Beware All The People Im Following, My Ass Is Dropping Random Stuff In Ask Boxes, Keep An Eye Out

Beware all the people im following, my ass is dropping random stuff in ask boxes, keep an eye out

*drops this in here*

The boys all hate pigeons, not for like the usual

“Their filthy animals” thing no no no, but the fact that they each have had an incident with a pigeon

Mikey? Ordered kfc one time, not only did a pigeon shit on him while he was getting it but umm wasn’t exactly chicken in there

Leo, poor boy. Was in the middle of a stealth mission for intel, and 2 pigeons landed infront of him and started banging, he nearly got caught from all the noise the birds were making

Donnie, plain and simple, one of his devices was malfunctioning and he opened it up. Only for a pigeon to immediately knock it out of his hands and break it

Raphs. He will never speak of it, it horrifies him so terribly

(He accidentally stood on a pigeon while roof hopping and felt really bad about it, hides his guilt with hatred towards the birds)

I READ THIS AT WORK AND NEARLY SPIT MY WATER OUT, NINJA WHAT

LEO'S PART I AM SCREAMING WHY IS IT SO ACCURATE. i know he didnt want to talk about it afterwards with his brothers

Ok but hear me out, sexy cars

I will not get hyperfixated on transformers shells are hard enough to draw in not drawing sexy cars idc I won’t

UGHHHFDBDJJSNSHS I LOVE YOU MARRY ME

Incoming: Additional Bayverse HCs

(As Always - Adult Turtles in mind)

while all four turtles are fascinated with and fond of human hair, ALL of them are thoroughly grossed out by pulling long hair out of the drain catch

and you better believe they will turn into children and chase one another around with and/or throw any hair they remove from the shower at each other

(que yelling and swearing while dancing around trying to keep some piece of furniture or another person between themselves and the offending wad of wet hair dangling in one brother's fingers)

as grown adults now - each brother has established his own space outside of the lair

Donnie has a cheap studio apartment on the outskirts of the city, Raph has digs in an abandoned warehouse by the docks, Mikey has an alcove hidden off an unused maintenance tunnel off the subway, and Leo has his own little sanctuary in a set of forgotten Conex shipping containers not far off from the underpass where Mikey blew up Vern's car

while the lair is still their main residence, these places are still vital for these now adult males to get some space and a breath of independence from time to time

and for, ya know, other activities.... (wink)

Leo is genuinely freaked out by the paranormal

he is used to being faced with real, tangible, physical problems to handle

and those? no problem - he's not one to shrink from a challenge

but anything that he cannot see and/or strike down with a weapon?

ah HELL NAW

lost a lot of sleep over nightmares about it growing up in fact

Donnie doesn't believe in the paranormal

science and logic tell him there is always some rational explanation to what is going on

flights of fancy and overactive imaginations get the better of a person's thinking - not with Donnie

BUT - he's totally open to being proven wrong

Raph is pretty impartial on the idea of the paranormal

like, he thinks it makes sense for it to be a real thing - that doesn't mean he wants any part of it though

in his mind, if he were to be confronted with something paranormal, he'd just turn and look the other way

if he minds his business, it'll mind its business --- right???

Mikey absolutely believes in the paranormal

I mean, come on, look at he and his family for crying out loud - they all exist so the paranormal can't be that far off

he is the only one who actively tries to have some sort of experience - all to the dismay of everyone else in the lair

the boys all snuck out on Halloween as kids

unbeknownst to them, Splinter knew each and every time

he'd follow along lurking in the shadows to make sure they stayed out of trouble and got back home safe

Leo, Raph and Donnie all lost the allure to the holiday and no longer have much interest in participating

Mikey, however, still loves it and occasionally succeeds in getting his brothers to saunter around the fringes of Halloween festivities

Splinter, shockingly, does in fact have a special someone

she is a person whom he met many years ago, totally by accident, when he was a brand-new rat dad struggling to care for his four infant turtle sons

she of course has no idea any of them are mutants, as she is blind, but she knew right away something was different about them

this woman has an incredibly kind and caring heart though, so instead of asking questions, she just offered Splinter help where she could - advice, second-hand clothes, a friend when he needed reassurance, ect.

it was his connection to this woman that helped Splinter teach his sons how to properly interact with humans - knowing it was inevitable that it'd happen one day

he has always kept her existence, and their friendship, a closely guarded (completely selfish) secret from the four brothers

(he's not perfect - no one is - and he has no interest in changing the bond they've nurtured over the decades)

now that his sons are grown and beginning to develop relationships of their own, Splinter spends more and more time with this woman

in their old age, and long history, they see one another as kindred spirits and value one another as life companions (100% platonic in nature)

Fun Fact! this mystery woman of Splinter's is the one who bought the turtles their very first pizza and began a life-long love of theirs

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Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed!

@luckycharms1701 @yorshie @justalotoffanfiction @definitely-canon @writinandcrying @donniesgirlie @gornackeaterofworlds @thelaundrybitch @sophiacloud28 @iridescentflamingo @the-cauldron-witch @thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos @ninnosaurus @tmnt-tychou @thepinkpanther83

ping: @angelcatlowyn​

Fym that part is great, i get to rub a soft piece of fabric over my body for almost no reason? AND if im feeling lazy i can just wrap myself in it until I decide “yeah i can get dressed now”

Not to mention the silly part where you dry your hair, you can either squeeze and ruffle tf out of it or you can wrap it up into a faux wig. Drying off is fun and no one can tell me otherwise

We don't talk enough about how the Post-Shower Drying Off segment sucks

. . . *slowly pulls out the coffin nails and graveyard dirt*

Bird

Raphael x Fem!reader

Warnings: Refrence to guns and animal death

(This is pure catharsis. It happened to me earlier today and I'm still feeling it. Thank you so much @truffle-draws-turtles for the emergency Raph hug. I really needed it.)

"Monsters!!!" You growl as the front door hits the wall so hard the knob leaves a dent. You toss your bag in the corner, ignoring the explosion of boots, heels, and sneakers that scatter from the mud mat.

You storm past everyone congregated in the living room for pre patrol coffee, and down the hall to your bedroom, clearly having been crying. Picture frames shake on the wall as you slam the door behind you.

Everyone exchanges worried glances, before Raph breaks off to head down the hall.

There is a gentle knock on the door.

"Come in," you say, sniffling, wiping your nose on your sleeve. He opens the door to you sitting on the edge of the bed wiping your eyes.

"Hey princess," he says softly, "you okay?"

You close your eyes and shake your head and cover your face with your hands as a sob escapes you.

He's by your side in seconds, pulling you into his lap and wrapping you up in his arms as you cry. When you're calm enough to speak again, he kisses you on the forehead and tilts your face to his. "What can I do?" He asks.

You shake your head, "Nothing. It's over."

"What is?" He asks, wiping a tear away with his thumb.

A few more tears fall, which he wipes away as well. "I cut through the park on my way home and there were some stupid kids firing off an airsoft rifle. At first they were just scaring the ducks, you know? Dick move but pretty harmless. But then they actually hit one."

Your voice thickens as new tears begin to fall, "I tried, I really tried," you insist, "I got them out of the lake and pulled them to shore but they got hit in the neck and gods it took like two minutes. I didn't know what to do, so I just held it until it..." You bury your face in his shoulder and sob.

He tightens his grip around you, resting his head against yours, "I'm so sorry, princess," he rumbles softly, "did you tell anyone?"

You shook your head.

"Why not?"

"Promise you won't be mad?"

His brow furrows at that one, and gives you a look you know very well.

"I may have... followed them."

He sighs heavily, "Y/N..."

"Look, it was three jackass kids with an airsoft rifle, it wasn't like I was in any actual danger. They were basically just off the tit." You insist.

He rolls his eyes, "Okay, fine, still a dumb move, but what happened?"

You hesitate.

"Y/N..."

"I gave him a black eye and broke his gun..." you say quickly, cringe-grinning, hoping he's not too mad, "and his hand," you add quickly

He's quiet for a moment, "...and the other two?"

"One... may have accidently got their shoulder dislocated?"

He nods, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Lemme guess," he says, "You left the third alone so-"

"-so he could drive their stupid moped to the hospital, yeah," you confirm.

He wraps his arms tighter around you , squeezing gently, "that's my girl."

...

A/N

Unfortunately I didn't beat them up, just yelled at them. They were all adults. Not even youngish adults. But I did hold the poor limpkin and contact authorities. Nothing is going to happen because they're white rednecks and I'm a visibly queer, openly pagan monsterfucker, so I'm not the one they're going to believe. They're also my neighbors, so this should be fun...

So if anyone could just send some karma-type vibes to those fuckers, it'd be appreciated.

...

Tag list

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