this means i can still appreciate a character even if like their actor was an asshole yknow? i get that thats a complicated debate in and of itself though)

but i wouldnt recommend if you dont want to even interact with anything related to that kind of stuff since there is wilbur (i havent been keeping up with whos controversial, i just knew wilbur's cause he was one of my favorites and i liked his music. unfortunately.)

there is also shubble. and they are friends. (and this was written BEFORE the controversy even came out so errr)

so uh. yeah. if you dont wanna deal with that thats fine but uh

👍

i havent really been following any of the other mentioned creators enough to tell if theres any other controversy related to them that i should warn you about so uh. be warned.

oop

MORE VIGNETTE SNIPPETS (spoilers for the main story, book 4, minor book 7)

OKAY. thats.

jamil's ceremonial robes

idias ceremonial robes (I FORGOT)

ortho's labwear (well precision gear)

and lilia's labwear

(ALSO I GOT GENERAL LILIA OH MY GOD)

ERMMM (that didnt age well.)

ouch

:(

silver D:

AHHH more vignettes connecting SO FAR theres 1: Leona and Malleus' Ceremonial Robes Vignette (wrong robes) 2: Trey & Jade's Ceremonial Robes Vignette (iirc, I haven't seen part 2 of Trey's tho) (the unbirthday party for the start of the year. riddle mentions talking to jade. we then see it in jades. etc) 3: Epel & Lilia's Labwear Vignette (LANTERN BLOSSOMSSS)

OH MY GOD IVE BEEN BLESSED AHHAUIDHWAUSHDI LILIA THANK OYU SO MUCH HOLY FUCK FINALLY I GOT HIMMM i was scared i wasnt gonna

sorry i was pulling while i was putting this post together 😭i wasnt paying attention. then i see the coffins green. THNE A VOICELINE

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *deep breaths*

(epels fighting)

!!!

pugilist is like a fancy word for boxer. someone who fights with their hands

..i cant. take his old man jokes. (..imagine a scenario where his memory really was degrading though my heart)

huH ?????

[Blade: ...

I remember you.

(Huh?)

Blade: You once followed Kafka, didn't you? There was a time when she was on a mission — you were next to her. I remember.

I've yet to see anyone follow her for as long as you did... and live to tell the tale.

(What exactly are you getting at...?)

Blade: ...

Every Stellaron Hunter has a deal with Elio. I do not know the nature of those deals, but I do know that Kafka and I agreed to take orders from Elio. She must have sought something extraordinary. Everything she does comes at a great cost.

She will have done many things to keep you alive until now, young one.]

anyway honorable mention cause this quest had a fight i struggled way more than i shouldve at lmfao