An Anxious Smile Forms On Her Lips As He Looks At Her Like That, Like He's Trying So Hard To Read Her

an anxious smile forms on her lips as he looks at her like that, like he's trying so hard to read her and decipher what she really wants. oh— damn her and her stubbornness. it doesn't help that she's also indecisive. agatha would very much like the ice because the heat just doesn't agree with her but she doesn't want to bother him! gods, but the heat is really starting to get to her now. for pete's sake— " can i please have some ice, toshiro? "

H is brows furrowed as she answered in turn. ---- She was always challenging to read and comprehend so indecision pinched at his inner crux in the semblance of pincers to adjacent clothings. - Once affixed it was essentially unattainable to acquire a pacifying liberation. Which is to say a precise discernment of her words." ----- If you're certain. "

a soft laugh leaves the faerie and she shakes her head. " no, i don't. if they feel regret or remorse for what they did, then that's fine. if they don't, then... " she shrugs, " it's also fine. i don't really believe in exacting revenge myself or letting someone do that for me. it just... feels pointless to dredge up the past when i've moved on, and they probably have, too. " still, she does find it a bit sweet he'd defend her like that. whether he would or not if they'd met when they were kids was probably a different story, but that time didn't matter to her anymore.

" yeah, i never really understood why people say your school years are your best years. they certainly weren't for me. i also think it teaches kids to not hope for their adult years, that when they're a kid, that's the happiest they'll ever be. " but maybe that's just what agatha thinks. sure, adult life comes with a lot of hardships and responsibility, but it doesn't mean it has to be devoid of passion and joy and hope. and for those like her, who had a terrible time, it doesn't mean adulthood will be just as dark. though for agatha, it had certainly been that way for some time. she does wish someone could've told her it wouldn't always be that way, that she would find hope again.

when nnoitra talks of happiness, her smile grows and she nods. " i understand that. i hope... i can contribute to your happiness. because i do want to make you happy, nnoitra, and i hope that's something you look forward to. " she wants to be one of the reasons behind his smile, one of the reasons he gets excited to see a notification on his phone. agatha knows only time will really tell if they'll be happy together, but... she does believe they will be.

If she'd told him: I don't wanna talk about it, he wouldn't have held it against her. He could hardly imagine himself sit there and vent about his insecurities. Then again, he wasn't a girl. Girls LIKED talking about their feelings. It was different for guys. He preferred this type of setting, where he wasn't the one doing most of the talking. That made him sound like a good listener, which he wasn't. He was just even worse at talking.

It seemed like Agatha was REALLY opening up to him here. She told him about being the shy kid ( yeah, Nnoitra could see how that could get you bullied ), and - about being chubby as a kid. Again, definitely something you'd get bullied for. Especially if you were a girl. Nnoitra hated how he could relate to this. Not because he'd been fat - but because he'd been ( and still was ) the opposite. His build was what people had tried to bully him about. Nnoitra would've hated his build even without people commenting on it, but yeah the comments... They hadn't exactly helped.

So Agatha had kinda had an eating disorder then? Nnoitra knew more about that sort of thing than he wanted to. Because he'd been accused of having an eating disorder about a million times.

Agatha had gone through a lot. To Nnoitra, it seemed unfair. She just wasn't the sort of girl HE would've bullied. Or, maybe he would've, if he'd seen her back then. She wasn't overweight now. She didn't stutter. She was kinda shy but not overly so. Her eyes? They were really pretty. Nothing to make fun of there. And glasses? Who the fuck cared if you wore glasses? If anything, they just made you look smart.

Nnoitra was relieved to notice that her telling her story actually made him sympathize more with her. His I-don't-give-a-shit-about-other-people's-problems-attitude faded a little. He'd thought it was pathetic that she got traumatized by bullying, but - when she described it? He could KIND OF understand it. She'd felt weak and afraid. Two of the worst feelings in the world. Feelings Nnoitra had had only a select few times, and yeah - those had been some of his worst moments. Imagine feeling like that for years.

He hadn't interrupted her while she spoke. Just listened while he watched her fidget, like she was uncomfortable. She'd soldiered on though, and told him the whole thing. He wondered what it had cost her. He had no words of comfort. What was he supposed to say? He'd just say what he wanted to, regardless. That was just who he was.

❝ 'N ya still don't wanna get revenge? I bet ya'd feel better if a couple 'a yer bullies ended up in 'da hospital. ❞ Yeah, of course he'd jump right to what he'd wanna do. But also -

❝ Even 'ta me, it sounds depressin' as fuck, thinkin' that High School 's supposed 'ta be 'da best time 'a yer life. ❞ High School hadn't been too bad for him, actually ( until he got stabbed in the eye, that is ). But it wasn't the best time of his life. ❝ If I could choose when my happiest time would be, I'd want it 'ta be later down 'da road, yanno? So I got somethin' 'ta look forward 'ta. ❞ A reason to keep going. If he KNEW he'd be happy again, then maybe he wouldn't feel so fucking down all the fucking time. He wondered if he'd just made Agatha feel worse. Or better. Probably neither.

it's so hot here y'all, i'm dying

this close 🤏 to making soryn bi and @noxiosus is just fueling the temptation

" they seem to be awfully interested in you, dove. " rigelig. maren uwu

@rigelig

" do they? " agatha asks, looking through the honeycrisp apples with a hum, looking for some to make apple pie with. she doesn't glance up toward the women her wife is talking about, she isn't even interested. why would she be? besides, could they not see the ring on her finger or that maren had come right up to her? maybe it just didn't seem that a woman like her could be agatha's wife.

she looks up now, smiling at maren. " why would i show any interest when i have you right here beside me? " agatha asks, reaching for her beloveds' hand and slipping her own into it, gently tugging her down into a kiss. " you know i have eyes only for you, my love. "

" i'm glad it doesn't make you uncomfortable. " agatha tells him with a smile. she feels a bit better about talking about this particular subject, feeling less uneasy and anxious now. to hear nnoitra had been bullied too, it wasn't all that surprising. they'll pick on anyone they know they can, unless that person puts a stop to it, like he did. height can certainly be intimidating, and agatha wasn't very tall as a kid. she certainly isn't tall now, either, still needing step stools and such to reach things on the top shelf in the kitchen and in other places, like libraries and stores. she wasn't so short as to be made fun of for it, though.

when he asks her what she was bullied for, she looks away and fidgets. " i think the list for what i wasn't bullied for would be shorter. " agatha laughs softly, looking back down at the table, then back up at nnoitra. " i wasn't one of the hot girls, though, that's for sure. i was awkward, quiet, shy. that got made fun of. it just made me keep to myself more and more. i was a bit chubby as a kid, too, so... there's that. nothing like being a little kid and hating every fiber of your own being. " she smiles sadly, fidgeting more with one of her rings. " over the summer between that school year and the next, i lost the weight. i didn't need to lose much, but... but then suddenly i was too thin. i wasn't eating enough and i forced myself to skip meals. "

boy, is it unpleasant to remember all of this, or at least, what she could of those years of her life. " even before i needed glasses they were making fun of my eyes. not like i can help being born with a condition that make my eyes look as they do. " another laugh, shaking her head now. " as the bullying progressed, i developed a stutter, so that was made fun of. it wasn't really long before they started getting physical. hair pulling, pushing me against the lockers, shoving me aside, tripping me up in the halls or the cafeteria... they'd destroy my things sometimes, too. rip up my books, shred my notebooks, broke my pens and pencils. my teachers and my parents tried so hard to do something about it all, but you can only suspend them for so long. " agatha shrugs her shoulders.

" people have asked me, 'how can you be traumatized after a little bullying? everyone gets bullied at some point,' and i just tell them they would've had to have been there to understand why it traumatized me. people also say being in school, highschool especially, is the best period of a persons' life, but for me? i... " agatha trails away and shakes her head again, her voice quieting a little when she continues. " i can't look back on those years and feel fond for them. i don't feel nostalgic, i just feel pain. "

YEAH, he should've figured she wasn't the vengeful type. While ( in his experience ) girls could hold grudges for ages, they weren't willing to DO anything about said grudges. Nnoitra... Was not the type to "let things go". If he came across anyone who'd wronged him, no matter how distant the incident, he'd be sure to take the opportunity to get even. It was the manly thing to do. Not to mention it was incredibly satisfying to see people get what they fucking deserved.

But that was because he generally liked seeing people suffer. Not just people who'd wronged him. Agatha wasn't like that. She was gentle. Kind. She didn't wish hurt upon anyone.

He doubted that the bullies regretted what they'd done to her. Which was why they should be MADE to regret it. By getting punished.

Agatha having a completely opposing view to his own might prove to be a problem down the road. For now, Nnoitra didn't care enough to make a big deal out of it. If she didn't want those guys to be punished then... Fine. Whatever.

❝ Mah, 's yer choice, but ya can lemme know if ya change yer mind. ❞ He rolled his shoulders in a shrug. ❝ Ya ain't gotta worry 'bout makin' me uncomfortable, 'cause I ain't like that. ❞ Getting "uncomfortable" wasn't something that happened to him too often, and when it did, it wasn't something he was going to show. He wasn't some pussy ass bitch.

❝ People tried 'ta bully me too, mostly in middle school before I grew this tall. ❞ He brushed his hand over the top of his head, as if to indicate his height. ❝ Of course they learned that I ain't takin' no shit from nobody. ❞ He didn't want himself to look like a victim. He was just trying to make her see that he wasn't completely unsympathetic to her story. Even if he thought her way of handling the bullying had been pretty tragic. Then again - that was the curse of being WEAK, right? You couldn't stand up for yourself so easily. ❝ What did they bully ya 'fer anyway? Ya look more like ya'd be one 'a 'da hot girls. ❞ It was probably a sensitive topic. He should've asked more delicately. Too bad he wasn't like that. He WAS actually trying to be considerate though. He wanted to know, because whatever it was they had bullied her for... Surely that would be one of her insecurities, and he wanted some pointers about what to stay clear of. He might still forget, but at least if he knew what she was insecure about, he could TRY not to comment on it. Whatever it was.