The Flaw In Every Crystal

The Flaw in Every Crystal

Chapter 16: Intermission 2

aka: Help me Blaster, you’re my only hope!

It’s interesting that Derby is said to have had delegations in Kaon, but then has to return to get out of combat mode. Most of the time Kaon is described as the most violent of the city-states in the unwritten canon of transformers fanfiction but I would think that the problem would be corrupt officials, not actual expected combat. Also I wonder how much experience then Derby has viewing other cultures or because she is part of the military is she mostly kept away from such things?

"Because normally the patient is the one bringing in the request [for medical grade energon." Could a sub pick up energon for a sick dom then? Or would they need special permission?

I wonder if Jazz did die due to the training how Triage would react to it. Would she see Prowl differently?

Anyway, on to Blaster!

Jazz’s employer gets to know first hand how “disappearing” someone is great in theory, but way harder in real life. It’s a good thing Jazz didn’t have creators or a mate around that could provide paperwork proof of Jazz’s employment that would be a lot harder to explain away. 

It is very telling and interesting that after getting a distressed call from Jazz and then being unable to contact him further, for what must be many orns now, Blaster is asking around Jazz’s previous place of business rather than the enforcers. I wounder to how well the tracks of Jazz were covered. I mean he was a writer before/ cultural investigator. One would think to prove that Jazz was employed somewhere, Blaster would just have to provide an article written by him. Unless this was new employment and Jazz was more freelance before, or wrote under a pen name, or if his previous writings were simply deleted/withdrawn. Or I guess altered to have someone else’s name attached if you really want to muddy the waters.

 Blaster then hides himself away from “prying optics” before releasing his cassette. I wonder if Blaster should actually worry that someone is still tailing him after asking so much about Jazz or if Blaster is just being overly cautious. My instincts say that whoever wanted Jazz gone has pretty much washed his/her hands of it now but you never know.

Blaster gives Eject simple yet huge orders “ "Get me what ya can ta help me find 'im or why 'e don' exist in their system, but don't risk yerself any more lookin'.” And I can hear that Chekhov's gun cocking from all the way out here. Though even double the chapters from now I’m still waiting to see whose face it will go off in. 

Anyway, Cassettes, mind some details on what they are in this story? Like will they always be younglings? Can we expect them to grow up? How related to Blaster are they? How odd of a sight are they? Would people notice them or chose to ignore them? Do they need to visit Blaster regularly? Is Rewind already married here?

But anyway, back to the main plot of Life in Praxus!

Till next time!

Well, he survived the Nyon explosion because he caused said explosion… But otherwise yeah sure.

I kinda hope that Roddy runs into the group and The Magnificence again, and the eye both remembers and likes Roddy. Because I would find that both adorable and awesome.

That would be adorable, and it also makes me wonder - what the hell is with all these mystical artefacts being hot-to-trot for Rodimus?  Does his charisma cross over into the mythological realm?

I mean, it’s possible he has some kind of Chosen One thing going on, but I kind of hope not; I hope it’s just that Rodimus is that sexy, that Cybertronians and aliens and disembodied magical eyeballs all want him. :)

Maybe he actually got sent to the secret prison?

This guy looks like a cross between Bumblebee and a teddy bear. 

…I dub thee Bumblebear. 

Putting this here for save keeping....

Just collecting my various links

Feel free to visit any as you like. More will be added as I find everything and get it organized.

https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylar_Matthews

https://www.writscrib.com/mywall/2871-skylarmatthews

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1K7XSNDsZ-H6pfXXlzMNpLw6GvVkbly_dalUoApcqZqM

https://www.patreon.com/SkylarMatthews

https://ko-fi.com/SkylarM

I had been thinking about it a little bit and I don’t know if pity is the right word. More just sad probably that this person who was able to talk circles around her when they first met now can barely say a handful of words. And probably a lot of anger on his behalf too. It’s like seeing a shark or some other predator in a state of starvation and sickness, just wrong to see something that was so fierce and dangerous reduced.

I was also thinking how different it would be if her Starscream was alive or dead at this point as well. If Starscream is still alive but still in jail I can see Windblade seeing it more as a pet project to take on but not really devote herself entirely too. She would still try but would probably acknowledge how useless it could be and such.

But if it was after her Starscream died somehow, then you have guilt to deal with. Not to mention the whole “how do you grief the death of someone right in front of you”. I can see her dedicating herself to this Starscream a lot more then.  I wonder if she would even get angry or frustrated and lash out that this Starscream is neither the one she knew nor the one she wants. Like of course Windblade is a good person, but even she has her limits on such things.

Also Windblade is in an unique position compared to everyone else because she does know the basics of what Starscream and Megatron’s relationship is but probably not about the abuse or how bad it got. I don’t think Windblade has ever even personally see Megatron in canon. So I wonder if she would try to steer Starscream away from wanting to see Megatron? Maybe be like “I knew the real you, the ‘real’ you more than he ever did”. Starscream would probably thing she was full of shit most of the time since he can’t even think properly, how the hell would he have become leader of Cyberton. Especially since I can see Windblade trying to gloss over all the bad things he did which makes Starscream distrust her more since he would be able to tell when she was lying by omisson about something. 

Megatron also knows even less about Windblade than Windblade knows about him. So I wonder if he would think she was just another bleeding spark like Clicker or something else. Maybe he would like Windblade just wants to restore Starscream to gloat over her victory? Or take revenge by proxy for all he did to her? Or maybe he would think she wants to use Starscream as a dangerous weapon that would then be loyal to just her in a way Megatron could never even dream of? Megatron knows Clicker just wants to help but to him Windblade is pretty much a complete unknown.

Sorry, I haven’t been able to get my proper Windblade fix since TAAO ended and really love the scenario your story creates.. I just love how Windblade in the comics is always a person who does and wants to do good first and a good person second, if that makes any sense.

Hey, Question about Futile Effort, since I don't see it occurring in the story proper: How do you think Windblade would react to this version of Starscream after knowing the "real" him?

Hm. So I’ve been thinking about this question for about an hour, and honestly? I really don’t know. I want to say she would take pity on him, especially considering she’s seen his “real” self. She has two versions of him in her head, and this third person is not shaped by experience, nor is he shaped by his own attributes and personality. He’s been molded from the outside in. I think she would take up the same position as Clicker. There is a Starscream in there that’s not this one. And like Clicker she would put her best efforts into getting him out. She doesn’t seem like the type to give up entirely on a person, even if that person seems beyond help. Though, on the same note, I almost think she might try to shape him to be better than he is. The Starscream trapped in Starscream’s mind is a biting, bitter fighter. He’s still a little mean, but not shaped by the same experiences as the Starscream she knows personally.  If they ever unlocked Starscream’s mind and helped him heal he would be unrecognizable to her. He would be Neither her Starscream, or the one she tried to forge from his Spark. But someone entirely different. And I think she’d acknowledge that. How do you think she’d react? 

Flaw in Every Crystal

“Chapter 14: 'Retraining Arc' Part 6

Aka: Prowl did a bad and now feels bad

Aka: The tension building stage?

We start after the anger of last cycle to Prowl bringing Jazz a lot of diluted energon.  Prowl asks if Jazz will accept the energon instead of asking Jazz to do something to earn it first. Though I think it should also be noted that Jazz responds first with an affirmative wing flick in answer to the question.

We see Prowl now being more concerned about Jazz, asking after his energy levels. Due to Prowl’s lingering guilt and Jazz’s exhaustion/soreness both are having a seemingly quiet moment together. Prowl  removes Jazz’s hand restraints so Jazz can feed himself. 

It is actions like this that though I like for Prowl and Jazz getting on more, will muddy the waters in the future of what the training means. Prowl is offering Jazz gifts out of guilt for getting out of hand and losing control earlier rather than as rewards to Jazz. This means that Jazz is less able to trust the intention of the gifts from Prowl. There will always be the question then if it is a guilt gift or a reward. By giving the same gifts for the beating as for behavior, Prowl is allowing the two to become associated in Jazz’s mind. So being a punching bag gives the same return as doing as Prowl wants, therefore when given a gift Jazz will have to wonder then if its foreshadowing a beating down the line. This is probably why also Jazz starts feeling like his actions don’t really matter since Prowl will reward/punish him for both Jazz’s actions and Prowl’s own depending on the unclear situation that only Prowl can judge. Prowl is also giving Jazz more rewards for taking abuse than Jazz was ever given the option of earning since before the second blow-up.

I wonder, is the cycle of abuse known on Cyberton enough that Jazz can recognize that they are currently in a “honeymoon” period? Or is Jazz just tired enough after last orn to just go with things for now? He thinks later that Jazz is pretending but then also wants to tone down his biting remarks to have the kindness continue. Which I guess could just be the next step of the abuse cycle playing out wherein the “tension building” step comes into play after the honeymoon. Though I don’t know how much I can trust the abuse cycle when Jazz is already expecting the anger to come back eventually when I think part of the cycle relies upon the victim feeling like things can really change and therefore staying. 

We do get a bit of an answer on the starvation though as Prowl and Jazz both agree that Jazz’s tanks may have struck and therefore he will have to be careful and consume less energon lest it just come back up later. I can also see starvation being a “good” part of training since if you lower the person’s ability to store and consume food, it will be that much harder for them to run since they will have to take more and have less natural reserves to call upon.

Prowl then promises Jazz at least two cubes the next orn to rely on, but says Jazz must earn it from beyond that. Prowl says how “This changes nothing unless you change because of it.” I have been wondering for a bit over this sentence. I know it means in a way that Prowl’s kindness will only continue if Jazz behaves so it is no use to show it otherwise. But at the same time it makes the beating almost feel planned when it obviously wasn’t.

Jazz seems to take this kindness as an act on Prowl actually. Which is a rather simple, though understandable way to view it. It helps accent here how young Jazz probably is that he can see things black and white like this. Wherein because Prowl is a “bad” person, any “good” actions Prowl performs must therefore be an act since “bad” people only do “bad” things. It also doesn’t help that Jazz must have major trust issues after the whole “courting” thing.

Prowl also detaches the energon line now that Jazz has been feed. It will also add probably in Prowl’s mind, more weight to Jazz having to earn his energon from then on.

We also see that Prowl now has a fear almost of giving Jazz gifts that allow Jazz more mobility since Jazz attacked Prowl and has stated he is willing to do so in the future. Yet even more than flavored energon and a blanket, the loosening of restraints is still a go-to. Granted right after I typed that I realized how stupid it would be to have a blanket in the room while Jazz was not capable of movement. 

Prowl and Jazz still seem to be in a state of “calm before the storm”, though when Jazz brings up a medical worry about his joints, Prowl just brushes it off as nonsense. Though in Jazz’s defense when he does finally try to move, it’s as though he has a fully body cramp.

Prowl then rewards Jazz highly for just the wing movements and not biting back that Jazz gets to clean up, though while still cuffed. Really Prowl you cannot be this schizo in the rewards system. You really need a point or leveling system or something. Like yeah, Jazz is not going to rebel with that offer on the table, but now that that precedent is in place, its going to look like complete “moving the goalposts” if you then later offer only energon for the same behavior expectations.

We then get the obligatory prison shower scene which I’m sure had Jazz tiling his head up as he looked towards the cleaning with eyes have open. Rather than the other classic getting on your knees and throwing out your hands as it rains prison scene.  

It’s odd how often Prowl seems to go from treating Jazz like an equal he is disappointed in to treating Jazz like a toddler who doesn’t know any better as he tells Jazz to be careful with the temperature. Is this just Prowl actually feeling like Jazz will not know any better or has he heard stories before of training where this was an issue to warn of and watch out for? And when Jazz chooses what he feels is a less confrontational address, Prowl doesn’t react but thinks to himself: 

“That commentary might have been worth punishing usually but the Enforcer let it go this time.”

So now it is setting Jazz up to fail in the future since Jazz didn’t hear Prowl’s thoughts. Prowl didn’t comment, so Jazz thought the action was “safe”. But when he uses it next time, Prowl will get angry and not let it go again and punish Jazz. But because Jazz cannot read minds it will seem random to him why a comment that was not punished before is being punished now. Prowl even leaves the room when Jazz asks in this way which will makes things so much more confusing down the line that of course Jazz will go the save route of distrusting everything.

I wonder, now that Jazz has adjusted to having the wings on his frame, will they be harder to remove if Jazz wishes to in the future? People tend to go back and forth on whether Jazz has any door wings, so I don’t know if the authors will go the route of having Jazz keep, change, or remove them in the future when he’s in control of his body again. 

Prowl seems to be using the excuse of it being an odd orn to justify his treatment/over rewarding of Jazz again. It’s kinda sad to see how much Prowl still wants that to be the way things are, even phrasing getting energon with Jazz “like we did before”. Prowl also puts getting out of the house on the table already even though its Jazz’s first time out of THAT ROOM since the retraining began. It’s even sadder to see the effect the training is having on Jazz where now he is looking for excuses and behaving to stay out of THAT ROOM which was Prowl’s goal. 

Having so many rewards given and offered at once to Jazz of course confuses him even more by this point and I can easily see to Jazz how it seems random if Prowl will be harsh with the punishments or over giving with the rewards. Prowl also takes his society very personally so when Jazz expresses disbelief that he could ever be a part of the society, Prowl takes it as self-doubt rather than Jazz hating the society. When Jazz tries to correct the statement though, it only angers Prowl to see something so a part of him be so totally rejected. Wash, rinse and repeat. Or as Jazz puts it:

“He watched their strange stalemate crumble with every word, knowing the only place to go from here was to an argument that would lead him to be locked up again. Wash, rinse, repeat. “

"You were more than interested in learning everything when you first arrived," Prowl countered.  This statement confused me at first because I though he was referring to when Jazz was faking it rather than the first first time Jazz was there as an outsider. So at first I was like “duh he seemed interested then Prowl, he was waiting to explode” then I read the rest of it.

Anyway, Prowl, sensing an argument coming as much as Jazz tries to just cut off the conversation then and there, of course not listening to what Jazz is actually saying, or at least not fully accepting it. Jazz then is just having none of it. I wonder if Jazz would actually take it better if Prowl acknowledged his feelings. Like “I know that you do not find this situation ideal, *Jazz snort* but your anger cannot change your situation for the better...” Actually that would probably still just lead to shouting the more I think of it. Maybe Prowl should try using an “I statement”? “Jazz, I feel frustrated when my home society’s kidnapping guidelines are insulted...”

In spite of Prowl wanting to leave Praxus to rise in the ranks based only on his own merit, he must still love Praxus, or at least have its values very deeply ingrained into himself, that Jazz will say  “Just take me back to Iacon, we can go our separate ways an' I'll never come back to Praxus." And Prowl will still insist on Jazz accepting Praxus instead of accepting this as a plan for both him and Jazz to work together on. He even says how its a slippery slope in his mind if the law is changed into complete chaos. 

Then we see this phase of the cycle end as Jazz is forced back into THAT ROOM after having another argument with Prowl. Jazz instead opts to attack Prowl again in a fit of desperation. Unfortunately, this signals to Prowl that Jazz will only respond to punishments since even offering the outside again still lead to an argument. So now Jazz will probably be even worse off than before. 

Till next time!