I Had Been Thinking About It A Little Bit And I Dont Know If Pity Is The Right Word. More Just Sad Probably

I had been thinking about it a little bit and I don’t know if pity is the right word. More just sad probably that this person who was able to talk circles around her when they first met now can barely say a handful of words. And probably a lot of anger on his behalf too. It’s like seeing a shark or some other predator in a state of starvation and sickness, just wrong to see something that was so fierce and dangerous reduced.

I was also thinking how different it would be if her Starscream was alive or dead at this point as well. If Starscream is still alive but still in jail I can see Windblade seeing it more as a pet project to take on but not really devote herself entirely too. She would still try but would probably acknowledge how useless it could be and such.

But if it was after her Starscream died somehow, then you have guilt to deal with. Not to mention the whole “how do you grief the death of someone right in front of you”. I can see her dedicating herself to this Starscream a lot more then.  I wonder if she would even get angry or frustrated and lash out that this Starscream is neither the one she knew nor the one she wants. Like of course Windblade is a good person, but even she has her limits on such things.

Also Windblade is in an unique position compared to everyone else because she does know the basics of what Starscream and Megatron’s relationship is but probably not about the abuse or how bad it got. I don’t think Windblade has ever even personally see Megatron in canon. So I wonder if she would try to steer Starscream away from wanting to see Megatron? Maybe be like “I knew the real you, the ‘real’ you more than he ever did”. Starscream would probably thing she was full of shit most of the time since he can’t even think properly, how the hell would he have become leader of Cyberton. Especially since I can see Windblade trying to gloss over all the bad things he did which makes Starscream distrust her more since he would be able to tell when she was lying by omisson about something. 

Megatron also knows even less about Windblade than Windblade knows about him. So I wonder if he would think she was just another bleeding spark like Clicker or something else. Maybe he would like Windblade just wants to restore Starscream to gloat over her victory? Or take revenge by proxy for all he did to her? Or maybe he would think she wants to use Starscream as a dangerous weapon that would then be loyal to just her in a way Megatron could never even dream of? Megatron knows Clicker just wants to help but to him Windblade is pretty much a complete unknown.

Sorry, I haven’t been able to get my proper Windblade fix since TAAO ended and really love the scenario your story creates.. I just love how Windblade in the comics is always a person who does and wants to do good first and a good person second, if that makes any sense.

Hey, Question about Futile Effort, since I don't see it occurring in the story proper: How do you think Windblade would react to this version of Starscream after knowing the "real" him?

Hm. So I’ve been thinking about this question for about an hour, and honestly? I really don’t know. I want to say she would take pity on him, especially considering she’s seen his “real” self. She has two versions of him in her head, and this third person is not shaped by experience, nor is he shaped by his own attributes and personality. He’s been molded from the outside in. I think she would take up the same position as Clicker. There is a Starscream in there that’s not this one. And like Clicker she would put her best efforts into getting him out. She doesn’t seem like the type to give up entirely on a person, even if that person seems beyond help. Though, on the same note, I almost think she might try to shape him to be better than he is. The Starscream trapped in Starscream’s mind is a biting, bitter fighter. He’s still a little mean, but not shaped by the same experiences as the Starscream she knows personally.  If they ever unlocked Starscream’s mind and helped him heal he would be unrecognizable to her. He would be Neither her Starscream, or the one she tried to forge from his Spark. But someone entirely different. And I think she’d acknowledge that. How do you think she’d react? 

Flaw in Every Crystal

“Chapter 14: 'Retraining Arc' Part 6

Aka: Prowl did a bad and now feels bad

Aka: The tension building stage?

We start after the anger of last cycle to Prowl bringing Jazz a lot of diluted energon.  Prowl asks if Jazz will accept the energon instead of asking Jazz to do something to earn it first. Though I think it should also be noted that Jazz responds first with an affirmative wing flick in answer to the question.

We see Prowl now being more concerned about Jazz, asking after his energy levels. Due to Prowl’s lingering guilt and Jazz’s exhaustion/soreness both are having a seemingly quiet moment together. Prowl  removes Jazz’s hand restraints so Jazz can feed himself. 

It is actions like this that though I like for Prowl and Jazz getting on more, will muddy the waters in the future of what the training means. Prowl is offering Jazz gifts out of guilt for getting out of hand and losing control earlier rather than as rewards to Jazz. This means that Jazz is less able to trust the intention of the gifts from Prowl. There will always be the question then if it is a guilt gift or a reward. By giving the same gifts for the beating as for behavior, Prowl is allowing the two to become associated in Jazz’s mind. So being a punching bag gives the same return as doing as Prowl wants, therefore when given a gift Jazz will have to wonder then if its foreshadowing a beating down the line. This is probably why also Jazz starts feeling like his actions don’t really matter since Prowl will reward/punish him for both Jazz’s actions and Prowl’s own depending on the unclear situation that only Prowl can judge. Prowl is also giving Jazz more rewards for taking abuse than Jazz was ever given the option of earning since before the second blow-up.

I wonder, is the cycle of abuse known on Cyberton enough that Jazz can recognize that they are currently in a “honeymoon” period? Or is Jazz just tired enough after last orn to just go with things for now? He thinks later that Jazz is pretending but then also wants to tone down his biting remarks to have the kindness continue. Which I guess could just be the next step of the abuse cycle playing out wherein the “tension building” step comes into play after the honeymoon. Though I don’t know how much I can trust the abuse cycle when Jazz is already expecting the anger to come back eventually when I think part of the cycle relies upon the victim feeling like things can really change and therefore staying. 

We do get a bit of an answer on the starvation though as Prowl and Jazz both agree that Jazz’s tanks may have struck and therefore he will have to be careful and consume less energon lest it just come back up later. I can also see starvation being a “good” part of training since if you lower the person’s ability to store and consume food, it will be that much harder for them to run since they will have to take more and have less natural reserves to call upon.

Prowl then promises Jazz at least two cubes the next orn to rely on, but says Jazz must earn it from beyond that. Prowl says how “This changes nothing unless you change because of it.” I have been wondering for a bit over this sentence. I know it means in a way that Prowl’s kindness will only continue if Jazz behaves so it is no use to show it otherwise. But at the same time it makes the beating almost feel planned when it obviously wasn’t.

Jazz seems to take this kindness as an act on Prowl actually. Which is a rather simple, though understandable way to view it. It helps accent here how young Jazz probably is that he can see things black and white like this. Wherein because Prowl is a “bad” person, any “good” actions Prowl performs must therefore be an act since “bad” people only do “bad” things. It also doesn’t help that Jazz must have major trust issues after the whole “courting” thing.

Prowl also detaches the energon line now that Jazz has been feed. It will also add probably in Prowl’s mind, more weight to Jazz having to earn his energon from then on.

We also see that Prowl now has a fear almost of giving Jazz gifts that allow Jazz more mobility since Jazz attacked Prowl and has stated he is willing to do so in the future. Yet even more than flavored energon and a blanket, the loosening of restraints is still a go-to. Granted right after I typed that I realized how stupid it would be to have a blanket in the room while Jazz was not capable of movement. 

Prowl and Jazz still seem to be in a state of “calm before the storm”, though when Jazz brings up a medical worry about his joints, Prowl just brushes it off as nonsense. Though in Jazz’s defense when he does finally try to move, it’s as though he has a fully body cramp.

Prowl then rewards Jazz highly for just the wing movements and not biting back that Jazz gets to clean up, though while still cuffed. Really Prowl you cannot be this schizo in the rewards system. You really need a point or leveling system or something. Like yeah, Jazz is not going to rebel with that offer on the table, but now that that precedent is in place, its going to look like complete “moving the goalposts” if you then later offer only energon for the same behavior expectations.

We then get the obligatory prison shower scene which I’m sure had Jazz tiling his head up as he looked towards the cleaning with eyes have open. Rather than the other classic getting on your knees and throwing out your hands as it rains prison scene.  

It’s odd how often Prowl seems to go from treating Jazz like an equal he is disappointed in to treating Jazz like a toddler who doesn’t know any better as he tells Jazz to be careful with the temperature. Is this just Prowl actually feeling like Jazz will not know any better or has he heard stories before of training where this was an issue to warn of and watch out for? And when Jazz chooses what he feels is a less confrontational address, Prowl doesn’t react but thinks to himself: 

“That commentary might have been worth punishing usually but the Enforcer let it go this time.”

So now it is setting Jazz up to fail in the future since Jazz didn’t hear Prowl’s thoughts. Prowl didn’t comment, so Jazz thought the action was “safe”. But when he uses it next time, Prowl will get angry and not let it go again and punish Jazz. But because Jazz cannot read minds it will seem random to him why a comment that was not punished before is being punished now. Prowl even leaves the room when Jazz asks in this way which will makes things so much more confusing down the line that of course Jazz will go the save route of distrusting everything.

I wonder, now that Jazz has adjusted to having the wings on his frame, will they be harder to remove if Jazz wishes to in the future? People tend to go back and forth on whether Jazz has any door wings, so I don’t know if the authors will go the route of having Jazz keep, change, or remove them in the future when he’s in control of his body again. 

Prowl seems to be using the excuse of it being an odd orn to justify his treatment/over rewarding of Jazz again. It’s kinda sad to see how much Prowl still wants that to be the way things are, even phrasing getting energon with Jazz “like we did before”. Prowl also puts getting out of the house on the table already even though its Jazz’s first time out of THAT ROOM since the retraining began. It’s even sadder to see the effect the training is having on Jazz where now he is looking for excuses and behaving to stay out of THAT ROOM which was Prowl’s goal. 

Having so many rewards given and offered at once to Jazz of course confuses him even more by this point and I can easily see to Jazz how it seems random if Prowl will be harsh with the punishments or over giving with the rewards. Prowl also takes his society very personally so when Jazz expresses disbelief that he could ever be a part of the society, Prowl takes it as self-doubt rather than Jazz hating the society. When Jazz tries to correct the statement though, it only angers Prowl to see something so a part of him be so totally rejected. Wash, rinse and repeat. Or as Jazz puts it:

“He watched their strange stalemate crumble with every word, knowing the only place to go from here was to an argument that would lead him to be locked up again. Wash, rinse, repeat. “

"You were more than interested in learning everything when you first arrived," Prowl countered.  This statement confused me at first because I though he was referring to when Jazz was faking it rather than the first first time Jazz was there as an outsider. So at first I was like “duh he seemed interested then Prowl, he was waiting to explode” then I read the rest of it.

Anyway, Prowl, sensing an argument coming as much as Jazz tries to just cut off the conversation then and there, of course not listening to what Jazz is actually saying, or at least not fully accepting it. Jazz then is just having none of it. I wonder if Jazz would actually take it better if Prowl acknowledged his feelings. Like “I know that you do not find this situation ideal, *Jazz snort* but your anger cannot change your situation for the better...” Actually that would probably still just lead to shouting the more I think of it. Maybe Prowl should try using an “I statement”? “Jazz, I feel frustrated when my home society’s kidnapping guidelines are insulted...”

In spite of Prowl wanting to leave Praxus to rise in the ranks based only on his own merit, he must still love Praxus, or at least have its values very deeply ingrained into himself, that Jazz will say  “Just take me back to Iacon, we can go our separate ways an' I'll never come back to Praxus." And Prowl will still insist on Jazz accepting Praxus instead of accepting this as a plan for both him and Jazz to work together on. He even says how its a slippery slope in his mind if the law is changed into complete chaos. 

Then we see this phase of the cycle end as Jazz is forced back into THAT ROOM after having another argument with Prowl. Jazz instead opts to attack Prowl again in a fit of desperation. Unfortunately, this signals to Prowl that Jazz will only respond to punishments since even offering the outside again still lead to an argument. So now Jazz will probably be even worse off than before. 

Till next time!

The Flaw in Every Crystal

Chapter 12: ‘Retraining Arc’ Part 4

Aka: Getting to know you

Aka: None of this had to happen

Chapter first released on Zombie Jesus day, I’m reviewing about a month before his birthday, but I just couldn’t wait so let’s get into it.

So, after a few days of learning and review, Prowl decides that its time for exams in his EXTREME Wing Language Accelerated Course WL101.  

We see when Jazz first responds to Prowl early on that he isn’t ready to start earning trust points back quite yet. Rather he is still showing Prowl all the anger he still has in the situation. Then Prowl uses the threat of harm to Jazz to get Jazz to stop acting out. As this is still early on in the abuse cycle wherein the pain to Jazz’s wings hasn’t faded from his memory yet, Jazz complies. And this then of course justifies Prowl’s actions to himself since then he is able to get what he wants out of Jazz, erasing any guilt Prowl may have had in the moment of hurting Jazz via believing that getting Jazz to behave will prevent any future harm. We can see this in Prowl, instead of letting Jazz’s submission at the threat of violence be enough, threatening Jazz again with more communication isolation/harm to his new wings. 

Aka, as long as I can imagine a harsh even end, any means can be justified to prevent it.

As Prowl leaves for a full day, we finally get to see some of the isolation getting to Jazz more since he expresses relief at Prowl returning. It’s probably a pretty bad/realistic nightmare to Jazz that if Prowl died, Jazz would just be left in THAT ROOM to rot/deactivate all alone and super slowly since he would have until the drip ran out entirely. Granted this would probably not happen as Prowl’s assets, mate included, would either go to his family or the state if his family decided they didn’t want their son’s quarter/fifth trained mate.

And now more miscommunication, as Prowl won’t directly tell Jazz what he is feeling/thinking/expecting in terms of Jazz, Jazz sees all of Prowl’s actions as either random or a set up to pain. So when Prowl gives a generic “Sorry I’m late” Jazz right away is on edge trying to figure out a true meaning/code to the words that may not even be there. 

Interesting to note that in spite of everything Prowl refers to the house as “our home” to Jazz. This indicates that Prowl is still reminding Jazz that there is a reason for him to be going through all of this, as Prowl wants the end goal of them being mates/together, for a time at least. Prowl also mentions the house, but not the attack. Prowl actually doesn’t bring it up until he needs a reason to prevent Jazz from being released from suspension. (Though considering I read MTMTE, Jazz should be happy he was just strung up instead of “Getaway-ed”) 

Prowl also uses this conversation to remind Jazz pretty much of the old saying “Once bitten, twice shy” and that he will be watching Jazz for any deceit from now on. I can’t help but think that there are a lot of versions of Prowl that would actually love this little give and take, trying to see how Jazz will escape and what tactics he will use with anticipation and excitement as opposed to this versions irritation. It’s kinda sad really that there doesn’t even seem to be a hint of respect or admirable. In other story, this could be grade A filtration material right here!

"I am not looking for a pet of any sort," Prowl replied with a bite of anger.

Yes Jazz, its pretty obvious Prowl wants a doll more than a pet. Pets can attack and make messes after all. Dolls just stand there and look pretty while spouting off the same three lines over and over again. 

"Maybe if I wasn't forced into it, ever think a' that?" ..."Because that would have worked so well…" Prowl's wings now flared too. "You showed such opposition to the idea of remaining that it's impossible to believe you would have cared to be grateful."

Now this is an odd sentence. Prowl is making it seem here as though he made Jazz his mate to prevent Jazz from leaving right away. But the fact of the matter is that Jazz kept quiet at first about leaving, even wanting to take in all of the sights while Prowl was applying to make Jazz his mate. It was finalized the day that Jazz tried to make a brake for it true, but the ball had already been rolling long before that. And Jazz knows this as Prowl gave him the bonding certificate when he was about to bolt. Is Prowl blending the two in his mind or is he trying to gaslight Jazz about it in this moment? Maybe Prowl is trying to justify and get up some more righteous anger at Jazz trying to leave?

“ Maybe if we woulda' got along well I coulda' came back or you coulda' moved to Iacon...”

And this line means that Jazz must know that Prowl was planning things out for awhile to keep Jazz in Praxus. After all, Jazz is recalling how they did actually get along at first and it was mutual attraction with Jazz’s intelligence/creativity sparking something in Prowl to make him chose Jazz. Not love, not lust after learning Prowl’s true goal for kidnapping, but it was something at least that Prowl saw in Jazz that told him he could stomach spending a lot of time with Jazz. Which I just realized makes what Jazz said about Prowl moving to Iacon to be with Jazz has SO MUCH DRAMATIC IRONY. I think that’s the correct usage of that phrase at least.

So much trouble and hassle would/could of been prevented if instead of shutting the conversation down at this point, Prowl had just said, even in anger, that he would not have been allowed to move to Iacon. Not even give the reason, but just that tidbit for Jazz to chew on. BUT NOOOOOO. Though even at this point, I don’t know how well Jazz would have responded. Would Jazz have tried to pounce on cooperating right away or would he have still been too angry at what Prowl has already done to him?

What Jazz said must have struck at least some kind of cord with Prowl since Prowl does return later in the orn to give Jazz a second shot at “earning” his energon. And then Prowl uses one foot to step into the room since the other goes straight into his mouth. Trying to say that Jazz being disobedient is not earning himself energon on purpose and therefore Jazz is staving himself and must be watch over to ensure that he will not starve himself via....pissing off Prowl...who doesn’t give Jazz enough energon... therefore making Jazz starve...himself? I think Prowl’s chain of logic is missing a few links, but hay, what else is new?

Jazz is going along with it, though in the moment we don’t know whether its hunger or finally putting a new plan into motion that has more steps than “frick off Prowl”.For asking in such a way Prowl allows Jazz to hold the cube himself via releasing only Jazz’s arms from restraints. I don’t know if its because he is still being punished for early, to make sure Jazz can’t attack him, or if Jazz’s arm use was all Prowl decided Jazz was owned for how he asked. 

And then Jazz moves forward with his current master plan, “Frick off Prowl” and throws it in Prowl’s face. Great plan Jazz, this is why you grow into a master spy someday. *slow clap* Honestly surprised that a return to the start in Jazz being fully done up and mute was the punishment and not something harsher. Though Jazz did restrain himself by throwing it in Prowl’s face rather than spitting it. Probably because once it was in his mouth his hunger would force Jazz to sallow. 

Plan “Frick off Prowl” moves forward a notch as Prowl demands an apology from the now seriously starving Jazz. Jazz at this point is so angry, distinguished, and powerless that he just kinda accepts death out of sheer defiance. Then Prowl returns insult for insult by dumping the energon below Jazz. Prowl only leaves when he can get the last word lately I’ve noticed, and if Prowl doesn’t get the last word in, he mutes Jazz. 

Prowl takes some time to form up a new strategy since his current one is going pretty bad. Jazz on the other hand seems to given up on any plan beyond “Frick off Prowl” to the point of trying to make them both loose rather than risk Prowl come anywhere close to winning. Prowl’s new plan seems to be a war of attrition, just wearing Jazz down to the point where he will actually accept energon from Prowl now. 

Quick note on this sentence:  “ Alone Jazz would have gotten about as much on him as in him, all of his functions having slowed down quite a bit. so the other's assistance helped quite a bit. “ Kinda odd to hear the phrase used twice so close together, though I know I’m probably not one to talk about such things.

Anyway, now that Jazz is weak enough to be handled, Prowl goes for pleasant physical contact to try to remind Jazz of how things could be. Jazz, being so touch-starved, goes for it at first. We then go for another ride on the “Jazz emotional roller-coaster,sponsored by Prowl” as Prowl goes from petting Jazz’s head to harming his wing at Jazz’s delayed response to being petted by Prowl. 

"You have no right to act angry when it is your own fault for your present situation.” I feel that this is a phrase that SO needs to be tossed back into Prowl’s face at some point. Especially any time he riles Jazz up on purpose and then berates Jazz for his actions while angry, or just any time Prowl gets angry at Jazz. Kinda disappoints me that i don’t think it ever is... 

Jazz, I know I said before about using your life as a valuable game piece, but I was thinking more in terms of poker, or chess, not a freaking game of chicken or a staring contest!

And with Prowl’s declaration that Jazz will not die, Jazz’s goals suddenly become a lot clearer. 

Till next time!

The Flaw in Every Crystal

Chapter 17: 'Life in Praxus' Part 1

Aka: A bigger cage is still a cage

Aka: Trust is the two way street Prowl plowed a semi across

So Prowl gives Jazz back his outside THAT ROOM rights. That’s nice. Jazz initially cringed when Prowl entered so any time skip that may have happened can be assumed to have gone just as well as it had the chapter before the intermission. 

“How do you think your training is going?” That is such an asshole ask. Jazz, if he were in a better or worse state of mind: “One star, would not recommend.” But as it is Jazz is in complete survival mode and just gives in to Prowl to avoid more pain.  

“... a simple flick of his wings to indicate he was speaking honestly.” Does this mean that wing movements can indicate lying? Or would it be more sarcasm?

Interesting that Prowl says he wants to offer and treat while unhooking Jazz, as thought the freedom isn’t said to be a reward for Jazz’s behavior but rather just Prowl’s nasty habit of assuming Jazz knows what he believes to be the obvious. Prowl either really trusts that the current training of Jazz has been working or maybe this could be some more subconscious guilt leading him to almost entirely unhook Jazz for the first time since the second explosion. 

Jazz is wobbly at first though I’m not sure if its just because of his mental state or also due to possible harm from being unable to move for so long. Or a bit of both. Or it could be lack of energon as Prowl believes. Prowl may not think it could be physical harm since he expects Jazz to be able to follow him through the house just fine.

Jazz eats too much to soon and almost gets sick which it surprised me a bit that Jazz was allowed to feed himself again. I’m glad at least Prowl didn’t comment on it. We see how well Jazz responds to physical comfort as he leans into Prowl as Prowl rubs his back. Prowl then tucks Jazz into the bed to sleep for a bit, a move that actually would seem sweet if not for everything else leading up to it.

When Jazz wakes up, he wraps himself in the blanket he was covered with more for comfort. It reminds me of how children do a similar action of hiding under blankets to protect themselves from monsters. It’s good that Jazz finally feels safe enough to let his grief and sadness over losing the life he worked so hard to get. 

I wonder how much of Prowl’s following actions are due to his own feelings and how much is the training Prowl is following having a section of what is almost a kind of aftercare for the physically harshest part of the training. 

"I realize how amazing it must feel at this point," Prowl began. -- Sure Prowl, sure you do.

We then see just how much the punishment cycles and Prowls lack of communication have affected Jazz since he believes that he will now lose the blankets and such when really Prowl just wants Jazz to recharge in the ‘normal’ way. It almost seems like Prowl will harm Jazz again for not doing exactly as told. Which is a lot of the root of the problem. Prowl wants Jazz to take his words at face value and only do as commanded while Jazz is trying to anticipate what Prowl wants to avoid punishments. And because Jazz can have no idea what Prowl is thinking, he fails and then to Jazz he gets punished for no reason trying to do what Prowl wants while to Prowl its obviously because Jazz failed to listen. 

Prowl tries to say that Jazz can always ask for clarification of orders but fails to take into account Jazz’s fear of punishment for not understanding something after enough times. There is also the embarrassment of having to ask for clarification of what sounds like a simple order due to not being sure what Prowl would consider the “correct” way of carrying it out. Like if Prowl said “wash the cubes” Jazz won’t know if he means to A) fill the sink with soapy water to let the cups soak, B) follow A but wash the cups right away, C) fill a smaller wash basin located under the sink to wash the cups, D) lather a sponge and use that as to not waste water. It seems like a simple and obvious order to Prowl but Jazz has no way of knowing which answer is right or punishable as each probably seems equally valid to him. Add on to this that no one wants to actually ask “hey, how do I wash a dish?”

We end on Prowl once again happy to live out his little couple’s fantasy as Jazz cannot sleep due to worry about the minefield of the future in front of him.

Till next time!

The Flaw in Every Crystal

Chapter 13: ‘Retraining Arc Part 5′

Aka might as well converse with a brink wall

Aka All on board the logic merry-go-round

We start with Prowl visiting Jazz again as Jazz comments to himself that Prowl is getting predictable. I can see how this probably is the case as Prowl seems to be making it up as he goes based on a simple outline. Prowl also isn’t the type to change something unless he feels he is forced to.

We also get another sample of how internal Praxus is since even a questioning tilt of the head instead of the winds is known as an “outsider” style of questioning. Prowl, feeling forced to do something to move forward with the training, says how now Jazz will be punished if he fails to respond to any questions of Prowl’s. Prowl is surprised that Jazz goes along with it.

Unfortunately, this probably reinforces in Prowl’s mind that violence does work on Jazz. Since Jazz is now agreeing to respond politely to Prowl after the threat of violence. This can be contrasted when before the promise of reward, energon, was literally spat in Prowl’s face. Kinda sets a bad precedent. 

Prowl, now seemingly now at this point just expecting Jazz to be contradictory to the point of self-harm wonders how long Jazz will go before “abusing” his “gift” of speech again. Jazz brings up how Prowl, lately especially, seems to bait Jazz into mouthing off so Prowl can punish him. Could it be Prowl’s own subconscious anger at Jazz for hurting him, insulting his culture, and taking so long to heel to Prowl’s commands that Prowl is manipulating Jazz into anger like this? Or it could be that Prowl is trying to get Jazz used to insults now so that when he brings Jazz out in public, Jazz won’t rile up the first time some stranger insults him?

Jazz tries to bring up again that the reason Prowl is locking him up is because Prowl is desperate for a mate. Not true, but Prowl has never given him another reason in so many words, Jazz has no other choice but to believe it. Prowl tries to disregard this reasoning, saying how there have been offers but Jazz was the first to grab his attention. I wonder if the other offers were all from subs or people asking Prowl to be the sub? Or both? Could someone ask another to take them as a sub, or is that seen as really improper?

Jazz brings up the problem of rapid immersion being that now that Prowl has introduced this new culture/side of himself, Jazz may not/does not like what he sees. Especially if he feels that Prowl was not being honest at all before now so any trust and prior relationship is flushed down the toilet. Prowl brings up how Jazz decided to bolt before Prowl could explain things, though I would bring up once again that the relationship was already set in stone by that time. So even if Jazz had stuck around, things still would have gone very down hill very quickly. 

"I warned you that trying to leave as you were at the time wasn't going to work out. It's not my fault that you overreacted. You could have waited and listened instead of trying to run away."

And Prowl does not so much as dance around the topic of using the bonding to Jazz to escape Praxus as he confusingly waltzes to a song only he can hear while Jazz looks on. So what is with Prowl not telling? What does he think will happen of Jazz finds out Prowl wants to leave Praxus too? That Jazz will turn him in???? He says how he doesn’t trust Jazz, can’t trust Jazz, and how Jazz can’t take care of himself....but honestly come on Prowl, why does your plan hinge on Jazz being in the dark about the end game???? Like sure, Jazz exploded....twice....but that proves Jazz wants to leave. 

Why try to get Jazz so used to Praxus? Unless he thinks if he tells Jazz now, Jazz will try to rush things? That’s the only reason I can really think of from Prowl’s point of view. And seems reasonable if he thinks Jazz will fly off the handle and explode again whenever there is a set back or delay in the plan needed. One can only afford to fix the house so many times. Or worse we get a Lady Macbeth reenactment.

And then we get the back and forth arguments again where Prowl and Jazz just keep stating what they believe but neither cares to accept any point the other makes so they may as well just be talking to a wall. Except the wall may be better since the wall can’t get pissed off at you. 

“ I would never demean you in such a way."  I wonder what that would mean in Praxus to demean a sub. Like literal pet play in public? More probably if the sub looks really beat up and wrecked it reflects badly on the dom. But still...

It is fun to hear the back and forth between Prowl and Jazz. It does actually remind me of some of Shakespeare's back and forth between Katherine and  Petruchio. If/When I ever get this review series done I may reread the play just to do a break down of all the differences and similarities between them.

"It's no wonder your job is to be shipped away to other cities constantly; no one there wants to be forced to interact with you for any extended period."

And yeah, that is a really low blow Prowl. When Jazz reacts to it, Prowl finally just snaps and starts beating on Jazz. Unfortunately I feel like Prowl was attracted to Jazz for being able to talk to Prowl and bring emotions out of Prowl.

And this is where we end the chapter.

Till next time!

I am an Adult

I feel so freaking proud of myself for transforming a transformers toy....

It took 25 minutes even with instructions....

I am 28 years old....

It is rated 8+....

And now I want to yet fear transforming him back...

What am I doing with my life....