flowerwiththemachinegun - The Shit Show
The Shit Show

I’m just here to write shit. Roxx, 26 she/her 🏳️🏴🟣Minors DNI, Do not interact. I don’t know how to have normal conversation. Lot’s of down bad horny talk, can’t help it, my bad. FF7 and Jey USO addict ao3:flowersandglocks. I literally talk to myself on here, so I guess this is also personal but I'm not making a separate page.

607 posts

Very Often I Think About Sephiroth Crawling In My Bed And Napping. Cause Why Not? Headcanons For Sephiroth

Very often I think about Sephiroth crawling in my bed and napping. Cause why not? Headcanons for Sephiroth Angeal Cloud Zack +Tseng and Rufus? if they have consistent access to your home. I doubt they’d do anything too invasive…that doesn’t go for Rufus and Tseng

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Zack

haven’t been paying enough attention to him he’s worried about you, you haven’t sent him your routine messages that let him know you made it to work or when you were heading home and that’s just weird. “What could be more important than thinking about me?”

Love him all you want, he’s eating your favorite snacks like a greedy little monster, it doesn’t matter if you buy enough to accommodate both of you. It takes a lot of food to fuel that man’s body, so that just means you started buying more for him to eat in addition to what he already steals right?

Doesn’t really snoop around while you’re gone but if something catches his attention he’s going to investigate. You’ll catch him with something in his hands that you haven’t seen in ages but still claims he doesn’t actually go through your things…sure buddy

Tries to straighten up messes, most of which he makes, but I dunno man. Something about Zack doesn’t scream world’s most tidy man and he doesn’t pay attention to fine detail. It’s the effort that counts right? He’ll at least take your trash out for you and clean up any obvious messes.

Will find him sprawled out on your couch waiting for you to get home, snoring and drooling all over the arm of your sofa…god he’s so fucking adorable and he’s just waiting for you to get home and cuddle him. After all you gave him a key for anything important.

Cloud

Yall know I’m making the “you like krabby patties don’t you squidward” face mhm..anyways are those most definitely your underwear in his hands that he’s so poorly trying to hide behind his back. Not to mention the underwear hanging out of his pocket. “You know Cloud,I heard you were a perv but fuck.”

After that day he didn’t use his key for a while. No, that’s not what he was there for originally. He was waiting for you to get to your home after an argument the two of you had on the phone to speak to you in person. Who knew that in his boredom his feet would led him to your drawers? There wasn’t too much to argue about anymore, not after asking if he wanted the ones on your ass too. He did and he got them off of you personally.

Will also straighten up things he sees in disarray, especially if he knows you like things a particular way. Will also feed and take care of any other needs your pet has if you have one. He gives your pet way more attention in private than he does around you.

The “Oh I fixed it” guy. If he isn’t there by the time you get back there might be a list of miscellaneous items he fixed. Eventually he stops making the lists considering you didn’t even realize what needed fixing and when, knowing that his actions are always appreciated.

Genesis

Because what more of an excuse does he need to freely enter your home than being Genesis? He’s coming to get your attention and recite Loveless to you while creating parallels between you and the words of his beloved epic.

Mad at him? Ignoring him? That’s not going to work, you better take that key back if you really don’t want him in your face. He’s not going to knock, sweet boy is coming straight in to fix whatever turmoil has risen between the two. Sometimes bearing gifts in these moments but he delivers you gifts when you’re not mad at him as well.

Noticed one thing isn’t very tidy, taken in account that perhaps you’ve been too tired or not in the best of moods lately. He’s going to end up cleaning your home just as he would keep his own. It’s the least he can do to help his darling.

Somehow makes your entire home smell like him, it’s like he has a Febreze can of himself that he sprays around the place. It’s just him spraying his cologne everywhere to mark his territory like a cat.

Sets up cute dates for when you arrive. This is especially convenient considering the two of you have such busy/conflicting schedules. Making sure to take care of anything around your home so you can solely focus on unwinding from the events of the day and on him.

Sometimes you’ll come home to fresh flowers sitting on your living room table. Along with a sickly sweet note, a quote from Loveless thrown in, and addressed to “his goddess”.

Angeal (ily break into my home pls I just wanna talk)

The master at taking care of his “beautiful liege”. Originally got a key to your home to pick up some things you needed for work but seeing the disarray of your apartment causes him to pause. It doesn’t bother him but if you needed help being taken care of you should have asked. Poor baby feels bad for not noticing that he needs to take care of you far more than he already does.

Yeah, you actually never got the things you needed for work that day. Only receiving a short text from Angeal claiming he would “be there soon”. Stepping into your home you can’t help but notice that it smells amazing. Beginning your trek to the couch toss your things down you go to step over some books that you swear were going to get picked up two weeks ago. Looking around you can’t help but notice the whole apartment is spotless. No longer able to hold the irritation you held with Angeal for bailing on you earlier, as you realize why he never showed up.

He refuses to give you back “his” your key after this. He won’t enter without your permission of course, even if you’re home, the man’s polite after all. Certainly wont go through your things unlike Cloud and Zack but can often be found curled up in your bed if it takes a while for you to get home.

You already know this man is cooking for you, normally timing when he’ll finish a meal with the time you get home so it’s fresh cause he “needs the best for his baby”. He’ll also do things like having a bath running for you, will join if you want him to, he’ll wash you up himself since you “shouldn’t have to lift another finger today”. Once again due to such a busy and conflicting schedule this is the easiest routine for you two.

Sometimes it seems like he lives there, seemingly spending more time at your place than at his own. Which is just fine with him, home is where his heart belongs, and his heart belongs with you.

Sephiroth (the cutest one idk i usually write my favorite one last but between Angeal, Seph and Rufus+Tseng idk) {After Genesis goes missing to highlight his emotional state}

To say the look on that man’s face was stressed was an understatement. As you walked into his office, immediately asking our dear Sephi what was wrong. Not one to go into too much detail Sephiroth explains he’d just like to be alone. That right now everything is a bit much for him to deal with and he doesn’t want to be found “unless it’s by you”. Prompting you to offer up your apartment, knowing nobody would look for him there.

Hesitant to accept your offer because he doesn’t want to intrude or make himself an inconvenience to you. A statement that makes you roll your eyes because Sephiroth could never be a bother. It doesn’t take much convincing for him take your keys and disappear from the Shinra building.

When you get home Sephiroth you can tell he’s made himself at home. His shirtless form opens the door for you, giving you a quick kiss and asking how your day has been. Noting that he looks a bit more well rested than he did earlier. As you walk around you can kind of tell what he’s been up to, a few of your books are sitting on the couch along with his laptop. Nothing out of the ordinary really, asking what he’s been up to and if he’s feeling better.

Scooping you up in his arms he carries you to the bedroom, stating that he’s just been “waiting for you”. Giggling at the sight of your bed you gawk at him asking “did you make a pillow fort?!” He actually looks a little prideful when he tells you he did and that “the structural integrity is absolutely astounding.” He’ll only let you leave the fort for good reasons, either food or the bathroom seems to be the only things he lets you get up for so far.

In the morning you give him a spare key, telling him to feel free to use it whenever. And that he does, the next day finding him cocooned in your blankets on the couch. The only thing you can see is his beautiful green eyes peeking at you from his nest of blankets. Hiding in your home definitely becomes a routine for him, only going to his own for clothes and whatever other items he may need. Spending a few nights at his own place every so often to give you space (that you never needed he just worries). Just a few nights every so often though cause why does he need to be there “when everything I want is here”

Rufus+Tseng (they’re definitely a package deal, can’t tell me otherwise) ffff-hi Reno you weren’t supposed to be here but my mind has now put you here

You certainly didn’t give these guys access to your home. Walking through your apartment after a long day, to what you thought was going to be a relaxing evening. Instead being greeted by a massive guard hound, well that wasn’t on your schedule but it seemed to get penciled in “what the fuck is that?” You can’t help but spit out, reaching for your pistol only to be interrupted by a foreign voice

“Now don’t be rude Y/N. The things you just got done doing are far more terrifying than my DarkStar.” Your eyes immediately darting around to find the owner of that voice- Who is this pretty blonde fuck sitting on your couch? Legs crossed, arm propped against the arm rest with his head held up by his hand. It’s almost like he’s trying to look as disinterested as possible in…whatever it was they were here for.

Not to mention the guy standing beside him, long black hair pulled back neatly…yeah, that’s just screaming to be pulled. Drawing his weapon the minute you reached for your own, telling you to drop it and to step towards them slowly. As you start taking steps towards the duo your arm is grabbed and being twisted behind your back. Their chest rumbling against your back as they chuckle.

“Oh, this one is so cute. How do we feel about ‘em bossman?” craning your neck to get a look at your assailant, being greeted by a red head with a goofy grin on his face. My god he was easy on the eyes as well. Sporting a suit similar to the raven haired man, his shirt unbuttoned, leaving his chest deliciously exposed. If it weren’t obvious you were in danger you might’ve thought you were in for a treat. Jumping a bit as his other hand starts roaming your body. Letting out a chuckle as Reno speaks stating that he’s “just checking for weapons, ya know how it goes. Unless..” his tone turning flirtatious to be cut off swiftly by Tseng, requesting you take a seat.

Reno, as the gentleman he is, assists you in your seat. All but shoving you down as he leaves his hands resting on your shoulders. You make it clear not to him “mishandle the merchandise” only for him to tell you he “can do better later.” Quickly shutting down the interaction between Reno and yourself finally asking who they were and why they were here. Rufus does a majority of the talking he is the center of attention of course, going into detail about how the Turks have been tracking you for the past year. Going through the list of atrocities you’ve committed along with some pretty damning evidence.

“Wow, you kill a few people and now the government is breaking into your home? I don’t know if this is really warranted.” At that comment you receive a rather pointed glance from Tseng and a raised eyebrow from Rufus. Finally getting to the point after Tseng lectures you on how this is a serious matter and there’s no time to play. They offer you a job with them, “redemption” as Rufus called it. While sure you’re a criminal, you indirectly solved a lot of their problems and you’re the final loose end they needed secured. “Or, you can go back to prison, but this time for the rest of your life.”

Though Tseng made it clear, if you can’t pass their training and be a successful member of the Turks you’ll be going prison anyway. Your smarts and ability to have snuck through the system this long is what got their attention drawn to you, well Rufus’ attention. Tseng thinks picking up “low-life criminals” to join their forces is far below them. Besides, they don’t really need you anyways, they just want you.

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Crying cause I hate I can tell when I first started writing this and when I finally found it and finished. Saving things to drafts seems like a dangerous game I won’t be playing again. I couldn’t think of anything to add to characters I already wrote for. Definitely making the last hc something bigger and is now main priority.

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More Posts from Flowerwiththemachinegun

11 months ago
Sefikura A/B/O AU, Featuring The Remnants As Their Child
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Read from right to left

Twitter

11 months ago

Huh?!

MINIROTH'S NEW WEAPON IS A GODDAMN STICK

MINIROTH'S NEW WEAPON IS A GODDAMN STICK
MINIROTH'S NEW WEAPON IS A GODDAMN STICK

We're in full Shitpost Era, folks 🤡

10 months ago

holy shit I just made 🌈 progress 🌈

10 months ago

And I-oop

vincent: since we’re together now you should know that sephiroth is my son

cloud: thank you for being honest with me. this is definitely information i can be trusted with

the next time sephiroth appears:

cloud: HEY BIMBO GUESS WHO FUCKED YOUR DAD

10 months ago

Yes hello I just wanted to say as a massive sword nerd ily square for making Genesis actually use Rapier like a rapier—you do tend to do a lot of stabbing with rapiers because they’re so long (although you can cut with them too, but he doesn’t really have great rapier cutting form with Rapier so can’t win em all ig, video game limitations) and they actually draw attention to it in this little cutscene. Rapier is also quite a notably long and thin(er) weapon, like an actual rapier. Awesome little details that made me very happy!

rapier go stab stab

Also, I think it’s perfect that they chose a specifically one-handed weapon for him, since as the resident swordmage it leaves his other hand always free to cast spells when needed without dropping his sword’s defense. And I don’t know how to describe it really but he really has a rapier person personality (fondly, ily my more rapier focused friends lmao)