I Can Now Say Ive Encountered My Irl Name Twice In Fiction.

i can now say ive encountered my irl name twice in fiction.

cool. i dont like reading my name though so i end up skimming it (or outright skipping the part because i just cant) which kinda sucks when its an important-ish character..

for some reason it doesnt apply to real life people (probably because there are people who have the exact same name and last name of me- no relation btw, just common last name lOl. or because they're real ppl. fun fact: i share the same name as a celebrity so thats nice.)

anyway

kinda feel bad for people who interact in media where characters have the same name as their dead name

cause like. even if you reject it as not yours anymore and get a new name, you still had that name for years, and that name was how you were referred to for a chunk of your life. so you still kind of associate it with yourself even if you dont want to, so you kinda cant really see it the same even if it isnt referring to you, yknow?

happy my name isnt that common though

oh my god LMFAO this event is genuinely so fun

is this persona

omg

holy shit HAUIDHSI

IM PLAYING AS TAIL

WHAT THE FUCK i thought you were actually a kind kid D:

i

what the fuck is this im.

seriously what kind of fucked up shit is this ??? even tails shocked

they actually made an actual 3d thing for it ????

wait skotts not his name?

wait what was his name

maybe his dad called him his name and i just missed it

SHIT i didnt expect to be in a battle with my actual team so ive just been running around with team of characters in story cause immersion (i dont have yunli) lmfao oof trailblazer

oh my god 💀

SIR

is this permanent

id say leave him like that but that kind of seems wrong to just kinda strip him of actual conscience basically. but hes also kind of an asshole. but hes not like the kind of asshole that kicks babies or pets so like i dont really think he deserves something that bad

Breaks in fashionably late

can i just say

you know those transmigrater(?) grator?? i odnt. i dont know the terms for this man

but you know the the the. transmigrates into usually the villain kinda stories?

you know whats my favorite for that kinda stuff? where we were the actual character all along (i think its.. regressor...? ??? either going back into your past as yourself or living another life and then backtracking to a past life of yours that being of generally the villain? idont know if thats what it actually means)

ive also never seen it but i just. think its really cool. and i like reading fics where theyre the same person

in the same way i like it when they have motives. let me be clear, ive NEVER seen the source material so i have no idea whats canon and whats not

but you know what id like to think is canon? shen jiu being a former slave and being super bitter at the world for being very cruel and thats why hes an asshole in like. book canon.(? canon. of. the book. ..in the story.? i think the the the book in that one is like Proud Immortal Demon Way...? IDK man)

or like like. og cale henituse acting like trash because he cares about his siblings and doesnt want negative attention on them also dont know if thats canon. but yknow what? thats my canon

now about time travel in general since it kind of relates, romance is always iffy because its like you know everything that'll make this person fall in love with you. or like, theres an age gap now, and it might not bother them but its not like they know. i know. (its worse if youre like back in your teenage years while youre already an adult cause at that point it feels a little gross)

its that sort of discrepancy(?)

so like. i dont like that there needed to be an entirely new person to be in that body to make change or do things for the better or make everyone like that person

it feels like a cop out.

and also people believing that that person suddenly changed for the better when they arent that person at all???

which. ow.

maybe thats my bad. maybe im secretly an apologist for them, idk, maybe im projecting

but like idk man. the world telling you youre not enough so someone else ends up in your body and then fixes literally every issue in the world (and everyone liking this 'version' of you better). like ow me heart

in all fairness the og's wouldn't have knowledge of the book they're living in??? which is why the transmigrator can do so much

but. THUS. new life AS the transmigrator, then regressing(?) back into their past life with that new knowledge. and probably character growth cause maybe they experience what being loved is like (familial. imagine how cruel itd be to have a lover then one day waking up in a past life of yours that you can only associate as cruel and punishing, and you genuinely cant be sure if that person was made up or not. like was it just a dream? also 'oh god the people i thought mightve been dead are alive')

tbh though it might be because while op time traveling shenanigans (or anything in between) is cool with me, i also like the angsty time travel of 'when i look at them, i keep seeing their dead faces'

of 'how do you know this' (accusatory, 'are you a traitor?')

of also grudges and stuff

but also. more character growth refacing trauma theyve faced before

also maybe probably very much selfish because they kindaa probably just wanna protect their family and will do anything to do so (and thus embrace the 'villain' part that people think of them as)

i dont know if im making sense anymore

now LET ME BE CLEAR i dont like that shen jiu hit his students and shit and was a huge asshole and its not going to suddenly go away. but. its acknowledging what you did wrong, making up for it, but knowing that it'll still stay there. that he still did it even if he deeply regrets it and even if everyone forgives him. because i really dont know in what situation itd be okay to be hit? and also that hopefully hes not that person anymore, but that he wont hide it and will own up to it as a thing he did and shouldnt have done.

anyway i dont know what og cale did besides act like trash but its either the fics im reading are downplaying it or like. thats really it. i have no clue. but still the same thing. if he did some horrible thing, ABOVE.

i just like redemption. and revenge stories. and character growth-ing.

and maybe thats on me for liking villain-ish characters. (im saying villain-ish though because supposedly og cale didnt play a huge part in the book? ....Birth of a Hero...?????? like he just happened, got beat up, and dipped? i think? thats what ive heard anyway. so i dont know if he really counts as one since like uh. white star.????????? ????)

anyway uh thought dump over

feel free to correct me in comments i like learning about things

LMAO ZEN (doesnt it happen for everyones routes though? i havent done like another story yet tho)

anyway before i get into talking about jumin (as the route im on rn) i wanted to wonder

yknow how certain things happen but only on someones route?

like zen has the echo girl thing, idk what yoosung has i forgor but i think jaehee had that one project??? that got her interested in like coffee stuff? jumin has the arranged marriage?? and seven has like. well. the hacker stuff.

but it never gets mentioned on someone elses route ? i dont think? i feel like itd be more cooler if it was all happening at once as like little references (but either something they can handle or cant handle outside of the route. just like maybe a vague mention of trouble to interest the player in that route, while still making sense from like a timeline standpoint???)

like. people doing things but its not because youre the one pushing it towards that. i like that more. and im curious how chaotic itd be

anyway

JUMIN. (disclaimer: I dont like him)

WARNING i start venting in this post. theres only one mention of a triggering thing (which is warned before the actual vent part but i dont want to put here to bring the mood down more cause in all honesty im over it. im just kind of projecting.)

i think ive said before how i can understand the liking of possessive partners

but. okay maybe its just that i dont like jumin as much as the others but. this is kinda way too much. or maybe its that i value my own independence a whole lot or maybe its because i really dont like the thing with his cat (and i LIKE cats. so giving me a character who likes cats and making me not like them??? ahgeiudhf)

like 'dont leave or ill go insane and make your face known everywhere so i can find you again' like the fuck no w h y CAN I LEAVE

I want to leave i dont care if i get the bad ending get me out of here 😭 (actually i think the bad ending mightve been if we encouraged being compared to like his cat and like. was willing to stay forever.)

e w NO like CHILL

maybe. im. being too extreme. and im just too on edge. but like. can you not. i am not your property?? i am not an object??

now LISTEN i understand marking. like like yknow biting and so and so as like a claim over your partner. and now that? thats hot and i like that. but thats ONLY for the bedroom there comes a point where too much of a thing is a bad thing

ALSO we've known each other how many days has it been. eight?? WE've known each other EIGHT days dont be horny bonk

g o o d . this is good.

STOP. dont talk like you know whats best for a person. like its some thing that'll happen, not a what if.

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. now if he was being more weird id say go home but hes. OKAY. ish. now. like hes trying. and anyway getting him to not do it takes time. and also this is a game of romance fantasies where creepy shit gets played off as kinky or something. (not a jab towards mysme its just the kind of thing its trying to do which can result in uncomfortable parts if you take off your rose-tinted glasses of wOAH ROmANCE. its expected since ppl think certain things are hot when in reality its kind of very not that great)

…CAN I GO HOME???? like BRUH im not gonna accept you just cause you do so and so

why does this feel like a 'nice guy'. maybe this is my bad because this is making me really want to leave buth gdiuhfuih

trigger warning. i vent. mention of kermit sewer slide but nothing actual.

ive been pushing the 'stay here to help jumin feel more calm' but. i do also need to prioritize my own well being and my well being is not happy here rn 😭 (on a serious note though while its important to be there for your partner, its NOT a good thing to give everything to make sure your partners okay, because y'all are equals and as you help them stand they need to help you stand too or you'll collapse under all that and it really wont be a good time. im telling you its very draining. and why i promote the idea of get your shit together before you get with someone because there comes a point where you can be too dependent on your partner which isnt good for you or for them [and they can feel hesitant to express their feelings because they dont want to hurt you, or hesitant to do anything too stressful because theyre like that support pillar for them, and they dont want to do anything that causes otherwise because they dont want their partner to get hurt. it can also mean they go along with what the other wants even if they dont really want to because they dont want to hurt them. am i projecting? ithink im projecting. cause like. ive been there. and honestly i think it kind of fucked me up cause there was like a power imbalance in that one was significantly more fragile and vulnerable then the other, which made me feel like i should be going along with it because i didnt want them to be hurt when they didnt have anyone else they could rely on but me. [i tried to get them to make more friends cause relying on a single person is very unhealthy but no dice] but that also meant that they didnt respect my boundaries or respect me when i say no and instead just gave off excuses to make me change my mind or made me feel like i had to do what they wanted or theyd deliberately hurt themself. so.. it was a lot. anyway it really fucked me up cause i felt like i was in the wrong for not going along with it. blah blah blah. we split. i genuinely have no idea if it was true or not but they'd started saying things to make me feel bad and just not a fun time at all. they were probably in a really dark time in their life but im gonna be honest. i dont know in what scenario its okay to go 'im gonna kermit sewer slide if you dont [blah blah blah]'. so yknow. and this is not really the same but it still feels the same in walking all over boundaries and lines and is especially why i do not like this character a bit. yay trauma.])

i might actually get a bad ending because i. really dont like this.

*screaming*

you know that sealed sector(?) quest thing

i got stuck doing the other difficulty stuff cause i just. didnt know there was something else you could scan to make them weaker

(this is them weaker tho.)

like. i just. didnt know it existed at all because i dont read the dialogue during stuff like this so i didnt know you could make them weaker???

so i was just fighting the super strong one that youre not meant to beat. so like. no wonder i was getting fucked over???

and i only realized there was something i could do when i noticed the lvl(?) sticker graffiti thing on the side of the cube on the one before this that i havent shown because i hate that thing with a passion

like i noticed it. and then there was the dialogue saying 'that guys powerful, maybe we can weaken' something something (not exactly like that but i already forgot the wording)

im. i feel like an idiot.

i just thought my characters were really fucking weak so it was like no wonder i couldnt do it...😭

like. the the the this quest thing